STLoser

I tell the truth. I'm a pretty open and honest person, and I don't care what they think of me. I am not a good liar and I just think for me it would be much harder to try to come up with some other story.

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Thanks for the reply STL. When I posted, I was 3 1/2 weeks out, now I'm 6 weeks out and I can definitely see things from your perspective. I was definitely overly sensitive on the night it happened, but after reading more and more about the future after surgery, I realize that myself and those around me are coming from a position of love and caring. The more I read, the more I'm starting to actually fear what happens after the "honeymoon" phase is over. When you've spent your entire life craving food all the time and you no longer do, it's amazing to not be constantly hungry...and it's hard to imagine that this feeling won't last. But then when you start reading and understanding things more clearly about the post-op journey, you realize that it's all about learning to control what and how much you eat from here on out....or things will spiral out of control. Thanks for responding.

Except the first 6 months or so post op, when the shakes were disgusting to me, I have tolerated most food really well, but I do notice that I hardly ever eat or want cheese anymore which I LOVED before surgery. It just doesn't taste as good to me now.

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I can give you my perspective as someone who went through wls two years before my husband. I try HARD not to food police him but I have at times because I have been through it and I just want him to have the easiest time and be successful. He HAS been successful. I lost 205 pounds in 2 years and he has lost that much since MAY. [emoji15]But I just want him to be healthy and I know he's in the honeymoon period still and I want him to understand that it gets much harder the farther you get, and he doesn't follow his plan by the book like I did, so I just try to prepare him for later when it gets harder.
I do tend to be pretty bossy so I try my best to never say anything to him, but when I do, it's absolutely out of love for him. I want us BOTH to never be more than 200 pounds overweight again.

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I tell the truth. I'm a pretty open and honest person, and I don't care what they think of me. I am not a good liar and I just think for me it would be much harder to try to come up with some other story.

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Maybe finding a good therapist & a dietician will help your cousin get back on track. They can be very helpful during this process - supporting her through the emotional turmoil & sorting out her dietary concerns & issues. Also speaking with her surgeon (via Skype or similar) or asking them for a referral to another surgeon close to her now may be helpful too.
There is no need to go back to the very low calorie, shake diet. This was in place for a specific period of time to support healing. Sure people lose weight on very low calorie shake diets but they are not sustainable & regain is usually inevitable. Eating in a way that was more like what she was doing when she well into her weight loss (say the 6 or 12 month mark) would be more beneficial: observing portions, Protein & fluid goals, & eating a range of vegetables, fruit, dairy, & small amounts of low processed multi/whole grains.
As @catwoman7 said a bounce back regain of 10-20lbs is very common in the 2nd/3rd years so her regain could be just that. Also I wonder if she was given reasonable expectations as to what her weight loss could be after surgery? The average weight loss after sleeve or bypass is about 65%+/- of the weight you have to lose to put you in the healthy BMI weight range. (Yes, the healthy BMI range is not always the best weight range for someone & yes, some people do exceed the average result.) She may be beating herself up with somewhat unrealistic goals ( though I understand her desire to lose more). This video may be of assistance to help your cousin look at her achievement of losing 175lbs in a different way: a success.

To be frank, eating less than before surgery is not saying a whole lot. I could eat 1/4 of what I ate pre-op and still be eating 4 times what my current portions are.
Unplanned Snacks are deadly. If your plan includes snacks then they need to be planned and tracked like everything else. My plan never included snacks.
Eating our appropriate portion size is THE key element post-op. Even in maintenance Portion Control is important to maintain and not gain.
You have the motivation.
Good luck,
Tek

You can eat more because you no longer have a Pyloric valve between your sleeve and your intestines, so your food doesn't stop in your sleeve but goes directly into your intestines. So, effective restriction is probably a bit less.
Which is why you should measure your food for each meal and stop when you complete the meal or get that no-more feeling, whichever comes first. We can't rely on just restriction to do the trick because for most people restriction declines with time.
We need to build the right habits. It's easier when restriction is tight and weight loss is some positive reinforcement. It's harder later when trying to get back on track, but it can still be done. We just need to rely on Portion Control more and the positive weight loss reinforcement takes a bit longer.
As for motivation, what was it to get surgery? Has that changed?
Good luck,
Tek

I took my kids to the Water park this weekend and we all had a great time there. Guess who was on the slides and joined them on almost all the rides. It was so much fun and my kids were super excited that daddy can finally join the fun. That on its own made the WLS and the whole journey worth it.

NSV for me is wearing these beautiful shoes for 9 hours!  

The easiest way is to tell the truth. People have their curiosity satisfied and continue to mind their own business, especially the men.

I decided quite early on just to be completely honest if asked directly. It’s made everything a lot easier really, no need to remember who I told what etc.
To be honest, not a lot of people have had the guts to really ask! I can often see people itching to ask but never offer up the information just like that. I kinda enjoy watching them squirm like that 🤣
Telling people about it has never really felt awkward to me. I don’t feel ashamed of having had WLS and I’ve gained a lot of self confidence since 💕

My Halloween costume, which I'm pretty darn thrilled about. I have always wanted a poodle skirt and I found this vintage one on ebay and I'm so excited.
I pieced the rest together with thrift store items and Amazon, and had the shoes already. I wanted saddle shoes, but they're too expensive. Lol

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We bought this house 5 years ago. Our last house I had heavily landscaped, because I was much smaller and in better shape when I bought it it in 1999. I have barely done anything to this house and probably never would have. I could barely plant a few annuals without feeling like I was gonna have a heart attack Today i landscaped the whole front yard and I wasn't winded at all. I am so happy!!!

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This is such a great outfit and I LOVE your hair!!!

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I am heading into my 13th year after VSG. I come back here from time to time, when I need to touch base with folks who "get" it. I only shared my WLS with a very very few people; and people who have met me in the last several years of course do not know.... and I do not talk diet with anyone really. I talk about being healthy, eating intuitively and things like that. I being my lunch to work and if my staff want to order in lunch - I let them pick and then I find something that I am okay with. burgers ? Fine. I don't get fries. I cut the burger in half, eat a few bites of the burger and then take it a part with a fork and leave the rest of the bread. And I have half a burger for dinner.
Coming back here from time to time allows me to re-center myself. And when it is time to lose a couple pounds or if I have lost some more, I come here and update my ticker, and this is a safe place to come back to. I too let about 40 pounds creep back on and a few years ago came back and documented my slow but sure weight loss of... now 50 plus pounds. I started 14 years ago at 320, got down to 175. went back up to 220. Now at 165. I purposely took my time to lose the weight. My goal was to lose 10 pounds a year. I lost 45 in two years, and then took another break for a couple years... have lost 10 pounds in the last 6 or 7 months. I am beyond pleased. I will be 67 in a couple months.
You can do this ! And don't beat yourself up over it. Be gentle with yourself.

I am a mental health professional. I DO therapy along with other things... I got my VSG in 2010. MY mental health appointment with a therapist was this:
Her: Oh you must be so excited, soon you will be slim like me ! But you need to save a ton a money to get plastic surgery afterwards because this *** won't pay for it.
Me: Blinking. Well, you look great; but I am about 25 years older than you, and I think our perspectives may be different.
Her: So, I went to Mexico, do you want the information ? Its like surgery and a spa. Blah blah Blah kept on talking...
Me: ( holy crap, I need this recommendation I guess I play her game ) Oh I would love that, thank you so much, so tell me about your weight loss journey because I can see how wonderful you are doing.
Her: 40 minutes of telling me all about her weight loss and dating. ( I was very newly divorced, and no she never asked).
I was terrified that she would not recommend me.... because she knew NOTHING about me at all. I called her three days later on a fishing expedition ...... and she told me she put in her recommendation for me. I waited until AFTER my surgery to send MY notes to the clinic supervisor.
DO I know that my childhood had molded my eating behaviors ? Of course. My grandmother and mother lived in Europe during the Holocaust. They managed to escape - but not before surviving on scraps of bread. Healthy meant being chubby. I had to re learn as an adult what HEALTHY was, then to connect all that and re learn so many things. Did that therapist ever know that ? of course not. she never glanced at my autobiography because if she had, it would have made it into the report. Which I requested afterwards.
It does not mean your experience will be like that. Find a good therapist. Do not rely on one session to make or break your desire to have a personal tool to help with your weight loss.

I bought this basketball jersey many months ago in a size I knew I wouldn't fit in (it's an athletic fit medium) in hopes I'd fit in it this year.
I tried it on today & it finally went on! I couldn't even get it over my shoulders when I got it

Finding my thighs don't rub. I have a knee nob, left side is hiding still. Fitting in restaurants booths easily.

No extender needed!

You guys! I just realized a NSV that I have to share!!! This is something that I've been wanting to achieve - forever (not forever, but for a little over 7 years)...
The keyboard tray on my desk is at the same height as the arms of my chair. For as long as I've had this chair/desk combo (a little over 7 years), my tummy has stuck out farther than the arms of my chair. I could squish my keyboard tray in and touch the arms of my chair, but my tummy would be touching the tray.
Today - I noticed that my tummy isn't touching the keyboard tray, but the tray is up against the arms of my chair!!!! There's only about 1/4-inch of space, but it's there!

I can relate somehow. My negative NSV is that I've lost the "padding" I used to have and now sitting for a long period of time hurts haha.

Seeing my collarbones for the first time in decades

Fitting into a seater vest my mom bought me the very first week of high school. We went to pick up my grandma right after buying it and took her to dinner; this was a few months after my grandpa passed. I was so proud in my new togs.

Wearing a suit and FINALLY understanding not everyone is uncomfortable wearing one

And this is a guy thing and TMI, but … it got bigger. Not actually, but having less fat in the pubic mound made it look bigger 😅😅😅

I struggle to call this a "victory", because I consider it a negative (Non-Scale-Negative? Non-Scale-Oops?), but I've lost all buoyancy. Was at my sister's Xmas day, and I haven't been swimming in a year. Blobbing around like a human pool float was always my jam. Nope. Not anymore! Welcome to sink-like-a-stone-town! I was treading Water in the deep end like a wind-up bath toy, mildly horrified at how hard I had to work to stay afloat.
Thus ends my confidence in the water. I may well be the adult with the pool wings next time I go to the beach. And if I do, I intend to make that fashion accessory work.
Bonus Non-Scale-Negative: I was so cold in that water my nephew remarked that my back was covered in gooseflesh. I lasted maybe five minutes before I had to get out and get warm. In Summer. In Queensland Australia. 🤦‍♀️

I received a lot of gifts cards for Christmas & they specifically noted its to buy clothes that fit, 'to help build my new wardrobe'
It confirms that other people see the progress I've made. It made me very happy 🥲