You Are My Sunshine

You’re right. I do need to trust myself. I’ve done the research, asked questions and even made sure to get a physical before the surgery AND I am traveling with a family member. I got so discouraged after speaking with her and I can’t help but think and feel that this was her intention because of how she feels about the surgery. She asked if I was doing this for cosmetic reasons. Really? 🤦🏾‍♀️
I’m tired of gaining and loosing and then gaining again. I just want a new lease on life. I want to feel good and look good. I’m going through with it regardless. I do have a lot of support but I have some people who are worried and have all these bad ideas that something is going to happen to me.

Have you sought out why your Pastors wife feels uneasy? Have you had a blood workup? I would definitely go into prayer. She may feel or see something. Wishing you the best.

Yes, it's nuts. If I hadn't been referred to a janky cardiac PC last spring instead of a real doctor, I would've had the surgery last summer before any of this Covid stuff retarted. Poor quality programming by the hospital. The PC wasn't qualified and almost killed me.

I can guarantee you are not the first. If your doctor sticks his nose up in the air at you, find another--when you feel like you can.

Don't feel bad you weren't ready and what you did was the right thing for now. I wish i had have listen to my instincts.

I wish I had have had the balls to do that.

Didn't cancel cuz I didn't want to go through with it but I did cancel a week into my Pre-Op diet because I was in the middle of my semester. I realized I wouldn't be able to manage both so now finally going through the procedure in my break time.
And definitely sounds like a panic ridden cancellation. May be you can reevaluate why you wanted this procedure and what is stopping you from getting it - Like your fears and hesitations. Hope you can find a way through it and make the best possible decision for yourself.

I understand the fear. I was exploring Bariatric surgery at the suggestion of my electrophysiologist (who I love and trust — I have persistent AFIB). I met with an obesity specialist (not a surgeon) and decided I wanted to work with him during the surgery exploration/approval process to try and lose some weight beforehand. I learned from him that obesity is a disease (often inherited, up to 70%), and that it’s not our fault; it’s our biology. Learning this blew my mind. My Dr suggested I try Ozempic. I was reluctant at first bc I’m not a fan of taking medications in general unless absolutely necessarily. Ozempic was life-changing. It turned off the 24/7 hunger switch in my brain. For the first time in my life I have control over food. I feel “normal” and free. I’ve lost 75 lbs since Jan 1, 2021 (without suffering). I have another 75 lbs to lose. I’m confident I’ll lose it. I’m also working with my obesity Dr and a dietitian to learn how to permanently lead a healthier life. I love and trust my obesity Dr — I feel like he is literally saving my life. The medication is a tool just like surgery is a tool. For me, I no longer think I need the surgery. Some people need both the surgery and medication; everyone’s biology is different. But it’s good to know there are other options besides surgery for treating obesity’s dysregulated biology. I’d highly recommend seeing an obesity specialist and exploring medication options. I should add that I’m now taking Wegovy (1.7 mg) which is a higher dose version of Ozempic that was recently approved by the FDA specifically for treating obesity. I wish you all the best. 🤍

Omg I wished you posted this before my surgery on 11/8. I did a week of liver shrinking diet and loss 15 lbs. Completed all the necessary procedures too and went to my surgery appointment. However…..

I was on time but have been having second thoughts the night before and I even had a consultation with my therapist friend (free counseling session 😂) I spent at least 2 hours with my friend and talked about my reservations. She even advised me to cancel or reschedule because of my reservations. I had my consultation with my surgeon on 10/11 and the surgery date on 11/8 was offered. Off course I took it cos I’m overwhelmed but in reality I should have waited for more time but what’s my excuse? food relationship and the holiday parties and meals. However, after getting my behavioral health evaluation and preop, I was ready.

I was so happy with the result of the liver shrinking diet cos in my head look, I can do it without the surgery but I only did the diet because I have a goal date which is the surgery date. I even chatted with my parents about my decision. My dad didn’t want me to get the surgery but my mom was encouraging since she knows how many times I failed doing different diet and exercise program after program.

So, day of surgery came. I checked in 30 minutes earlier and I was sent to pre-surgery department. My check in appointment was at 9:00 and surgery at 11:00. I changed to my hospital gown and got comfortable. It’s funny that every commercial was Taco Bell. However, each time I checked the clock I was panicking inside. My surgeon and his team was late and my surgery was pushed until 1:00 PM. In my head, it’s my chance to cancel it and the universe was telling me to cancel it. I wished I listened to the voice inside me but I’m glad I didn’t. I’m glad I did the surgery because I don’t trust myself and if I canceled, I will probably go back to my unhealthy lifestyle.

Today is my day 21 post opt and I lose another 20 lbs. It’s totally life changing and tracking my intakes help. I found myself now drinking more Water a day to stay hydrated and planning more my meals. I don’t see my surgery as an excuse for weight loss but a tool to help me get back to the healthy side.

Yes I did! I cancelled in May, the day before the surgery. A few friends I had told close to the surgery date reacted much differently and I let those worries, thoughts and opinions affect my attitude and eventually my decision. I was scared and had worries I didn’t before.

The next week I was so angry at the choice I made, letting that affect my choice that I decided to reschedule and I had the surgery in June. Best decision I made.

I have gone into a panic the last few days then I read an article that you can actually live without your stomach and people who have stomach cancer do. So then I wasn’t so scared - silly I know lol

Our hospitals are still scheduling, but it's also been dicey. People are quitting, etc. and staffing is low. Weird times we are in. Frustrating, I'm sure.

I have an appointment with them next week (set up ahead of time because I wanted the support in case I needed it). I'm not sure. I mean YES... I can't believe I went through all of this only to back out when I was literally almost on the table. But also NO because of how I felt this morning. I'm going to use this time to really evaluate that.

Thank you so much! I truly appreciate your thoughtful words.
I am using this time between now and my appointment to reflect and think about everything to figure out where I need to go from here, and hopefully get some good conversation with the psych. Can't lie, though, I'm struggling a bit!

Thank you!
Still working through things, and told myself I'd call either at the end of this month or in the new year to see what I would need to do to move forward, if that's what I felt was the right move. It's hard not to think of where I'd be right now in the process, but I'm also evaluating other things. I appreciate the feedback.

Yes trying to do that. Feeling some shame, disappointment.

Well. I went through the program, got approved, got a date, did my 2 week liquid diet, took my Gatorade the night before (to kick you out of ketosis), washed with Hibiclens, got all my Proteins, packed my bag, washed with Hibiclens for the 2nd time...
And then I started to have a meltdown.
I could hardly get to the car. Finally, I got in the car, went to the hospital did (a little late to my check-in time). I went to the counter to check in and just said, "I'd like to cancel my surgery." Dude raised his eyebrows, said OK. And I left. Slammed a Protein Drink in the car, came home and had a little broth with tofu.
I'm not sure how to feel about it. I felt a wave of peace after leaving the hospital. But now I just feel kind of empty. I've been planning this for so long. I told people about it. I did everything that would indicate I was going to have it... and then I didn't.
Has anyone been on this side of things? Did you end up getting surgery later?

@shopgirl Maybe.. I was there so I figured might as well.
Fears? Complications. For sure.
Fear of getting VSG and having to revise to RNY.
Fear of something so permanent and not being able to go back. Like, if something does go wrong, I can't have a "re do."
I was panicking thinking of them sucking my stomach out through my belly.
I asked in my pre-op if I could pre-medicate and was told no, that they'd give me something in my IV. I told them I might not make it to the hospital. I wasn't joking.
My husband was concerned that they wouldn't even operate on me considering I was in a huge panic.

Well. I went through the program, got approved, got a date, did my 2 week liquid diet, took my Gatorade the night before (to kick you out of ketosis), washed with Hibiclens, got all my Proteins, packed my bag, washed with Hibiclens for the 2nd time...
And then I started to have a meltdown.
I could hardly get to the car. Finally, I got in the car, went to the hospital did (a little late to my check-in time). I went to the counter to check in and just said, "I'd like to cancel my surgery." Dude raised his eyebrows, said OK. And I left. Slammed a Protein Drink in the car, came home and had a little broth with tofu.
I'm not sure how to feel about it. I felt a wave of peace after leaving the hospital. But now I just feel kind of empty. I've been planning this for so long. I told people about it. I did everything that would indicate I was going to have it... and then I didn't.
Has anyone been on this side of things? Did you end up getting surgery later?

Thank you!
Still working through things, and told myself I'd call either at the end of this month or in the new year to see what I would need to do to move forward, if that's what I felt was the right move. It's hard not to think of where I'd be right now in the process, but I'm also evaluating other things. I appreciate the feedback.

I didn't cancel but put the brakes on things when Covid kicked in. I work in a dangerous, congregate living setting where exposure to Covid was going to be an on-going issue. It gave me a chance to fully evaluate if I was making the right decision. I felt a sense of peace giving myself more time. Eventually, I decided to move forward with surgery and am glad I did.
Respect the decision you made for yourself. It sounds like you are doing everything necessary to make a final decision whatever that may be.

Well. I went through the program, got approved, got a date, did my 2 week liquid diet, took my Gatorade the night before (to kick you out of ketosis), washed with Hibiclens, got all my Proteins, packed my bag, washed with Hibiclens for the 2nd time...
And then I started to have a meltdown.
I could hardly get to the car. Finally, I got in the car, went to the hospital did (a little late to my check-in time). I went to the counter to check in and just said, "I'd like to cancel my surgery." Dude raised his eyebrows, said OK. And I left. Slammed a Protein Drink in the car, came home and had a little broth with tofu.
I'm not sure how to feel about it. I felt a wave of peace after leaving the hospital. But now I just feel kind of empty. I've been planning this for so long. I told people about it. I did everything that would indicate I was going to have it... and then I didn't.
Has anyone been on this side of things? Did you end up getting surgery later?

Well. I went through the program, got approved, got a date, did my 2 week liquid diet, took my Gatorade the night before (to kick you out of ketosis), washed with Hibiclens, got all my Proteins, packed my bag, washed with Hibiclens for the 2nd time...
And then I started to have a meltdown.
I could hardly get to the car. Finally, I got in the car, went to the hospital did (a little late to my check-in time). I went to the counter to check in and just said, "I'd like to cancel my surgery." Dude raised his eyebrows, said OK. And I left. Slammed a Protein Drink in the car, came home and had a little broth with tofu.
I'm not sure how to feel about it. I felt a wave of peace after leaving the hospital. But now I just feel kind of empty. I've been planning this for so long. I told people about it. I did everything that would indicate I was going to have it... and then I didn't.
Has anyone been on this side of things? Did you end up getting surgery later?

I hope everything goes well next week for you I did have doubts the morning of surgery and when I got to the hospital the surgeon came and seen me and said that he needed someone else to do the surgery if he couldn't get anyone he couldn't do it so I thought if he doesn't do it I'm not coming back but he ho 10 minutes later he come back and said are you ready of course I said yep let's do it now I'm 12 weeks out and 45lbs down and glad I had it done

I have my sleeve in December but that being said I went in for my wisdom teeth to be removed 3 times and walked out all 3 times fast forward 30 years I still have my wisdom teeth lol I can tell you from my experience with that - not the same but kinda - get some therapy before you reschedule the surgery. You have something deeper you should deal with and it is okay that you walked even at the front desk. I was in the chair all three times and freaked out so don’t feel bad. But therapy helped me through it. I still have dentist that want to take out my wisdom teeth and I’m like nope I’ve had them all my life they can just stay at this point haha. Maybe the holidays coming up is part of it too. I’m having mine December 22nd and getting out of the hospital Christmas Eve. I still have 2 kids at home so I am anxious, I am pretty positive everyone is. Good luck!!