Darktowerdream

you all are too nice. thank you 😏 Honestly the last I was this weight was probably when I was a kid, even 9 or 10 Id say. And I always had body issues. I appreciate the feedback. Having plastics felt like it solidified my weight loss journey even though I still feel challenged to keep it up. And funny I get comments from my doctors as if Im too skinny now 🤣 Im only 5' i still feel like the fat kid. But Im grateful to have come this far. and wish the best for everyone else on this journey too.

I’ve never admitted these things to anyone, let alone on a public forum. You are not alone though. I’ve struggled almost all my life with chronic illness (immunodeficiency) starting in childhood, developing many medical conditions and symptoms over the years, disability, metabolic disorders, always fighting my weight, my self image, being on the autism spectrum, adhd, ocd and so on. But through it all, through a rough childhood. My own health challenges, my mother having spine surgeries and needing my help and support. I never had a life. I just have, I guess ... survived. I fought to lose weight alone - I guess it’s going on twelve years ago now if I had to guess. But never could hang on to it. I found myself losing ground. It was either fight for Bariatric surgery as a tool to finally help me or totally give up.

But will it fix the rest of me? Those deep rooted insecurities? My separation from the rest of the world due to chronic illness? I honestly cannot say that weight loss will fix these things. Especially not my chronic illness or disability. It’s like my doctor expecting miraculous changes when I just wanted to ease the burden on my body and at least be a healthy weight to better navigate.
it’s easy enough for people to say get out of your comfort zone. Been there done that, it’s gotten me nowhere but disaster and my chronic illness deeper into a decline. Of course this is just from my perspective. I’m not in a situation where I meet people. I can’t put myself out there. It’s not that simple. Nor is it Even for healthy people to do so.
I’ve never discussed it and I won’t even flat out say my own situation in detail either since this is a public forum because people can be condescending in their response to something like this. I remember someone once telling me that she thought I liked being stuck. As if I haven’t spent my whole life fighting every step of the way.
sometimes you need to just step back from yourself and take an objective look at the why of it all, what your hopes and expectations are, and where to go from there. Decide that you are worth it and take the leap forward and maybe you will find where you want to be.

I get enough Protein without meat I love No cow Protein Bars. If you need Protein Shake supplement Vega yea one I found I like. I am not vegan. I always ate a mix of vegetarian foods and meat but health reasons I slowly stopped eating meat. I did have eggs with a veggie burger (the actual vegetable style burger a way of getting veggies made in a way my gut could handle) Dr. Praeger's Cauliflower Burger and California Burgers have been my go to. I used to put egg on a small veggie burger. They have "Just egg" that is a vegetarian egg substitute that you can make your own scramble or omelette. There are many options not just Beans. You can take plant based omegas, Bragg Nutritional yeast, Vitamin K to name three I can think of as top supplements. Protein intake is based on body weight and activity base protein is 0.36 grams Protein per 1lb of body weight. and more based on type of diet and activity level. too much protein actually converts to sugar. I am now working through some issues not related to my surgery. but have reached goal and maintained since my surgery 2019.

I get enough Protein without meat I love No cow Protein Bars. If you need Protein Shake supplement Vega yea one I found I like. I am not vegan. I always ate a mix of vegetarian foods and meat but health reasons I slowly stopped eating meat. I did have eggs with a veggie burger (the actual vegetable style burger a way of getting veggies made in a way my gut could handle) Dr. Praeger's Cauliflower Burger and California Burgers have been my go to. I used to put egg on a small veggie burger. They have "Just egg" that is a vegetarian egg substitute that you can make your own scramble or omelette. There are many options not just Beans. You can take plant based omegas, Bragg Nutritional yeast, Vitamin K to name three I can think of as top supplements. Protein intake is based on body weight and activity base protein is 0.36 grams Protein per 1lb of body weight. and more based on type of diet and activity level. too much protein actually converts to sugar. I am now working through some issues not related to my surgery. but have reached goal and maintained since my surgery 2019.

I’ve never admitted these things to anyone, let alone on a public forum. You are not alone though. I’ve struggled almost all my life with chronic illness (immunodeficiency) starting in childhood, developing many medical conditions and symptoms over the years, disability, metabolic disorders, always fighting my weight, my self image, being on the autism spectrum, adhd, ocd and so on. But through it all, through a rough childhood. My own health challenges, my mother having spine surgeries and needing my help and support. I never had a life. I just have, I guess ... survived. I fought to lose weight alone - I guess it’s going on twelve years ago now if I had to guess. But never could hang on to it. I found myself losing ground. It was either fight for Bariatric surgery as a tool to finally help me or totally give up.

But will it fix the rest of me? Those deep rooted insecurities? My separation from the rest of the world due to chronic illness? I honestly cannot say that weight loss will fix these things. Especially not my chronic illness or disability. It’s like my doctor expecting miraculous changes when I just wanted to ease the burden on my body and at least be a healthy weight to better navigate.
it’s easy enough for people to say get out of your comfort zone. Been there done that, it’s gotten me nowhere but disaster and my chronic illness deeper into a decline. Of course this is just from my perspective. I’m not in a situation where I meet people. I can’t put myself out there. It’s not that simple. Nor is it Even for healthy people to do so.
I’ve never discussed it and I won’t even flat out say my own situation in detail either since this is a public forum because people can be condescending in their response to something like this. I remember someone once telling me that she thought I liked being stuck. As if I haven’t spent my whole life fighting every step of the way.
sometimes you need to just step back from yourself and take an objective look at the why of it all, what your hopes and expectations are, and where to go from there. Decide that you are worth it and take the leap forward and maybe you will find where you want to be.

I went with Hospital BC in Tijuana Mexico, they are affiliated with BariatricPal and the only U.S, owned Hospital there. I had belt lipectomy with butterfly lift, medial thigh lift and breast augmentation. Everything was included, transportation to and from the airport, 7 night hospital stay, meals 24, hour care, pre op testing, Faja (x2) compression stockings, etc. $14,350 this also included my companion. I paid $366.40 for two people to fly round trip via Delta airlines. I did have one unexpected expense around $700 but that was all. My surgery was very long. I’m in the process of recovery since I had it June 15th. My surgeon is awesome 👏 I highly recommend them. They have 24 hour valet, nurse and doctor. Even when a nurse could not speak much English I felt they communicated well, and when they needed it the valet translates. I felt safe and knew my Dr. did a good surgery and the staff took care of me despite it being a challenging time due to COVID-19.
https://hospitalbc.com

Last night was Back to School night for my 1st grader. Well you know how small their little desks and chairs are, and they had the parents sit and their child's desk.
I fit perfectly! I think I looked really cute sitting there too, if I do say so myself. I would have taken a selfie if I could have gotten away without anyone noticing. Ha ha ha!!

I’ve never admitted these things to anyone, let alone on a public forum. You are not alone though. I’ve struggled almost all my life with chronic illness (immunodeficiency) starting in childhood, developing many medical conditions and symptoms over the years, disability, metabolic disorders, always fighting my weight, my self image, being on the autism spectrum, adhd, ocd and so on. But through it all, through a rough childhood. My own health challenges, my mother having spine surgeries and needing my help and support. I never had a life. I just have, I guess ... survived. I fought to lose weight alone - I guess it’s going on twelve years ago now if I had to guess. But never could hang on to it. I found myself losing ground. It was either fight for Bariatric surgery as a tool to finally help me or totally give up.

But will it fix the rest of me? Those deep rooted insecurities? My separation from the rest of the world due to chronic illness? I honestly cannot say that weight loss will fix these things. Especially not my chronic illness or disability. It’s like my doctor expecting miraculous changes when I just wanted to ease the burden on my body and at least be a healthy weight to better navigate.
it’s easy enough for people to say get out of your comfort zone. Been there done that, it’s gotten me nowhere but disaster and my chronic illness deeper into a decline. Of course this is just from my perspective. I’m not in a situation where I meet people. I can’t put myself out there. It’s not that simple. Nor is it Even for healthy people to do so.
I’ve never discussed it and I won’t even flat out say my own situation in detail either since this is a public forum because people can be condescending in their response to something like this. I remember someone once telling me that she thought I liked being stuck. As if I haven’t spent my whole life fighting every step of the way.
sometimes you need to just step back from yourself and take an objective look at the why of it all, what your hopes and expectations are, and where to go from there. Decide that you are worth it and take the leap forward and maybe you will find where you want to be.

I've not posted in a while but
People on the Autism spectrum also have higher rates of issues with food and weight and metabolism and digestive disorders. But I don't think I'd be on a forum specific to Autism even though I am on the spectrum. I also live with lifelong chronic illness and disability, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, many medical conditions including pcos, adult onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia ...
is it necessary to have a forum specific to these or to just focus the weight loss journey itself? Men and women might have some different caloric and Protein needs and also based on age and current weight (example calculating protein intake based on weight)
but otherwise the weight loss journey itself is similar for everyone. Unless it's specific medical conditions for example I literally am unable to exercise without causing physical symptoms and damage. So I have to adapt how I do things. But we all still share a similar path.
I answer only because you seem to think that if someone says why, that somehow means they feel threatened or upset by your question.
In the grand scheme of things it's just not a big part of the weight loss journey. The subject isn't taboo it can be discussed any time. But doesn't play much of a role in why we are here.

@ChubRub I have wanted to say something and just have been overwhelmed and exhausted but you look absolutely amazing! I would like some touch ups too but doubt it is in the cards for me. Flat Tummy looking awesome it is a win for sure. helps make feel that hard work of the WLS journey was worth it. To see the excess skin gone too.
I am finding I might have a connective tissue disorder that effects collagen so no amount of collagen supplements can help my skin or joints I worry return of laxity and already have some in areas (calves, back of knees, inside of knees) seeking diagnosis. of course there is more pressing issue to do with bones and joints and such. Just frustrating. I have not had anyone to talk to. I found out it tends to effect people who have had Gastric bypass surgery (digestive problems) so all signs are there since I am having major issue there even now two years out. likely due to this not the WLS itself.
sorry went off on Tangent. I cant stay in a straight line. Just why I have not been around much. Keeping it vague because I dont want to take away from your awesome post. My scars are mostly fading pretty well and I am reaching my one year post plastics very soon.

I have read that since gas does not go into the stomach after bypass or stay in the pouch it travels directly to the small intestine which is below the ribs on the left side, try to avoid gassy foods and take digestive enzymes with meals (chewables) and see how you feel. It tends to get trapped in the blind portion of small intestine as well (at least from some reading I have done) if it persists then you investigate further.

It’s been a little over 3 months, so here are some updated progress pics! Scar continues to fade, but it’s not like anyone sees it anyway! I love my flat tummy and someday will treat myself to a spray tan so I can really enjoy it! Lol!!

Loving my new body!

I've not posted in a while but
People on the Autism spectrum also have higher rates of issues with food and weight and metabolism and digestive disorders. But I don't think I'd be on a forum specific to Autism even though I am on the spectrum. I also live with lifelong chronic illness and disability, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, many medical conditions including pcos, adult onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia ...
is it necessary to have a forum specific to these or to just focus the weight loss journey itself? Men and women might have some different caloric and Protein needs and also based on age and current weight (example calculating protein intake based on weight)
but otherwise the weight loss journey itself is similar for everyone. Unless it's specific medical conditions for example I literally am unable to exercise without causing physical symptoms and damage. So I have to adapt how I do things. But we all still share a similar path.
I answer only because you seem to think that if someone says why, that somehow means they feel threatened or upset by your question.
In the grand scheme of things it's just not a big part of the weight loss journey. The subject isn't taboo it can be discussed any time. But doesn't play much of a role in why we are here.

I've not posted in a while but
People on the Autism spectrum also have higher rates of issues with food and weight and metabolism and digestive disorders. But I don't think I'd be on a forum specific to Autism even though I am on the spectrum. I also live with lifelong chronic illness and disability, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, many medical conditions including pcos, adult onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia ...
is it necessary to have a forum specific to these or to just focus the weight loss journey itself? Men and women might have some different caloric and Protein needs and also based on age and current weight (example calculating protein intake based on weight)
but otherwise the weight loss journey itself is similar for everyone. Unless it's specific medical conditions for example I literally am unable to exercise without causing physical symptoms and damage. So I have to adapt how I do things. But we all still share a similar path.
I answer only because you seem to think that if someone says why, that somehow means they feel threatened or upset by your question.
In the grand scheme of things it's just not a big part of the weight loss journey. The subject isn't taboo it can be discussed any time. But doesn't play much of a role in why we are here.

I've not posted in a while but
People on the Autism spectrum also have higher rates of issues with food and weight and metabolism and digestive disorders. But I don't think I'd be on a forum specific to Autism even though I am on the spectrum. I also live with lifelong chronic illness and disability, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, many medical conditions including pcos, adult onset congenital adrenal hyperplasia ...
is it necessary to have a forum specific to these or to just focus the weight loss journey itself? Men and women might have some different caloric and Protein needs and also based on age and current weight (example calculating protein intake based on weight)
but otherwise the weight loss journey itself is similar for everyone. Unless it's specific medical conditions for example I literally am unable to exercise without causing physical symptoms and damage. So I have to adapt how I do things. But we all still share a similar path.
I answer only because you seem to think that if someone says why, that somehow means they feel threatened or upset by your question.
In the grand scheme of things it's just not a big part of the weight loss journey. The subject isn't taboo it can be discussed any time. But doesn't play much of a role in why we are here.

I’ve never admitted these things to anyone, let alone on a public forum. You are not alone though. I’ve struggled almost all my life with chronic illness (immunodeficiency) starting in childhood, developing many medical conditions and symptoms over the years, disability, metabolic disorders, always fighting my weight, my self image, being on the autism spectrum, adhd, ocd and so on. But through it all, through a rough childhood. My own health challenges, my mother having spine surgeries and needing my help and support. I never had a life. I just have, I guess ... survived. I fought to lose weight alone - I guess it’s going on twelve years ago now if I had to guess. But never could hang on to it. I found myself losing ground. It was either fight for Bariatric surgery as a tool to finally help me or totally give up.

But will it fix the rest of me? Those deep rooted insecurities? My separation from the rest of the world due to chronic illness? I honestly cannot say that weight loss will fix these things. Especially not my chronic illness or disability. It’s like my doctor expecting miraculous changes when I just wanted to ease the burden on my body and at least be a healthy weight to better navigate.
it’s easy enough for people to say get out of your comfort zone. Been there done that, it’s gotten me nowhere but disaster and my chronic illness deeper into a decline. Of course this is just from my perspective. I’m not in a situation where I meet people. I can’t put myself out there. It’s not that simple. Nor is it Even for healthy people to do so.
I’ve never discussed it and I won’t even flat out say my own situation in detail either since this is a public forum because people can be condescending in their response to something like this. I remember someone once telling me that she thought I liked being stuck. As if I haven’t spent my whole life fighting every step of the way.
sometimes you need to just step back from yourself and take an objective look at the why of it all, what your hopes and expectations are, and where to go from there. Decide that you are worth it and take the leap forward and maybe you will find where you want to be.

I am on the Autism spectrum and my surgeon did know this along with my entire medical history but I was also very straightforward and clear in my intentions on fighting for weight loss surgery. I did have assistance from my mother with all the phone calls with doctors and staff to make sure they got all the vital information for insurance and such. They said I didn’t need psych clearance. But because of childhood experience with the gamut of psychiatrists and psychologists I have not been seeing anyone and cope the best I can manage with my mother occasionally being somewhat of an interpreter. Or I write things down I need to explain. If your psychologist knows that you understand the surgery and exactly what is expected of you afterward than maybe they might be more supportive? I might be on the spectrum and not very well functioning socially and my post op has not been easy but I did ensure the surgeon that I could and would follow rules and knew this was simply a tool to help with my extreme difficulty losing weight with metabolic disorders and such.
Sorry if I’m not good at my explanations but being on the spectrum should not hold you back unless you yourself don’t believe you can follow post surgery guidelines in changing your eating habits.

Looking great @ChubRub

my drain was in longer than most. I didnt bother hiding it when I went out 🤣 which wasnt all that often. I even have of tohose belt things with a pocket for it but never used it. I took my drain out myself when it was time. We waited until the output was low enough. I was surprised I only had the one drain for three surgeries.

@ms.sss Honestly I researched them endlessly to buy one but couldn't budget it in I get emails with deals and this happened to be in one of them just recently its one of the best I have seen of the bed wedges since its adjustable and also a cooling memory foam.

I was not very good at keeping measurements pre and post op. I did probably lose and inch to an inch and a half in my waist, my hips like 1.5" also my underbust area is smaller my bust gained 2" projection Id say? yet my overall weight did go up a little bit post op. perhaps mainly due to some challenges Im having. sometimes its reasonable I mean for the most part except after some recent tests its below my goal.

sorry. Im tired. I wanted to buy a bed wedge I never did for the foot of the bed or whatever I rolled up a weighted blanket I had and propped a pillow on that but this might be something you might be interested in
https://www.amazon.com/Cooling-Bed-Wedge-Pillow-Adjustable/dp/B088C4Q3JP/ref=sr_1_43?dchild=1&keywords=Gel+Firm+Memory+Foam+Standard+Wedge+Pillow&qid=1611353815&sr=8-43
I got some good bras on Amazon as well.
keep wearing the Faja. I wear mine to bed. And do try the Turmeric and also limit salt intake for a bit. Hopefully the swelling will come down. maybe you need some massage with some oils. One nice thing about the Hospital BC I got lymphatic massage each day I was there. Couldnt have it at home but I think it helped.

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B07SG5H8KF/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_4?smid=ARDJXY8HB6KO5&psc=1

Now I remember, my Mom knows someone in Naples - I bet you have some beautiful nature preserves by you. The one and only thing I love about Florida is the wildlife. Especially the birds. Love at first sight! I just had a little 15X zoom panasonic Lumix but I tried. I remember seeing the Roseate Spoonbill the first time just a splotch of pink in a tree at night. But I do love alligators, lizards, butterflies, dragonflies ... I can live without invasive insects though now thats a story I wont get into.

We came in 2012 for a visit and basically never left 🤣 we were staying in my mother's brother's condo for a while. circumstances had it that my Mom had opportunity to move here and I did not want her to let it go, but in order to afford living here we had to move in together. Long story. I had to pack and put in a single small moving unit (I forget what its called) our two apartments. well at least we were already neighbors ... anything we couldnt bring I had to give up to family or donate. like my brand new IKEA couch (thats how unplanned it was)

I go off on Tangents too much 😂 I hope you are keeping comfortable and your incisions are healing well. Try taking turmeric gummies for the swelling. If you can find Garden of Life brand I liked that one best. Its my favorite multi Vitamin as well. Not always in my budget though but its the best. since its whole food based. I also took a lot of collagen (still do) along with a hair, skin, nails Gummy vitamin. there is a Biocell chew that has collagen and turmeric too.

@ChubRub I'm sad I feel so bad I missed that your surgery date came up but it makes me so happy for you that its happened and now the road to healing starts. You look absolutely awesome even with swelling the results are fab! I was thinking about you and for the life of me could not remember the date and here it passed. I had 200cc implants I did wonder if I had gone big enough to fill all the loose sagging skin thats all I had left. I had sagging skin of a 90 year old. I get it. and such a relief to have it gone. I see you got a recliner. I just had my bed, a step stool to get up and a bunch of pillows. I used a blowdryer to dry off my incisions after my showers before getting into the Faja. I didnt have much sun exposure these past months since surgery and most of my incisions are now looking pretty well healed just a few dark areas. I used a wound care wash I bought on Amazon after showers that helped a lot. (before drying off) and a propolis, silver, tea tree cream (dont know the name it wasnt in english) I havent checked around often my desktop had problems I ended up having to replace it and waiting on it is taking a while. I had a tablet but dont right now and I dont even have a cell phone (well just a old one not a smart phone I need to replace but not sure what im doing there) i using my moms old laptop for the moment. and things are just out of whack with me. sorry Im so out of the loop here. But you do look amazing!

I just read that a few times because that is the month I had my gastric bypass surgery ... around Easter I was in a bad place my birthday was coming around and the weight was piling on despite every effort to fight it ... I did not think the surgery was going to happen I found out a week before it was scheduled April 29th 2019 and now I cannot believe April this year will be two years???

Has it already been eight months since I had plastics? I am not good with tracking time ... June 14 2020.
I still have not worn a swimsuit officially but with the whole Covid thing I havent gone to the pool here and I have chemical sensitivities and not sure I wanted to risk my sensitive skin with chlorine ... I wish they would do salt Water pools but they would never convert them ... they are shared pools per condo association. My Mom goes swimming as often as is possible.

sorry your post got me thinking (thats dangerous!) probably for the best not to be too active right now. and thankfully the humidity is not too bad right now. took a while for me to be able to venture out for a walk around the nature preserves I love.

7DPO! Still can’t believe this is my body! Took a new pic! Flanks are still pretty swollen, but the rest of the swelling has gone down a lot!

even non surgery I cant find that! I had a tough time with position, I mainly ended up on my back with pillows under my head and propping up my lower legs as much as I could while shifting my hips to take some pressure off and sometimes shoving something either rolled up towel or small pillow to try to take some pressure off my backside. I could not get comfortable sleeping on my side with the implants and read its best to sleep on your back awhile so they settle in place. Even now I find myself on my back when normally I sleep on one side or the other. Though honestly I just naturally toss and turn a lot so post surgery being stuck in one position was tough. The fact that you are getting good sleep is excellent. You do want to sleep in bed with your head elevated somewhat with pillows it has to do with the implants settling into position. I had so many areas tugging against eachother It made it a challenge to sleep especially after my T incision on my thigh lift opened ... I had to let it air out and dry sans Faja for a little while then secondary wound healing. but now its as if that didnt happen ...

honestly its just about time and patience.
@ChubRub Where in Florida are you?