KT1981

In the last couple weeks I've had two NSV's- one was pretty amusing and the other kinda made/makes me sad.
The amusing one was when a male friend of my husband and I came by unexpectedly. He didn't know I'd had surgery and hasn't seen me in about a year. (I'm about 8.5 months out of surgery and down 107 pounds, only 18 pounds from my goal weight.) He was shocked and thrilled at my progress. He was over for a couple of hours and probably hugged me 7 times and commented positively on my appearance just as many times, even using the phrase "you're so hot". (He's a bit brash, but this did not come from a disrespectful place, and neither my husband nor I took it that way. Obviously, I secretly loved it... who doesn't wanna be hot?!) ) Because he's a good friend of ours, my husband didn't seem bothered by any of this. But that's not the NSV... the NSV came later that evening when my husband asked about my wedding set. I've been ring-less for a few weeks because they are so large that they literally fall off my hand and aren't safe to wear anymore. After all of the attention from our friend, my husband was suddenly very concerned about my walking around "looking single". The real NSV was seeing him concerned about whether or not someone might try to snap me up. Not gonna lie- I've been riding that high for a while now!
The one making me kinda sad was an NSV I had never even thought of before. I was obese for over 15 years, and many people in my life today (including my husband) have never known me any other way. In the last couple of weeks I've taken a few group pictures for a variety of reasons, and each time someone has asked "what's your side"? (This is a reference to my "good side", which is a thing among women where they prefer to be photographed from a particular side that they deem to be their best look.) I've heard other women reference it or rearrange themselves in photos to catch "their side", and it occurred to me that nobody has ever asked me that in the last 15+ years. Not one single time. Now it seems to be a regular question, and it makes me a little sad... was I, like, a lost cause before? I wasn't attractive enough to have a "side"? Like, it didn't matter how you photographed me, it was going to be equally unattractive from any angle? Ultimately, it doesn't matter because I look different now and this is my new normal, but it brought to light that unconscious bias that people have about obese people... we are inherently unattractive... even if we're not. I'm not quasimodo... I'm an average looking woman, and have always been so- even when I was obese. But apparently I wasn't seen that way, and something about that makes me bummed when I think about it.

Thanks, all! I'm sure I'll have a variety of options to choose from. I'll stick with gin, vodka, or maybe a dry wine. I love the sugar free/crystal light mixin idea, too!

Coming up on 6 months post OP (next week) and I'm 42 pounds from my ultimate goal... so close, but so far away. I needed to see this today. THANK YOU for posting it and CONGRATULATIONS on your incredible success!

Coming up on 6 months post OP (next week) and I'm 42 pounds from my ultimate goal... so close, but so far away. I needed to see this today. THANK YOU for posting it and CONGRATULATIONS on your incredible success!

So I have followed my doc's plans incredibly closely, and MASSIVELY overhauled my eating habits. I generally eat clean, Protein first, no processed stuff (with the primary exception being protein shakes), and tonight we're going out to a place that has really good Reubens... my favorite food. I am planning to split one with my mother, who is also on a diet, but I am having a really hard time mentally doing this. I won't be having fries or any "naughty" sides (I doubt I'll get more than 1/3 of my sandwich half down, anyway, because of my sleeve size). I have more than enough calories to eat the entire sandwich, actually, but I still find myself wanting to not eat all day to "make up" for eating a "bad" food later.
Does anyone else have this mental struggle? I'm a year out now, and beginning a slow transition to a wider food base, still looking to lose 10-15 vanity pounds. I'm just not really sure how to manage these thoughts and this visceral feeling of needing to restrict my food intake early in the day because I'm doing something "bad" later.

Naturally, as soon as I questioned the instruction from my most recent appointment (and complained that the current calories were too low for me to avoid losing) I stopped losing. Nothing for almost 2 weeks now. So annoying! Now that I've set my mind on losing another 10-15 pounds, I'm hoping it's just another stall and not my new set point.

Thank you! Once I get closer to my personal goal I will reach out to speak with one of the PA's I've been working with (this one was new) to gain more clarification. For now, I will try to keep actively losing and just pay attention to what that looks like calorie-wise.

This makes so much sense. I know that I am still at 27+% body fat, so, while within health range, I definitely have room to lose/transition to muscle. It also makes sense to let my body decide when to stop losing. That was kind of my plan all along, and I am assuming it'll be close to 130 (not really sure why I think that, though!). I do have a fear that I will not like my body in another 20 pounds, though. I'm mostly happy with how I look now, with the exception of my stomach. Another 15+ pounds may change that, but we can cross that bridge if we get there!
The odd part is that my office doesn't really go by the BMI chart... they go by the ideal weight. For me, that's 132, so they don't want me below that, even though I'd still be WELL within a normal BMI range. Personally, I wanted to get to 130 because I think that gives me room to gain over the next 20+ years (a natural process of aging) and still be in a normal BMI. I even explained that and was basically told, "Nope. Only lost 10 more pounds, if you absolutely feel you must, because then you'll be at your 'ideal weight' and we don't want to go lower than that". I guess that's the part that's confusing to me- they are adamant that 135 is the absolute lowest, but when I look at a BMI chart, I have plenty of wiggle room. I may reach out to another PA that I've worked with before to get more clarification on that piece. But, for now, I'll let my body do it's thing. Thank you for your insight!

Thank you! Once I get closer to my personal goal I will reach out to speak with one of the PA's I've been working with (this one was new) to gain more clarification. For now, I will try to keep actively losing and just pay attention to what that looks like calorie-wise.

Thank you! Once I get closer to my personal goal I will reach out to speak with one of the PA's I've been working with (this one was new) to gain more clarification. For now, I will try to keep actively losing and just pay attention to what that looks like calorie-wise.

I find it SO odd. I spoke with a new PA, but I may reach out to one of the PA's I've worked with throughout most of the process for some more clarification on things. In the meantime, I'll let my body keep losing.

This makes so much sense. I know that I am still at 27+% body fat, so, while within health range, I definitely have room to lose/transition to muscle. It also makes sense to let my body decide when to stop losing. That was kind of my plan all along, and I am assuming it'll be close to 130 (not really sure why I think that, though!). I do have a fear that I will not like my body in another 20 pounds, though. I'm mostly happy with how I look now, with the exception of my stomach. Another 15+ pounds may change that, but we can cross that bridge if we get there!
The odd part is that my office doesn't really go by the BMI chart... they go by the ideal weight. For me, that's 132, so they don't want me below that, even though I'd still be WELL within a normal BMI range. Personally, I wanted to get to 130 because I think that gives me room to gain over the next 20+ years (a natural process of aging) and still be in a normal BMI. I even explained that and was basically told, "Nope. Only lost 10 more pounds, if you absolutely feel you must, because then you'll be at your 'ideal weight' and we don't want to go lower than that". I guess that's the part that's confusing to me- they are adamant that 135 is the absolute lowest, but when I look at a BMI chart, I have plenty of wiggle room. I may reach out to another PA that I've worked with before to get more clarification on that piece. But, for now, I'll let my body do it's thing. Thank you for your insight!

Struggling with this, too! I am able to pull the skin taut enough to get it all, but it takes some effort. I'd like to pursue laser hair removal in the future. I hadn't considered hair removal cream, but that might be a good plan for the interim!

Hi friends! I am about to start maintaining. I got some advice that I felt was a bit conflicting from the PA (she is new to the practice) at my appointment today. Here's the scenario:
They don't want me to lose anymore, but would be accepting of up to another 10 pound loss, preferably only 5 pounds. (At this point, I suspect most of my concern areas will need to be address by PS anyway, and not by weight loss. Starting a conversation with a plastic surgeon is on my to-do list yet this year, although I won't pursue a surgery date until I have stabilized, of course.)
I agreed to this minimized loss at the appointment (I wanted to lose 15 more), but here's my question- I was told to stick with the calorie intake I'm currently at, even though I made it clear that I'm still actively losing at this intake level (~1200 calories). I upped it about 2 weeks ago and the loss hasn't slowed at all. She doesn't want to see me again for 6 months unless I lose more than 10 pounds before that. Ya'll... unless I very rapidly stabilize at this caloric intake, I'm probably going to lose these 10 pounds before Christmas, based on my current loss rate. In 6 months, I could very well lose 20 or more if I don't find a new caloric intake. I felt a refusal to work with me on transitioning to maintenance calories before 18 months is up, but at the same time, I was pretty explicitly told that I really should stay where I am weight-wise.
I specifically asked if I should incrementally increase calories or anything like that if the loss doesn't slow down, and was told no... just stay where I am until we meet again in 6 months, but also, don't lose any more weight unless you really feel you must, then absolutely no more than 10 pounds. This just feels odd to me, knowing that transitioning to maintenance can take some time, and I'm actively losing where I am now.
Am I missing something? I realize it's totally possible for me to very suddenly stabilize, but that doesn't appear to be the case for me at the moment.
What were your conversations like with your team when you began transitioning to maintenance? I really feel that if I don't start experimenting with slowing the loss now, that I run the risk of losing too much and being unhappy with how I look.

Struggling with this, too! I am able to pull the skin taut enough to get it all, but it takes some effort. I'd like to pursue laser hair removal in the future. I hadn't considered hair removal cream, but that might be a good plan for the interim!

Hi friends! I am about to start maintaining. I got some advice that I felt was a bit conflicting from the PA (she is new to the practice) at my appointment today. Here's the scenario:
They don't want me to lose anymore, but would be accepting of up to another 10 pound loss, preferably only 5 pounds. (At this point, I suspect most of my concern areas will need to be address by PS anyway, and not by weight loss. Starting a conversation with a plastic surgeon is on my to-do list yet this year, although I won't pursue a surgery date until I have stabilized, of course.)
I agreed to this minimized loss at the appointment (I wanted to lose 15 more), but here's my question- I was told to stick with the calorie intake I'm currently at, even though I made it clear that I'm still actively losing at this intake level (~1200 calories). I upped it about 2 weeks ago and the loss hasn't slowed at all. She doesn't want to see me again for 6 months unless I lose more than 10 pounds before that. Ya'll... unless I very rapidly stabilize at this caloric intake, I'm probably going to lose these 10 pounds before Christmas, based on my current loss rate. In 6 months, I could very well lose 20 or more if I don't find a new caloric intake. I felt a refusal to work with me on transitioning to maintenance calories before 18 months is up, but at the same time, I was pretty explicitly told that I really should stay where I am weight-wise.
I specifically asked if I should incrementally increase calories or anything like that if the loss doesn't slow down, and was told no... just stay where I am until we meet again in 6 months, but also, don't lose any more weight unless you really feel you must, then absolutely no more than 10 pounds. This just feels odd to me, knowing that transitioning to maintenance can take some time, and I'm actively losing where I am now.
Am I missing something? I realize it's totally possible for me to very suddenly stabilize, but that doesn't appear to be the case for me at the moment.
What were your conversations like with your team when you began transitioning to maintenance? I really feel that if I don't start experimenting with slowing the loss now, that I run the risk of losing too much and being unhappy with how I look.

Hi friends! I am about to start maintaining. I got some advice that I felt was a bit conflicting from the PA (she is new to the practice) at my appointment today. Here's the scenario:
They don't want me to lose anymore, but would be accepting of up to another 10 pound loss, preferably only 5 pounds. (At this point, I suspect most of my concern areas will need to be address by PS anyway, and not by weight loss. Starting a conversation with a plastic surgeon is on my to-do list yet this year, although I won't pursue a surgery date until I have stabilized, of course.)
I agreed to this minimized loss at the appointment (I wanted to lose 15 more), but here's my question- I was told to stick with the calorie intake I'm currently at, even though I made it clear that I'm still actively losing at this intake level (~1200 calories). I upped it about 2 weeks ago and the loss hasn't slowed at all. She doesn't want to see me again for 6 months unless I lose more than 10 pounds before that. Ya'll... unless I very rapidly stabilize at this caloric intake, I'm probably going to lose these 10 pounds before Christmas, based on my current loss rate. In 6 months, I could very well lose 20 or more if I don't find a new caloric intake. I felt a refusal to work with me on transitioning to maintenance calories before 18 months is up, but at the same time, I was pretty explicitly told that I really should stay where I am weight-wise.
I specifically asked if I should incrementally increase calories or anything like that if the loss doesn't slow down, and was told no... just stay where I am until we meet again in 6 months, but also, don't lose any more weight unless you really feel you must, then absolutely no more than 10 pounds. This just feels odd to me, knowing that transitioning to maintenance can take some time, and I'm actively losing where I am now.
Am I missing something? I realize it's totally possible for me to very suddenly stabilize, but that doesn't appear to be the case for me at the moment.
What were your conversations like with your team when you began transitioning to maintenance? I really feel that if I don't start experimenting with slowing the loss now, that I run the risk of losing too much and being unhappy with how I look.

Hi friends! I am about to start maintaining. I got some advice that I felt was a bit conflicting from the PA (she is new to the practice) at my appointment today. Here's the scenario:
They don't want me to lose anymore, but would be accepting of up to another 10 pound loss, preferably only 5 pounds. (At this point, I suspect most of my concern areas will need to be address by PS anyway, and not by weight loss. Starting a conversation with a plastic surgeon is on my to-do list yet this year, although I won't pursue a surgery date until I have stabilized, of course.)
I agreed to this minimized loss at the appointment (I wanted to lose 15 more), but here's my question- I was told to stick with the calorie intake I'm currently at, even though I made it clear that I'm still actively losing at this intake level (~1200 calories). I upped it about 2 weeks ago and the loss hasn't slowed at all. She doesn't want to see me again for 6 months unless I lose more than 10 pounds before that. Ya'll... unless I very rapidly stabilize at this caloric intake, I'm probably going to lose these 10 pounds before Christmas, based on my current loss rate. In 6 months, I could very well lose 20 or more if I don't find a new caloric intake. I felt a refusal to work with me on transitioning to maintenance calories before 18 months is up, but at the same time, I was pretty explicitly told that I really should stay where I am weight-wise.
I specifically asked if I should incrementally increase calories or anything like that if the loss doesn't slow down, and was told no... just stay where I am until we meet again in 6 months, but also, don't lose any more weight unless you really feel you must, then absolutely no more than 10 pounds. This just feels odd to me, knowing that transitioning to maintenance can take some time, and I'm actively losing where I am now.
Am I missing something? I realize it's totally possible for me to very suddenly stabilize, but that doesn't appear to be the case for me at the moment.
What were your conversations like with your team when you began transitioning to maintenance? I really feel that if I don't start experimenting with slowing the loss now, that I run the risk of losing too much and being unhappy with how I look.

My 1 year anniversary is Thursday, and I have an appointment with my bariatric team to talk about what's next/how to move to maintenance.
SW: 275
Surgery Date: 265
Doctor's Goal: 165
My Goal: 150
Current Weight: 144
Revised Goal: 130 (ish? Starting to think I may just need skin removal/plastic surgery versus more actual weight loss)
I am so pleased with my progress, and am now focused on strength training. Over the course of the last year, I have started working out again, gotten rid of high blood pressure, diabetes (officially in remission now!), and high cholesterol, regained control of my eating habits (this is ongoing- for life!!) and addressed my emotional and binge eating behaviors. I weigh less than my normal-sized husband for the first time since he's known me (15+ years). I affectionately refer to him as "fat", now that he weighs more than me. (He has always been at a healthy BMI and gets a big kick out of being "the fattest one in the family".)
I have much more confidence in myself and life in general. Throughout this last year I also got a promotion and big raise at work, and by this time next month, I will have my master's degree in the books. My husband and I are working to purchase a local business (fingers, toes, and hair crossed that things pan out!). I have hope for a long, healthy life with my husband and children.

My 1 year anniversary is Thursday, and I have an appointment with my bariatric team to talk about what's next/how to move to maintenance.
SW: 275
Surgery Date: 265
Doctor's Goal: 165
My Goal: 150
Current Weight: 144
Revised Goal: 130 (ish? Starting to think I may just need skin removal/plastic surgery versus more actual weight loss)
I am so pleased with my progress, and am now focused on strength training. Over the course of the last year, I have started working out again, gotten rid of high blood pressure, diabetes (officially in remission now!), and high cholesterol, regained control of my eating habits (this is ongoing- for life!!) and addressed my emotional and binge eating behaviors. I weigh less than my normal-sized husband for the first time since he's known me (15+ years). I affectionately refer to him as "fat", now that he weighs more than me. (He has always been at a healthy BMI and gets a big kick out of being "the fattest one in the family".)
I have much more confidence in myself and life in general. Throughout this last year I also got a promotion and big raise at work, and by this time next month, I will have my master's degree in the books. My husband and I are working to purchase a local business (fingers, toes, and hair crossed that things pan out!). I have hope for a long, healthy life with my husband and children.

My 1 year anniversary is Thursday, and I have an appointment with my bariatric team to talk about what's next/how to move to maintenance.
SW: 275
Surgery Date: 265
Doctor's Goal: 165
My Goal: 150
Current Weight: 144
Revised Goal: 130 (ish? Starting to think I may just need skin removal/plastic surgery versus more actual weight loss)
I am so pleased with my progress, and am now focused on strength training. Over the course of the last year, I have started working out again, gotten rid of high blood pressure, diabetes (officially in remission now!), and high cholesterol, regained control of my eating habits (this is ongoing- for life!!) and addressed my emotional and binge eating behaviors. I weigh less than my normal-sized husband for the first time since he's known me (15+ years). I affectionately refer to him as "fat", now that he weighs more than me. (He has always been at a healthy BMI and gets a big kick out of being "the fattest one in the family".)
I have much more confidence in myself and life in general. Throughout this last year I also got a promotion and big raise at work, and by this time next month, I will have my master's degree in the books. My husband and I are working to purchase a local business (fingers, toes, and hair crossed that things pan out!). I have hope for a long, healthy life with my husband and children.

My 1 year anniversary is Thursday, and I have an appointment with my bariatric team to talk about what's next/how to move to maintenance.
SW: 275
Surgery Date: 265
Doctor's Goal: 165
My Goal: 150
Current Weight: 144
Revised Goal: 130 (ish? Starting to think I may just need skin removal/plastic surgery versus more actual weight loss)
I am so pleased with my progress, and am now focused on strength training. Over the course of the last year, I have started working out again, gotten rid of high blood pressure, diabetes (officially in remission now!), and high cholesterol, regained control of my eating habits (this is ongoing- for life!!) and addressed my emotional and binge eating behaviors. I weigh less than my normal-sized husband for the first time since he's known me (15+ years). I affectionately refer to him as "fat", now that he weighs more than me. (He has always been at a healthy BMI and gets a big kick out of being "the fattest one in the family".)
I have much more confidence in myself and life in general. Throughout this last year I also got a promotion and big raise at work, and by this time next month, I will have my master's degree in the books. My husband and I are working to purchase a local business (fingers, toes, and hair crossed that things pan out!). I have hope for a long, healthy life with my husband and children.

I think you have misunderstood. I'm not self-diagnosing, nor am I asking the internet to diagnose me. I already have my appointment scheduled next week, as I mentioned. This just highlighted an issue I was curious about. I am already 20 pounds under where the physician wanted me to land, so I'm a little concerned that they'll see the lab work and my increased loss and feel that there is an issue to address. At 145 and 5'5", I am at the very top of the healthy BMI range, but I feel like my doctor is a bit "extreme" compared to everyone else's... even to the point of mentioning that loss significantly under goal (which was 165) would be reviewed for disordered eating behaviors. So, in anticipation of addressing some kind of "issue" at the upcoming appointment, I wondered what treatment plans looked like for others who have been formally diagnosed with malnutrition.

Funny you mention the illness issue. My first thought was "Dang. I shouldn't have skipped the flu shot clinic this year!" LOL

I think you have misunderstood. I'm not self-diagnosing, nor am I asking the internet to diagnose me. I already have my appointment scheduled next week, as I mentioned. This just highlighted an issue I was curious about. I am already 20 pounds under where the physician wanted me to land, so I'm a little concerned that they'll see the lab work and my increased loss and feel that there is an issue to address. At 145 and 5'5", I am at the very top of the healthy BMI range, but I feel like my doctor is a bit "extreme" compared to everyone else's... even to the point of mentioning that loss significantly under goal (which was 165) would be reviewed for disordered eating behaviors. So, in anticipation of addressing some kind of "issue" at the upcoming appointment, I wondered what treatment plans looked like for others who have been formally diagnosed with malnutrition.