(Deleted through replacement

I'll be straight up with you, I have never found a fat person pretty. I'm sorry. I've tried so hard. (Really -- I did my best to date fat folks a couple times because otherwise they were super cool, but my sex drive just cannot work with that. Fat is the opposite of hot to me. I feel bad for those folks having to deal with me. It was over a decade ago haha.)

I'll be straight up with you, I have never found a fat person pretty. I'm sorry. I've tried so hard. (Really -- I did my best to date fat folks a couple times because otherwise they were super cool, but my sex drive just cannot work with that. Fat is the opposite of hot to me. I feel bad for those folks having to deal with me. It was over a decade ago haha.)

God forbid anyone post for encouragement and comfort. Go away, please.

Back last March, I got ESG (endoscopic sleeve gastroplasty). I had 6 weeks of a liquids only diet. I painstakingly tracked calories after that according to what doctors said to do -- a 1200 calorie/day diet. Yeah, I'm a short woman, but it sucks. But I soldiered on! I put myself on my home scale week after week, watching the number bounce around but generally trend down. I was so happy. I started at 251 post-colonoscopy-cleanse (since they have to remove all of everything in your gut before doing the procedure), and finally, after a year, I got to 215. I was so glad! And then I stepped on an actually accurate scale at work today, apparently. 238.
Are you f**king joking?
I said it had to be my clothes and stuff, so I went into the bathroom (single occupancy, thankfully), and stripped. Hopped on. 235. Dammit.
Well, maybe it's not accurate. We have some weights around the office, I said. Let's put one on, I said. It claims to be 45 lbs. Scale says...45.2 lbs. Augh.
So my bathroom scale is either 15 pounds off, the very concept of which is destroying me, or I've gained a whole ton of Water weight for no reason. But I've taken tape measurements -- my waist is down 4 inches and my hips are down 5. I'm eating less in general. I really do think I'm making my calorie counts. My arms and stomach look more defined. That's got to be significant, right? ...Right?
If all this adds up, I have not lost 14% of my body weight. I have lost 6%. And that means I am a severe outlier and a failure at the procedure. This was the last ditch effort for me after more than a decade of trying everything I could figure. Most weight loss meds haven't worked for me. Saxenda worked for a while and then stopped.
Was the doctor's office scale wrong? It agreed with my bathroom scale at the time. Has my bathroom scale broken and I'm just fucked? Did I just gain a whole shitload of water weight? I don't have my period due to an IUD, so I can't imagine it's that.
Please give me something that isn't "you failed." Please. Please.

Actually, I did say what I wanted to hear. I said, please tell me I haven't failed. It's literally in the title.
Making a passive-aggressive post over here about my thread is kinda rude.

Actually, I did say what I wanted to hear. I said, please tell me I haven't failed. It's literally in the title.
Making a passive-aggressive post over here about my thread is kinda rude.

I do exercise. I don't eat big desserts and meals anymore. The point of this procedure was to make things go from "awful" to "bearable."
Anyway, I'm not sure what else to say. I'm a person on the end of my mental rope near constantly. I barely have all my adult stuff together. This is one more burden. I'm doing what I can. I think most people don't quite understand the razor edge that I'm on. One thing going wrong and my entire existence falls apart. It's what I can to do keep things together.
That's the last I'll say in the thread. Thanks to the nice folks, I know lots of people here mean well. I should never have looked at that damn scale at work. Good luck with stuff you're doing, and have fun around the internet.

I do exercise. I don't eat big desserts and meals anymore. The point of this procedure was to make things go from "awful" to "bearable."
Anyway, I'm not sure what else to say. I'm a person on the end of my mental rope near constantly. I barely have all my adult stuff together. This is one more burden. I'm doing what I can. I think most people don't quite understand the razor edge that I'm on. One thing going wrong and my entire existence falls apart. It's what I can to do keep things together.
That's the last I'll say in the thread. Thanks to the nice folks, I know lots of people here mean well. I should never have looked at that damn scale at work. Good luck with stuff you're doing, and have fun around the internet.

Actually, I did say what I wanted to hear. I said, please tell me I haven't failed. It's literally in the title.
Making a passive-aggressive post over here about my thread is kinda rude.

Actually, I did say what I wanted to hear. I said, please tell me I haven't failed. It's literally in the title.
Making a passive-aggressive post over here about my thread is kinda rude.

Scroll over their name, a box will pop up and you select, "Ignore User."

Maybe YOU feel better when people are giving you tough love, but most people do not. Most people find "supportive" comments make them more inclined to change their behavior. And, you were probably struggling with your weight for years before surgery. Did anyone "telling you the truth about how you're doing everything wrong" cause you to meaningfully start eating healthier and exercising more? If it did, you wouldn't have ended up getting surgery.
There is so much scientific literature that shows that BULLYING is not helpful. Telling people that they MUST be doing everything wrong or else they'd have great results is NEVER going to make someone change their behavior, and it ASSUMES that there is something wrong with what they are doing.
Since you are not their doctor and have not examined them, and you do not follow them around all day watching what they eat and do, you can only assume that she is doing everything wrong; you really have no evidence, and I know there are a lot of people who do everything right and still don't loose much weight.

JUST STOP BEING MEAN AND UNHELPFUL

Also, did you see he made a passive-aggressive post in the Rants area about this? Ugh.
I'm already screwed up enough. I don't need anything more to make me sad. I need scraps of hope and happiness.

Also, did you see he made a passive-aggressive post in the Rants area about this? Ugh.
I'm already screwed up enough. I don't need anything more to make me sad. I need scraps of hope and happiness.

God forbid anyone post for encouragement and comfort. Go away, please.

God forbid anyone post for encouragement and comfort. Go away, please.

And now I just want to give up entirely. This is the opposite of helpful. I guess I'm really just bad at everything.

Back last March, I got ESG (endoscopic sleeve gastroplasty). I had 6 weeks of a liquids only diet. I painstakingly tracked calories after that according to what doctors said to do -- a 1200 calorie/day diet. Yeah, I'm a short woman, but it sucks. But I soldiered on! I put myself on my home scale week after week, watching the number bounce around but generally trend down. I was so happy. I started at 251 post-colonoscopy-cleanse (since they have to remove all of everything in your gut before doing the procedure), and finally, after a year, I got to 215. I was so glad! And then I stepped on an actually accurate scale at work today, apparently. 238.
Are you f**king joking?
I said it had to be my clothes and stuff, so I went into the bathroom (single occupancy, thankfully), and stripped. Hopped on. 235. Dammit.
Well, maybe it's not accurate. We have some weights around the office, I said. Let's put one on, I said. It claims to be 45 lbs. Scale says...45.2 lbs. Augh.
So my bathroom scale is either 15 pounds off, the very concept of which is destroying me, or I've gained a whole ton of Water weight for no reason. But I've taken tape measurements -- my waist is down 4 inches and my hips are down 5. I'm eating less in general. I really do think I'm making my calorie counts. My arms and stomach look more defined. That's got to be significant, right? ...Right?
If all this adds up, I have not lost 14% of my body weight. I have lost 6%. And that means I am a severe outlier and a failure at the procedure. This was the last ditch effort for me after more than a decade of trying everything I could figure. Most weight loss meds haven't worked for me. Saxenda worked for a while and then stopped.
Was the doctor's office scale wrong? It agreed with my bathroom scale at the time. Has my bathroom scale broken and I'm just fucked? Did I just gain a whole shitload of water weight? I don't have my period due to an IUD, so I can't imagine it's that.
Please give me something that isn't "you failed." Please. Please.

It has been 7 months since I had my ESG procedure in March. What a weird ride. I guess I'm just posting this to muse on the situation as a whole. Wall of text time!
Six Weeks of Suck
A six week liquid diet was awful. It went in 2 week chunks and degraded over time. The first two weeks, it was amusing. I got to tell people what was going on! The first entire week I was basically sleeping anyway and took sick days, so it was just me, in bed, playing Pokemon Sword. A weird sort of vacation, really, even if half of it was crippling nausea and whining to my husband. The next two weeks was boring and a bit annoying, but I at least got to sip chicken broth and relish the fact that my food tasted like actual food. (I bought a jar of low fat chicken gravy at the store at one point and sipped it in the car while feeling like some kind of jewel thief having pulled off a heist. It was the best food I have ever eaten.) The last two weeks, I just wanted to strangle the doctors for not letting me eat solid food. Six weeks! People who have literal stomach removal have less time than that! But no, the surgeon said that six weeks was because the sutures are internal, and thus are constantly disturbed, so in a weird twist they take longer to heal than gastric sleeve surgeries.
Did I mention basic recovery sucked for the first few days? When I came out of anesthesia, the doctors said I had been under for a long time, because I was just too sleepy to actually wake after I was technically conscious. They kept me until I could walk, which was way longer than they thought. Even walking down the driveway made me so tired I had to lean on someone. Going to the bathroom and back to bed was enough to take a nap afterwards. I had to rotate constantly to stop feeling nauseous or crampy. I emergency-called the doctors for some more anti-nausea meds because the first ones just didn't work well enough. Then, like magic, around day 7, it all stopped and I could get up and do stuff normally.
Not being able to lift more than 15 pounds or whatever the limit was, was almost a deal-breaker. I work with heavy machinery a lot, but I saw that problem coming. My long-suffering (but kind) coworkers carried things for me. But at home, do you know how many things weigh 20 lbs? Stuff full of liquid is right out. A gallon of Water by itself weighs 9 lbs, heaven help you if you have to carry anything else with it. My husband had to haul our pet food and litter bags, which we buy in 50 pound sacks because we hate having to shop a lot. Even normal grocery shopping bags can approach 15 pounds if you fill them full. When I was still exhausted, I had to get a very confused Target employee to help me carry a single bag out to the car. I'm sure this guy had no idea what was going on, with a 30-something woman shuffling up to him like an old lady and holding out a fairly light bag and asking if he would be wonderful and carry this to her car because she had picked up too much stuff and now her body was saying it was time to sleep right here on the floor if she didn't hand it off.

Did I Cheat on the Diet?
Yes. 100%. I absolutely cheated. I cheated like a soap opera spouse. Honestly, the lesson I learned was that this really caused no harm whatsoever. Probably a bad lesson, but in the end, it made those last two weeks bearable. The doctor said Clear Liquids only, but I added in pureed chunky Soups, Greek yogurt, and scrambled eggs. I chewed for a long time and made sure everything in my mouth was blenderized into pure liquid, and I still ate incredibly small meals. But really, anything to get me off those fake-ass Protein Shakes. I didn't tell my team the extent of the cheating, but I never felt any pain, and I still made my calorie and macro counts. The first day I let myself eat tuna from a can was the day angels sang in my ear. I furtively snatched it up at CVS, a tiny can the size of one of those Fancy Feast cat food tins. I snuck it in the car and dumped the can in a recycle bin before my husband could see it and wag his finger. Oh, it was good.
What I'm getting at is that I was losing my bananas during the last 2 weeks of that dang liquid diet, and I needed something to eat that felt like real food, or I was going to crack. I think this worked out.

Have I Lost Weight?
45 pounds so far. From what I can tell, there is really no way to beat the "1-2 pounds per week" rule. No amount of surgery was going to take my resting metabolic rate of 1800 and somehow get 5 pounds a week out of lowering it to 1000 cal/week. I think all the "omg I lost 10 pounds my first week" is water and glycogen, no matter who you are, unless you're very obese.
Water weight will get you early on. If you gain weight or have not lost weight even 3-4 weeks after the procedure, it's probably still water weight. There's no way your body can retain fat on 1000 calories a day unless you have a disease/disorder.
You will gain weight abruptly when you start putting food back in your body. I'm shocked at how much food in various parts of digestion weigh. That said, according to the mayo Clinic, food takes about 36-48 hours from entering, to exit your body. Think about how much you eat in 48 hours. Let's say, for round numbers, you eat a meal weighing 3/4 lb, 3x/day. So that's 2.25 lbs a day. 48 hours is 4 days. Before the meal on day 1 exits on day 4, you've put a total of 9 pounds of stuff into your body. 9 pounds! That's like 4 weeks of weight loss, supposedly gone immediately! But it's not. If, like me, your last weight reference was right before the surgery, you fully blasted those 6 or so pounds of food out of your system with the absolutely awful colonoscopy cleanse they made you drink. You know how much you ate at each meal before surgery, at least ballpark. Add those "phantom" pounds to your hospital weight, and you have your "actual" weight. So my actual weight was really around 260, not 251, because it was 251 with my entire intestinal tract scrubbed to a bile-yellow liquid shine. (Ew.)
Basically, expect water weight to cover up early weight loss and food weight to cover up weight loss about 1-2 months in, depending on when you're allowed to eat solids.

Frustrating Points
I am still not particularly lower in my dress size. I have absolutely lost some inches, but it seems to be coming off relatively evenly, so I'm still a 16-18 in a dress. I'm frustrated, because part of the point of this was to fit into my old college clothes, but I expected to lose a couple of dress sizes in 45 lbs of weight loss. I still have a bunch of clothes sitting around waiting for me to be able to fit them. That said, women's clothing sizes are stupid, and I really don't know what my dress size was when starting. I thought it was 18, but I gained weight over the pandemic, so I have no clue anymore.

Awesome Points
I can eat what I want. Seriously. The physical size of my stomach limits me from eating a lot, but I can eat single meals, and usually they last me the entire day. I routinely take home leftovers now. But in the end, the food I want isn't fast food and pizza -- though to be fair, I still do eat pizza. I just eat way less of it. I don't have to optimize now, and my body seems to actually obey calorie counts now without getting hungry. I still eat pizza every so often. I still have dessert. I had candy on Halloween. I still don't eat salad. In the end, I feel like this was what I wanted: the ability to eat the food I actually like, socially, while having my body go in a direction I don't hate. I have actual hunger cues now, and I'm not constantly thinking about food.

Would I Recommend ESG?
I will tout ESG from the tops of mountains now. Some suck early on for a feeling of actual control over my body and a sense that I finally obey physics as I know it? Yes. Yes, please. I should have gotten this years ago. When my parents offered to cover weight loss surgery when I was like 23, I should have said "YES NOW" instead of "ugh why would you offer that?".

It has been 7 months since I had my ESG procedure in March. What a weird ride. I guess I'm just posting this to muse on the situation as a whole. Wall of text time!
Six Weeks of Suck
A six week liquid diet was awful. It went in 2 week chunks and degraded over time. The first two weeks, it was amusing. I got to tell people what was going on! The first entire week I was basically sleeping anyway and took sick days, so it was just me, in bed, playing Pokemon Sword. A weird sort of vacation, really, even if half of it was crippling nausea and whining to my husband. The next two weeks was boring and a bit annoying, but I at least got to sip chicken broth and relish the fact that my food tasted like actual food. (I bought a jar of low fat chicken gravy at the store at one point and sipped it in the car while feeling like some kind of jewel thief having pulled off a heist. It was the best food I have ever eaten.) The last two weeks, I just wanted to strangle the doctors for not letting me eat solid food. Six weeks! People who have literal stomach removal have less time than that! But no, the surgeon said that six weeks was because the sutures are internal, and thus are constantly disturbed, so in a weird twist they take longer to heal than gastric sleeve surgeries.
Did I mention basic recovery sucked for the first few days? When I came out of anesthesia, the doctors said I had been under for a long time, because I was just too sleepy to actually wake after I was technically conscious. They kept me until I could walk, which was way longer than they thought. Even walking down the driveway made me so tired I had to lean on someone. Going to the bathroom and back to bed was enough to take a nap afterwards. I had to rotate constantly to stop feeling nauseous or crampy. I emergency-called the doctors for some more anti-nausea meds because the first ones just didn't work well enough. Then, like magic, around day 7, it all stopped and I could get up and do stuff normally.
Not being able to lift more than 15 pounds or whatever the limit was, was almost a deal-breaker. I work with heavy machinery a lot, but I saw that problem coming. My long-suffering (but kind) coworkers carried things for me. But at home, do you know how many things weigh 20 lbs? Stuff full of liquid is right out. A gallon of Water by itself weighs 9 lbs, heaven help you if you have to carry anything else with it. My husband had to haul our pet food and litter bags, which we buy in 50 pound sacks because we hate having to shop a lot. Even normal grocery shopping bags can approach 15 pounds if you fill them full. When I was still exhausted, I had to get a very confused Target employee to help me carry a single bag out to the car. I'm sure this guy had no idea what was going on, with a 30-something woman shuffling up to him like an old lady and holding out a fairly light bag and asking if he would be wonderful and carry this to her car because she had picked up too much stuff and now her body was saying it was time to sleep right here on the floor if she didn't hand it off.

Did I Cheat on the Diet?
Yes. 100%. I absolutely cheated. I cheated like a soap opera spouse. Honestly, the lesson I learned was that this really caused no harm whatsoever. Probably a bad lesson, but in the end, it made those last two weeks bearable. The doctor said Clear Liquids only, but I added in pureed chunky Soups, Greek yogurt, and scrambled eggs. I chewed for a long time and made sure everything in my mouth was blenderized into pure liquid, and I still ate incredibly small meals. But really, anything to get me off those fake-ass Protein Shakes. I didn't tell my team the extent of the cheating, but I never felt any pain, and I still made my calorie and macro counts. The first day I let myself eat tuna from a can was the day angels sang in my ear. I furtively snatched it up at CVS, a tiny can the size of one of those Fancy Feast cat food tins. I snuck it in the car and dumped the can in a recycle bin before my husband could see it and wag his finger. Oh, it was good.
What I'm getting at is that I was losing my bananas during the last 2 weeks of that dang liquid diet, and I needed something to eat that felt like real food, or I was going to crack. I think this worked out.

Have I Lost Weight?
45 pounds so far. From what I can tell, there is really no way to beat the "1-2 pounds per week" rule. No amount of surgery was going to take my resting metabolic rate of 1800 and somehow get 5 pounds a week out of lowering it to 1000 cal/week. I think all the "omg I lost 10 pounds my first week" is water and glycogen, no matter who you are, unless you're very obese.
Water weight will get you early on. If you gain weight or have not lost weight even 3-4 weeks after the procedure, it's probably still water weight. There's no way your body can retain fat on 1000 calories a day unless you have a disease/disorder.
You will gain weight abruptly when you start putting food back in your body. I'm shocked at how much food in various parts of digestion weigh. That said, according to the mayo Clinic, food takes about 36-48 hours from entering, to exit your body. Think about how much you eat in 48 hours. Let's say, for round numbers, you eat a meal weighing 3/4 lb, 3x/day. So that's 2.25 lbs a day. 48 hours is 4 days. Before the meal on day 1 exits on day 4, you've put a total of 9 pounds of stuff into your body. 9 pounds! That's like 4 weeks of weight loss, supposedly gone immediately! But it's not. If, like me, your last weight reference was right before the surgery, you fully blasted those 6 or so pounds of food out of your system with the absolutely awful colonoscopy cleanse they made you drink. You know how much you ate at each meal before surgery, at least ballpark. Add those "phantom" pounds to your hospital weight, and you have your "actual" weight. So my actual weight was really around 260, not 251, because it was 251 with my entire intestinal tract scrubbed to a bile-yellow liquid shine. (Ew.)
Basically, expect water weight to cover up early weight loss and food weight to cover up weight loss about 1-2 months in, depending on when you're allowed to eat solids.

Frustrating Points
I am still not particularly lower in my dress size. I have absolutely lost some inches, but it seems to be coming off relatively evenly, so I'm still a 16-18 in a dress. I'm frustrated, because part of the point of this was to fit into my old college clothes, but I expected to lose a couple of dress sizes in 45 lbs of weight loss. I still have a bunch of clothes sitting around waiting for me to be able to fit them. That said, women's clothing sizes are stupid, and I really don't know what my dress size was when starting. I thought it was 18, but I gained weight over the pandemic, so I have no clue anymore.

Awesome Points
I can eat what I want. Seriously. The physical size of my stomach limits me from eating a lot, but I can eat single meals, and usually they last me the entire day. I routinely take home leftovers now. But in the end, the food I want isn't fast food and pizza -- though to be fair, I still do eat pizza. I just eat way less of it. I don't have to optimize now, and my body seems to actually obey calorie counts now without getting hungry. I still eat pizza every so often. I still have dessert. I had candy on Halloween. I still don't eat salad. In the end, I feel like this was what I wanted: the ability to eat the food I actually like, socially, while having my body go in a direction I don't hate. I have actual hunger cues now, and I'm not constantly thinking about food.

Would I Recommend ESG?
I will tout ESG from the tops of mountains now. Some suck early on for a feeling of actual control over my body and a sense that I finally obey physics as I know it? Yes. Yes, please. I should have gotten this years ago. When my parents offered to cover weight loss surgery when I was like 23, I should have said "YES NOW" instead of "ugh why would you offer that?".

It has been 7 months since I had my ESG procedure in March. What a weird ride. I guess I'm just posting this to muse on the situation as a whole. Wall of text time!
Six Weeks of Suck
A six week liquid diet was awful. It went in 2 week chunks and degraded over time. The first two weeks, it was amusing. I got to tell people what was going on! The first entire week I was basically sleeping anyway and took sick days, so it was just me, in bed, playing Pokemon Sword. A weird sort of vacation, really, even if half of it was crippling nausea and whining to my husband. The next two weeks was boring and a bit annoying, but I at least got to sip chicken broth and relish the fact that my food tasted like actual food. (I bought a jar of low fat chicken gravy at the store at one point and sipped it in the car while feeling like some kind of jewel thief having pulled off a heist. It was the best food I have ever eaten.) The last two weeks, I just wanted to strangle the doctors for not letting me eat solid food. Six weeks! People who have literal stomach removal have less time than that! But no, the surgeon said that six weeks was because the sutures are internal, and thus are constantly disturbed, so in a weird twist they take longer to heal than gastric sleeve surgeries.
Did I mention basic recovery sucked for the first few days? When I came out of anesthesia, the doctors said I had been under for a long time, because I was just too sleepy to actually wake after I was technically conscious. They kept me until I could walk, which was way longer than they thought. Even walking down the driveway made me so tired I had to lean on someone. Going to the bathroom and back to bed was enough to take a nap afterwards. I had to rotate constantly to stop feeling nauseous or crampy. I emergency-called the doctors for some more anti-nausea meds because the first ones just didn't work well enough. Then, like magic, around day 7, it all stopped and I could get up and do stuff normally.
Not being able to lift more than 15 pounds or whatever the limit was, was almost a deal-breaker. I work with heavy machinery a lot, but I saw that problem coming. My long-suffering (but kind) coworkers carried things for me. But at home, do you know how many things weigh 20 lbs? Stuff full of liquid is right out. A gallon of Water by itself weighs 9 lbs, heaven help you if you have to carry anything else with it. My husband had to haul our pet food and litter bags, which we buy in 50 pound sacks because we hate having to shop a lot. Even normal grocery shopping bags can approach 15 pounds if you fill them full. When I was still exhausted, I had to get a very confused Target employee to help me carry a single bag out to the car. I'm sure this guy had no idea what was going on, with a 30-something woman shuffling up to him like an old lady and holding out a fairly light bag and asking if he would be wonderful and carry this to her car because she had picked up too much stuff and now her body was saying it was time to sleep right here on the floor if she didn't hand it off.

Did I Cheat on the Diet?
Yes. 100%. I absolutely cheated. I cheated like a soap opera spouse. Honestly, the lesson I learned was that this really caused no harm whatsoever. Probably a bad lesson, but in the end, it made those last two weeks bearable. The doctor said Clear Liquids only, but I added in pureed chunky Soups, Greek yogurt, and scrambled eggs. I chewed for a long time and made sure everything in my mouth was blenderized into pure liquid, and I still ate incredibly small meals. But really, anything to get me off those fake-ass Protein Shakes. I didn't tell my team the extent of the cheating, but I never felt any pain, and I still made my calorie and macro counts. The first day I let myself eat tuna from a can was the day angels sang in my ear. I furtively snatched it up at CVS, a tiny can the size of one of those Fancy Feast cat food tins. I snuck it in the car and dumped the can in a recycle bin before my husband could see it and wag his finger. Oh, it was good.
What I'm getting at is that I was losing my bananas during the last 2 weeks of that dang liquid diet, and I needed something to eat that felt like real food, or I was going to crack. I think this worked out.

Have I Lost Weight?
45 pounds so far. From what I can tell, there is really no way to beat the "1-2 pounds per week" rule. No amount of surgery was going to take my resting metabolic rate of 1800 and somehow get 5 pounds a week out of lowering it to 1000 cal/week. I think all the "omg I lost 10 pounds my first week" is water and glycogen, no matter who you are, unless you're very obese.
Water weight will get you early on. If you gain weight or have not lost weight even 3-4 weeks after the procedure, it's probably still water weight. There's no way your body can retain fat on 1000 calories a day unless you have a disease/disorder.
You will gain weight abruptly when you start putting food back in your body. I'm shocked at how much food in various parts of digestion weigh. That said, according to the mayo Clinic, food takes about 36-48 hours from entering, to exit your body. Think about how much you eat in 48 hours. Let's say, for round numbers, you eat a meal weighing 3/4 lb, 3x/day. So that's 2.25 lbs a day. 48 hours is 4 days. Before the meal on day 1 exits on day 4, you've put a total of 9 pounds of stuff into your body. 9 pounds! That's like 4 weeks of weight loss, supposedly gone immediately! But it's not. If, like me, your last weight reference was right before the surgery, you fully blasted those 6 or so pounds of food out of your system with the absolutely awful colonoscopy cleanse they made you drink. You know how much you ate at each meal before surgery, at least ballpark. Add those "phantom" pounds to your hospital weight, and you have your "actual" weight. So my actual weight was really around 260, not 251, because it was 251 with my entire intestinal tract scrubbed to a bile-yellow liquid shine. (Ew.)
Basically, expect water weight to cover up early weight loss and food weight to cover up weight loss about 1-2 months in, depending on when you're allowed to eat solids.

Frustrating Points
I am still not particularly lower in my dress size. I have absolutely lost some inches, but it seems to be coming off relatively evenly, so I'm still a 16-18 in a dress. I'm frustrated, because part of the point of this was to fit into my old college clothes, but I expected to lose a couple of dress sizes in 45 lbs of weight loss. I still have a bunch of clothes sitting around waiting for me to be able to fit them. That said, women's clothing sizes are stupid, and I really don't know what my dress size was when starting. I thought it was 18, but I gained weight over the pandemic, so I have no clue anymore.

Awesome Points
I can eat what I want. Seriously. The physical size of my stomach limits me from eating a lot, but I can eat single meals, and usually they last me the entire day. I routinely take home leftovers now. But in the end, the food I want isn't fast food and pizza -- though to be fair, I still do eat pizza. I just eat way less of it. I don't have to optimize now, and my body seems to actually obey calorie counts now without getting hungry. I still eat pizza every so often. I still have dessert. I had candy on Halloween. I still don't eat salad. In the end, I feel like this was what I wanted: the ability to eat the food I actually like, socially, while having my body go in a direction I don't hate. I have actual hunger cues now, and I'm not constantly thinking about food.

Would I Recommend ESG?
I will tout ESG from the tops of mountains now. Some suck early on for a feeling of actual control over my body and a sense that I finally obey physics as I know it? Yes. Yes, please. I should have gotten this years ago. When my parents offered to cover weight loss surgery when I was like 23, I should have said "YES NOW" instead of "ugh why would you offer that?".

It has been 7 months since I had my ESG procedure in March. What a weird ride. I guess I'm just posting this to muse on the situation as a whole. Wall of text time!
Six Weeks of Suck
A six week liquid diet was awful. It went in 2 week chunks and degraded over time. The first two weeks, it was amusing. I got to tell people what was going on! The first entire week I was basically sleeping anyway and took sick days, so it was just me, in bed, playing Pokemon Sword. A weird sort of vacation, really, even if half of it was crippling nausea and whining to my husband. The next two weeks was boring and a bit annoying, but I at least got to sip chicken broth and relish the fact that my food tasted like actual food. (I bought a jar of low fat chicken gravy at the store at one point and sipped it in the car while feeling like some kind of jewel thief having pulled off a heist. It was the best food I have ever eaten.) The last two weeks, I just wanted to strangle the doctors for not letting me eat solid food. Six weeks! People who have literal stomach removal have less time than that! But no, the surgeon said that six weeks was because the sutures are internal, and thus are constantly disturbed, so in a weird twist they take longer to heal than gastric sleeve surgeries.
Did I mention basic recovery sucked for the first few days? When I came out of anesthesia, the doctors said I had been under for a long time, because I was just too sleepy to actually wake after I was technically conscious. They kept me until I could walk, which was way longer than they thought. Even walking down the driveway made me so tired I had to lean on someone. Going to the bathroom and back to bed was enough to take a nap afterwards. I had to rotate constantly to stop feeling nauseous or crampy. I emergency-called the doctors for some more anti-nausea meds because the first ones just didn't work well enough. Then, like magic, around day 7, it all stopped and I could get up and do stuff normally.
Not being able to lift more than 15 pounds or whatever the limit was, was almost a deal-breaker. I work with heavy machinery a lot, but I saw that problem coming. My long-suffering (but kind) coworkers carried things for me. But at home, do you know how many things weigh 20 lbs? Stuff full of liquid is right out. A gallon of Water by itself weighs 9 lbs, heaven help you if you have to carry anything else with it. My husband had to haul our pet food and litter bags, which we buy in 50 pound sacks because we hate having to shop a lot. Even normal grocery shopping bags can approach 15 pounds if you fill them full. When I was still exhausted, I had to get a very confused Target employee to help me carry a single bag out to the car. I'm sure this guy had no idea what was going on, with a 30-something woman shuffling up to him like an old lady and holding out a fairly light bag and asking if he would be wonderful and carry this to her car because she had picked up too much stuff and now her body was saying it was time to sleep right here on the floor if she didn't hand it off.

Did I Cheat on the Diet?
Yes. 100%. I absolutely cheated. I cheated like a soap opera spouse. Honestly, the lesson I learned was that this really caused no harm whatsoever. Probably a bad lesson, but in the end, it made those last two weeks bearable. The doctor said Clear Liquids only, but I added in pureed chunky Soups, Greek yogurt, and scrambled eggs. I chewed for a long time and made sure everything in my mouth was blenderized into pure liquid, and I still ate incredibly small meals. But really, anything to get me off those fake-ass Protein Shakes. I didn't tell my team the extent of the cheating, but I never felt any pain, and I still made my calorie and macro counts. The first day I let myself eat tuna from a can was the day angels sang in my ear. I furtively snatched it up at CVS, a tiny can the size of one of those Fancy Feast cat food tins. I snuck it in the car and dumped the can in a recycle bin before my husband could see it and wag his finger. Oh, it was good.
What I'm getting at is that I was losing my bananas during the last 2 weeks of that dang liquid diet, and I needed something to eat that felt like real food, or I was going to crack. I think this worked out.

Have I Lost Weight?
45 pounds so far. From what I can tell, there is really no way to beat the "1-2 pounds per week" rule. No amount of surgery was going to take my resting metabolic rate of 1800 and somehow get 5 pounds a week out of lowering it to 1000 cal/week. I think all the "omg I lost 10 pounds my first week" is water and glycogen, no matter who you are, unless you're very obese.
Water weight will get you early on. If you gain weight or have not lost weight even 3-4 weeks after the procedure, it's probably still water weight. There's no way your body can retain fat on 1000 calories a day unless you have a disease/disorder.
You will gain weight abruptly when you start putting food back in your body. I'm shocked at how much food in various parts of digestion weigh. That said, according to the mayo Clinic, food takes about 36-48 hours from entering, to exit your body. Think about how much you eat in 48 hours. Let's say, for round numbers, you eat a meal weighing 3/4 lb, 3x/day. So that's 2.25 lbs a day. 48 hours is 4 days. Before the meal on day 1 exits on day 4, you've put a total of 9 pounds of stuff into your body. 9 pounds! That's like 4 weeks of weight loss, supposedly gone immediately! But it's not. If, like me, your last weight reference was right before the surgery, you fully blasted those 6 or so pounds of food out of your system with the absolutely awful colonoscopy cleanse they made you drink. You know how much you ate at each meal before surgery, at least ballpark. Add those "phantom" pounds to your hospital weight, and you have your "actual" weight. So my actual weight was really around 260, not 251, because it was 251 with my entire intestinal tract scrubbed to a bile-yellow liquid shine. (Ew.)
Basically, expect water weight to cover up early weight loss and food weight to cover up weight loss about 1-2 months in, depending on when you're allowed to eat solids.

Frustrating Points
I am still not particularly lower in my dress size. I have absolutely lost some inches, but it seems to be coming off relatively evenly, so I'm still a 16-18 in a dress. I'm frustrated, because part of the point of this was to fit into my old college clothes, but I expected to lose a couple of dress sizes in 45 lbs of weight loss. I still have a bunch of clothes sitting around waiting for me to be able to fit them. That said, women's clothing sizes are stupid, and I really don't know what my dress size was when starting. I thought it was 18, but I gained weight over the pandemic, so I have no clue anymore.

Awesome Points
I can eat what I want. Seriously. The physical size of my stomach limits me from eating a lot, but I can eat single meals, and usually they last me the entire day. I routinely take home leftovers now. But in the end, the food I want isn't fast food and pizza -- though to be fair, I still do eat pizza. I just eat way less of it. I don't have to optimize now, and my body seems to actually obey calorie counts now without getting hungry. I still eat pizza every so often. I still have dessert. I had candy on Halloween. I still don't eat salad. In the end, I feel like this was what I wanted: the ability to eat the food I actually like, socially, while having my body go in a direction I don't hate. I have actual hunger cues now, and I'm not constantly thinking about food.

Would I Recommend ESG?
I will tout ESG from the tops of mountains now. Some suck early on for a feeling of actual control over my body and a sense that I finally obey physics as I know it? Yes. Yes, please. I should have gotten this years ago. When my parents offered to cover weight loss surgery when I was like 23, I should have said "YES NOW" instead of "ugh why would you offer that?".

I've stopped losing inches now. Everything has just come to a total halt for the past 3 weeks or so. I did go on vacation week-before-last, so that particular week is a wash. I didn't eat everything in sight, but I did decide I could have dessert and drink wine with the husband. That said, me eating a lot now would probably hit 2000 calories -- it's so hard to overeat. I get full for an entire day on what would have been one standard meal out of 2 or 3 before. I have to break this stall naturally eventually, right? Physics says so?
My bathroom scale is irritatingly unreliable. I can stand shifted to my right foot and gain 5-10 pounds, to the left and lose 5-10. It's obnoxious. I think I'm around 230-235 right now. It makes sense with how I'm fitting into my clothes and how the scale has wobbled around. Dishearteningly, that's where I was before I gained the pandemic weight. So really, I look no thinner than I did before Covid. Ugh. That said, I did lose 20-30 pounds in 2 months, which is astounding compared to past progress. That's about 3 lbs a week, which IIRC is considered really dang good. Maybe time is just going slower since the ESG than I think.
I know I'm slipping on drinking Water. I don't like having to pee frequently. That said, I'm sweating more, which is a good thing considering I'm just about anhydrotic most of the time. Maybe I've just been dehydrated my entire life.
I picked up weightlifting again. I started out pretty weak, and I've had to skip some days because of the extreme heat (no AC in the gym aaaah) and work stress. That said, I'm up to 185 lb squats and 95 lbs bench-press now. That's something.

I've stopped losing inches now. Everything has just come to a total halt for the past 3 weeks or so. I did go on vacation week-before-last, so that particular week is a wash. I didn't eat everything in sight, but I did decide I could have dessert and drink wine with the husband. That said, me eating a lot now would probably hit 2000 calories -- it's so hard to overeat. I get full for an entire day on what would have been one standard meal out of 2 or 3 before. I have to break this stall naturally eventually, right? Physics says so?
My bathroom scale is irritatingly unreliable. I can stand shifted to my right foot and gain 5-10 pounds, to the left and lose 5-10. It's obnoxious. I think I'm around 230-235 right now. It makes sense with how I'm fitting into my clothes and how the scale has wobbled around. Dishearteningly, that's where I was before I gained the pandemic weight. So really, I look no thinner than I did before Covid. Ugh. That said, I did lose 20-30 pounds in 2 months, which is astounding compared to past progress. That's about 3 lbs a week, which IIRC is considered really dang good. Maybe time is just going slower since the ESG than I think.
I know I'm slipping on drinking Water. I don't like having to pee frequently. That said, I'm sweating more, which is a good thing considering I'm just about anhydrotic most of the time. Maybe I've just been dehydrated my entire life.
I picked up weightlifting again. I started out pretty weak, and I've had to skip some days because of the extreme heat (no AC in the gym aaaah) and work stress. That said, I'm up to 185 lb squats and 95 lbs bench-press now. That's something.

After thinking a long time, I believe the issue is this:
I came off a liquid diet, and then two weeks later I had fully reintroduced solids (which was around the time this happened). I also therefore was able to put some carbs in, so I came off ketosis. (The Protein Drinks I was on had ~no carbs.) Also, I've been eating probably a bit more salt than I should.
From previous experience, Keto makes me lose about 10 lbs of glycogen weight in the starting "whoosh." 10 lbs + solid food in various parts of digestion + some Water retention from salt = 15-20 lbs depending on the water retention.
So it's probable that I just haven't lost nearly as much actual fat as I think I have, which is extremely depressing, but at least there's an explanation. That said, I'm about 4 inches off both my waist and my hips, so clearly something happened. Though given my consistent weight for the past 2 weeks or so, I'm probably stalled right now. I did just start up a 3x/week strenuous weightlifting program, so hopefully that puts a dent in it.
My doctor is horrible at getting back to me on any kind of schedule, so I had to attack this myself.
The awful part is that 240 lbs is my normal weight pre-pandemic. All that work to return to the status quo.