Jaelzion

I'm closing in my surgery date for my tummy tuck. I've had all the pre-op work-up and it appears I have a green light! I'm nervous, excited, scared, and happy all at the same time!

I'm sorry you don't have the support you need. Do you have the kind of relationship with your husband where you can just say "Hey I'm feeling really nervous about this upcoming surgery and I need to know you're in this with me". If you want him with you (if he would be allowed, due to COVID he still might not be), can you just ask - "I'd feel better if you would come with me"? He might be clueless, as you said, but once made aware that he's not supporting you enough, maybe he would do better? Try not to hold it against the family that they are eating, nothing has changed from their perspective - it's business as usual. Things like parties and cookouts will happen all along the way both before and after your surgery. You'll learn to be comfortable with your eating plan and in all likelihood, it will be a LOT easier after surgery. Hang in there and lean on us. The forum is open 24/7 and there's almost always someone online. Best wishes! Edit to add: I'm in the Bay Area too (North Bay these days, but I grew up in San Francisco).

YAY!!! I'm 5'1" also - I started at 250 pounds and my current weight is about 122. I can relate to everything you've said! I'm really happy for you, enjoy the fruits of your success. There's a (smaller but real) learning curve to successful maintenance too, but I'm sure you've got this and this forum is here to provide all the advice you could ask for! Congratulations.

I agree - "why" is a key question. I expressed it this way in an earlier post:

My standard response when I was still losing was "We'll see". It worked pretty well - inoffensive but it kind of ended that line of discussion, LOL.

Getting down to 115 would give you a BMI of 20.4. I'm 2 inches shorter than you and I could probably get down to 115 but I'm pretty sure I couldn't maintain it. Your new goal of 130 would give you a BMI of 23.0. Still nicely within the healthy range.

I couldn't eat for my first two weeks after surgery. I lived on clear protein drinks (not shakes). They were good because 1) I could swallow them and keep them down, 2) they kept me hydrated and 3) they gave me protein as well. It was week 3 when I started eating again (things like yogurt, pudding, etc.)

The pre-op diet sucked. Mine was a 10-day liquid diet and I broke down on day 4 or so and ate a yogurt. It was just really difficult for me. Hang in there, this too shall pass.

I don't discuss my health care with everyone and I also don't tell lies or make things up. People shouldn't feel they have to do one or the other. It's fine to simply not discuss it.

Yep, I had these. Mostly after taking a sip of liquid, but sometimes just because. It's not uncommon, I've heard people refer to it as a "cramp" (that's what I called it), a "pinch", or a spasm. For me it had completely passed by week 3. Definitely ask your surgeon about it though, there's no way we can know whether what you experiencing is due to the same cause. Always best to be safe.

I dropped down to 118 at one point, which was too thin for my comfort. I added more fat and carbs and that took care of itself! I still didn't eat junk food, my extra fat/carbs was in the form of granola, sweet potatoes, nuts, avocado, etc. I've always been very carb-sensitive, so reducing or adding carbs works really well to throttle my weight loss up or down.

This is good, I'm stealing this!

I'm super glad I did it. I've lost all the weight I needed to lose and I've adjusted to a new way of eating. It's not effortless, but it's not a big struggle to stay on program, either. It takes a bit of discipline and dedication but the surgery itself changed my desire for food (in a good way). My appetite is much more tame now and even my cravings are not nearly as strong. Not everyone has that experience, so your mileage may vary. I was prepped pretty well before surgery. I only wish I had read a few more first-hand accounts so I would have been aware of how miserable the first few days can be, but also that the misery passes pretty quickly. I do think I will be able to maintain my weight. I'm learning how to maintain, while still participating in special occasions, traditional meals, etc. So far, I'm staying squarely within my maintenance window (120-125). Only you can decide if you're ready to take the plunge. It is a pretty radical life change. Your relationship with food will be permanently changed and you'll have to be mindful about what and how you eat, forever. In the beginning, the diet is pretty restricted, but before long you'll have more options and in the end, there will probably be few things you can't eat (if any). You'll have to learn what works for you and what doesn't, post-surgery. The surgery helps a lot, but the commitment has to come from you. And as everyone has said, if there's an emotional or psychological component to your overeating, the surgery won't fix that. You'll have to work on that so that, as you lose weight, you also heal the root cause of why you became overweight to begin with. Many people have had bariatric surgery, lost an amazing amount of weight, and then gained most of it back because they were still using food to cope. So you have to work on your inside as much as you do your outside. I wish you the best in making your decision, the surgery is a big commitment, but for me it was totally worth it.

I'm very sorry you're going through this. After all the struggle, anxiety, effort, discipline and determination of the pre-op process, it would be devastating to wake up and find out your surgery could not proceed. Please do be gentle with yourself, give yourself time to process what has happened before determining next steps. I'll second the suggestion to talk to a therapist - it can be really helpful. When you've recovered, physically, mentally, emotionally, I might consider finding a new surgeon. Aborting may have been the right medical decision, but because your doctor came across as uncaring and insincere, your trust in him has been compromised. Or perhaps when you talk to him again, you'll find that he's not as indifferent as it seemed in the moment. Either way, focus on self-care and when you're ready, I hope you'll find the motivation to keep pushing toward your goal. Hugs.

Yep, it takes a while to learn what "full" feels like now. I did the same thing once. Once. ☝️

I call these "munchie" days, LOL. Interestingly, they often happen right before I drop a couple of pounds (even when I eat a little more that day).

Is it that you're actually feeling hungry? Or just that you're not feeling full? Those really are two different things. You might not feel "full" in the way you did before surgery because your tummy has been re-routed and your diet radically changed. But that doesn't mean you're hungry. I've seen many vets on here tell people not to chase the full feeling but instead to just eat until satisfied (no longer hungry). Could it just be that you are used to feeling "full" after you eat and it's different now?

Is your profile correct that you had your surgery in August of 2020? What you're describing is really common in the early days and even first weeks after surgery. But it's surprising you're experiencing it this many months out. I'd definitely check with the doctor. It's possible you could have developed a stricture (a narrowing of the esophagus) that won't allow food and water to pass easily. It's worth checking out. Hope you feel better soon!

I'm having B12 issues myself at the moment and yes, I have the pins and needles tingling sensation in my arms and legs. I'm also pretty dizzy (I've fallen 3 times in the last week) and my heart is pounding. I've even lost my voice due to paralyzed vocal cords. B12 deficiency can cause a lot of different neurological symptoms. In my case, I was only directed to take B12 once a week and for two years that was sufficient. But lately I've been eating less and less meat (not vegan or vegetarian, I just don't have much taste for it). And all of a sudden, I'm B12 deficient! I take it daily now.

Between the Demerol and the Versed, there's nothing to it. You'll be good.

I do have fruit pretty regularly but not much in the way of veggies. It's hard for me to meet my protein goals and still fit veggies in. We're told to eat protein first, then veggies and when I get done with the protein, I'm pretty much stuffed.

My childhood experience was similar. My Dad despised fat people and was very vocal about it. He made a kind of "mental exception" for me because he loved me, but of course, I applied every disdainful thing he said about fat people to myself. My mom was thin and obsessed about staying that way. She was always suggesting diets or strategies for me to lose weight. It was very hard growing up in that household and retaining any kind of self-esteem or confidence. I think my shopping habit dates back to my upbringing - my parents loved to dress really nicely but because I was big, I was always kind of dumpy by comparison. My parents were not bad people, but they were flawed, broken human beings. In my Dad's case, his mother was physically abusive and she was heavy-set. I'm guessing his disdain of fat people started right then. My Mom's mother abandoned her and SHE was heavy-set. So as I got older and understood some of the roots of their attitudes, I forgave them and healed somewhat from all the childhood trauma. Ironically, they both passed away before my surgery, so they never saw me thin. They'd be ecstatic, LOL.

Exactly. These are actually good (and high in protein).

I agree with the advice to consult your surgeon, but what you are describing is very common. I referred to it as a "cramp", some people call it a "pinch". For me, it would hit about two seconds after taking a sip...one one-thousand, two one-thousand, CRAMP. It lasted a while for me, it went away in week 3. Definitely run it by your surgeon just in case, but don't stress too much, a lot of us have been through it. Hope you feel better soon! Edit: Just to help you feel better, I did a quick search and found a few examples of other people who had that pain after drinking: https://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/433212-cramping-feeling-after-swallowing/?tab=comments#comment-4880784 https://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/436205-hard-to-swallow-offer-surgery/?tab=comments#comment-4913492 https://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/434844-cramps-when-eating/?tab=comments#comment-4899654 https://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/435205-everything-tastes-gross/?tab=comments#comment-4903524 https://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/436915-pain-with-drinking/?tab=comments#comment-4921262 It's super common, but worth mentioning to your surgeon.

It's. Too. Soon. I promise.