1JoAnne

I have the same basic response - I say thank you for noticing - very sincerely - and maybe compliment something the person is wearing - oh and I love your bracelets they go perfectly with your shirt . I have one friend I can tell / talk with about weight - or I come here !

I did have that problem when talking about the upcoming surgery with my weight loss group-there were a lot of very negative and spiteful comments. I stay away from anyone I expect that from. However, since having the surgery, I lost weight very fast. I also had complications and a longer recovery so some of my neighbors took notice anyhow. My neighbors and friends know of my past health problems and even the fact of being 50 with older friends and neighbors helps a lot. I got nothing but real support and cheerleading from anyone around me and they know I have the surgery.
I have a very supportive husband, adult kids, aunt and close friends. I try to be very sensitive to my close friends as they are all the weight I started at with many health problems. They will see it however and call me 'the skinny one' ha when we get together. Most times, I get the response of either, "I'll work out with you or walk with you" or, in another mood, I will get the response of, "Sorry, Dawn, we don't mean to eat this delicious pizza that you can't have anymore.....yummy!" in a sort of teasing tone with lots of laughter.
My mother is someone I split ways with a long time ago and my brother was added to that list. I'm too old to have negativity and hurt in my life anymore. Sometimes, that's all you can do. I still have the voice of my mother calling me, "fat c... and other extremely bad things" but the surgery has made that so much better. At times, I even think to try to get back in touch but my aunt is right, it will just give me the same hurt that isn't necessary as my mother will never change. It sounds a lot like your situation in ways.
I keep my friends private and positive only. You get a chance with me if you are a friend of a friend or a new possibility; I won't hide who I am and how happy the surgery has made me. That's on you if it's a problem or something you have to judge-it just comes from another person feeling unsatisfied in their own life and I've gone through too much in life to let something like that bother me or stay in my life.
It's difficult if it's family and you have your own decisions with that but if you can't say to them that it's hurting you and you need their support, then it's time to maybe back out of that a bit while you are going through this process and keep positive people around you only.
Great job on your weight loss! I know you feel just awesome and so much better in every way!

Good one

It's kind of like telling someone who is struggling financially that you just won the lottery.

I’m no braggart. This was the first time I shared unprompted about my progress except for with my boyfriend, counselor and the bariatric groups. I kinda figured since she’d asked several times about my progress she would have been happy for me......
pretty much what you guys are saying is just don’t tell any one and refuse to talk about it with any one. It’s kinda bullshit if that’s how we have to behave. Why can’t our loved ones just be happy for us?

I am extremely careful who I talk to about my weight loss surgery.
But even then the jealousy or hurtful comments come out anyway. My mum keeps saying I havent lost any weight and that I have a fat face. It was totally unprovoked and I couldnt call her out because shes very dramatic. She once asked if the surgery would make me thinner than her...
I managed to lose 4 pounds in a week a bit ago so I know I am making progress.
Anyway, weight is a sensitive issue for everyone. Some handle it better than others, some not. In my case I cant avoid it with my mum but maybe you can by not talking about it to her. She doesnt need to know if she cant be happy for you .
Happy for your BMI victory.

Did any one just stop sharing their progress with people they know because of their reactions?

I told my mum about my BMI victory and she said “b***h” her tone dripping with jealousy. She then asked me how much I weigh now and when I told her she said “f*ck you”. Once again with a jealousy and honestly a little pissy tone.
it hurt (I could feel myself mentally and emotionally recoil) and honestly makes me not want to share my progress with her any more. Even if she meant it jokingly (but seriously the jealous tone was there) it was still hurtful.
I know others have dealt with this sort of thing. How did you handle it? My mother is the kind of person where if I try to talk to her about the effect it had on me she’d get defensive and make herself into the victim (she does it every time someone tries explaining to her why something she said or did was wrong. She acts like a spoiled emo teen).

Dec 15th

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My surgery date is scheduled for the 14th as well. Just scheduled it today.

My date is also 12/14.

I’m new here my surgery is December 24 yes you read it correctly Christmas Eve lol

Welcome!! I guess it’s like your christmas present to yourself 😀

I am new to the community and wanted to start this to connect with others having surgery in December 2020. Mu surgery date is 12/14/20.

I'm 3 weeks post op and this is what worked for me.

If the hospital doesn't give you one, make sure to have an abdominal binder! I never had surgery before and I lived in my binder for the first week. Having that extra support helps with walking.

Also get good reusable ice packs on Amazon. I got ones that covered my whole stomach and they were life savers!

Make sure you have a good amount of pillows to prop yourself up at night. It just feels better to be on an incline than to lay flat (at least for me it was). I got a big u-shaped maternity pillow that helped keep me on my back because I'm a side sleeper. Also the first two nights I sleep on our recliner.

Don't wait to take your pain meds. This goes for in the hospital as well as at home.

Everyone says this but walk, walk, walk. It helps break up the monotony of being in the hospital. At the same time, don't feel bad about sleeping. I had constantly read how people walked seemingly all the time post-op. I think I did 3-4 loops over a few hours and then tucked in for the night. When you're not walking always make sure you have your calf pumps on to keep the blood moving.

Sip sip sip! Glue your water bottle to you! I went in for fluids about 13 days after because I was very dehydrated. I walked a lot when drinking on the beginning because it felt better and seemed to go down faster.

Have a pillow to put over your stomach for the car ride home. I constantly had my pillow over my stomach for 2 weeks because it was a comfort and also so I could text easier since I rest my arms on my stomach when texting.

Lotion and lip balm are life!

Most importantly, know that you will experience a lot of different emotions during recovery. I scoffed at this but sometimes I feel like a teen with my mood swings.

Finally, give yourself grace and try to stay as positive as possible. It will be tough, but every day you'll wake up feeling a little better than yesterday and with more energy!

Try not to play the comparison game too much. I got myself all worked up in the beginning because I wasn't where others were. I recover slower than others and that's okay. It's not a race. Listen to your body.

I wish you the best of luck and a fantastic surgery and recovery! Seeing the weight loss every day is such a motivator and helped me get through the tough days. You got this!

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Seeing your official dates, guys, is giving me the butterflies in my stomach. Not bad! It’s like that feeling when you have your first kiss with someone! So excited but a little nervous!

Mine is December 15th! I feel like it is forever away 😬

@Xx1jpt5xx so very sorry about your loss. Just want to say that with things already going pretty badly that must feel like a real kick in the gut. Be careful to monitor your pain. Might want to see the doctor if it persists. Hang in there.

It's been a tough couple days. My wife was pregnant and we lost the baby a few days ago. Normally I would eat to cope but since I cant do that I'm having a tough time.
She had to have emergency surgery because of it and I've had to pick up the slack with our son. Guess I overdid it and am now having sharp pains under my right side incision.

Had gastric sleeve surgery 2/17/20. I’m down 33 lbs since surgery, lost 20 lbs before surgery so I’m pretty happy. I’ve been working from home since mid March and am finding that walking twice a day has been really good for my weight loss and mental health. I just found this forum and am finding a lot of good information and encouragement here.

Between the presurgical loss, and what I’ve eked out about 34 pounds. I am disappointed, but at least I no longer binge and have stupid cravings. I have such a long way to go, I’m fighting the blues, all the time. I’ve developed some heart beat issues since the surgery. The surgeon is not good about questions, so I’m seeing a cardiologist. I’m not moving much, because the meds are still not kicking in.

Hey Shanto
I struggle so much with water too. Weird that diluted juice or diet cordial seems to go down easier......I have only been managing 150 - 250 cals a day so dietitian is fine with it just for the calories. I wonder if less water slows weight loss? I am officially 12 weeks today and am down 71 pounds. I have had a bit of a rough run since surgery, but really feel like I am turning a corner.
I am thinking I will need to start looking at calories and macros soon when I start to be able to eat more. I am lucky to get any Protein in a day, but really it is only early days and if my body has gotten through the last 12 weeks ok, then I'm sure I will get there in the end! Has anyone else started looking into this kind of thing yet or still in the healing phase?
All the best February Guys and Gals
Loz x

I am going to have to try upping my Water. Getting enough water has been my biggest challenge. I just don’t want it for some reason. I was 270 pre surgery 260 day of surgery (feb 26) and now I am 232lbs. I think I’m pretty close to where everyone else is at this point. I did think it would be faster though. 😐 Oh well starting to fit into some stuff that I haven’t worn in a while.

Wow! That's rough to not have the scale move for the first month. How much have you lost in the second month? Where did you start?

I had my surgery March 9th, then all the lockdown started. The surgeon did a brief tele conf, a couple of times. Was really abrupt. The office was closed to questions. I had shakes and Soups for the first two weeks. The first month the scale hadn’t moved, except one day to go up two pounds, that stayed for three weeks. Very frustrating, to say the least. I got a free app for my phone, called ProTracker. Counts calories and nutrients. I found when I went to 1100 calories, things started moving. I eat very small portions of Greek yogurt, chicken, lean pork chop, tuna, garden meatballs, for main meals. Supplement with small fruit portion, or the bariatric bars and Snacks. Absolutely no support. Need someone to tell me I’m doing this right.

Hello everyone! Hope you all are staying healthy and safe! I weigh on Fridays, so this is my 3 month mark. I am down 30 pounds in the 3 months since surgery, 40 including the 3 week pre-op weight loss. Not very fast, and this week was barely a pound, but I am happy with it. I have really been increasing movement and I am walking between 4 and 5 miles per day, spread out over the day. I am experimenting with food, and am eating 700 to 850 calories per day. My Protein intake is good, and I fight to get the Water in! Downside....my hair is soooo thin, and I am noticing lots of saggy upper arm skin. Hope everyone is hanging in!