Officially Not Fatty Matty

I’m 6’4” and my highest known weight was 356 (but likely higher as I didn’t weigh often). Like you I was pretty active and my daily calorie count was high. I never counted (still don’t) but an honest assessment of my past puts me around 4-6000 calories a day! I would eat huge meals. Despite that insane guess, I put weight on slowly over the years, averaging 4lbs a year… it’s not a fair estimate because some years I would lose 30 then put 40 on etc. but overall average of 4lbs since I turned 18 (I was 45 when I had surgery). Fast forward 18 months post op and I’m not able to enter maintenance. I’m trying so hard to not lose more weight. I set a goal of 240, blew past that then thought “ok 220 would be good” and blew past that. I’m down to 182 now, my wife and mom (they never stop being moms do they?) are worried - and have been since I broke below 200 in April. Anyway, for the first six months I survived on about 500cal a day. I should say thrived. I had zero problems with that low of a calorie count. I was more active than ever, still am. I feel healthier than I was when I was 16, seriously. The hard part for me was remembering to eat. The day would go by and I would realize I only had my protein shake in the morning. I’m still not hungry, and I know I’m in the minority for going this long without feeling any hunger. I literally eat 1000 calories of peanut m&ms a day. Literally. And I’m still losing. I know it’s probably the least healthy thing I could eat but they are small and pocketable and I like them enough where I don’t get bored of them. I simply don’t have the capacity to eat enough “healthy” meals to make up the difference. I do get regular blood work done and everything is perfectly in the middle of where it should be, vitamin levels are good as well. I’d say I’m close to maintaining, I’ve been between 190 and 182 for about six months but it’s still trending ever so slightly down. I guess what all this rambling is getting at is this: you sound a lot like me. If you are the type of person that can drop weight fast on a diet you’re likely to be wildly successful with the weight loss portion of this endeavor. Everything else is up in the air and seems to be variable for everyone. For me I have had no complications, no foods bother me, nothing tastes different (I hoped it would but it didn’t), I can and do eat whatever I want, but my restriction is so good (and it does feel good) that it still takes me two days to eat a burger, or four days to eat a chipotle burrito (and I don’t even finish it). I don’t have a problem being around food or seeing people eat. My whole relationship with food is completely different. I see it as an inconvenience, but I still enjoy good food and I seek out new and exotic things for fun, I just know I’m taking home 90% of what I order most of the time. My only complaint is my wife and mom think I’m too skinny, which is just an opinion, my doctors are thrilled with my weight and all associated / tested statistics, and as I said I feel absolutely amazing. I feel like I have another 10-15lbs to lose but I’m riding the struggle bus to keep that from happening for the benefit of others. 5000 calories? I’m disgusted with that person. 1500 - 2000 a day give or take is plenty 18 months out and I had nooo problem living on half that for the first year. This was - by far - the best money I’ve ever spent on myself. I’ve easily saved more than my surgery cost ($4400 in Mexico) and I have only great things to say about every aspect of it. I wish it was this easy for everyone. My wife had it done too but she has lost nothing at this point. She eats less than I do, but she never lost when dieting before so we should have known a smaller stomach wouldn’t have helped. I don’t think she needs to lose weight anyway, she’s perfect. But my opinion doesn’t count in her mind :) she has some underlying heath issues we’re working through which we believe contributes to her crazy slow metabolic rate. So I see and live with both sides of how surgery works and doesn’t work for some (if you’re a slow “loser” reading this and you’re on plan and doing everything you should, I BELIEVE YOU, even though everyone assumes you’re not on plan. I know how hard it is for you, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Don’t give up, find a doctor that listens to you and believes you too and start looking for why, and stop going to doctors that don’t listen. Don’t let them give you self doubts (end tangent)). Best of luck to you. I wish you the best.

Epsom salt has never let me down. Don’t plan on leaving the house for 24 hours until you know how long it lasts for you though (not kidding). But it starts quick, usually less than 30 minutes for me. I do 2 - 3 table spoons with about 12oz hot water, but read the label (usually suggests between 2-6 TEAspoons). It tastes horrible, but it’ll empty you out. Drink lots of water after, you’ll see why.

Always listen to your doctor, as they will have a better understanding of your specific circumstances than any of us. That being said I was drinking coffee based protein shakes on day 2, real coffee perhaps day 7? Just a guess there but it definitely wasn’t long. I had no negative consequences and drink more coffee now (16 months post op) than I ever have. I find it beneficial to keep my stomach full of zero calorie liquids (coffee and zero calorie soda) as it prevents me from the occasional fridge grazing.

Welcome to the club! It’s an exciting time for sure and you will have plenty more questions, so don’t ever be shy or apologize, we live for these kind of posts :) Meds: with a sleeve you’ll be fine. Some doctors will say crush it early on, many of us are given pills (antibiotics or nausea or acid reducers or all) right in the hospital, so it is my personal belief that any doctor that says no pills for X days is just being extra cautious - not that there’s anything wrong with that. NSAIDS…. Geeze you’re trying to start a fight aren’t you? Lol it’s ok. There is definite reasons to limit nsaids as much as possible but the occasional one likely will be fine. Use acetaminophen when possible. Many of the other questions will be difficult to answer accurately. Recovery time does vary. I would have been capable of any of those just a day or two post op, some people need a couple weeks. It also depends on your current physical condition, if any of those things are already difficult for you now, it will not be easier so soon post-op. I would aim for 3-4 weeks for the bike just to be safe. Wait until you lose weight and you have that “ahahahah!!!” moment where you realize how much easier wiping is in general. I can reach all sorts of places I couldn’t before :) oh… showering. They had me shower in the hospital the next morning. I had bandages on the small incisions and it wasn’t a problem. Their requirement was no submersion (pool, tub, etc) for four weeks for me. Keep asking! And again, welcome, it’s an exciting time and we all are wishing you the best, fast and easy recovery and weight loss.

Thank you for this. It’s a rare treat to read about it from a guys perspective… not that there’s any less valuable info on the women who have it but… well you get it. I’m thinking about it myself. I don’t have a ton of loose skin but I’d be way happier if the loose bag of fat I still have was gone. When I pull it up Im much happier with the appearance, and the saggy fupa is gone so bonus down “there” too. The only bad thing I have experienced is sometimes when I sleep skin will fold over and it feels like a blanket is trapped under me…. But it’s skin. So I doubt insurance will pay but I’m ready to make a second trip to Mexico where I had my sleeve in the first place. Not worried about pain, just the scars tbh. Thank you and I look forward to pics when/if you’re ready. Continued success my friend.

That hunger can also be pain from the long cut as it heals. When your stomach empties it contracts just like it did before and if those nerves are still tender it can hurt and that pain (for most people at least) is indistinguishable from hunger pangs. Filling the pouch stops those contractions and the pain can stop. Conversely you might be one of the people where hunger never goes away. But at three weeks don’t assume the worst, it still can get better.

Tell them you’ll compare your weight loss to theirs and when they say “zero” yell “divide by zero error!!!” and run off.

I naturally fluctuate between 189 and 196 lbs and I can make that full swing in a day or two. I entered maintenance around the ten month mark as well (at the request of my wife and mom despite the fact I know I have around 10-20lbs to go) but changes in my diet, and particularly water intake/output (sweating or urine frequency) can really change the scales quite a bit. Small regain is typical though as our bodies adjust. Keep an eye on it, if it’s constantly going up slowly you’ll want to consider making adjustments to calories or exercise as needed. Maintenance is a tightrope and it’s so far from our previous “normal” it can be hard to find that perfect balance right away… just be mindful and open to the idea that you may have to keep making small changes until you reach your happy middle ground. Congratulations on your success already though, it’s a great accomplishment!

YESSS I WAS WAITING FOR THIS THREAD!! lol I’m kidding but this whole notion of no straws drives me absolutely bonkers. most of this I’ve said before (like 94% of my posts) but…. Your stomach doesn’t suck (as in create a vacuum). Your mouth creates the negative pressure needed to draw fluid up a straw. Your stomach doesn’t have anything to do with it. You can prove this very simply (and don’t worry, you’re not even going to swallow the water in this exercise). Take a sip of water from a cup. Don’t swallow it. Just let it sit there. There is now water on the bottom of your mouth and some air up top (even if you try to void all the air out there is still some there). Now spit the water out. Now take a similar amount of water into your mouth via a straw, and again don’t swallow. Just let it sit there… is it really any different than the water you took in via a cup? You can still void out most of the air in your mouth like before. Now spit it out. At no point was your stomach involved in this. Yet we find countless examples online of experts saying things about straws and swallowing air. What actually matters is how you swallow and this applies to eating and drinking (with or without straws). Drinking or eating too fast is the most common reason for swallowing too much air.. we’ve all done it, gulping drinks or wolfing down food… but you can control that independently of whatever utensil or device you use to put stuff in your mouth. That’s what doctors should be telling us (and in fairness most do). Slow it down, take our time, chew food thoroughly, have purpose to our eating and drinking etc… and with those behaviors the amount of air we swallow will naturally be reduced (reduced not eliminated).

Also regarding acidity of coffee/other drinks… the ph of coffee is somewhere between 4-5 (7 is neutral water, higher numbers are alkaline like baking soda, lye etc). Your stomach produces hydrochloric acid (seriously, the stuff you use to etch concrete) and has a ph of about 1-2. Just for laughs let’s take the average of the stomach (1.5) and the average of coffee (4.5). Every one point on the ph scale is 10 times stronger (or weaker) than the next which means the acid in your stomach is literally 1000 times stronger than the acid in the coffee. it’s not the acidity of coffee that is the problem, it actually dilutes whatever acid is in your stomach….. BUT….. and this is where some people have issues (valid issues)… caffeine can stimulate the secretion of more hydrochloric acid than normal. All foods do this to a certain extent, it’s how our stomach works to break down food and it’s necessary. So yes, there are people who can’t have caffeine without troubling side effects. Most people can. Trying it and seeing how it affects you post op is really the only way you’ll know which category you’ll find yourself in.

I drink coffee without issue, have since day two if you count the cafe mocha protein drinks, probably day three of real coffee. There are some doctors (in all specialties) who give the absolute safest/healthiest/trendiest advice just because that’s what they do. The reality is caffeine isn’t needed by the body. Any research or study that even remotely indicates a negative association will cause some doctors to put (insert food/drink item here) on their prohibition list just because… it’s like a mechanic who says “get your oil changed every 5000 miles without exception” because technically it is the best/safest advice vs the mechanic who says “it’s honestly fine if you go over a little, just don’t go crazy and get it taken care of soon.” The first is covering his butt so the one in a million customer that has their engine blow up at 5001 miles past the last oil change doesn’t blow a gasket (hah!) and blame them even though it’s not likely connected vs the second who understands the realities of the situation and gives practical honest advise that is more compliant with the busy lives of the vast majority of people. Many doctors are VERY risk averse due to malpractice lawsuits, some are just exceptionally health conscious on behalf of their patients to the point of being unrealistic, some even misunderstand physics and how the body works (straw prohibition!! Grrrrrr!!). The real real answer? You’ll almost certainly be absolutely fine drinking coffee. There is a chance you won’t. There is a chance caffeine will cause you health concerns down the road. There is a chance it won’t. Your body doesn’t need it, but you may want it and that’s ok. Me? Sipping my coffee as I type this long ramble of a mess of a post.

I had zero change in actual taste. Tbh I was looking forward to it and thought it would be an aid in my new life, so I was initially disappointed.. but while my taste buds haven’t changed, my tastes (as in what I choose to like/dislike) has.

Carbonation and straws are two (of many) things you’ll hear both sides about here. Generic answer: follow your surgeon/doctor. I drink a LOT of zero calorie carbonated drinks, have since about week four and haven’t had a single issue. The stomach stretching thing doesn’t make sense to me because the liquid and gas are both fluids and as anyone here will tell you fluids pretty much just pass through your empty stomach unobstructed (and I never feel any more or less “full” from carbonated drinks as I do from non-carbonated).. I’d say be extra careful if you’ve eaten in the past hour though.. but I down several cans of stuff a day and after 15 months my capacity is still the same as it was at week 15: one egg fills me up two makes me feel like I gorged myself. Don’t even get me started on the no straws thing…

Also the famous three week stall (not always right at three weeks), glycogen storage (needs lots of Water for the body to store it)… if the scale fluctuations bother you there are a few options… one, just weigh once a week. Do it after your morning bathroom routine so it’s consistent with your daily pattern.. two: if you want to weigh each day take today’s weight and subtract it from your weight seven days prior. This will give you a rolling average of your weekly loss, it’s handy for spotting true stalls / slow downs etc.

Yes! Absolutely. You should be drinking 4lbs/2kg of water at a minimum each day. That alone coupled with urination/defecation frequency, food intake, water retention (different than water intake) can very easily account for several pounds up or down each day depending on when you weigh.

First…. I 100% support YOUR decision to tell people about your surgery or not. I am in no way saying you should or should not…. I recently went on a trip and on this trip I had to show my old ID a few times. When I applied to TSA PreCheck I got a triple take when they looked at my passport photo vs the new me… so I explained… then on the trip I just decided to preemptively say “yeah I’ve lost a lot of weight since then” when they looked at my ID. Twice I had the person (quietly) ask “mind if I ask how? It’s none of my business I’m just wondering.” Both times I told them the truth, both times they said they’ve been thinking about it. Both times they smiled when I told them how stupidly amazing I feel and how I wish I had done this sooner. Both times we held up the line entirely too long while they and I both opened up about our weight issues and weight wishes. They were great moments and they wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t open up to them. My wife does not want me to share my story with her side of the family and I’ve respected her wishes in that regard. I don’t personally care if they know but she has her reasons and that’s good enough for me. I totally understand that someone you know and will see repeatedly is an entirely different story…. But a stranger I’ll never see again? Someone who is like I was and clearly is looking for help? I’ll never lie to them. They deserve to know that traditional diets are damn hard if not impossible for most of us. I feel like it would make them feel worse about their own diet failures and their self esteem if I lied about how I did what I did. I’ll share my story with anyone going forward with joy, because I’m so happy about it and I want them to feel this way too. I gave both of those people info on this forum and my username. If you’re here reading this now, welcome. I’m glad you made the effort. Please don’t feel the need to introduce yourself just yet. Read, absorb, self reflect. But welcome nonetheless. I’m happy that you’re here.

Weird. When I was 350lbs and had big boobs no one helped me with the cat litter…. Joking aside sorry you’re dealing with that. My wife gets it too and she not only hates it but it affects her to the point of not wanting to go to certain places where it tends to happen more often (Home Depot). From a guys perspective I think most of the time we don’t know how creepy or unsettling it can make you feel. I say we because I’m a guy, not because I’ve ever done it. I’ve been too shy to say anything to anyone ever in that regard my whole life, and I’m ok with that. Hell I don’t even make eye contact with strangers in public.

Mine was $4400 total, $400 of which was for a hernia repair. Hers was about $8000-$9000. If I were to do it again I would go to the $4000 one, and if she were to do it again she would do the $8000 one 😆. The surgery itself was a success with zero complications for either of us. I lost 145lbs and am at a healthy BMI and weigh less than I did when I was 12 years old (I’m 46 now) and she has lost 20… yep. 20. But don’t let that be a deciding factor. She ate like a bird before, and ate healthy. The smaller stomach didn’t change that, we should have realized this… we are still trying to figure out what is up with her as there is some underlying issue. We are finding new things with each round of tests, NONE of which have anything to do with her surgery. So again, please don’t use her lack of weight loss as a factor in your decision, it is unique to her, her stomach was removed, her medical team was superb, her experience was flawless, her recovery was fast. Both of our facilities were clean, hers was better decorated and most definitely better suited to the procedure and English speaking patients. My doctor and his assistant were perfectly fluent in English but the hospital staff was not, so a lot of google translate was used by both sides. I’m really laid back and kind of enjoy the occasional adventure so none of that bothered me in the slightest. I never felt like I was at risk, and I recovered almost completely in just a few days.. it was just a little surreal being wheeled into an operating room while a phone robot voice was asking me medical questions in prep. My whole weight loss adventure has been very easy for me… but again I wouldn’t use that as a deciding factor either. I don’t imagine my results or hers would have been any different with any other doctor that performed the same operation. I guess the simplest way to answer this is…. Mine was like a new affordable car, hers was like a new luxury car. Both will get you to where you need to go reliably… what matters is how much you want to spend and what kind of ride are you comfortable with during the journey.  

We are caring for my elderly father in law (who had a sleeve like 15 years ago, so…. relevant!) and it’s like wipe his butt/can’t get out of bed care… anyway yesterday was the first time my wife left me alone to handle it all, plus the business plus the kids. Plus the fridge we ordered when we converted our garage into an apartment for him (his wife/caregiver passed away this past spring) hasn’t worked since we had it delivered three weeks and Home Depot and Frigidaire are both refusing to take responsibility and a second service call yesterday yielded no results…. Uhg to say I was freaking the hell out is an understatement. See? I share too much with strangers… 😂 new day. Ready to crush it. I also ate too many m&ms yesterday. Overslept, gotta take kids to school. How the hell does she do this every day. I love her and miss her and I’m still embarrassed about being rude. Where is my toothbrush.

Nope, not your fault at all :) I reread it and understand what you’re saying, and even agree. Sorries all come from this side of the interwebs. I try to be a positive person all the time but the reality is I’m not, and it skips out sometimes. But…… to put the past behind us now… I do agree that “not interested in discussing my private affairs” is a good response too. It’s not for me. The one thing about lying that really bothers me…. My wife’s brother is large. It’s her side she wishes not know and so I stuck to the half truth of “protein shakes and exercise” and where the pain comes in is when he confides in me that he’s trying but just can’t stick to it long enough to make a difference. That was me until I had surgery so I know what he’s feeling and I feel like my half truth (lie by omission) is hurting him. I don’t want to break my promise to my wife, that comes first. But it was that feeling of putting this man in a position of feeling like he failed (again) when I didn’t (because my stomach was removed) is what really made me want to be open with strangers who happen to ask (and that’s a rare occasion since they don’t know what I looked like unless they see my id. It felt GOOD to give them hope and it felt better for me to be able to give that to them.

Sorry for my grumpy post. I have no valid excuse just a very bad day etc. I’ll leave it so I can remind myself of how I can act if I don’t think and instead react. I apologize futureselyph, your points are valid.

Sorry but I made the thread and I made it about my experience and I’ll call it what I want… plus it’s accurate. As I said, do as you see fit, lie, don’t lie, make half truths or just tell them to piss off, I don’t care. I’ve only ever done two things when people ask… tell the truth and lie (dependent on who they are) and this post is about my thoughts on those two options, and those two options only. The “create a new post” option is available for you to use as you wish.

My biggest legitimate fear going into surgery was drinking fluids. I was a chugger and I drink in my sleep (as in I don’t recall waking up but my water jug will be empty when I wake up). Ever since I was a child I’ve always HAD to have a large source of water on my night stand or I can’t even fall asleep… obviously it’s a mental issue but whatever. I still remember my mom’s fugly green water pitcher I used to use as a child… and if I’m in a hotel and forget to bring a jug of water I have to fill the ice bucket with sink water just to fall asleep (yeah I wash it out first), that’s how bad my neurosis is. Anyhow fast forward to now and it’s probably the one negative thing I’ve dealt with post op. As mentioned, you’re not going to stretch anything with fluids, they pass through fast and it isn’t going to block anything while the stomach processes it but it isn’t instantaneous. Lately I’ve been drinking too heavily in my sleep again, it just started a couple weeks ago. Ive “vurped” a few times recently and last night I threw up from it… and THAT wakes me up (thankfully). When awake I count my baby sips, I know exactly what I’m able to take in, and you’ll learn the same thing about yourself. I can feel my stomach empty and take another set of sips just a few minutes later if I’m sweating heavily or just extra thirsty. Like a lot of this, it’s a learning process. Trust your instincts and adjust as needed and before you know it you’ll discover your new normal.

Yah that’s garbage (the doctor’s behavior not your note, the note is well deserved). I’d have him put all that in writing and forward that to your governing medical board for review. At the very least if he has a pattern of this kind of behavior your report will help others who have reported similar.

I wouldn’t ask for input from only people who had regrets and/or canceled, because… well that’s all you’re going to hear about and you’ll definitely not go through with it (which is fine, it’s your choice of course). I’d ask “can everyone here who is at least a year post op give me a “would do it again” or “would not do it again” please” This forum is a great place. It really is. There are tons of helpful people, funny people, honest people. The downside to a forum like this is it’s much more common for someone who is having a problem to post a question looking for help or advice or just to vent. It vastly skews the perception of the number and severity of problems. The reality is for most people surgery works and works well at achieving sustained weight loss. Very few people statistically have what I would call a major complication. When compared to the statistics of complications (or co-morbidities) of being obese, it’s not even a fair contest. You are not alone in having worries and doubts though, not by a long shot. I had them too, many of us did. But I didn’t cancel and I most definitely do NOT regret having surgery. It was probably the best true free will choice I’ve ever made in my life… no, it definitely was. Being a guy who doesn’t care about his hair, I can’t share my advice about hair loss. It’s a thing that can happen. It didn’t happen to me, but again I wouldn’t have cared if I lost all my hair, I’d have done this again without a second thought. In fact, I would go so far as to say that… based on how GREAT I feel today, even if I had a major complication that required hospitalization post op, I would still go through with it knowing what I know now. I wish I did this years ago, but I didn’t. I feel like I lost some of the best years with myself, my kids, just in general… The following is a cheeze-ball comment but it’s true…. This new me… this is the me that was hiding inside a fat suit almost all of my life… sad, pretty lonely, afraid to come out and just enjoy life like I am now. I wish I met him when I was younger. I wish I was strong enough to do this on my own at a much younger age, but in the end I don’t care how this new me got here… I’m here and I’m not going back inside that fat suit ever again. I am 46 and feel like I’m about to turn 27. I wish you the best, no matter what you decide. But don’t only look for the negatives, because that’s what you’ll find. There’s a lot of us “hell yah I’d do this again!!” people out there, we’re just quiet about it in general compared to the people who do really need help getting through a tough spot.