BigSue

I lost 110 pounds before anyone commented, and then, all of a sudden, the opposite — people would not shut up about my weight! I was not happy about that because I’m a private person and didn’t want to discuss it. The timing corresponded to when I bought new pants because my old ones were falling off, even with a belt, so if you want people to notice, some new clothes might help. But don’t worry, people will start to notice! I’ve seen people talk about weight loss as being like using a roll of paper towels. Take 10 sheets off a full roll and you can barely tell, but take 10 sheets from an almost empty roll and it makes a big difference.

This is a very informative video about goal weight for WLS patients:

I think the best way to resist temptation is to avoid it as much as possible. Don't buy junk food. If it's not around, you can't eat it. I take it a step further and use online grocery shopping (pickup or delivery) so I don't even have to go into the store. I shop mostly from my favorites lists that only contain healthy foods. On the rare occasion I go into the store, all of the temptations are in my face and I find myself tempted to buy something I shouldn't, "just this once." The more you have to face temptation, the more mental effort it takes to resist and the more likely you are to give in. Another thing that helps is having healthy, delicious foods readily available. If you like to cook, go on Pinterest to find healthy recipes that you look forward to trying. I live alone, so I always have a lot of leftovers that I freeze in individual portions, so I have a variety of healthy meals that I can easily grab from the freezer and heat in the microwave with some cauliflower rice. I meal prep a bunch of salads every week and have a variety of Skinny Girl salad dressings on hand. I eat a lot of sugar-free Jello with sugar-free meringue (made with pasteurized egg whites so it's safe to eat raw), and sugar-free meringue cookies. I also eat protein bars (Built Bars are my favorite) as a healthy-ish treat. This is so important, and it's really easy to take for granted once you lose the weight -- to forget how hard it is to live with morbid obesity. I recently saw a guy at work who was so big that he looked like he was struggling to walk out to the parking lot, and my heart broke for him because I remember being that big. I don't really think about it much anymore, but there was a time that I dreaded walking to and from the parking lot or up a couple of flights of stairs because it was so hard when I was carrying an extra 200 pounds. And that's not to mention all the social stigma on being fat, which I never want to experience again.

Walking. Someone on this forum recommended Leslie Sansone Walk at Home (search YouTube for Leslie Sansone to find lots of free videos) and I am so glad I gave it a try. I started with 15-minute videos and I still use these videos daily, sometimes 2 hours or more (multiple videos back-to-back). This is a great program for people of all fitness levels. I also like the fact that some of the group videos have body diversity — I found it very encouraging to see people my size in the videos when I was just starting out.

19 pounds in one month is in no way slow. If you’re comparing your weight loss to others’, (a) don’t and (b) they probably had a higher starting weight and therefore more to lose. The more excess weight you have, the faster you can lose it, but as you get smaller, it slows down. Each pound is harder to lose than the last. Be patient. You didn’t gain all the weight in a month, and you won’t lose it all in a month. There are many factors that affect your rate of weight loss, and 19 pounds in the first month is excellent.

Welcome! You have some very good questions, and the fact that you are thinking about these things is great. Weight loss surgery isn't for everyone, and I think it's really important to make the decision with your eyes wide open and be prepared for the good, the bad, and the ugly. This forum is a great place to read about other people's experiences with WLS so you can know what to expect. Pay particular attention to catwoman7's posts -- she is a great example of a WLS success story, who lost all of her excess weight and has kept it off long-term (and she is a true bariatric guru with lots of excellent advice and insight). Just about all of us have had many failed weight loss attempts in the past. Most insurance companies require evidence of failed weight loss attempts before they'll pay for surgery, because surgery is a pretty drastic solution and few people would want to go through it if they could lose and maintain weight loss without surgery. But many of us who have failed so many times before have been successful with WLS. It is true that some people gain back some or all of the weight (or don't lose as much weight as they need to) after WLS because, as you've figured out, WLS isn't magic. It still takes a lot of work and commitment and (as much as I hate the term) lifestyle changes. I get the impression that in the early years of WLS, the emphasis was on the restriction (and, to some extent, malabsorption) of surgery -- the physical limitations that made it impossible to overeat and/or that made the patient ill from eating too much fat or sugar. Patients mainly relied on eating smaller quantities to lose weight. This works in the short term, but the restriction loosens up over time (so you can eventually eat more in one sitting), and if you continue eating high-calorie foods and/or get in the habit of eating around your surgery by eating smaller portions more frequently, you can easily increase your calorie consumption back to the point of regaining weight. For me (and many others), WLS made the initial weight loss much easier than dieting alone because I had no hunger for several months after surgery, but I do get hungry now and it's a challenge to stick to my plan. I think that these days, most WLS clinics have a more comprehensive approach and provide more guidance on dietary changes. After WLS, you pretty much reboot your eating patterns, almost like a baby. You go back to consuming only liquids, then pureed and mushy foods, and tiny bites of soft foods before you get back to eating like an adult. I think this process is the turning point for your long-term path after WLS. You can either take advantage of this opportunity to get into good habits of eating nutritious food, or you can get back into your old eating habits once you are physically able to eat normal foods again (which can ultimately lead to regain). As far as how WLS affects mental health, that is very dependent on the individual and not necessarily predictable. I think it's safe to say that most people's mental health benefits greatly from weight loss because living with obesity is incredibly difficult, but of course there are instances of unexpected negative results. If you have a history of mental health issues, that's something to discuss with your provider as part of your decision (and most insurance companies and clinics require a psychological consultation to make sure you are mentally/emotionally prepared for surgery). I did my surgery completely alone. I'm 2.5 years post-op and haven't told any family, friends, or coworkers about my surgery. I live alone and had no help after my surgery. I was fortunate to have a pretty easy recovery, so I had no problems taking care of myself (although I later developed bradycardia due to the rapid weight loss and had to get a pacemaker). In a way, I think living alone makes the post-op life easier because I have complete control over the food purchasing and preparation in my house. I simply don't buy foods that don't fit in my plan, so it is easy to avoid temptation. I encourage you to continue to research WLS and read about other people's experiences as you make your decision. Good luck!

Slow down and be patient. I know that for a lot of us, when we make the decision to get surgery, it feels urgent — we’ve gotten to the point that we can’t stand living with obesity for another day — and the wait to get the surgery feels like an eternity. But the pre-surgery process is a long one and it usually takes months from your initial consultation (which, if I understand correctly, you haven’t even had yet) to the actual surgery date. For me, it was 5 months, and even though it seemed like such a long wait, it flew by and once I got to the 2-week liquid diet, I felt like it snuck up on me so quickly! I would definitely not recommend starting a liquid diet before you even go in for your initial consultation. You’re not going to want to do that for any longer than required, and again, it could be months before your surgery. Instead, I recommend downloading a food tracking app (I use MyFitnessPal, but there are other options like Baritastic, Lose It, Cronometer, etc.) and start tracking everything you eat. Actually measure your portions, preferably with a food scale. I wouldn’t recommend rushing into anything before you’ve actually talked to a surgeon. Your surgeon’s office should give you all the information about post-op progression and vitamin recommendations. There’s no need for you to get a head start on it at this point, and you may find that your surgeon”s instructions will be different than some random information from the internet.

Oh, man, I have so many horrible memories of those chairs with attached desks. I haven't encountered one since I lost weight, but now that I think about it, I kind of want to see what it's like to fit into one comfortably! Yes! I used to hate booths so much, but I was too embarrassed to speak up and ask for a table because I was too fat to fit in a booth, so I just had to hope and pray to get a booth. I wonder if servers think about that. You would think it would come up often enough that they would try to be nice and default to a table when they see a plus-sized customer. Anyway, it is nice not to have the emotional burden of always having to wonder if I will fit into a seat.

I know exactly what you mean about being self-conscious about food in public, and I've been in that same situation of not wanting to bring food back for someone else because I know no one would believe me. That is very cool that you can feel free to carry two plates of food now. Sadly, even after losing the weight, I still hate eating in front of people and I still carry that shame about food. Even when I'm eating healthy food, I still feel like people are watching and judging what I eat. A few months back, I was buying fish at a seafood market and I asked for advice about how to cook a certain kind of fish, and the lady at the counter started to say it's good fried, but then she stopped and said, "Well, you're probably into healthy cooking, right?" based on nothing but looking at me, and it felt so weird! I don't think I'll ever lose the scars of being the fat girl.

If you don’t have any surgical complications, you might be fine to do this as an outpatient procedure (especially since you have your husband to keep an eye on you and provide assistance). However, you need to be really diligent about following post-surgery instructions. I stayed one night, and I was eager to get released and go home, but in hindsight, I’m glad they made me stay overnight because it was so difficult to get sufficient fluid intake those first few days. While I was in the hospital, they pumped me full of IV fluids, which gave me a head start on hydration while I struggled to drink water. Dehydration is one of the most common causes of hospitalization after surgery, so without the help of an extra night of IV fluids, you’ll need to be extra careful about keeping up with your fluid intake or you might have to go back to the hospital anyway.

I’m pretty sure I just googled home health care and called up a local company with good reviews. You can also search for medical transportation companies. The home health care company I called offered a 4-hour shift. It didn’t even cost much more than a cab, and the aide picked up my prescriptions and carried my bag into my house.

I'm 2.5 years post-op from gastric bypass. I think weight loss surgery can help make major changes to your relationship with food and eating, but it takes a lot of time and work to undo the habits and mindset you've developed throughout your life up to this point. I had read that a lot of people experience changes in their tastes after surgery, and I hoped that would be the case for me but was not optimistic. I mentioned this hope to the psychiatrist during my psych eval for the surgery, and he kind of laughed at this idea and told me not to count on it. I've always been a picky eater with a long list of vegetables and cuisines that I wouldn't eat. Some people say that after surgery, food tastes different (e.g., anything sweet tastes too sweet), but that was not my experience, so I figured I wasn't one of the lucky ones whose tastes would change. Well, fast-forward to now and my tastes have changed... sort of. It's hard to explain because foods taste the same now as they did before surgery, but my likes and dislikes have changed a lot. I used to hate seafood and now I love it. I eat all kinds of vegetables that I used to hate. I'm not sure if my tastes have changed or I just have more of an open mind, or maybe having to go through the pre-op liquid diet and post-op stages made me appreciate real food more when I reintroduced it. Either way, I'm eating healthy foods every day and loving them. Before surgery, I loved watching cooking shows like Top Chef and Great British Baking Show. For the first several months after surgery, I couldn't bear to watch cooking shows. I hated even seeing food commercials on TV. It just made me sad and angry to see foods that I could no longer eat. But eventually, I got to a point where I could see food and cooking without the emotional attachment. I can watch Great British Baking Show and appreciate the cakes and cookies they make without being sad that I can't eat them. Once I got to the point of reintroducing solid food, I put a lot of effort into recreating "bariatric-friendly" versions of foods I used to eat -- especially pizza. Pizza was my kryptonite, and before surgery, I could not get enough pizza. I could have eaten pizza every day and never gotten tired of it. After surgery, I tried chicken crust pizza, and making pizza with low-carb tortilla for the crust, topped with sugar-free marinara, low fat mozzarella, and turkey pepperoni. But I also started trying healthy recipes that I found on Pinterest, and eventually, I stopped craving pizza. I haven't had anything resembling pizza (even a healthy version) in well over a year and I don't care. If you put two plates in front of me, one with a slice of pizza and one with grilled salmon and roasted vegetables, I would go straight for the salmon and not even be tempted by the pizza. This is just wild to me because three years ago, I wouldn't have eaten salmon if it were the only food available, and I never could have passed up a slice of pizza. Sometimes I feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience because before surgery, I couldn't imagine being the health nut with a refrigerator full of fresh produce and no junk food in the house, eating grilled fish and cauliflower rice and salad with fat-free dressing, but here I am. I am constantly finding new, healthy, delicious recipes. Every single day, I eat healthy food and think, "Holy crap, this is delicious!" I honestly enjoy food more now than I did when I was eating whatever I wanted with wild abandon. It took me a long time to get here, and I can't promise that you or anyone else will have the same experiences after weight loss surgery, but my relationship with food has changed more than I could have imagined.

When I was considering weight loss surgery, I specifically looked for people who regretted it. I always like to be prepared, and for me, it was important to know the good, the bad, and the ugly. I had a hard time finding people who regretted their surgery; even people who suffered from serious complications often said that they would still do it again! I think it's important to go into surgery with your eyes open. It's not fun or easy. There are pros and cons and you have to evaluate for yourself if the surgery is worth it. For me, it was pretty clear cut, and yet still a tough decision. I started with a BMI over 60. My weight seriously hindered every aspect of my life. It was worth it for me to take a chance, even knowing all the negatives and risks, because it felt like my only chance to live. I lost more weight than I ever thought possible, but it's a struggle every day -- and yet nothing compared to how hard it was to live with morbid obesity.

I’m 2.5 years out and I eat more quickly now than I did in my early post-op days (I used to set a timer for 1 minute between bites), but still slower than I used to eat. I got in the habit of eating slowly, so even without using a timer, I now automatically pause between bites and chew very well. Because it’s now a habit, I don’t feel like I’m eating slowly, but on the rare occasion when I eat a meal with other people instead of alone, I am usually the last to finish eating. Early on, I had a lot of trouble with meat feeling stuck on the way down, no matter how well I chewed it. That almost never happens anymore, but maybe once every few months if I don’t chew well enough, it might. Again, though, I now chew everything well without really thinking about it.

Iron bisglycinate is also supposed to be easier on the stomach and not cause constipation. Taking iron on a full stomach can also help.

The pre-op diet is a rough two weeks, and quite possibly the hardest part of it all because you have to stick to this strict liquid diet without yet having the help of the surgery. Stay strong -- you can get through it. Your boss sounds pretty rude for rubbing it in that you can't eat, but 6 months from now, she will probably be jealous of all the weight you've lost.

Chewable multivitamins taste terrible, so I wouldn’t recommend taking them any longer than you have to. My surgeon told me to take chewables for the first 6 weeks after surgery, and as soon as that was over, I was glad to go back to a capsule. I used BariatricPal chewables, and once I switched to capsules, I started BariatricPal multivitamin one capsules. They are a great price. I got sample packs of a couple of other brands of chewable bariatric multivitamins, and they were equally disgusting, so I went with BariatricPal due to the price. The good news is that calcium citrate chews are delicious. I get the BariatricPal French vanilla caramel and Belgian chocolate caramel, and I look forward to taking them (also a great price compared to other calcium citrate chews). I also take chewable biotin and vitamin D, Natrol brand from Amazon, and they taste good, like strawberry candies. And NatureMade sublingual B12 tablets taste like cherry candies.

I don't mean to be judgmental about this because I went through it, myself. I first heard of weight loss surgery when I was in college, and I had already struggled with my weight and countless diets over the years. Gastric bypass sounded like an absolute miracle -- something that would just magically prevent me from overeating! I went to an informational seminar and a consultation with a surgeon, but when I started learning about how much work it would be, I thought, "If I had that much willpower, I wouldn't need the surgery!" I read people's personal experiences with WLS and was very turned off by how much their surgery affected their lives, because I wanted something that wouldn't require me to devote my whole life to weight loss. I backed out and it took me another 15 years before I was ready to put in the effort of the lifestyle changes. I'm very grateful to have the "tool" of weight loss surgery, but it required (and continues to require) a lot of work on my part.

Well, if the term "lifestyle changes" doesn't get rid of them (which is my goal -- I do not wish to discuss my body, my weight, or my diet with anyone other than medical professionals, and I consider it rude for people to ask about these personal topics in public, so I just want them to drop it without having to be rude myself and say, "None of your business"), I sometimes mention specific lifestyle changes, all of which are true. I work out daily, track my food intake, avoid sugar and fried foods, eat more vegetables, find healthy recipes to cook, and use online grocery shopping to avoid temptation. These are actual lifestyle changes that I have made and use along with the tool of my surgery, and I know that if I fall off the wagon of all these lifestyle changes, I can easily regain a lot of the weight. I WISH the surgery worked like magic and I didn't have to make permanent lifestyle changes.

I wonder if this bothers people because it hits a little too close to home. I used to hate when people said, "It's not a diet -- it's a lifestyle change!" (usually when referring to... a diet, e.g., keto). But now, I get it, as much as I hate to admit. I actually use that now to shut people up when they get too nosy about my weight loss (I have kept my surgery private and not told any friends, family, or coworkers). When they demand to know my secret to weight loss, I say I made a lot of lifestyle changes, and that's not what they want to hear. I see a lot of people on this forum who seem to expect the surgery to work like magic -- to make weight loss easy, instant, and permanent. Reminding people that surgery is a tool, not something that works on its own, might be a reality that's hard to face.

Try protein hot cocoa. I found it much easier to drink warm beverages in my early post-op days than cold. The Bariatric Pal hot cocoa mix is delicious but you can get other brands of protein hot cocoa on Amazon.

My surgery was 2.5 years ago, so it's sort of a distant memory at this point... I don't mean to scare anyone -- I actually hope it will be reassuring to know that (at least for me) waking up from surgery was the worst part. I remember being in the bed in the waiting area before surgery with an IV, and then nothing until I woke up. A lot of people remember being in the operating room, having to move themselves from the bed to the table, but I don't remember any of that. I woke up in a lot of pain and for some reason, I had it in my head that something went wrong and they didn't complete the bypass. When I was able to speak, I asked, "What happened?" I guess the nurses thought I was disoriented and explained that I was in the hospital and I just had gastric bypass surgery. I felt intense regret, wondering why I did this to myself. I could barely move, but I remember looking around and seeing the monitor showing my vitals. I had a blood pressure cuff on my arm that periodically ran, and it was a lot higher than normal, but nobody seemed concerned. I didn't really feel the incisions, but I had a lot of pain that I assumed was gas pain, based on what I had read before surgery, and I knew that I was supposed to walk to help with the gas pain. I kept asking to get up and walk, and the nurses told me I had to wait until they took me to my recovery room. I stayed in the hospital for one long, rough night. I was trying to walk as much as possible, up and down the halls. I made the mistake of walking at dinner time, and the non-bariatric patients had actual food, and the smell nauseated me. I got a meal tray with a protein shake, water, apple juice, coffee, and fruit cocktail (it was supposed to be sugar-free Jello, but apparently they were out and decided that fruit cocktail was the next best thing, LOL... The bariatric nurse was very upset that they had given me something that I shouldn't eat, but of course I knew better and did not eat it). Between walking, I tried to sip as much as possible, and it was very difficult. Fortunately, I had IV fluids, so plenty of hydration (and I had to pee very frequently). After the first few hours, I had very little pain and did not need to take any pain medication. I did have discomfort in my stomach, like cramping/spasms, so they gave me anti-spasm and anti-nausea medication. I had leg compression machines on my legs while I slept. The nurses came in to check on me periodically. My surgeon came in once. Once the anesthesia wore off and I was fully awake, I was eager to get out of the hospital and go home, and I felt like I had to wait forever. In hindsight, I'm glad they kept me for longer than I wanted because while I was there, I was getting hydrated with IV fluids, which was good because it was so hard to drink fluids those first few days. Once I got home, the first few days were not pleasant, but I had very little pain and recovered quickly. So if you feel completely miserable when you wake up, just know that you will get through it and things will likely improve very quickly.

I've looked at some bariatric cookbooks and I do not think they are worthwhile. There are tons of free recipes available on the internet. After the first couple of months, you don't really need bariatric-specific recipes (but don't sleep on the ricotta bake -- it is delicious and I made it regularly during my pureed and soft food stages). I have found a lot of wonderful recipes on Pinterest. I've had the best luck searching for "skinny" and "WW" (Weight Watchers). "Healthy," "low-carb," and "keto" also have some good results; you just have to make sure they meet your requirements ("keto" recipes in particular can be a mixed bag, because some of them are very high in fat, which can cause dumping for bariatric patients).

I didn’t tell anyone other than medical professionals about my surgery. I’m 2.5 years post-op and still haven’t told anyone. I managed fine on my own after surgery; my biggest challenge was getting home from the hospital (the hospital said I couldn’t take a cab or Uber, so I paid a home care aide to drive me home). I took a week of vacation time at work and didn’t tell anyone I was having surgery. However, I live alone. I assume you live with your husband, and I can’t imagine how it would be possible to have surgery without someone who lives with you finding out, unless he goes out of town for long periods of time and you somehow time your surgery accordingly. Even then, it would be difficult to hide, unless your plan is to have the surgery and tell him after the fact. Obviously, I am not a relationship expert in any way, but it does not seem conducive to a healthy marriage to have a major surgery without telling your partner.

The first few months post-op are the hardest because you’re still healing from surgery and adjusting to a lot of changes, but you’re not yet getting the benefits of the weight loss. It’s very normal at this stage to have feelings of regret and wonder if the surgery was a mistake. As time goes by, though, it gets easier in many ways. You’ll be able to re-introduce more foods into your diet as well as get used to the changes that will become your new “normal.” And in the meantime, you’ll lose a lot of weight and get to experience life as a non-obese person. This rough part of your journey will be a blip in your memory, and if you’re like most of us, eventually your only regret will be that you didn’t do this sooner.