SM16

Wow. I relate to this on so many levels. The starting weight watchers at such a young age... I thought I was the only one. I remember one summer in middle school my grandmother told me I didn’t need to be involved in extracurriculars at school so I could have time to focus on my waistline. Every diet that was available, I did it. I remember my mother making me read diet books like faith and fat loss and south beach diet along with so many others. Not even going all the way into the time she was convinced I was insulin resistant and I didn’t eat bread most of high school because I thought it would make me diabetic lol. Oh and I can’t forget about the year that I drank grapefruit juice or ate a grapefruit before every meal because that was going to ‘kick start’ my slow metabolism. I grew up hating my body because my mom would call herself fat and other derogatory terms and it definitely wore off on me. She still does this to this day. She asks me pretty much every time she sees me what size I wear and how much I weigh. It messes with my mind on a daily basis. It’s such a triggering thing for someone to do and I try daily to change the way she taught me to think about my body.

With all that said, I decided on the surgery for me and me alone. I don’t regret it at all and would do it a million times over again. But, with toxicity like this you should start preparing yourself to deal with that trauma. I honestly didn’t think I had issues with it until about a year after my surgery. Lol I never realized I never told my husband about any of it (I would joke about it in passing but never told him the extent of it) and one day my mom triggered me so bad I went on a tangent about it. He ended up in tears because he could never imagine going through that mentally. I suggest finding a counselor or therapist ASAP. The body dysmorphia hits hard and has to be felt with or it will destroy your tool. My issues are mine but I’m sure everyone with that much mental trauma will have some along the way. I started seeing a counselor and it helped a lot to be able to talk about how not normal that was. I have to work extremely hard every day to have a better relationship with food and am still learning how to love my body.

This was rambly and probably unhelpful. I really appreciate you sharing your story. It’s really nice to know I wasn’t the only one that went through something similar. I hope that your journey goes well and you find a way to deal with your parents.

Wow. I relate to this on so many levels. The starting weight watchers at such a young age... I thought I was the only one. I remember one summer in middle school my grandmother told me I didn’t need to be involved in extracurriculars at school so I could have time to focus on my waistline. Every diet that was available, I did it. I remember my mother making me read diet books like faith and fat loss and south beach diet along with so many others. Not even going all the way into the time she was convinced I was insulin resistant and I didn’t eat bread most of high school because I thought it would make me diabetic lol. Oh and I can’t forget about the year that I drank grapefruit juice or ate a grapefruit before every meal because that was going to ‘kick start’ my slow metabolism. I grew up hating my body because my mom would call herself fat and other derogatory terms and it definitely wore off on me. She still does this to this day. She asks me pretty much every time she sees me what size I wear and how much I weigh. It messes with my mind on a daily basis. It’s such a triggering thing for someone to do and I try daily to change the way she taught me to think about my body.

With all that said, I decided on the surgery for me and me alone. I don’t regret it at all and would do it a million times over again. But, with toxicity like this you should start preparing yourself to deal with that trauma. I honestly didn’t think I had issues with it until about a year after my surgery. Lol I never realized I never told my husband about any of it (I would joke about it in passing but never told him the extent of it) and one day my mom triggered me so bad I went on a tangent about it. He ended up in tears because he could never imagine going through that mentally. I suggest finding a counselor or therapist ASAP. The body dysmorphia hits hard and has to be felt with or it will destroy your tool. My issues are mine but I’m sure everyone with that much mental trauma will have some along the way. I started seeing a counselor and it helped a lot to be able to talk about how not normal that was. I have to work extremely hard every day to have a better relationship with food and am still learning how to love my body.

This was rambly and probably unhelpful. I really appreciate you sharing your story. It’s really nice to know I wasn’t the only one that went through something similar. I hope that your journey goes well and you find a way to deal with your parents.

Wow. I relate to this on so many levels. The starting weight watchers at such a young age... I thought I was the only one. I remember one summer in middle school my grandmother told me I didn’t need to be involved in extracurriculars at school so I could have time to focus on my waistline. Every diet that was available, I did it. I remember my mother making me read diet books like faith and fat loss and south beach diet along with so many others. Not even going all the way into the time she was convinced I was insulin resistant and I didn’t eat bread most of high school because I thought it would make me diabetic lol. Oh and I can’t forget about the year that I drank grapefruit juice or ate a grapefruit before every meal because that was going to ‘kick start’ my slow metabolism. I grew up hating my body because my mom would call herself fat and other derogatory terms and it definitely wore off on me. She still does this to this day. She asks me pretty much every time she sees me what size I wear and how much I weigh. It messes with my mind on a daily basis. It’s such a triggering thing for someone to do and I try daily to change the way she taught me to think about my body.

With all that said, I decided on the surgery for me and me alone. I don’t regret it at all and would do it a million times over again. But, with toxicity like this you should start preparing yourself to deal with that trauma. I honestly didn’t think I had issues with it until about a year after my surgery. Lol I never realized I never told my husband about any of it (I would joke about it in passing but never told him the extent of it) and one day my mom triggered me so bad I went on a tangent about it. He ended up in tears because he could never imagine going through that mentally. I suggest finding a counselor or therapist ASAP. The body dysmorphia hits hard and has to be felt with or it will destroy your tool. My issues are mine but I’m sure everyone with that much mental trauma will have some along the way. I started seeing a counselor and it helped a lot to be able to talk about how not normal that was. I have to work extremely hard every day to have a better relationship with food and am still learning how to love my body.

This was rambly and probably unhelpful. I really appreciate you sharing your story. It’s really nice to know I wasn’t the only one that went through something similar. I hope that your journey goes well and you find a way to deal with your parents.

Wow. I relate to this on so many levels. The starting weight watchers at such a young age... I thought I was the only one. I remember one summer in middle school my grandmother told me I didn’t need to be involved in extracurriculars at school so I could have time to focus on my waistline. Every diet that was available, I did it. I remember my mother making me read diet books like faith and fat loss and south beach diet along with so many others. Not even going all the way into the time she was convinced I was insulin resistant and I didn’t eat bread most of high school because I thought it would make me diabetic lol. Oh and I can’t forget about the year that I drank grapefruit juice or ate a grapefruit before every meal because that was going to ‘kick start’ my slow metabolism. I grew up hating my body because my mom would call herself fat and other derogatory terms and it definitely wore off on me. She still does this to this day. She asks me pretty much every time she sees me what size I wear and how much I weigh. It messes with my mind on a daily basis. It’s such a triggering thing for someone to do and I try daily to change the way she taught me to think about my body.

With all that said, I decided on the surgery for me and me alone. I don’t regret it at all and would do it a million times over again. But, with toxicity like this you should start preparing yourself to deal with that trauma. I honestly didn’t think I had issues with it until about a year after my surgery. Lol I never realized I never told my husband about any of it (I would joke about it in passing but never told him the extent of it) and one day my mom triggered me so bad I went on a tangent about it. He ended up in tears because he could never imagine going through that mentally. I suggest finding a counselor or therapist ASAP. The body dysmorphia hits hard and has to be felt with or it will destroy your tool. My issues are mine but I’m sure everyone with that much mental trauma will have some along the way. I started seeing a counselor and it helped a lot to be able to talk about how not normal that was. I have to work extremely hard every day to have a better relationship with food and am still learning how to love my body.

This was rambly and probably unhelpful. I really appreciate you sharing your story. It’s really nice to know I wasn’t the only one that went through something similar. I hope that your journey goes well and you find a way to deal with your parents.

Wow. I relate to this on so many levels. The starting weight watchers at such a young age... I thought I was the only one. I remember one summer in middle school my grandmother told me I didn’t need to be involved in extracurriculars at school so I could have time to focus on my waistline. Every diet that was available, I did it. I remember my mother making me read diet books like faith and fat loss and south beach diet along with so many others. Not even going all the way into the time she was convinced I was insulin resistant and I didn’t eat bread most of high school because I thought it would make me diabetic lol. Oh and I can’t forget about the year that I drank grapefruit juice or ate a grapefruit before every meal because that was going to ‘kick start’ my slow metabolism. I grew up hating my body because my mom would call herself fat and other derogatory terms and it definitely wore off on me. She still does this to this day. She asks me pretty much every time she sees me what size I wear and how much I weigh. It messes with my mind on a daily basis. It’s such a triggering thing for someone to do and I try daily to change the way she taught me to think about my body.

With all that said, I decided on the surgery for me and me alone. I don’t regret it at all and would do it a million times over again. But, with toxicity like this you should start preparing yourself to deal with that trauma. I honestly didn’t think I had issues with it until about a year after my surgery. Lol I never realized I never told my husband about any of it (I would joke about it in passing but never told him the extent of it) and one day my mom triggered me so bad I went on a tangent about it. He ended up in tears because he could never imagine going through that mentally. I suggest finding a counselor or therapist ASAP. The body dysmorphia hits hard and has to be felt with or it will destroy your tool. My issues are mine but I’m sure everyone with that much mental trauma will have some along the way. I started seeing a counselor and it helped a lot to be able to talk about how not normal that was. I have to work extremely hard every day to have a better relationship with food and am still learning how to love my body.

This was rambly and probably unhelpful. I really appreciate you sharing your story. It’s really nice to know I wasn’t the only one that went through something similar. I hope that your journey goes well and you find a way to deal with your parents.

Wow. I relate to this on so many levels. The starting weight watchers at such a young age... I thought I was the only one. I remember one summer in middle school my grandmother told me I didn’t need to be involved in extracurriculars at school so I could have time to focus on my waistline. Every diet that was available, I did it. I remember my mother making me read diet books like faith and fat loss and south beach diet along with so many others. Not even going all the way into the time she was convinced I was insulin resistant and I didn’t eat bread most of high school because I thought it would make me diabetic lol. Oh and I can’t forget about the year that I drank grapefruit juice or ate a grapefruit before every meal because that was going to ‘kick start’ my slow metabolism. I grew up hating my body because my mom would call herself fat and other derogatory terms and it definitely wore off on me. She still does this to this day. She asks me pretty much every time she sees me what size I wear and how much I weigh. It messes with my mind on a daily basis. It’s such a triggering thing for someone to do and I try daily to change the way she taught me to think about my body.

With all that said, I decided on the surgery for me and me alone. I don’t regret it at all and would do it a million times over again. But, with toxicity like this you should start preparing yourself to deal with that trauma. I honestly didn’t think I had issues with it until about a year after my surgery. Lol I never realized I never told my husband about any of it (I would joke about it in passing but never told him the extent of it) and one day my mom triggered me so bad I went on a tangent about it. He ended up in tears because he could never imagine going through that mentally. I suggest finding a counselor or therapist ASAP. The body dysmorphia hits hard and has to be felt with or it will destroy your tool. My issues are mine but I’m sure everyone with that much mental trauma will have some along the way. I started seeing a counselor and it helped a lot to be able to talk about how not normal that was. I have to work extremely hard every day to have a better relationship with food and am still learning how to love my body.

This was rambly and probably unhelpful. I really appreciate you sharing your story. It’s really nice to know I wasn’t the only one that went through something similar. I hope that your journey goes well and you find a way to deal with your parents.

I'm finding myself falling back into the trap of stress eating. I'm a year out and the last few weeks have probably been the most stressful of my life. I was doing really well handling my feelings because I was able to run and distract myself. The last few days though I haven't had time to run and have been finding myself looking for Snacks even though I know I'm not hungry. I know I should have the will power to just not eat something but its not that easy. If someone has any advice on this please help. I'm trying to avoid falling into bad and unhealthy habits of overeating and I could really use some words of encouragement or advice.

So I decided not to tell any family about my surgery until I had a date (hopefully scheduling for the first week in May as soon as my 90 days are up!) Well tonight my husband let it slip to his side of the fam over the phone. Apparently they think it’s too dangerous and not worth it. Tomorrow I have to mentally prepare myself to defend my decision in person at a family event and I am just not ready for that. He honestly didn’t think he was doing any harm so I’m not blaming it on him by any means. I just am so frazzled and worried. I could just use a little support and any advice on how others handled these types of situations.

I’m scared I’m developing bulimia. I’m 6 months out and down 87lbs. I’m so happy with my success and want to continue to lose (ideally I’d like to lose about 40 more). Lately I’ve become so scared of stretching my sleeve. It started with me eating past my point a little then throwing up because I was uncomfortable. Now I’m doing it daily if I eat more than I should. I know I need help but I don’t even know how to start finding the help. I’m scared I’m stretching my sleeve and scared of the consequences of throwing up so frequently but I can’t seem to stop. Please help or tell me how you got over this if it’s happened to you.

I was very involved in a couple WLS communities back before and after I had surgery in 2003. Here is what I remember:
There are as many eating plans as there are surgeons. Eat 3 meals a day. 6 meals a day, Drink Protein. Don't drink protein. Eat this. Don't eat this. Don't drink with meals. It's OK to drink with meals. And on and on.
What the successful people did is follow their plan, whatever it was. Most of us were horrible at following plans pre-op, it's how we got where we were. So it's a big ask for us to do it post-op. The plan seems less important than the mental commitment to follow a plan, period.
My 'adjustments' to plan:
1. Make sure to follow my plan. Meaning, meals of appropriate size, content, and frequency. Too little and I would get hungry between meals. I made them as appetizing and flavorful as possible. I discovered that trying to 'kick-start' anything resulted in failure. I discovered trying to eat less to increase weight loss resulted in (you guessed it) failure.
2. Distraction: Do something to occupy my mind completely.
3. Move. I didn't 'exercise' at all. Exercise for it's own sake was boring and painful. So, I just worked at doing stuff I liked: shopping, people-watching, museums, conventions. Anything that was out of the house, interesting, and time consuming.
4. sugar free Popsicles. Between meals they take several minutes to eat, my urge was satisfied, no damage to plan, and it was effectively drinking.
5. Drink. Water is good. So is SF Koolaid. Ice Tea. Variety helped me drink more, and flavors again helped satisfy urges to eat. Even now, while I can drink anything, I still go for non-sugar options.
6. [ETA] I was so big I could not fit on any scale but the one at the Docs office. This was a blessing because I couldn't see progress or lack of progress. After I could weigh at home, I still didn't because I didn't care by that point. The scale doesn't tell me what I need to know: Am I eating and feeling well? Are my clothes fitting? Why not? Adjust. I still only weigh when asked to at medical appointments.
The first 12 months are when lifetime habits were built. Now, it's ingrained.

Diet fatigue is completely normal. Increased hunger and cravings are a part of the process. Now you just need to reevaluate, and find new strategies to stay on program. What are you craving? Can you find healthy, low cal alternatives? You are hungrier, trying hydrating instead of eating? If you're still hungry, then have some low cal and or high Protein options on hand.
You definitely don't need to be perfect to be successful!

So I decided not to tell any family about my surgery until I had a date (hopefully scheduling for the first week in May as soon as my 90 days are up!) Well tonight my husband let it slip to his side of the fam over the phone. Apparently they think it’s too dangerous and not worth it. Tomorrow I have to mentally prepare myself to defend my decision in person at a family event and I am just not ready for that. He honestly didn’t think he was doing any harm so I’m not blaming it on him by any means. I just am so frazzled and worried. I could just use a little support and any advice on how others handled these types of situations.

I told my parents, knowing my dad was pretty staunchly against it. He's had people he's know that have had the surgery and either failed at the weight loss or had complications. I'm his kid so obviously he was worried about it. I told him to ask more people about it and he did, got some good responses and he wound up being ok with my decision and supporting me, even coming up the week of my surgery to help me recover. Deep down I still think he was just worried about me but I did a good job of articulating why I needed it and ignoring him when he made snarky comments lol.

I only told my husband. Not one other person. I am so glad I didn’t tell anyone. I am losing at a rate that no one has questioned I had surgery. I told everyone before I was using fitness pal app. To track my calories and exercise. Started that long before surgery. Anyways, when a friend had the sleeve she lost a lot of weight and did well. I mentioned it to a couple friends about getting the sleeve surgery and it was “oh, you don’t need that..” etc. so I didn’t go for the surgery then it cost me a lot of time. So I didn’t want talked out of it so I didn’t tell anyone. Then after I had it I didn’t want that to be my only conversation with people etc. I am so happy I didn’t tell anyone. If you decide to tell people I would wait until after surgery or right before so no one can change your mind. This was a great experience for me. Hope you have great success and a speedy recovery!

I have only told 2 family members, my mom and my aunt, my dad doesn't even know. I find it easier to tell strangers than it is to tell my own family.
They shouldn't judge you or be against you taking care of your health.
Wait until you have a date, until you start liquid diet, which I assume you have to be on, I didn't, but in the US, everyone does. It will give you more time, but also more information from your doctors etc. to inform them why this is something you want to do.
Good luck, best decission I ever made.

You got this, first just share it with hubby and get your game plan together. Have all your facts ready so when you decide to tell your family you can help ease their minds. When they see you excited, they most likely will be excited. Express how you know they may be scared and you may feel that way sometimes too but you see this as a new journey and would love to have them walk beside you!
I have told my core family and this time I that's all I'm telling. I was unbanded in 2012 due to erosion so I've been battling this decision within myself all these years in between. My hubby is FULLY onboard and very supportive. So hubby knows, my son knows, my mother-in-law knows, my sister knows and my two nieces. (My sis and one niece have had surgery Bypass and Sleeve) but it was after i was orginally banded in 2009. I was the first in my family.
You got this, I got my Pom Pom's Up for you

Seriously consider waiting to talk to them until you know for certain your surgery date (unless you want to be talked out of it - if you know thats what they'll do)