Officially Not Fatty Matty

Weird. When I was 350lbs and had big boobs no one helped me with the cat litter…. Joking aside sorry you’re dealing with that. My wife gets it too and she not only hates it but it affects her to the point of not wanting to go to certain places where it tends to happen more often (Home Depot). From a guys perspective I think most of the time we don’t know how creepy or unsettling it can make you feel. I say we because I’m a guy, not because I’ve ever done it. I’ve been too shy to say anything to anyone ever in that regard my whole life, and I’m ok with that. Hell I don’t even make eye contact with strangers in public.

First…. I 100% support YOUR decision to tell people about your surgery or not. I am in no way saying you should or should not….
I recently went on a trip and on this trip I had to show my old ID a few times. When I applied to TSA PreCheck I got a triple take when they looked at my passport photo vs the new me… so I explained… then on the trip I just decided to preemptively say “yeah I’ve lost a lot of weight since then” when they looked at my ID. Twice I had the person (quietly) ask “mind if I ask how? It’s none of my business I’m just wondering.” Both times I told them the truth, both times they said they’ve been thinking about it. Both times they smiled when I told them how stupidly amazing I feel and how I wish I had done this sooner. Both times we held up the line entirely too long while they and I both opened up about our weight issues and weight wishes. They were great moments and they wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t open up to them.
My wife does not want me to share my story with her side of the family and I’ve respected her wishes in that regard. I don’t personally care if they know but she has her reasons and that’s good enough for me. I totally understand that someone you know and will see repeatedly is an entirely different story….
But a stranger I’ll never see again? Someone who is like I was and clearly is looking for help? I’ll never lie to them. They deserve to know that traditional diets are damn hard if not impossible for most of us. I feel like it would make them feel worse about their own diet failures and their self esteem if I lied about how I did what I did. I’ll share my story with anyone going forward with joy, because I’m so happy about it and I want them to feel this way too. I gave both of those people info on this forum and my username. If you’re here reading this now, welcome. I’m glad you made the effort. Please don’t feel the need to introduce yourself just yet. Read, absorb, self reflect. But welcome nonetheless. I’m happy that you’re here.

Weird. When I was 350lbs and had big boobs no one helped me with the cat litter…. Joking aside sorry you’re dealing with that. My wife gets it too and she not only hates it but it affects her to the point of not wanting to go to certain places where it tends to happen more often (Home Depot). From a guys perspective I think most of the time we don’t know how creepy or unsettling it can make you feel. I say we because I’m a guy, not because I’ve ever done it. I’ve been too shy to say anything to anyone ever in that regard my whole life, and I’m ok with that. Hell I don’t even make eye contact with strangers in public.

Weird. When I was 350lbs and had big boobs no one helped me with the cat litter…. Joking aside sorry you’re dealing with that. My wife gets it too and she not only hates it but it affects her to the point of not wanting to go to certain places where it tends to happen more often (Home Depot). From a guys perspective I think most of the time we don’t know how creepy or unsettling it can make you feel. I say we because I’m a guy, not because I’ve ever done it. I’ve been too shy to say anything to anyone ever in that regard my whole life, and I’m ok with that. Hell I don’t even make eye contact with strangers in public.

Weird. When I was 350lbs and had big boobs no one helped me with the cat litter…. Joking aside sorry you’re dealing with that. My wife gets it too and she not only hates it but it affects her to the point of not wanting to go to certain places where it tends to happen more often (Home Depot). From a guys perspective I think most of the time we don’t know how creepy or unsettling it can make you feel. I say we because I’m a guy, not because I’ve ever done it. I’ve been too shy to say anything to anyone ever in that regard my whole life, and I’m ok with that. Hell I don’t even make eye contact with strangers in public.

First…. I 100% support YOUR decision to tell people about your surgery or not. I am in no way saying you should or should not….
I recently went on a trip and on this trip I had to show my old ID a few times. When I applied to TSA PreCheck I got a triple take when they looked at my passport photo vs the new me… so I explained… then on the trip I just decided to preemptively say “yeah I’ve lost a lot of weight since then” when they looked at my ID. Twice I had the person (quietly) ask “mind if I ask how? It’s none of my business I’m just wondering.” Both times I told them the truth, both times they said they’ve been thinking about it. Both times they smiled when I told them how stupidly amazing I feel and how I wish I had done this sooner. Both times we held up the line entirely too long while they and I both opened up about our weight issues and weight wishes. They were great moments and they wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t open up to them.
My wife does not want me to share my story with her side of the family and I’ve respected her wishes in that regard. I don’t personally care if they know but she has her reasons and that’s good enough for me. I totally understand that someone you know and will see repeatedly is an entirely different story….
But a stranger I’ll never see again? Someone who is like I was and clearly is looking for help? I’ll never lie to them. They deserve to know that traditional diets are damn hard if not impossible for most of us. I feel like it would make them feel worse about their own diet failures and their self esteem if I lied about how I did what I did. I’ll share my story with anyone going forward with joy, because I’m so happy about it and I want them to feel this way too. I gave both of those people info on this forum and my username. If you’re here reading this now, welcome. I’m glad you made the effort. Please don’t feel the need to introduce yourself just yet. Read, absorb, self reflect. But welcome nonetheless. I’m happy that you’re here.

We are caring for my elderly father in law (who had a sleeve like 15 years ago, so…. relevant!) and it’s like wipe his butt/can’t get out of bed care… anyway yesterday was the first time my wife left me alone to handle it all, plus the business plus the kids. Plus the fridge we ordered when we converted our garage into an apartment for him (his wife/caregiver passed away this past spring) hasn’t worked since we had it delivered three weeks and Home Depot and Frigidaire are both refusing to take responsibility and a second service call yesterday yielded no results…. Uhg to say I was freaking the hell out is an understatement. See? I share too much with strangers… 😂 new day. Ready to crush it. I also ate too many m&ms yesterday. Overslept, gotta take kids to school. How the hell does she do this every day. I love her and miss her and I’m still embarrassed about being rude. Where is my toothbrush.

First…. I 100% support YOUR decision to tell people about your surgery or not. I am in no way saying you should or should not….
I recently went on a trip and on this trip I had to show my old ID a few times. When I applied to TSA PreCheck I got a triple take when they looked at my passport photo vs the new me… so I explained… then on the trip I just decided to preemptively say “yeah I’ve lost a lot of weight since then” when they looked at my ID. Twice I had the person (quietly) ask “mind if I ask how? It’s none of my business I’m just wondering.” Both times I told them the truth, both times they said they’ve been thinking about it. Both times they smiled when I told them how stupidly amazing I feel and how I wish I had done this sooner. Both times we held up the line entirely too long while they and I both opened up about our weight issues and weight wishes. They were great moments and they wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t open up to them.
My wife does not want me to share my story with her side of the family and I’ve respected her wishes in that regard. I don’t personally care if they know but she has her reasons and that’s good enough for me. I totally understand that someone you know and will see repeatedly is an entirely different story….
But a stranger I’ll never see again? Someone who is like I was and clearly is looking for help? I’ll never lie to them. They deserve to know that traditional diets are damn hard if not impossible for most of us. I feel like it would make them feel worse about their own diet failures and their self esteem if I lied about how I did what I did. I’ll share my story with anyone going forward with joy, because I’m so happy about it and I want them to feel this way too. I gave both of those people info on this forum and my username. If you’re here reading this now, welcome. I’m glad you made the effort. Please don’t feel the need to introduce yourself just yet. Read, absorb, self reflect. But welcome nonetheless. I’m happy that you’re here.

We are caring for my elderly father in law (who had a sleeve like 15 years ago, so…. relevant!) and it’s like wipe his butt/can’t get out of bed care… anyway yesterday was the first time my wife left me alone to handle it all, plus the business plus the kids. Plus the fridge we ordered when we converted our garage into an apartment for him (his wife/caregiver passed away this past spring) hasn’t worked since we had it delivered three weeks and Home Depot and Frigidaire are both refusing to take responsibility and a second service call yesterday yielded no results…. Uhg to say I was freaking the hell out is an understatement. See? I share too much with strangers… 😂 new day. Ready to crush it. I also ate too many m&ms yesterday. Overslept, gotta take kids to school. How the hell does she do this every day. I love her and miss her and I’m still embarrassed about being rude. Where is my toothbrush.

We are caring for my elderly father in law (who had a sleeve like 15 years ago, so…. relevant!) and it’s like wipe his butt/can’t get out of bed care… anyway yesterday was the first time my wife left me alone to handle it all, plus the business plus the kids. Plus the fridge we ordered when we converted our garage into an apartment for him (his wife/caregiver passed away this past spring) hasn’t worked since we had it delivered three weeks and Home Depot and Frigidaire are both refusing to take responsibility and a second service call yesterday yielded no results…. Uhg to say I was freaking the hell out is an understatement. See? I share too much with strangers… 😂 new day. Ready to crush it. I also ate too many m&ms yesterday. Overslept, gotta take kids to school. How the hell does she do this every day. I love her and miss her and I’m still embarrassed about being rude. Where is my toothbrush.

Sorry for my grumpy post. I have no valid excuse just a very bad day etc. I’ll leave it so I can remind myself of how I can act if I don’t think and instead react. I apologize futureselyph, your points are valid.

We are caring for my elderly father in law (who had a sleeve like 15 years ago, so…. relevant!) and it’s like wipe his butt/can’t get out of bed care… anyway yesterday was the first time my wife left me alone to handle it all, plus the business plus the kids. Plus the fridge we ordered when we converted our garage into an apartment for him (his wife/caregiver passed away this past spring) hasn’t worked since we had it delivered three weeks and Home Depot and Frigidaire are both refusing to take responsibility and a second service call yesterday yielded no results…. Uhg to say I was freaking the hell out is an understatement. See? I share too much with strangers… 😂 new day. Ready to crush it. I also ate too many m&ms yesterday. Overslept, gotta take kids to school. How the hell does she do this every day. I love her and miss her and I’m still embarrassed about being rude. Where is my toothbrush.

We are caring for my elderly father in law (who had a sleeve like 15 years ago, so…. relevant!) and it’s like wipe his butt/can’t get out of bed care… anyway yesterday was the first time my wife left me alone to handle it all, plus the business plus the kids. Plus the fridge we ordered when we converted our garage into an apartment for him (his wife/caregiver passed away this past spring) hasn’t worked since we had it delivered three weeks and Home Depot and Frigidaire are both refusing to take responsibility and a second service call yesterday yielded no results…. Uhg to say I was freaking the hell out is an understatement. See? I share too much with strangers… 😂 new day. Ready to crush it. I also ate too many m&ms yesterday. Overslept, gotta take kids to school. How the hell does she do this every day. I love her and miss her and I’m still embarrassed about being rude. Where is my toothbrush.

Nope, not your fault at all :) I reread it and understand what you’re saying, and even agree. Sorries all come from this side of the interwebs. I try to be a positive person all the time but the reality is I’m not, and it skips out sometimes. But…… to put the past behind us now… I do agree that “not interested in discussing my private affairs” is a good response too. It’s not for me. The one thing about lying that really bothers me…. My wife’s brother is large. It’s her side she wishes not know and so I stuck to the half truth of “protein shakes and exercise” and where the pain comes in is when he confides in me that he’s trying but just can’t stick to it long enough to make a difference. That was me until I had surgery so I know what he’s feeling and I feel like my half truth (lie by omission) is hurting him. I don’t want to break my promise to my wife, that comes first. But it was that feeling of putting this man in a position of feeling like he failed (again) when I didn’t (because my stomach was removed) is what really made me want to be open with strangers who happen to ask (and that’s a rare occasion since they don’t know what I looked like unless they see my id. It felt GOOD to give them hope and it felt better for me to be able to give that to them.

We are caring for my elderly father in law (who had a sleeve like 15 years ago, so…. relevant!) and it’s like wipe his butt/can’t get out of bed care… anyway yesterday was the first time my wife left me alone to handle it all, plus the business plus the kids. Plus the fridge we ordered when we converted our garage into an apartment for him (his wife/caregiver passed away this past spring) hasn’t worked since we had it delivered three weeks and Home Depot and Frigidaire are both refusing to take responsibility and a second service call yesterday yielded no results…. Uhg to say I was freaking the hell out is an understatement. See? I share too much with strangers… 😂 new day. Ready to crush it. I also ate too many m&ms yesterday. Overslept, gotta take kids to school. How the hell does she do this every day. I love her and miss her and I’m still embarrassed about being rude. Where is my toothbrush.

My biggest legitimate fear going into surgery was drinking fluids. I was a chugger and I drink in my sleep (as in I don’t recall waking up but my Water jug will be empty when I wake up). Ever since I was a child I’ve always HAD to have a large source of water on my night stand or I can’t even fall asleep… obviously it’s a mental issue but whatever. I still remember my mom’s fugly green water pitcher I used to use as a child… and if I’m in a hotel and forget to bring a jug of water I have to fill the ice bucket with sink water just to fall asleep (yeah I wash it out first), that’s how bad my neurosis is. Anyhow fast forward to now and it’s probably the one negative thing I’ve dealt with post op. As mentioned, you’re not going to stretch anything with fluids, they pass through fast and it isn’t going to block anything while the stomach processes it but it isn’t instantaneous. Lately I’ve been drinking too heavily in my sleep again, it just started a couple weeks ago. Ive “vurped” a few times recently and last night I threw up from it… and THAT wakes me up (thankfully). When awake I count my baby sips, I know exactly what I’m able to take in, and you’ll learn the same thing about yourself. I can feel my stomach empty and take another set of sips just a few minutes later if I’m sweating heavily or just extra thirsty. Like a lot of this, it’s a learning process. Trust your instincts and adjust as needed and before you know it you’ll discover your new normal.

Sorry for my grumpy post. I have no valid excuse just a very bad day etc. I’ll leave it so I can remind myself of how I can act if I don’t think and instead react. I apologize futureselyph, your points are valid.

I “like” eating junk too. I have a party sized bag of peanut m&ms just sitting here. Over the course of a day I’ll probably have a handful. In the past I could mow through that whole bag in a day (yeah I know). My wife is concerned every time the scale drops a pound now and though I feel like I probably have another 15-20lbs I could lose she (and my mom uhg) are worried I’m too skinny (I’m not, 192 @ 6’4” is at the top of the healthy BMI range (BMI is garbage but I agree with it in this circumstance just by looking at me (I need to chill with parentheticals))) so they are keeping me fed… but you’re right, it’s very very empowering to look at a sleeve of Oreos and have two (gotta take off one cookie top each and smoosh two double stuffs together for a quad stuff…. I’m not Amish) and be happy with that.

First…. I 100% support YOUR decision to tell people about your surgery or not. I am in no way saying you should or should not….
I recently went on a trip and on this trip I had to show my old ID a few times. When I applied to TSA PreCheck I got a triple take when they looked at my passport photo vs the new me… so I explained… then on the trip I just decided to preemptively say “yeah I’ve lost a lot of weight since then” when they looked at my ID. Twice I had the person (quietly) ask “mind if I ask how? It’s none of my business I’m just wondering.” Both times I told them the truth, both times they said they’ve been thinking about it. Both times they smiled when I told them how stupidly amazing I feel and how I wish I had done this sooner. Both times we held up the line entirely too long while they and I both opened up about our weight issues and weight wishes. They were great moments and they wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t open up to them.
My wife does not want me to share my story with her side of the family and I’ve respected her wishes in that regard. I don’t personally care if they know but she has her reasons and that’s good enough for me. I totally understand that someone you know and will see repeatedly is an entirely different story….
But a stranger I’ll never see again? Someone who is like I was and clearly is looking for help? I’ll never lie to them. They deserve to know that traditional diets are damn hard if not impossible for most of us. I feel like it would make them feel worse about their own diet failures and their self esteem if I lied about how I did what I did. I’ll share my story with anyone going forward with joy, because I’m so happy about it and I want them to feel this way too. I gave both of those people info on this forum and my username. If you’re here reading this now, welcome. I’m glad you made the effort. Please don’t feel the need to introduce yourself just yet. Read, absorb, self reflect. But welcome nonetheless. I’m happy that you’re here.

I wouldn’t ask for input from only people who had regrets and/or canceled, because… well that’s all you’re going to hear about and you’ll definitely not go through with it (which is fine, it’s your choice of course).
I’d ask “can everyone here who is at least a year post op give me a “would do it again” or “would not do it again” please”
This forum is a great place. It really is. There are tons of helpful people, funny people, honest people. The downside to a forum like this is it’s much more common for someone who is having a problem to post a question looking for help or advice or just to vent. It vastly skews the perception of the number and severity of problems. The reality is for most people surgery works and works well at achieving sustained weight loss. Very few people statistically have what I would call a major complication. When compared to the statistics of complications (or co-morbidities) of being obese, it’s not even a fair contest.
You are not alone in having worries and doubts though, not by a long shot. I had them too, many of us did. But I didn’t cancel and I most definitely do NOT regret having surgery. It was probably the best true free will choice I’ve ever made in my life… no, it definitely was. Being a guy who doesn’t care about his hair, I can’t share my advice about Hair loss. It’s a thing that can happen. It didn’t happen to me, but again I wouldn’t have cared if I lost all my hair, I’d have done this again without a second thought. In fact, I would go so far as to say that… based on how GREAT I feel today, even if I had a major complication that required hospitalization post op, I would still go through with it knowing what I know now. I wish I did this years ago, but I didn’t. I feel like I lost some of the best years with myself, my kids, just in general…

The following is a cheeze-ball comment but it’s true….
This new me… this is the me that was hiding inside a fat suit almost all of my life… sad, pretty lonely, afraid to come out and just enjoy life like I am now. I wish I met him when I was younger. I wish I was strong enough to do this on my own at a much younger age, but in the end I don’t care how this new me got here… I’m here and I’m not going back inside that fat suit ever again. I am 46 and feel like I’m about to turn 27.
I wish you the best, no matter what you decide. But don’t only look for the negatives, because that’s what you’ll find. There’s a lot of us “hell yah I’d do this again!!” people out there, we’re just quiet about it in general compared to the people who do really need help getting through a tough spot.

First…. I 100% support YOUR decision to tell people about your surgery or not. I am in no way saying you should or should not….
I recently went on a trip and on this trip I had to show my old ID a few times. When I applied to TSA PreCheck I got a triple take when they looked at my passport photo vs the new me… so I explained… then on the trip I just decided to preemptively say “yeah I’ve lost a lot of weight since then” when they looked at my ID. Twice I had the person (quietly) ask “mind if I ask how? It’s none of my business I’m just wondering.” Both times I told them the truth, both times they said they’ve been thinking about it. Both times they smiled when I told them how stupidly amazing I feel and how I wish I had done this sooner. Both times we held up the line entirely too long while they and I both opened up about our weight issues and weight wishes. They were great moments and they wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t open up to them.
My wife does not want me to share my story with her side of the family and I’ve respected her wishes in that regard. I don’t personally care if they know but she has her reasons and that’s good enough for me. I totally understand that someone you know and will see repeatedly is an entirely different story….
But a stranger I’ll never see again? Someone who is like I was and clearly is looking for help? I’ll never lie to them. They deserve to know that traditional diets are damn hard if not impossible for most of us. I feel like it would make them feel worse about their own diet failures and their self esteem if I lied about how I did what I did. I’ll share my story with anyone going forward with joy, because I’m so happy about it and I want them to feel this way too. I gave both of those people info on this forum and my username. If you’re here reading this now, welcome. I’m glad you made the effort. Please don’t feel the need to introduce yourself just yet. Read, absorb, self reflect. But welcome nonetheless. I’m happy that you’re here.

Oddly enough I also never lie to strangers or casual acquaintances. It feels very low risk for me.

However the people I interact with often or know well is another story. I’ve learned to read the room.
If someone earnestly/ privately asks I usually just tell them. They are also so happy to see someone in person that is happy with the their results and doing well/not struggling.
But I’ve also had experiences where people very publicly/ loudly (nearly shouting across a room) ask how I lost weight. These interactions feel disingenuous and shaming so I don’t take them seriously. I usually tell these people the most complex set of layered diets and activities (Keto, fasting, glucose monitoring, cheat days, mercury retrograde, belly dancing, etc.) in great detail until they are satisfied. Those people can speculate but will never get the (whole) truth from me.
BTW Congratulations on your success!

First…. I 100% support YOUR decision to tell people about your surgery or not. I am in no way saying you should or should not….
I recently went on a trip and on this trip I had to show my old ID a few times. When I applied to TSA PreCheck I got a triple take when they looked at my passport photo vs the new me… so I explained… then on the trip I just decided to preemptively say “yeah I’ve lost a lot of weight since then” when they looked at my ID. Twice I had the person (quietly) ask “mind if I ask how? It’s none of my business I’m just wondering.” Both times I told them the truth, both times they said they’ve been thinking about it. Both times they smiled when I told them how stupidly amazing I feel and how I wish I had done this sooner. Both times we held up the line entirely too long while they and I both opened up about our weight issues and weight wishes. They were great moments and they wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t open up to them.
My wife does not want me to share my story with her side of the family and I’ve respected her wishes in that regard. I don’t personally care if they know but she has her reasons and that’s good enough for me. I totally understand that someone you know and will see repeatedly is an entirely different story….
But a stranger I’ll never see again? Someone who is like I was and clearly is looking for help? I’ll never lie to them. They deserve to know that traditional diets are damn hard if not impossible for most of us. I feel like it would make them feel worse about their own diet failures and their self esteem if I lied about how I did what I did. I’ll share my story with anyone going forward with joy, because I’m so happy about it and I want them to feel this way too. I gave both of those people info on this forum and my username. If you’re here reading this now, welcome. I’m glad you made the effort. Please don’t feel the need to introduce yourself just yet. Read, absorb, self reflect. But welcome nonetheless. I’m happy that you’re here.

Yah that’s garbage (the doctor’s behavior not your note, the note is well deserved). I’d have him put all that in writing and forward that to your governing medical board for review. At the very least if he has a pattern of this kind of behavior your report will help others who have reported similar.

Yah that’s garbage (the doctor’s behavior not your note, the note is well deserved). I’d have him put all that in writing and forward that to your governing medical board for review. At the very least if he has a pattern of this kind of behavior your report will help others who have reported similar.