BrighterSide

EDIT: Only just noticed this is a year old thread...hey ho! Hope all ended well.

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So sorry you had to deal with that crap. Ignore him. As has been fantastically said I’d address afterwards if you can’t shake it off. They’re almost all narrow specialists with god complexes. All the nursing staff will tell you to ignore them on subjects outside their remit.

My surgeon has the best mortality stats and outcomes as well as numbers of procedures for this part of the country, but he is a social disaster zone outside pure factual consults and theatre...his secretary and the ITU staff confirmed as much.

Just before sending me home 2 days post op he said “Great, now eat what you did before, just less” NUT was there too and her eyes near rolled out of her head. At 3 month follow up he spent 10 minutes not making eye contact and mumbling aggressively when I asked why I was having no post surgery bloods until 1 year. Not ideal, but my surgery and post surgical recovery has been great, my GP did interim bloods and his NUT is fantastic. If he had sufficient self awareness to backfill for his failings by recruiting her then some credit due, but kid gloves are off next consult. If we fall out then so be it.

Sincerely hope you don’t let it get you down and find a great bariatrics aware fitness specialist to backfill for his muppetry xx

First time in a while I took my camera, but so glad I did. Featured bee actually flew into frame just as I took the picture :-)

No regrets. The first 2 days the wind pain in my shoulder was really bad, panting through contractions kinda bad in between morphine, but stopped dead teatime day 2. My only stomach pain was forgetting to be careful and pulling or straining wounds, or taking more than tiniest sips.

The rest of the first 4 weeks was a real challenge to get Protein and liquid in and if I never have to eat anything purées again I will be happy, but I’m a pickyish eater, so struggled maybe more than some. Pain of that wore off fast when onto soft then full diet.

Did have total mood rollercoaster too. Shock to my system of the surgery, massive nutrition change and hormonal chaos often caused by both those things, but also fat dumping stored hormones back into bloodstream as it breaks down. If I regretted then I don’t count it as it was typical no light at the end of the tunnel, woe is me, PMSish episodes that passed fast (you’ll see I posted about it).

Now, exactly 23 weeks out, 60% of my weight lost, walked 5k today and only broke a little sweat and have never had a single regret. Hope it’s the same for you!

Also remembered I kept a copy of this. Source was a VSG forum elsewhere. Has helped me with perspective!

Just popped back to say I had a gain and just came back from it. Wasn’t doing anything different I could see. Log everything daily. Maybe less walking.

May
13th - 92.1
20th - 91.1
27th - 90.1

Getting a bit too comfy with this nice pattern at this point!

June
3rd - 89.1kg

Still grand

10th - 89.8kg

Ooops. Grown up head saying it’s no biggie, childish head saying...WTH!

17th - 89.3kg

Better but not back to where I was.

24th - 87.2

:-O Okaaaay. Yey! Whatever. But if you check out my chart it’s not the first time. If I had logged more than once a week it would look like a set of little ski jumps. Just learning to ride the waves :-)

I didn’t realise quite HOW much stress this would take out of getting ready to go out.

That’s still changing as I have a painfully small amount of wearable clothes, so mix ‘n’ match is limited and have lots of washing to do. However, I rarely consider how much attention I can emotionally stand as a key part of choosing and the decision to go out at all (the equation that saw me stay home the vast majority of the time pre-surgery).

I now, both cos of weight loss and justifiable warrior vibes produced by proudness at achievement and on-going effort, think about nothing but being covered in an appropriate and nice way for the occasion, or if heading into typically judgier waters (PTA anyone?!) I think ‘FU all, this is me, and I’m a legend’

I can wear my rings and necklaces again! Not a wedding or engagement ring cos I’m not married, the unusual rings I used to collect and love wearing (pic is of a new one I adore...adjustable as we’re still on the way down). I also buy a new necklace to Celebrate most milestones in my life and ones that were chokers back in January are back looking cute now. So pleased, and so going to have to control the credit cards!

Oh, in other news, my size 16 jeans are now undeniably baggy round the legs. Was in denial about it as gained a pound last week, but slim is deffo looking more boyfriend!

I finally got my formal PCOS diagnosis a month ago (4 months post surgery) because I went a little ‘Falling Down’ on my local docs. Had 30 yrs of being told ‘lose weight’ ‘move more’ ‘get less stressed’ then hit early menopause and they did it again.

Knew this was my last chance. I was spiralling cos symptoms of both things and resulting mental health probs and weight had turned me into an overeating hermit (oh look, finally proved them right!).

Had the exact same fears as you all. Sleeved 21st Jan at 258. Highest weight 263. Down 61 pounds now. Just hit another stall. Average 650 - 800 calories a day and hit Protein and fluid goals most days. Don’t move as much as many due to on-going arthritis, but do far more than before.

Hope is a hard thing to embrace, but it’s here and my new gynae I found and forced them to refer me to is a superstar. Feeling very fortunate for a change :-)

Honestly I have only a general idea of what my excess fat was to start with.
I was 5’7” and 244 on surgery day.
Today I weighed in at 189 for a loss of 55 pounds.
I’m thinking I had anywhere between 100-125 pounds of excess fat seeing as typical weight charts would have my ideal weight around 135.

I’m hoping that I had over 100 pounds excess fat because I really would hate to think that only 20-ish more pounds will come off.
I’m still huge compared to where I want to be.

Goal weight is 145 and I’m afraid that still won’t get me as small as I would like to be.

For anyone feeling worried about their rate of loss it’s great to know start weight and % of excess weight lost.

I’m 45, 5’4”, 4 1/2 months post sleeve Down 67 from 258 which is 58% EWL

My surgeon said to wait to start until 3 month check up.

Initially I worked out 60% excess weight loss and rounded to nearest easy number - 30kg. That is a middle range loss based on research across all sleeve patients in a couple of studies and didn’t want to hope too hard that bigger loss would happen even with hard work. Look set to hit that by end of June (sleeved 21st Jan HW 263 SW 258 CW 199)

Pic demonstrates how obsessive I can be when motivated :-). When I got close to that target (2nd target cos I’d set an initial one for first post surgery check up) picked highest end of my BMI range as new ultimate goal, but ramped down expected rate of loss for each 3 months knowing that reduced deficit cos my smaller body will burn less, will have to be offset by extra exercise I may not manage. Will monitor as I go. If more is a miserable slog after goal 4 (12 months) I’ll reassess.

I had a slice of birthday cake, albeit a teeny one. Eldest decorated it for her own birthday and in my biased opinion did a fab job. Calculated that the whole thing, based on ingredients (vanilla sponge cake with buttercream inside, around, and piped as flowers on top, with run out blue icing) came out at 35,494 calories, then spotted the mistake. That would be 283 GRAMS of icing sugar, not OUNCES! Still bad enough for the serving.

Scared me so bad I asked hubby to hide it and have been making up for it the last couple of days with extra walks and super clean low carbs

Fantastic! Well done!


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Wow!!! That really sucks... Hope u reconsider and give yourself an option to move forward if you can conquer your nerves... Everyone gets nervous. Maybe talk to your surgeon or a therapist. Good luck to you....

I had horrendous pain in front of my shoulder and radiating down. The kind of pain you pant through and nothing short of morphine was touching the sides. Wasn’t constant though. Flared when I moved. Especially when pushing up the bed or sitting down after a walk. Disappeared near end of day after surgery.

Pain around your stomach might not be gas pain. As them to check with your surgeon.


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Wow! Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to write such thoughtful replies! I have been working with a psychiatrist for years to get rid of binge eating disorder, and she thinks I'm ready, because bingeing is no longer an issue for me. The thing is, I could give up bingeing because I could still eat good tasting food just in limited quantities. The thought of never eating good tasting food sounds terrible to me. I'm glad to hear that after the first few months, I will be able to incorporate good tasting food into my diet in limited amounts. i have a 30+ year history of trying every diet under the sun and not succeeding. I could never lose more than a few pounds and my body would just stop giving up weight, and then I would regain what I did lose and more. Apparently it is because I have an underactive thyroid and PCOS. My body immediately goes into starvation mode. Surgery is supposed to somehow reset the hormones to make it possible to lose weight even for those with PCOS, but I have a fear that I will be the one exception and that it won't work for me. If I could get myself to believe that it would work, I could do what's needed, but I just can't get myself to believe. Too many promises made and broken by diet programs!

Also love the deli counter. Do myself mini deli plates with pickles just small sized (max portion now is about 120g - about 4oz, less if meat without sauce or drier meat).

Quick hack is to log the stuff you love then get rid of the bread, rice, Pasta, or potatoes Often an immediate win.

It depends what ‘great tasting’ means to you. I used to think white toast loaded with as much melted butter as it would hold was great tasting, but I rarely miss it now cos the doughy bread just isn’t pleasant and I don’t want a mouthful of fat. I have a quinoa and chia seeded Ryvita with light Philadelphia, cucumber, smoked salmon, lemon juice and ground pepper instead. About 4 x more Protein and 4 x less calories/fat.

Must caveat by saying I may not be losing as fast as others, but starting from 263 on 21st Jan I hit 199 this week -about 45% excess weight loss - in 4 months. Lost very slow for about 4 weeks in the middle then faster last 3-5 weeks.

Planning and tracking intake is so vital as is weighing regularly but not every day.

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I too am a foodie. Still. 4 months out. I don’t have any negative effects and probably eat a better range of nicer food now than I ever have. I bought tonnes of cook books before my op and built myself a new list of breakfasts, lunches and dinners, plus special occasion alternatives because despite being a foodie eating out I realised my repetitive meals at home were all really expensive in terms of wasteful calories and low on anything nutritious. Logging every bite I eat in a tracking app that breaks down everything is the thing that makes all the difference.

I looked for whole grains, lower carb, lower fat, and higher Protein or options where I could substitute.

Best thing I did to give me leeway to have more tasty things was to find a protein Water I liked. I really like Vieve.

But more generally I still enjoy eating out as I share with fella and take home at least another meal worth.

But in the end it depends how important food is versus the things you want to gain. I had decided that I was ready to totally change my relationship with food and relegate it to fuel rather than pleasure and reward.

You handled it well. The important thing is that you didn’t throw your whole day out because you had the crisps. Because then you’ll end up throowing out the next day and then it’s just “I’ll start again on Monday...”

" userid="329262"] Mine too! And I am 18 months out - work is stressful just now and the cravings for those calming sweet treats, or those carbs chips/crisps are right there.
But - I take time to admire myself in the mirror, delight in my change, and try and calm myself with that instead
I loved the way you dealt with that slip-up - you are still with8n your day’s calories. Good work!

Had a hiccup last night which underlined an old problem I’m yet to properly solve. Fell out with my teen over exam revision. Her cycle of panicked ‘I can’t do this! But I have to do this! No you can’t help!’ pushed me over the edge to some totally inappropriate teen-like door slamming.

I came back and apologised (I had made her cry, partly because the shock broke the tension, though it was totally the wrong thing to do), but not before I found and ate a packet of crisps (chips to the US crew).

Stewed about my abject lack of will power, felt the ‘I may as well give up’ vibe creeping in, but told hubby and logged it and was still under 800 for the day. Made a point of looking at the nutrition break down and yep, 7.5g fat and 13.4g carbs in that 25g bag. But, in the grand scheme, I can balance that out in a day and I’ve also proven that I can come back from a couple of diversions on holiday to being totally in track, so this doesn’t have to be a slippery slope.

My imagination is both my biggest asset and my biggest enemy because I can imagine small problems into insurmountable long-term barriers. Instead, thanks to the mindfulness about hunger and nutrition this injected, I am breaking down problems into manageable steps for today and tomorrow. Less failures and punishments. More blips and corrections.

The emotional triggers need a whole heck of a lot more work though!

Loving the discussion. Sing it healthy life!!! Your post is spot on. If I gain 5 pounds at 128 I feel way bigger than I ever did at 220. It is a mind job. Psychology has not caught up to the WLS patient. Very little quantifiable research exists when I think about diagnosis of body dysmorphia I return to the final question how does this interfere with life functioning???? So I’m about a size 2 and physically I can do more than I could 20 years ago. I am confident and feel good. I have an amazing marriage and good friends I am solid in what I believe is right and wrong. Most days I feel fat. The thoughts are not pervasive and do not interfere with daily functioning. I’ve been in my 5 lbs goal window since 2016. The questions are many and answers do not yet exist. It seems as though obesity is not the only pathology and a deviation in self perception is common. I am most interested in how self perception impacts long term success. I do not have another dissertation in me - anyone want to take this on?

Oh. My. Goodness. Or should I say Graham’s goodness. I really wanted something sweet and although I can withstand lots of repetitive meals I was starting to struggle with lack of variety this distance out (4 months). All options I fancied were just to pricey in terms of carbs. Then I found this at Lidl.

50g (half serving) was more than enough and felt sooo indulgent. Uses polydextrose sweetener which counts as fibre, hence low cal.

Won’t be a regular thing as too sweet really and can see it as a gateway food to other less restrained indulgence, but YUM!

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I had my sleeve when I got too old, tired and heavy to put the game face on to get past the preconceptions.

For many years my ambition got me to work and events and my brains and way with words carried me through. I avoided social situations with all but closest friends as time went on. When I ceased feeling that hunger for a success that frankly cost too much in terms of sanity and family time, that final shred keeping me motivated and active got lost.

Being at home with my family I forgot my size until rare occasions I had to venture out. At those points, confronted by an inability to hide the rolls, my self-image broke and hate in. Until then I had managed to disassociate naked huge me from the rest of me.

Posted elsewhere that about 3 weeks after surgery I called a truce with my naked self. I began caring for my skin, even the parts with heinously crepey skin tears and overhangs. Ruined parts I had treated like a hoarders in denial.

Now trying to shape a self-image that projects that I don’t want to ever try and compete on a ‘socially acceptable’ playing field looks and weight-wise even if my BMI says I may qualify for the first time in my life. Sure as hell not gonna start paying for pro blow drys, fake tans, Brazilians, manicures and spider lashes for nights out. Reckon it might have to be purple hair, purple clothes or both, cos for all the discomfort, aches, sweating, and periodic self doubt I did like the ‘f@!# you’ attitude I owned professionally and personally when I didn’t fit into a convenient pigeonhole.

TL:DR I was intentionally dismorphic, and not sure how to navigate the new ‘normal’ :-)

You are a battery
Some people energise you
Some people drain you
Too many of the latter and you will be no use to anyone, least of all yourself.