Suzi_the_Q

No matter what you look like, everyone is nervous about their body their first time. If you’ve gone through the first couple of bases, so to speak, he’s felt what your body is like and he’s still interested. My advice is candlelight and ask him for a massage: everyone looks better by candlelight, he’ll get a feel for your body, squish and all, and it’ll help you relax and get comfortable with him touching and seeing you in an intimate way. Plus, a lot of men like women with some softness to them! If you have cats or are uncomfortable with open flames get the electric candles. Also, try talking to him about this. My personal rule has always been: if you don’t feel comfortable talking with someone about sex and intimacy, you probably shouldn’t be doing it with them. Men like being clued in. Good luck.

So after I lost all the water weight from surgery, I lost 10lbs- all by week 1.5. Now? Nothing. I'm just past my 2 week mark now. Did I get the infamous 3 week stall early? Also sick of feeling kinda crappy multiple times per day. And who has time to eat 8x per day?? And do they really expect it to take 1/2 hour + to eat 2oz of food?? Very frustrated.

Typically, at about 3 weeks post-op you'll have a stall in weight loss, could last a week or a few weeks. It breaks eventually, but it's very disheartening. If you do a search on the forum for "3 week stall" you will find a lot of posts and information.

I know this sounds weird, but I feel like fat is *actually* coming out through my pores: my skin is super soft and it feels like I've put lotion on when I haven't. My husband noticed too. Is this a thing? I'm not complaining mind you, it's just really odd, especially given that it's winter. I know that in some extreme diets you're not allowed to use conditioner or lotions because it absorbs in the skin (supposedly).

That'd be great! 😃

You're still pumped up full of fluid. I gained 10lbs in the hospital, only started losing a few days ago and I had RNY 12/29. It'll happen.

Better to have the baby then get thin after? My hubs and I tried for a couple years then gave up. We just decided that I guess we're one and done so I had the surgery instead. I didn't want to go through the surgery first then baby, then have to lose weight again, but that's me. At least you're healthier now and have established good habits. Sorry and congrats?

Wow! That's amazing! You look great!

I'm so excited for you!!! You're gonna look great! (Though tbh, you look pretty good now- way to go on the WL!) Can't wait until I'm there too! Thanks for letting us follow this journey! (Gorgeous ring too btw)

I just had my bypass last Tuesday and honestly I think you'll be ok. Yes, there is more fatigue, but you only sleep constantly for the first few days. You still sleep more (or at least I do) thereafter, but I'm up and able to focus etc. Your mileage will vary of course. Good luck!

I've been making my protein shakes with Fair Life (non-fat) milk which adds 13g of protein per cup. It's a great way to add protein if you can tolerate dairy. Shakes count for both liquids and protein too, so. There's also this Gelatein stuff which is protein jello- 20g per cup. It's shelf stable, so you can get it on Amazon. Protein water too. Good luck!

Congrats ladies! I hope this is me next year!

I made it through! I don't even remember being wheeled into the OR which is nice. Overall I feel it went very well. My dr. told my family it was a nice boring surgery, lol. (She has a very dry sense of humor.) Just got home. Still some soreness/ pain in the abdomen and a little in the shoulder, but the meds keep it to a tolerable level. Feeling pretty wiped out so I'm going to get some rest. Thank you for all the well-wishes and encouragement, it means a lot!

My time is nearly here andddddd..... I'm starting to get pretty nervous. I've never had surgery before and I'm worried about the pain, the anesthesia, how long will I be in recovery etc. Someone please talk me off the ledge here! I'm trying to stay focused on my goals: better health, being able to do more with my son, less pain from fibromyalgia (hopefully), looking hot again (post PS I'm sure) etc. but still it's SURGERY! Am I crazy? Is this too extreme? I check in @ 5:30 am on Tuesday (PST), surgery @ 7:30. Holy Crap that's 32.5 hours from now-- HOURS! This anticipation is killing me- AAAARGH!

Thank you everyone! I needed to hear this. I've been reading almost everything on this forum for nearly a year now, (among other things) so I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be. It's crazy to think that I'll be going to bed in a few hours and then I'll be up and having surgery. I think probably the hardest part will be keeping my cat(s) from sleeping on me for a month 😅

FWIW, I'm Bi and coming out in the 90s was a b***h. I've never examined particularly how this has affected my weight/ body issues throughout my life, but then my ACE score is pretty high. I'd be happy to have a LGBTQIA-specific forum, similar to "the Gals' room" or The Guys' room," I think it could only help more people have a place to ask questions or rant on topics particular to us. Generally this page is more of a "everyone in the same boat of WLS" place, all are welcome though. I'm sorry that this has been a chilly reception for you, I haven't found it to be so, generally. Most everyone here is pretty nice.

It's not that I'm hungry, I'm not much, but OMG I JUST WANT TO CHEW SOMETHING!!!Particularly something CRUNCHY! 8 more days of this, then weeks thereafter. *cries* I hope my surgery doesn't get rescheduled because they said I have to stay on liquid diet until surgery if it does. 😩

I wish I had read this before re: the ice trick- I totally cracked and ate food. 😓 Ah well, back on the wagon. One of my nutritionists told me (off the record) that if I ate a little bit on xmas it'd be fine, so I think so long as I'm good from now on it'll be ok. Oof.

So my surgery is scheduled for 12/29 and I'm feeling all the feelings: excited, nervous, concerned etc. But the worst thing is that because of Covid-19 my hospital is reviewing and cancelling/ rescheduling elective surgeries on pretty much a daily basis so that I won't know if I'm actually going to have surgery until xmas. I have 3 more days until my pre-op liquid diet and I'm not looking forward to the possibility that I'll have to stay on that without the surgery well into January if I get bumped. I'm also scared that I might get Covid while I'm there. This is so ridiculously stressful! I should be excited that I'm getting what I worked so hard for. Just gotta keep my fingers crossed I guess. =(

Yeah, you would think that, but NOPE! They already said I'd have to stay on pre-op diet because it'd be like a week or 2 extra. =(

I'm 41 and about to have bypass but I'm already planning for my PS. May as well look as hot as you want to!

I'm having mine on the 29th of this month. I'm down. 😃

Thank you for both of your responses, I'll address them both separately here: Grace: The pain clinic is one of the very few that take medicaid in my area. I tried getting in with another one a couple of years (YEARS) ago and they took my paperwork then never called or returned calls. This one has their own review process for referrals and another pain clinic in town recently closed so they've received a lot of referrals recently. So it'll be (at least) 2 weeks until they call me to put me on the schedule, so who knows how long until my appointment. It's very frustrating. I have gotten myself one of those full back heating pads that goes from my neck to my hips and it helps (you can do wet heat with it too) but I've noticed that all of it doesn't seem to heat up at once unfortunately. My (new) GP is a naturopath, which I'm not into but I really like the clinic and she's both very on the ball and easy to get same or next day appointments with if it's urgent. She will not prescribe pain meds at all. I don't think my therapist is a pain specific specialist, but we vibe pretty well and she helps me. Mental health professionals are hard to come by in my area so when you get a good one, you stick with it. Being touched like that (massage) by strangers has always triggered anxiety in me, it's just too intimate. My bathroom with a tub has no doorknob/ lock right now, so that's not good either. I appreciate your advice and kind words. NovaLuna: Thank you for sharing your story with me; I can never remember the name of your condition, just that it's "the suicide pain." I'm so sorry you've had to and may again go through that, but I'm glad that there's at least some form of treatment. Chronic pain is so very isolating and limiting. That's why I'm getting bypass so that hopefully some of it will alleviate but if its fibro (which, the more I learn about it, that seems likely) it will be a lifelong thing regardless. You're young, so you get what a scary barrel to look down that is. I'm 41, so another 40ish years of this? Oof. My new GP is the first one to really acknowledge my issues and put a name on it. Everyone else just wrote it off. Hell, my last gp wrote in the notes that I had pain because I'm fat when the reverse is true: my loss of mobility and the extra depression caused my weight gain. (It was fun hearing the judge at my disability hearing read that out loud. I lost, go fig.) Reading and Netflix are my current go-to's, so I guess I'll be sticking with that. ❤️

Same girl, same.