Maryuumah

FWIW, I'm Bi and coming out in the 90s was a b***h. I've never examined particularly how this has affected my weight/ body issues throughout my life, but then my ACE score is pretty high. I'd be happy to have a LGBTQIA-specific forum, similar to "the Gals' room" or The Guys' room," I think it could only help more people have a place to ask questions or rant on topics particular to us. Generally this page is more of a "everyone in the same boat of WLS" place, all are welcome though. I'm sorry that this has been a chilly reception for you, I haven't found it to be so, generally. Most everyone here is pretty nice.

Because for instance, there is statistical evidence that lesbians have higher rates of obesity than straight women and more issues with other addictive behaviors, such as smoking. This may indicate a different level of support is needed and I see a lot of posts about families where people with chosen family may not feel as included. I’m not asking to start trouble, I’m asking because I am a lesbian, and would want to reach out to others who may have had issues like these. This forum is about WLS support, right?

Also, while we’re on the subject, I write healthcare grants regularly on the subject of people dealing with comorbidities/co-occurring disorders and since you brought up race and ethnicity, there are also studies that show we (people of color) have higher rates of obesity, hypertension, diabetes and other issues. Seems like a weight loss forum like this one may be a good place for people to safely discuss that part of their journey.

Part of my own work in taking the step to WLS was understanding how my genetics and family make up play a part in my weight gain. Also understanding and coming to terms with my own sexuality was part of my weight gain.

My question is, why is this threatening/upsetting (the caps) to you? I’m curious about your reaction to what seems a pretty normal question.
I’ve recently been sleeved, and am just at my 2 week mark from surgery. I’m down 21 lbs. today.

Because for instance, there is statistical evidence that lesbians have higher rates of obesity than straight women and more issues with other addictive behaviors, such as smoking. This may indicate a different level of support is needed and I see a lot of posts about families where people with chosen family may not feel as included. I’m not asking to start trouble, I’m asking because I am a lesbian, and would want to reach out to others who may have had issues like these. This forum is about WLS support, right?

Also, while we’re on the subject, I write healthcare grants regularly on the subject of people dealing with comorbidities/co-occurring disorders and since you brought up race and ethnicity, there are also studies that show we (people of color) have higher rates of obesity, hypertension, diabetes and other issues. Seems like a weight loss forum like this one may be a good place for people to safely discuss that part of their journey.

Part of my own work in taking the step to WLS was understanding how my genetics and family make up play a part in my weight gain. Also understanding and coming to terms with my own sexuality was part of my weight gain.

My question is, why is this threatening/upsetting (the caps) to you? I’m curious about your reaction to what seems a pretty normal question.
I’ve recently been sleeved, and am just at my 2 week mark from surgery. I’m down 21 lbs. today.

Hello!! Thanks for everyone's intros.
I'm an African American 52yr old cis woman, but I'm open to friends who are just good folks. Married for 23 yrs. Two young adult kids, 2 cats, 1 dog. My surgery is on Nov 30th, and I'm looking to make friends too!

I’m 52 gay male, married to my husband from Turkey and newly sleeved. Love my community!

I’m sorry your aren’t getting a particularly friendly welcome to the forum! I agree, affinity groups can be very a very important part of the process! If you have a question as it relates to your particular place in life, it is likely someone else has that same question. To those posting rude responses, I would encourage you to just move along from any topic you don’t feel relates to you.

they have an LGBTQIA subforum over at Obesity Help, but I don't know how active it is anymore (Bariatric Pal is definitely the more active of these two (general) forums, but I think in general, a lot of people are using Facebook groups these days. I prefer these types of forums, though...). Another option is to start one here - I know there have been other LGBTIA members here on BP in the past - there may still be a few who are current (and active) members.

I've not posted in a while but
People on the Autism spectrum also have higher rates of issues with food and weight and metabolism and digestive disorders. But I don't think I'd be on a forum specific to Autism even though I am on the spectrum. I also live with lifelong chronic illness and disability, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, many medical conditions including pcos, adult onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia ...
is it necessary to have a forum specific to these or to just focus the weight loss journey itself? Men and women might have some different caloric and Protein needs and also based on age and current weight (example calculating protein intake based on weight)
but otherwise the weight loss journey itself is similar for everyone. Unless it's specific medical conditions for example I literally am unable to exercise without causing physical symptoms and damage. So I have to adapt how I do things. But we all still share a similar path.
I answer only because you seem to think that if someone says why, that somehow means they feel threatened or upset by your question.
In the grand scheme of things it's just not a big part of the weight loss journey. The subject isn't taboo it can be discussed any time. But doesn't play much of a role in why we are here.

Have you ever lost 21 lbs in 2 months before surgery? Probably not. So yes, it's a GREAT loss! Don't compare yourself to others. Just do what you can do. You're ROCKING it!

Hello Im a newly 31 year old lesbian married. I have a 1 year old and now 3 cats. I am still in the beginning stages of Pre-op. I have to wait until May to have surgery since UVA would like you to meet with a nutritionist once a month of 6 months

Hi!!! Whelp I put a lot in that title lol.. but I’m a black 37 year old femme lesbian, looking for friends, or who knows ! Tell me about yourself !

Congrats on your WLS journey and take good care of yourself through the holidays. This will be the best decision you could have made for your health.

I'm two weeks post-op (rny & hiatal hernia repair) and experiencing something very similar. This isn't "head hunger:" nor thirst. I both drank and did my meditation/mindfulness and this continued throughout the afternoon and evening. It's nice to know I'm not alone! I have no idea if it has to do with my cycle but it stinks. Like you, I am over sweet tasting things. Miso Soup (broth) has been the only appealing thing to me lately. Good luck, chin up and happy holidays!

I had real, legitimate hunger because I was getting hypoglycemic. I’m not diabetic, but I have PCOS so my insulin levels were too high, which would make me hypoglycemic and feel weak, shaky, and starving until I ate again. I had the same problem pre-op and naively thought the surgery would help fix it. I was started on medication which helped immensely. They gave me an appetite suppressant (phentermine), and Saxenda and metformin for the crazy insulin levels, and it made a difference in my hunger level within a day or two.

I'm almost 13 years out and have faced my fair share of regains (including 2 pregnancies along the way) but have managed to nip them in the bud in the 10-15 lb range. I honestly think regains are just part of the process and we all face them to some extent and i'm sure i'll face them again in the future, so this post is a good reminder for me as well! So here are my go to moves to get rid of regain:
My go-to moves are:
Eat Meals (don't graze) - don't skip Breakfast, even if it's small Eat Real food, not processed slider foods like chips and sweets Stop eating after dinner - get away from the kitchen after dinner. Evenings have always been my toughest time and so i make myself a cup of Decaf coffee, take it upstairs with me, and don't go back to the kitchen under any circumstances. Focus on the food, not exercise - 80%+ of weight loss comes down to food Move for Mental Health - aiming for 10K steps works for me and calms my urge to stress eat Talk to someone about mental health - overeating for me is a sure sign that's i'm heading on a downward spiral and the weigh gain and guilt and shame associated just makes it worse...see a doctor, find a medication that works for you, find your way back to a good mental health state Things i that haven't worked for me:
liquids / Protein Shakes - it's not sustainable (and really hard for even a few days...how did we do it pre- and post-op?), it makes me unbearably grouchy, and the minute i stop the weight comes back on Counting Calories - that is a trigger for me after a LIFETIME of dieting and i don't want to go there! Excessive exercise - it's too hard to outrun a bad diet with exercise and getting hurt would be a sure way to halt my progress. One more change that has truly been life altering for me is something i did after my last regain in 2018. My weight creeped up to 161lbs. That was 20lbs over my usual set point of 140lbs, which i had maintained for 10 years post-op (i'm 5'2" and started my journey at 200 lbs). It was starting to scare me and i knew i needed to do something.
I went back to all the things I listed above but i also did something i never had done before, i started eating plants for Protein. I cut out the meat first and then the dairy (which seemed overwhelming until i found all my own plant based substitutions), and i started focusing on vegetables! I didn't think about portions (after all, i'm a WLS patient, how much could i really eat) and i found myself shedding weight effortlessly!
Not only did i lose the 20 lbs i had gained, but for the first time in 12+ years post-op, i hit a new set point of about 122lbs which i've been maintaining with ease for the past year! I didn't start a diet, i didn't ever go off a diet. I just focus on plants and i feel great and have never been lighter! And i know what you're thinking...where do you get your protein??? But there is more than enough protein in plants for anyone who's at least 6 months post op! The funny thing is, i eat more than i have in years, but i finally feel like i'm living the healthy life i wanted and it's easier than i ever though it would be.
Anyway, sorry for the long post, i'm just so happy with how this has been working and i know it can work for others too! Feel free to message me if you have questions. Keep fighting the good fight!!

I feel you, and same, real hunger. One day at a time!

I won't miss needing to turn the lights off in the bedroom because I am so disgustingly fat, or strategically trying to hide my rolls in bed with sheets or pillows; or having to drink 3/4 of bottle of wine to feel comfortable about my body in bed, and then waking up sick & hungover the next day.
I won't miss having to buy new clothes every few weeks or months because none of my clothes fit again.
I won't miss having multiple size wardrobes depending for what stage of fat I am. I look forward to wearing one size for the rest of my life,
I won't miss having to wear two underwire bras at all times, because my breasts are so enormous and heavy.
I won't miss the backaches, neckaches and shoulderaches that go with enormous, fat breasts.
I won't miss not being able to wear cute, attractive clothes, and having to wear tents when I am in public.
I won't miss pretending to be sick and not going to events or parties, because I am afraid that people will see how fat I got. I will not miss the disapproving looks of my husband's family when they see my weight gain, when we fly home to see them.
I won't miss people saying that they did not recognize me (because I got so fat again - my weight fluctuates by around 100+ pounds)
I won't miss the acid reflux that was part of being fat (and hope that my sleeve does not cause it to return!)
I won't miss peeing every time I laugh/sneeze/cough. Stress incontinence is 1,000% worse for me when I am obese.
I won't miss developing herniated discs & sciatica because of the pressure of the weight on my back (I had disc surgery right before my sleeve, and hope that the weight loss helps me not reherniate)
I won't miss being exhausted all the time, and not having the energy to work out, or not being able to physically handle working out. I won't miss not being able to do active, fun things like hike, mountain bike, swim, snorkle and ski.
I won't miss getting winded after two or three stairs and having to catch my breath.
I won't miss ducking out of photos, because I don't want there to be a record of how fat I am.
I won't miss seeing my HA1C going up every time I get blood work, along with lipids, etc, and knowing I am developing diabetes and heart disease.
I won't miss my joints hurting when I walk, and waddling down the road as my thighs painfully rub together.
I know there are more thing's I won't miss about being fat, but can't think of them now!

Thank you all for your experiences and suggestions.
It is real hunger.. my tummy rumbles, I feel low and acidity rising up.
As soon as I eat something I feel much better.
I will try and monitor it further.
Proteins like egg keep me fuller too for longer but carbs don't.
I will try and avoid carbs and eat more Proteins.< br>Maybe this will make a difference.


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Hi.
I'm 5 weeks post wls now.
I feel really hungry all the time.
No matter how much Water I drink.
I won't say I can eat alot at one but I'm always hungry after few hours.
Try to keep it to 3 meals and 2 Snacks maximum.
I'm afraid I am stretching my pouch already and will never loose weight.
Anyone else had the same problem?
Plus what about carbs?
Do they make you more hungry?
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We like all kinds here {{{hugs}}}

The only one I can tolerate is splenda.

I like Splenda.

Have you tried sugar-free popsicles? They come in a variety of flavors and give you a "crunch" instead of just plain liquid. It really is head hunger. And you're thinking about missing Christmas foods, celebrations, etc. It's natural. But this too shall pass. Sugar-free Jello counts as "liquid" as does sugar-free pudding.

That is very encouraging to hear. I really look forward to a “normal” meal with my kids and my wife feeling horrible that I am eating liquids while the kids eat tacos.
My mind is definitely what is getting me most now. Without having to work or anything it’s easy to let my mind keep me from finding stuff to do.

I am so confused internally right now. I don’t know full from hungry. And after the pre-op diet I am literally traumatized from the most disgusting and vial Protein Shake, that I almost gag when drinking Protein Shakes I liked prior. The shakes was like an unbaked funfetti cake with a tub of funfetti icing and I drank it 5 days straight before I switched to the chocolate which tasted good but still hesitated before drinking each time. If I hadn’t paid 80 bucks for the 2 tubs I would have switched. But I’m to cheap for that.