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Neri

Gastric Sleeve Patients
  • Content Count

    63
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  1. Haha
    Neri reacted to sld21 in Needed this laugh tonight   
    In my feelings lol

  2. Like
    Neri got a reaction from Creekimp13 in Looks, Health, Mobility, Longevity.....Rank these motivations for surgery   
    1. Longevity
    2. Health
    3. Family
    4. Looks
    5. Mobility

    The first three are really close together for me, so it was hard to choose the order. My main motivation for doing this was so I could live longer and healthier for my fiance. I feel like he deserves to have someone to live a long, healthy life with.
  3. Like
    Neri reacted to Missouri-Lee's Summit in Should I be offended?!   
    I do not care for my surgeon as a person, but as a surgeon I know he's well-qualified. Obviously, it would be great to have a surgeon that didn't talk and behave like an ass, but if you're willing to overlook his bedside shortcomings in exchange for a competent surgeon, then feel confident that you made a good decision.
    Do I find your surgeon's comments inappropriate and sexist? Absolutely. Would I have wished that I had the perfect comeback when he made his disparaging remarks about women who want to build healthy muscle? Absolutely. My guess is that you're mainly peeved because he got away with saying what he said, and you weren't able (out of sheer disbelief perhaps) to challenge his asshattery. Instead of being able to express yourself fully with him, your only outlet (and a less satisfying outlet) is to vent here.
    I doubt if I'm alone as a woman in feeling hesitant to speak up for myself. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I often "flew away". It took years of therapy before I could rid myself of that shame.
    In some ways, I was conditioned, as are many women, to be shrinking violets. There's also the issue of status involved in your case. We've been taught to respect certain professionals, doctors included. So, here you are confronted by a male doctor who completely caught you off-guard by basically equating unattractiveness with muscles. Heck, we're already fat and feeling bad about that, now to be told that to build muscle is unfeminine. Wow. Imagine paying an insurance co-pay to hear all this crap.
    It's important for you to be a strong self-advocate. You are taking a life-changing step with weight-loss surgery, so why stop there? For your own self-respect, I'd politely but firmly revisit this conversation by letting him know that you were offended by his views on women who lift weights and press him about whether there is a medical reason for you to not lift weights or if this was just his subjective view.
    If you read my profile statement, you'll discover that I had a negative hospital experience with my doctor. Yes, I vented like crazy here and elsewhere, but as soon as I saw my surgeon at my first follow-up appointment walking down the hall (I was actually supposed to see a nurse practitioner for this visit), I approached him with confidence, touched his arm, and said, "Dr. S---, I am not very happy with you. In fact, I'm very disappointed." He was so taken off-guard by my bluntness that he escorted me into the exam room and spent 45 minutes worth of damage control on me. You can imagine the bewilderment of the nurse when she walked in and he was with me. She probably thought she was the one in trouble. The point is, I took back some of the dignity that I felt had been taken from me previously.
    Yes, it was "just" a statement about muscles, but where do you draw the line? You wouldn't be here venting if it didn't bother the becheezits out of you.
    Believe me, you'll feel better about yourself for at least trying to stand up for yourself. It might not go over well, maybe you feel clumsy getting out your words, but it's better than saying nothing. Practice self-advocacy until it becomes second nature. The older I get, the easier it's becoming. When you don't speak up for yourself, you are essentially giving the other person the power and permission to put you down.
  4. Like
    Neri reacted to Missouri-Lee's Summit in Toxic relationship with food   
    Growing up, you could not get up from the table until everything had been eaten. The glorified clean plate club...
    We called it "The Happy Plate". If you finished everything, that was a"happy" thing. You only got dessert if you had a happy plate. I'm sorry to say that I passed on this "noble" traditional to my children.
    ---------
    I could feel the pain and sadness in every word of your post. For good or bad, you also have a "toxic" relationship with the English language. You're just too darn eloquent.
    Why are you convinced that the sleeve, instead of the bypass, is for you? I'm biased, of course, but I'm also curious.
    I wish I had something equally as eloquent to say in return. I guess I never had the foresight to buy multiple drinks in the drive-thru, though I did ask for two Big Macs and two fries in separate bags once.
    The encouraging thing I see in your post is that for each "sin", you seem to have an inner plea for change and a determination to end this toxic relationship. You want to succeed but fear is holding you back. Is this a rational fear or a defensive and irrational one? By the latter, I mean you've already put up a defense of sorts by "pre-convincing" yourself that you won't be able to stop eating despite having surgery. Why, then, get the surgery, it won't work for me anyway? That's a defensive fear.
    The person with whom you have the psych evaluation doesn't have to be the person you talk to about your relationship with food. That said, I don't think that merely having a toxic relationship with food precludes you from surgery. The psychologist wants to know if you are committed. Are you? You sound like you want to be free of the hold food has on you. It sounds as though there is a deep, but hidden urge to get healthy. That fear is blocking your urge to act. Deal with your fears first, so you can move on. Be your own self-advocate. Do what you would do for yourself if you were your own best friend. And you should be your best friend. I know that sounds corny, but it is often the turning point to action. Help your best friend; she needs you!
    Lastly, you broke free of one fear already (to a certain extent anyway) by baring your soul here. So now that you're here, continue to use us. Misuse us. We don't care which, just keep talking. Hopefully, the feedback you receive will help you to make some life-changing decisions. If you've been lurking here for a while, you've no doubt read posts from people who think they're ready but who are trying to make bargains involving food before they even start. "I want to have surgery, but I still want to eat and do this." or "I'm okay with getting healthy, as long as I can keep doing certain unhealthy things." I don't want to reveal this post to you here, but I can private message it to you so you can see what I mean by a bargainer. You don't appear to be a bargainer to me. I think you're ready, by virtue of what you've said above, to put on and lace up your walking shoes. (I'd say running shoes but those come later.. Heck, I've had surgery and I'm far from running.)
    I hope my words aren't too trite because I desperately want to say something --anything-- that is encouraging and meaningful to you, but if I continue to ramble on... well... I...uh...
  5. Like
    Neri got a reaction from taylor2021 in Questions?   
    Maybe this is just me, but some of the questions I asked my surgeon when I first met him are:
    -"How long have you been doing this?"
    -"Around how many surgeries have you done?"
    -"About how many patients are successful with this program?"
    These questions will help you get a feel for the surgeon and the program that they follow.
    At least in my experience, I've noticed that different groups seem to do their programs slightly differently. For example, the first surgeon that I was going to only did the bare minimum for insurance. However, the surgeon I'm going I'm going to now requires three extra nutritionist appointments as well as three support group meetings both before and after surgery.
    Also, if the surgeon you're thinking about going to has an introductory group meeting, even if it's optional, I recommend going to it. Even if you've done a lot of research, you may still walk away having learned something new!
  6. Like
    Neri got a reaction from taylor2021 in Questions?   
    Maybe this is just me, but some of the questions I asked my surgeon when I first met him are:
    -"How long have you been doing this?"
    -"Around how many surgeries have you done?"
    -"About how many patients are successful with this program?"
    These questions will help you get a feel for the surgeon and the program that they follow.
    At least in my experience, I've noticed that different groups seem to do their programs slightly differently. For example, the first surgeon that I was going to only did the bare minimum for insurance. However, the surgeon I'm going I'm going to now requires three extra nutritionist appointments as well as three support group meetings both before and after surgery.
    Also, if the surgeon you're thinking about going to has an introductory group meeting, even if it's optional, I recommend going to it. Even if you've done a lot of research, you may still walk away having learned something new!
  7. Like
    Neri got a reaction from Screwballski in 100 down from lifetime high 11 years ago!   
    How exciting! Congratulations!
  8. Like
    Neri reacted to TakingABreak in SMH   
    I’m not a “vet” by any means but I’ve had a lot of success since my surgery and I’ve been on this site for a good 9 months. And I love being a part of this community. So I want to say this first, I posted in Rants & Raves for a reason....

    - “I’m 5 day’s post op and it’s not working”. Miracles don’t happen overnight. The amount of people who think that they will wake up from surgery feeling amazing and all their problems solved. SMH
    - “I haven’t lost anything in 3-4 months and I’m 6 months post op”. I’m all about helping but I hate when people post about how they aren’t loosing and then don’t offer any information on their diet, exercise, Vitamin intake, ect. And half the time they drop off the face of the earth when you ask them.....SMH
    - The pre-op diet sucks, that is all. SMH
    -“I’m still hungry”. I hate that a common misconception that hunger is going to disappear. It doesn’t happen to everyone. But common sense would tell you that, liquids aren’t filling. Wait until you are on solids again to worry about your hunger levels. SMH

    Ok I’m done! Thanks guys for letting me get that off my chest. Some days you just have to rant.

    And PS. I know that people don’t always know the stuff I mentioned above, so when I’m not overly irritated by these gross misunderstandings about the process...I’m happy to help!

  9. Haha
    Neri reacted to ShimmyShade in How are you doing?   
    Look them in the eye and just start screaming. Don't stop screaming. As they back away don't break eye contact. The questions will stop then.
  10. Like
    Neri reacted to Creekimp13 in One piece of advice for weight loss success...   
    Stop worrying about "losing the most" and invest in healthy habits you can live with, self-love, sane consistent new ways of dealing with nutrition and fitness, and realistic expectations.
    So often I see people trying to punish themselves thin and it's crazy. You can't starve yourself forever. You can't deny yourself everything forever. You can't exercise like a maniac forever. At some point, the punishment has to stop and you need to deal with making peace with diet and exercise....and stop the war.
    My biggest piece of advice? Be PATIENT. You didn't become morbidly obese in a few months. It's going to take years to undo those bad habits. Just keep working and don't give up.
  11. Like
    Neri reacted to TakingABreak in One piece of advice for weight loss success...   
    Patience is a virtue.
    Stalls are inevitable
    Stick to the program.
    Learn to love yourself again.
  12. Like
    Neri reacted to nibble in One piece of advice for weight loss success...   
    Stay on this forum and keep reaching out when you feel weak, mad, sad or anything else. Emotional support is PRICELESS when you need a boost or a rap upside the head! We will offer our best suggestions to help, and if they don't help, they will help you clarify to yourself what needs to happen. Cannot stress this enough -- Stay. On. This. Forum.
  13. Like
    Neri got a reaction from Frustr8 in I was suprised with sleeve surgery a week ago.   
    I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience, but I am glad that healing is going well for you! I do agree with madscientistmommy and Frustr8 though. You should try to find a surgeon near you. They'll be able to better help you with your nutrition needs and, as Frustr8 said, help you find peace with what's been done.
  14. Like
    Neri got a reaction from ElanBri in Managing Insulin Resistance?   
    I've heard of people drinking diluted apple cider vinegar. I've never tried it myself though. I've also never heard of taking chromium supplements. I may have to bring that up to my surgeon. Thank you!
  15. Like
    Neri got a reaction from Frustr8 in Surgery Tomorrow!!! Holy Crap!!!   
    I would think that it's normal to be nervous, but I'm sure you'll do fine. Congrats!
  16. Like
    Neri reacted to DMomof3 in Nice to meet you!   
    Hi Neri, I’m in pa too. I’m having gastric bypass May 21st at West penn hospital. My surgeon is Dr. Marr. Hope your process moves quickly for you.



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