Krestel

Why do I keep hurting myself? Even if Im losing the weight, I can still feel my old habits clinging to me. I was really stressed this past week and ate at a fast food place and thought for some reason that I could eat my old meal. It turned out to be sooo not true and I felt sick after it. This is not the first time Ive done this kind of thing since surgery, but I seem not to be learning from the experience. So even if Ive been creating some really great new habits, my old ones are still hurting me. At 5 months out, I still have lots to learn about myself and my body. So even with all the weight loss, my journey isn't all that great since I know that if I keep doing this sh*t to myself, I am going to go back to my old weight after the honeymoon is over. 

Found a wonderful cafe in downtown Stockholm that served wonderful smoothie "bowls". Got a greek yoghurt bowl with granola, all sorts of berries, and some honey. Was sooo delish. I hate sitting in cafes that only have sweet options cuz I really feel bad after eating a cinnamon bun.

If anyone is thinking about coming to Stockholm, I definitely have some bariatric tips.

One-derville has been passed today. Sort of a mental milestone, but I still have more to do/lose. Although it's nice to get over that hurdle for once (and all?).

I baked a gross of (144) chocolate chip cookies for the coffee break (fika) at work. The cool part was that I managed to not eat a single one of them. Not only that but I finished with my baking by 11pm and got up at 5am for my doggie walk before work. This time it was MUCH easier to skip the cookies since I was thinking about dumping in the back of my mind. That and the damn gremlins (oops I mean  grehlins) are on vacation at the moment.

How can a bowel movement make me lose almost 4 pounds? How much poo am I full of?

Ok, now im getting old...my body gets me up at my normal 5am dog walk even when it's the weekend, vacation, and most importantly when I'm sick. So now that I have more energy, my body wants to make sure I suffer even longer during the day when I have a cold! Damn being healthy again! (:D)

First head cold since the surgery....at least I know that my body is back to "normal". /sigh

Me: Hey Siri, Is it raining outside? (for my morning walks with the dogs)

Siri: I don't think it's raining at the moment.

Wet Dogs: Then why are we wet? This damn Siri person is more stupid than we are.

It's easier to create new babits than to break old ones.

I really like my 5am walks with the dogs. I can't even believe that I would ever say that, but I truly look forward to them in the mornings. Nothing beats happy dogs when you're grumpy! I even got a new (much smaller) high-visibility jacket in order to keep warm this winter and be seen even if it's dark. Since we have wooded trails close by that no-one uses (especially in the dark and during bad weather), I can let them off their leashes and run around and get in touch with their  wild gogginess. I can't wait for it to get reeeally cold (and snowy) so that I have to buy new snow pants as well.

Goal setting should be something you have total control over. I was thinking about this the other day. Weight loss is not something we have total control over, but eating a certain number of calories or exercising a number of times per week is.

I realized this when I was thinking about how my students set goals for getting better grades. Getting the grade they want is only partially within their power. So if they don't get the better grade they worked towards, then the positive behaviour they have formed will be seen as useless even if it's going to eventually get them to their goal.

We've all played these games, but I think many times our goal setting misses the point. Choose something we have control over and measure ourselves that way rather than using something that can at times seem arbitrary. 

Today was a really tough day and I turned to food (and a watered down glass of wine). The interesting part was that I felt REALLY full after eating half my go to cheat snack, tortilla chips with cheese. So the GBP is doing its job!

The only way I can tell that I'm losing weight is from the scale and my clothes "getting bigger".

I can now buy clothes in normal stores again. Admittedly the first time when I started trying on clothes, I really had to keep myself calm. Normally trying on clothes causes me to become SOOO depressed that it take weeks just to get over it. Now, I have to keep myself from not wanting to buy everything!