BlueIGT

The only one who knows I will be having vsg/sleeve on 7/28 is my boyfriend. Too many people would try and talk me outta of it. I’m 220 5’3. I have high blood pressure and pre diabetic sleep apnea and cholesterol issues. I just want my health back

My kids don't even know, only my husband. I just didn't want to deal with judgment or gossip, so I've kept everything private. When people comment that I look thin, I joke that I've been on a quarantine diet and since all the restaurants are closed, I had no choice but to finally learn how to cook a healthy meal!

I struggle with this also. I have everyone telling me I am so tiny now and skin and bones...which I don't see. I try to explain to them that what they see and what I see when I look in the mirror or at my body are two very different things. I don't deny that I am a whole lot smaller than I used to be, but thin and skin and bones doesn't really seem rational in my eyes. I am well aware that it is body dysmorphia . I do look at side by side pictures of before and after and I do see the difference. I don't still see myself as heavy as I used to be but I don't see the thin. Some days I can see it in my face and then the next day my face looks really puffy and big. It's a really strange game our minds play on us.

It took me many years of of being self conscious of everything about myself. I worried about what other people saw when they looked at me, worried that they were judging me. I let what I thought they were thinking about me stop me from doing things I wanted to do. I let what I thought they were thinking about me rule my world and my how I viewed myself. But one day in my early 40's I had a really good conversation with myself. I decided that on that day forward I would not let what I thought others thought of me affect me in anyway. In fact I no longer cared what others thought of me, I only cared what I thought of me. Some days I liked me, some days I didn't and that was okay.

I realized that I gave 40 years of my life to people I didn't know. Who cares what they think? Not me, not anymore. I used to walk with my head down so I could avoid eye contact. Then I started walking with my head raised high and I looked at their foreheads, not their eyes because I wasn't ready to make eye contact. But I held my head high, I was not ashamed of myself, or my weight anymore. We are all different and if they wanted they judge me based solely on my weight or what I ate, then screw them. The more I held my head high the more I really didn't care. It's my life not theirs. I spent so much of my life worrying about other's peoples opinion about me. Opinions I never heard, I just assumed that's what they were thinking.

At the end of the day, what other's think of me is none of my business. If they want to judge me without knowing me, it's their loss not mine. I am caring, funny, and loving person and honestly I have no time for judgmental people, they are downers and I want to live a positive happy life. If I could wish for one thing for anyone struggling with their weight or self image, I wish they would learn this lesson that I learned in my 40's when they were your age. I wish I felt this way back then. I wish you felt this way, it takes time but you can. Baby steps. You are special, you are not your weight, you are you, you are one of a kind. You are beautiful no matter what, you just need to believe it and stop caring about what other's think.

I told my husband and that is the only person I told. I am not ashamed about having the surgery. I had two people in my family that had it and had no success with it, however they did not follow the program. I knew that I felt very dedicated to the process and I thought I would succeed and I didn't want to feel like I was rubbing it in their face. You really need to be in the right head space for this to be successful. You need to be all in and they weren't.

For the first few weeks I told people I had the flu. now with covid out there I guess I would pick a different reason, such as a hernia like mentioned above. I am also a private person, I don't really discuss any medical issues with anyone other than my husband so I don't see why this would be different.

It's a personal choice and whatever you feel comfortable with. You can tell people at a later date if you wish to, but once you let the cat out of the bag there is no putting it back in. I have not regretted not telling anyone about the surgery and when they ask for advice I give them advice from when I previously took off over a 100 pounds on my own (before gaining back due to the death of a parent and so much stress). Tracking food, drinking Water, being active and being dedicated.

If anyone brings up surgery I talk about it as I tell them I researched it and that it doesn't seem like a bad option either and suggest that they find forums that they can read about other people's experiences.

It took me many years of of being self conscious of everything about myself. I worried about what other people saw when they looked at me, worried that they were judging me. I let what I thought they were thinking about me stop me from doing things I wanted to do. I let what I thought they were thinking about me rule my world and my how I viewed myself. But one day in my early 40's I had a really good conversation with myself. I decided that on that day forward I would not let what I thought others thought of me affect me in anyway. In fact I no longer cared what others thought of me, I only cared what I thought of me. Some days I liked me, some days I didn't and that was okay.

I realized that I gave 40 years of my life to people I didn't know. Who cares what they think? Not me, not anymore. I used to walk with my head down so I could avoid eye contact. Then I started walking with my head raised high and I looked at their foreheads, not their eyes because I wasn't ready to make eye contact. But I held my head high, I was not ashamed of myself, or my weight anymore. We are all different and if they wanted they judge me based solely on my weight or what I ate, then screw them. The more I held my head high the more I really didn't care. It's my life not theirs. I spent so much of my life worrying about other's peoples opinion about me. Opinions I never heard, I just assumed that's what they were thinking.

At the end of the day, what other's think of me is none of my business. If they want to judge me without knowing me, it's their loss not mine. I am caring, funny, and loving person and honestly I have no time for judgmental people, they are downers and I want to live a positive happy life. If I could wish for one thing for anyone struggling with their weight or self image, I wish they would learn this lesson that I learned in my 40's when they were your age. I wish I felt this way back then. I wish you felt this way, it takes time but you can. Baby steps. You are special, you are not your weight, you are you, you are one of a kind. You are beautiful no matter what, you just need to believe it and stop caring about what other's think.

I’m no longer obese!!!! I have been obese since I’m 5 years old. This is an amazing accomplishment for me. I never thought I’d get to this point. I can go shopping in whichever store I fancy. My last shopping trip EVERY item I took into the dressing room FIT! I had to get out of there fast. I came home and balled my eyes out... it’s crazy!!!! I am so thankful for this... I can’t explain the emotion going on inside me so I won’t try, all I’m going to say is, if anyone out there is considering surgery but is scared, PLEASE do this for yourself! I promise it will be the best decision you’ll ever make!

Oh my, I never in my dreams would have thought I would say that I have officially lost ONE HUNDRED POUNDS! But today, that is exactly what I have done!
Starting weight 226.8. Today's weight 126.8, and I feel great! Solidly in a size 4. Love wearing tight fitting clothes and DRESSES! I haven't loved wearing dresses since I was in HS (despite the fact that I weighed under 135 until I was 23). Still need to lose some "calf" and still need to flatten my belly and tone my upper arms. But I love this weight. Wondering if I will be able to stay here, or will I put on the infamous 10 pounds.
Only negative is my husband actually told me I look "sickly" a couple weeks ago. I never thought I went through that phase. Then this week he commented I look "skeletal". And I KNOW I don't. I have even asked a friend to be honest and tell me if I do look sickly or skeletal at all (since I am obviously not impartial). She says I look great, which made me feel better. When I let my husband know that his comments upset me, he does backpedal... but I cannot unhear those words. I really think he doesn't mean to be hurtful, but he does say things like that without thinking and it does hurt.
Anyway... I officially stopped trying to lose weight a couple months ago. I hit my goal back in April and was happy there. It surprises me when I do drop pounds again. I guess I need to up my calories some more. I don't totally follow my diet anymore. I do eat limited sweets to satisfy cravings. But outside of that, I am not eating "bad". I haven't had anything to drink since July other than Water, Vitamin water zero, and occasional gatorade zero or Decaf and unsweetened herbal teas. I don't count my calories (have always been bad at that), but I do eat small portions and not too frequently. Most of the time I avoid any carbs. I mix my Protein source with veggies. I do best with my eating if the two are actually mixed together (for example, I cook ground beef with cabbage, onions, peppers, and tomatoes - my stomach loves things like that). I guess I just have to figure out what to add in, without developing bad habits again! When I DO add carbs, it is most often a little potato in whatever I cooked, or Beans (which is also protein so that one is usually pretty good). I "LOVE" pizza... so I do sometimes eat that, although most of the time I get one with a cauliflower crust. If I eat a real pizza, it has a very thin crust.

I also suffer from social anxiety which is probably why it took over 40 years. You're in the right head space, you want to make changes and maybe they will be baby steps and it may take some time for you to get there. But I believe in time you can and will do it. How much time, who knows. I just really hope it's not another 20 years. You're so young and it would be such a beautiful thing to get that out of the way earlier on in life. I have never felt freer and I wish that for you. Slow is okay as long as you keep moving forward. You've proven you're strong by overcoming an eating disorder on your own, you got this. Hold your head up high when you're out and about, if even at first you have to pretend that you belong or that you feel comfortable or that you are not self conscious keep doing it until you believe it truly, (because you do belong). And then one day you'll realize that you aren't pretending anymore and that you actually are comfortable in your clothing, with your body, with your choices and you won't care about other people's opinions because who are they anyway? Best of luck my friend.

@BlueIGT wow... that sounds amazing. I wish I could do that... I also struggle with a touch of social anxiety which makes that whole thing u wrote about nearly impossible. But I will try. I’m sick of living for others, because of others, and by others. I’m an adult now and it’s time for ME to take control. Everything I’ve been doing was to fit in and be liked in school. From the way I dressed to the way I spoke to the way I thought of myself. I graduated a week ago and up on that stage I made a promise with myself to be ME and not live for others. My friends were not to keen on that idea..... I’ve been getting better slowly. But this eating shame is something I really still struggle with. I think I might have gotten that from an eating disorder I went through about 4 years ago. Although I’ve gotten over starving myself I still have that shameful feeling. I am trying really hard to do this without professional help. I managed to overcome an eating disorder alone without even my parents knowing. I feel I am strong enough to do this. I just need a bit of direction

It took me many years of of being self conscious of everything about myself. I worried about what other people saw when they looked at me, worried that they were judging me. I let what I thought they were thinking about me stop me from doing things I wanted to do. I let what I thought they were thinking about me rule my world and my how I viewed myself. But one day in my early 40's I had a really good conversation with myself. I decided that on that day forward I would not let what I thought others thought of me affect me in anyway. In fact I no longer cared what others thought of me, I only cared what I thought of me. Some days I liked me, some days I didn't and that was okay.

I realized that I gave 40 years of my life to people I didn't know. Who cares what they think? Not me, not anymore. I used to walk with my head down so I could avoid eye contact. Then I started walking with my head raised high and I looked at their foreheads, not their eyes because I wasn't ready to make eye contact. But I held my head high, I was not ashamed of myself, or my weight anymore. We are all different and if they wanted they judge me based solely on my weight or what I ate, then screw them. The more I held my head high the more I really didn't care. It's my life not theirs. I spent so much of my life worrying about other's peoples opinion about me. Opinions I never heard, I just assumed that's what they were thinking.

At the end of the day, what other's think of me is none of my business. If they want to judge me without knowing me, it's their loss not mine. I am caring, funny, and loving person and honestly I have no time for judgmental people, they are downers and I want to live a positive happy life. If I could wish for one thing for anyone struggling with their weight or self image, I wish they would learn this lesson that I learned in my 40's when they were your age. I wish I felt this way back then. I wish you felt this way, it takes time but you can. Baby steps. You are special, you are not your weight, you are you, you are one of a kind. You are beautiful no matter what, you just need to believe it and stop caring about what other's think.

After surgery, I was actually self-conscious at how little I was eating in restaurants and would tell servers I wasn't feeling very well.
The bottom line is that you are doing this for YOU. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks and just be proud that you are doing the right thing for your body and your health.
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Guess who reached one-der-land today? I did!
Highest weight: 371
Weight when I started Bariatric Program (6/4/19): 314
Surgery day (12/16/19) weight: 258.6
Today’s weight: 199.6

So, I m down to 198 and feeling amazing, my husband and I started walking Monday and I felt so good, my legs were not rubbing together, I was able to keep up with him and I even noticed my shadow casted in front of me it was smaller, I did not have the broad shoulders or apple shape in front of me! It felt Soooooooooo Goooooooood! We walked 2 miles and did it again on Tuesday, Wednesday got rained out but we also celebrated 25 years of wedding bliss! WooHooo! Thursday, doctor's appointment and he was so happy of the weight loss! He also decreased my blood pressure medication in half! I also have went from a size 22W to a regular 14. I have to say it again, "I Feel Sooooooo Goooooood!"

It's also 90% mental like you have to be mentally in the game and mind frame to get the best results!!

The dietary phases aren't there to ward against nausea or vomiting, it's to protect the suture line in your stomach as it heals.
As tough as it may be, you absolutely need to adhere to your doctor's dietary recommendations in this post-operative phase. It's temporary. It will pass. And you will be on the road to regular food before you know it.
just to push the point home: In my job, I review medical records for a living. I had a case in which a woman had gastric sleeve and ruptured her suture line in the 1st 4 weeks after her surgery. Whatever she ate and stomach juices went into her abdominal cavity and caused a severe infection that went systemic. She almost died.

When I started this program my team told me I would probably not get below 175. So I set a goal of 160 just to push it a little further than they anticipated. Like others have stated earlier in the thread, I also am trying to go as low as I can so that when a few pounds creep back on me it'll be okay. My new goal is 140, however if I stayed where I was right now for ever I could easily live with it. Ultimately though if I could get to and stay at 140 that would be awesome.

When I started this program my team told me I would probably not get below 175. So I set a goal of 160 just to push it a little further than they anticipated. Like others have stated earlier in the thread, I also am trying to go as low as I can so that when a few pounds creep back on me it'll be okay. My new goal is 140, however if I stayed where I was right now for ever I could easily live with it. Ultimately though if I could get to and stay at 140 that would be awesome.

rate of weight loss is a very individual thing depending on so many factors - age, gender, starting BMI, metabolic rate, activity level, whether or not you lost a lot of weight pre-op, etc. Some lose it super fast and others lose it slowly. But if you stick to your program, the weight WILL come off, whether fast or slow. I was a slow loser the whole time. I thought I would never lose all my excess weight at the rate I was going, but I did...

Thats so cool and very happy you were able to achieve the same. I had a suit I bought in 2012 after losing 50lbs that I wore exactly 1 time. I kept it in my closet also with the hopes of being able to fit into it again but before i considered this surgery it was more like I was holding onto the past.
Enjoy your vintage jeans they are all the rage these days

I really liked the way I looked in them and I felt really confident in them. When I bought them I had lost 75 pounds, was in really great shape. Then life happened and I put them away because I thought one day I could wear them again (sooner than 26 years lol). They've been a vacuum sealed bag for a few years.

Congrats, I remember that feeling also with my towel. Watching the gap slowly disappear and now it overlaps. Great feeling!
I found a pair a jeans that I last wore 26 years ago, had hoped to wear them again one day but forgot about them. I put them on and zipped them up the other day. They don't look like they used to on me, my body shape is quite different at this slightly older age and body but it felt awesome putting them on.

I really liked the way I looked in them and I felt really confident in them. When I bought them I had lost 75 pounds, was in really great shape. Then life happened and I put them away because I thought one day I could wear them again (sooner than 26 years lol). They've been a vacuum sealed bag for a few years.

Congrats, I remember that feeling also with my towel. Watching the gap slowly disappear and now it overlaps. Great feeling!
I found a pair a jeans that I last wore 26 years ago, had hoped to wear them again one day but forgot about them. I put them on and zipped them up the other day. They don't look like they used to on me, my body shape is quite different at this slightly older age and body but it felt awesome putting them on.

You have jeans that you haven't worn in 26 years? Oh my I would love to hear the story behind that. Why did you still have them were they all the way in the back of the closet type thing?