bettie.blue

I think he was out of line and was ashamed he got called out for it.

You guys, my hair is falling out like crazy these last 3 weeks. I was intellectually prepared for it. This is a normal happenstance. My bloodwork is good; no nutritional deficiency or hormone imbalances. I’m grateful for that and so fortunate... but the hair loss is so noticeable. I just wasn’t emotionally prepared for it. My hair was already fine and not very thick, so I have really felt the loss of it. I go this weekend for a haircut and some damage control. I have no idea how much I will have to take off but I am dreading it. It’s really just a waiting game for it to come back, but as a woman, this was a little traumatic to deal with and I’m struggling. For those of you who experienced this, how did you get through it?

I didn’t keep my surgery a secret... Partially because I work in healthcare and my coworkers would easily put two and two together but mostly because I was comfortable talking about it. The big thing is feeling comfortable with that; if you don’t then that’s okay. I finally plucked up the courage to start the process for my surgery and a better life because my colleague had the procedure done and was open about it. Maybe some day that will be me in her shoes? I don’t know but it was the right choice for me.

I imagine most of us were raised hearing this. It is something that I struggled greatly with growing up, as an adult, and even now post op. It cannot be that I am the only one, so I wanted to share my struggles and thoughts. This philosophy was strictly enforced in my house; I remember sitting by an open window, watching the neighborhood kids play outside, while I ignored the cold plate of meatloaf in front of me until bedtime. I have wondered how things got so out of hand with my weight; maybe because my relationship with food was unhealthy so early in life? Did I try to take back some of my own and over do it? Regardless, here I am kickstarting my rebirth. This new life is one where I leave the path my parents, grandparents, even great grandparents have been following and make my own. There is so much I want to take with me from their eras; preserving and growing vegetables from my great grandmother, sewing from my grandmother, and my mother’s passion for literacy and books. Respectfully, they can keep their rules for the dinner table though. Instead of cleaning my plate, I will make smaller meals, use fresher ingredients (grown by myself, guys!), and save treats like homemade bread, cookies, pie, and cake for special occasions. I will exchange my indulgences to (hopefully) live a longer, more active life, feel more confident and competent at my job, and minimize my risk of hypertension, early onset arthritis, and diabetes. This surgery has given me so much hope and motivation to change my life for the better. I know all of you can too! Let’s share and hope to inspire eachother. What are your biggest struggles during your journey? Why do you think you have these particular struggles? What do you want to do to overcome them?

I certainly didn’t leave a clean plate! Lol I optimistically put a little of everything on my 5 inch plate and ate half of it. No guilt whatsoever! How about you?

I agree that therapy is a good avenue here; we all have different relationships with food and for some of us, it was an emotional coping mechanism. It’s worth checking out. I hope you feel better!

.... In the past I have loathed shopping for them and that old familiar feeling is still strong. I know I need to at least buy a pair or two of jeans. My three surviving pairs are either falling off of me or have holes from where my thighs have been rubbing together. These jeans are over 2 years old and lived a long life but I hesitate. I’ve become a non brick and mortar shopper and the thought of setting foot in a store makes me nervous. Have any of you experienced a reluctance to shop for clothes; online or in person? Maybe have some fear that you won’t see your progress reflected in the sizes you where?

I did! It started the day after I came home from the hospital and lasted 2, maybe three days. There were a couple of moments after that but mostly then. I was in pain, couldn’t eat, couldn’t get out of bed without help.... I had a demanding toddler who didn’t understand why I couldn’t lift her and didn’t give a fig that Mommy had boo boos. It passed though, as I was quickly distracted by new challenges associated with my surgery... Mostly having to do with drinking enough fluids and eating. How to do it, how much, the grams of protein I needed, what foods were theoretically okay to eat but my body didn’t want. I treated it like levels in a video game, which made it fun.

That was very beautifully written. Good luck!

I decided to get a second set of ear piercings once I am under 200 lbs! I always wanted to but never felt myself worth the money and effort. Almost there!

Ugh. I feel the same way about friend chicken, which is practically a cardinal sin in the southern United States. Yuck!

I like @KimTriesRNY‘s grabber idea and wish I’d had one. I kept a couple flavors of protein drinks on hand, along with bone broths (higher in protein than regular), and flavored protein powder with frozen fruits for smoothies. I really struggled to get calories in immediately after I got home and having a couple options helped. Also kept water by the bedside for when I woke up in the night; those random sips can add up and make a big difference in how you feel overall. Good luck!🍀

@sideeye is right, I would worry more about sourcing the right foods on the go. Depending on where you go, there may be a significant difference in what methods, ingredients, conditions are used to prepare food.

It doesn’t seem to be unusual to have those moments. I mourned pizza and would eat half of a large pepperoni pizza by myself and have lava cake for dessert. It was a weekly occurrence for at least a year and something I am not proud of... I did that one more time the night before I started my pre-op diet. I did that again, despite months of careful food journaling to put me in the best possible condition I could be for surgery. The end result was getting unbelievably sick from the sudden influx of calories, grease, and salt. I am not at a point where I can eat solids yet, but in the future (when I can stand to look at it again, much less eat it), I will enjoy a slice of pizza again. Many of us have done things like what you and I did and gotten through it. I know you can too!

Were it me, I’d be pleased with loose clothes and gained muscle mass, although I understand why the scale would be discouraging. How often do you weigh? I only weigh once a week and until my surgery, didn’t even have a scale; I weighed once a week at work. (Same day, same clothes, same scale.) Day to day weights can vary so much, even the time of day can make a difference. Mornings are the time of day I prefer, since I work on my feet. Consider your baggier clothes a victory and try not to feel discouraged. It’s easier said than done, but please try. You’ve come so far!

I just ordered new uniforms for work.

I don’t know if this counts but I plan to burn my maternity jeans once they are too big and buy a some nice new ones for non-pregnant women. Really looking forward to doing that.

Maybe? I don’t know but I am glad you enjoyed reading. Best wishes!

@Frustr8 Sometimes it’s nice to hear, “Wow, you look wonderfully well!” After all, we’re busting tail for a better life, right? But let me tell you something. In my field (nursing), we look beyond what is skin deep. We’re looking at blood chemistry, biology on a molecular level, emotional health, and more. Body mass index plays a part in your health but it should be taken with a grain of salt. If I were looking at labs and health reports from 355 lbs You vs 321 lbs You, my first feeling would likely be pride. The difference would be tangible, measurable, and very, very laudable. I would likely think, “Wow, this patient’s labs look so much better than they used to! *check weight* And they’ve lost 37 lbs? *check diagnoses* No body wasting illnesses like cancer so that’s good.... Well, damn! Great job!” Maybe it would help to measure yourself by different methods other than pounds. You may like what you see!

I’m trying to transition from liquids to puréed food and feeling not so well today. Thinner purées like apple sauce are mostly alright but thicker foods like Greek yogurt can cause intense pain under my sternum because the air I swallow can’t work it’s way out. It’s breathtaking and stops me in my tracks. Is it too soon? I’ve reached out to my surgeon but in the meantime, do you have any input? I’m just worn out today and not feeling good at all.

@Frustr8 I freaking love your name for your sleeve. 😂

I’ve definitely scaled back and it has helped. Huge relief! I do take a PPI, post operatively, and it hasn’t hurt the situation at least. Thanks guys!

I’ve been reviewing a lot of “weight loss/bari-friendly” tupperware products lately; I start work again in 2 weeks and want the habit in place. My difficulty is finding something that works for me size-wise. Even the child sized options are a bit big and I am someone who does best with smaller plates. Any suggestions? I really liked the idea of finding tupperware with appropriate portions all in one container, even though I could just as easily make due with several small containers. I’m being a princess right now. 😑

@MargoCL This also looks like a good idea, and I like the price. Plus, anything colorful and/or shiny makes me happy. Thank you!

Ohh I think you’re right, @Matt Z. That second link is more like what I’m looking for. Thank you!