Sleeved36

Loose skin is likely to happen. The more weight you have to lose, and where you carry your weight coupled with genetics will play a role in how much will be there.
In six or seven months, you may not have a terribly large amount. I noticed more of my skin wrinkling up once I lost over 120 pounds.
If you are confident enough to wear a swimsuit now, you will be in April. You will be looking and feeling so much better you will not believe it!
Maybe your sister is jealous of you taking control of your health? Siblings can be strange...

You're going to rock that swimming suit and make your sister green with envy. Embrace the positive changes that are coming your way. You'll be a much slimmer you and you'll feel more confident. Loose skin is part of the weight loss journey, but that's something that can be addressed at a later time and is much less of an issue than being obese.

Unlike many people on here, you and I live with other full-grown adults who make their own food decisions. Maybe it doesn't bother you when your son brings something very unhealthy into the house, but I admit, it makes it very hard for me. When one of my boys made fried chicken the other night, I ate a small piece. I shouldn't have; it makes it harder for me to stay on plan. Having four other, non-obese people in the house means I have to face temptation every single day and it sucks.
Ryan, I get what you're saying about avoiding people who eat poorly or are inactive, but there are plenty of normal-weight women who will present the same unhealthy temptations as overweight women. You might actually do best finding a compatible person in the support group meetings for WLS. They are chock-full of people who are trying to eat healthy and exercise more.

Thank you for your response.
My aversion to dating overweight people is not aesthetic. I’m concerned if I’m around someone who eats poorly or is inactive, I’ll begin to eat poorly or be inactive. Obesity is socially contagious, and much of my success has been due to being single in the first place - I didn’t need to be around unhealthy food for anyone else’s sake. I’m actually impressed with those who did have to be around unhealthy food and yet still succeeded. I don’t think I could have.

I’m just frustrated with dating. Two years after surgery I know I will always need to be vigilant to keep weight off. I can’t be with someone who struggles with food or isn’t active. I’ll get sucked right into their lifestyle.
It makes me feel shallow, even though I know it shouldn’t, and it limits the dating pool. I guess I didn’t have any expectations concerning relationships after weight loss, but I did/do have aspirations. I’m tired of being single, and when you exclude overweight women, single moms, women 8+ years older than you, people who don’t have their **** together, women who want kids, and people so into Jesus it’s in the first 15 words of their dating profile, it’s like trying to find a specific needle in a haystack-sized pile of needles. It’s frustrating and sometimes it hurts.
That’s my venting for the day. Off to find something enjoyable.

Ahahaha
Online dating is like online shopping for me... Often things come damaged and I just want my money back...😓

Those threads remind me why I'd rather be single than miserable and to never take $π!+ from anyone...

This is a rant, not a rave, and it's worth noting that I'm angrier than usual, right now, because the news (in the US) has me rubbed raw, and I don't imagine being on the pre-op liquid diet is exactly helping my mood.
Anyway...
I always have this very strong set of emotions for everyone in these forums whose partners aren't supportive. A little of it is that I'm impressed at their fortitude--I just wouldn't put up with some of the behavior I read about, and I admire their patience. (I don't think they should put up with most of those behaviors, to be clear; I'm just impressed that they can.) Some of it is bafflement, that they do put up with it and don't leave, or react negatively enough to prevent the behavior from recurring. Some of it is, you know, specific anger at the partners' lack of support, and some of it is just a deepening of this constant underlying feminist rage that so many of us have been feeling in recent years, because gender roles so often play such a huge part in all of this, and it's infuriating, in 2018, when we should all know better. (There are, on occasion, unsupportive wives, sure, absolutely. But that is not what the bulk of the stories we see here are. Please don't @ me with stories of unsupportive wives. All of this post applies to them, too, besides the part right before the parentheses.)
We just see so much bad behavior. "This is extra hard because I have to cook for my partner and kids." Have to? "My partner keeps bringing my specific trigger food into the house after I've asked him not to. There are any number of Snacks he'd enjoy as much, foods that wouldn't be problems for me, but he brings that." "My partner told me not to have the surgery, even though all of my doctors support it, even though I have educated him about the benefits and about how minimal the risks are, and even though insurance covers most of it."
It makes me furious. And there isn't a thing I, or anyone else on these forums, can do about it. Encouraging people to leave their partners when they aren't ready to do so is rarely helpful. (And I do recognize we're only getting part of the story. Maybe not every single one of these people we hear about deserves a breakup/divorce, though a few of them... whew.) The kind of bad behavior we see some partners exhibiting is probably not a good indicator that they'd be up for couples' counseling, so there's not a ton of value in suggesting that. I guess we can encourage the person coming to us on the forums to seek their own therapy; that's how a lot of folks learn to set good boundaries and to see the patterns that are constructive, versus those that are destructive.
But it's infuriating, right? Like, we can tell people how to change their own behavior, how to work around sabotage, but we know they're going to have this constant battle, for as long as their partner refuses to change--or to allow them to change, which is more the point.
I guess, for my own part, I could do a better job of avoiding those threads. If I can't help (at least not much), then there's not a lot of sense in getting on that emotional rollercoaster in the first place. But now I know how widespread this is, and I'm ... just ... so ... angry!

This is me sharing how I'm lucky in my housemate, which isn't going to make anyone who is frustrated feel better, probably. Feel free to skip. ❤️
My spouse isn't into the sugar substitutes, so "my" stuff is safe. He will also--I say this having done Ideal Protein (meat and low-carb veggies), Weight Watchers (low carb, low saturated fat), and Paleo-but-with-beans, but not having done purees for a month or more--generally eat whatever I cook. This week (liquid pre-op diet) has been a little hard. I nearly had to leave the room when he had an apple this afternoon. But we've got lots of foods I won't eat anymore for him to work through, and he is apparently perfectly happy to make himself a bowl of Pasta and pour undoctored (uggghhhh) spaghetti sauce on it for dinner. Or to add frozen fruit to some yogurt and granola. So.
I'm hoping that, once I'm back off of liquids, maybe he'll be OK with eating the ricotta bake on pasta, or with refried Beans in a whole grain wrap--stuff to bulk up my meals and make them more like "normal" food, and also to let us eat together. I know he's happy with eggs/omelettes for dinner, so that's an easy one. He is not a super picky eater, and on the occasions when I make something he doesn't like (like a tuna salad or something with too much zucchini) he is capable of taking care of himself.
He's not perfect--I married a human, after all--but he's good and supportive, and I appreciate him.

I'd feel poor and pitiful if I had to cook decadent stuff for Mr. F and then I had to live on chicken and turkey. He eats what I eat--one set of food--limited treats to keep us both on track. We're having salmon and broccoli for dins. I'm sure he'd rather a steak or burger but oh **** oh dear--I'm the cook and sux to be him! 😳

I do that. They hid the Sharpie. I got another one!

If you aren't already, I'd grab a sharpie and start labeling all of the stuff that is yours with your name. It might not stop them, but at least they won't have plausible deniability, "oh, I didn't know that was just for you." And maybe they'll feel a tinge of guilt when they do it.

Yes, it's very unsupportive and irritating.

Do you get mad when someone eats your food, when there is plenty of other food for them? I am talking adults here not kids. I have very little to choose from they can eat anything. It feels degrading, like my needs are unimportant.
Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

I officially weigh less than any of the four men living in my house! (Husband and 3 grown sons, all 6'1" - 6'3")
I have NEVER, EVER, EVER weighed less than my husband in the 30 years we have been together! YEAH!!!!!!

Thanks everyone. I know I have to get my head in the game, but if food was not so hard to master, I wouldn't be on here in the first place. Moving forward, I am going to do exactly as directed. No slip ups. Thank you so much for the encouragement!

I have lost 45 pounds and I am so happy about this. I am so glad that I had the sleeve done. It has been almost 5 months since my surgery.

thanks so much, for this, I guess that its all facing the unknowen, Its really babd that I enjoy the felling all these foods give me, but am hoping that this surgery will help me with my emotional eating. Dam you chocolate grrrrrrrr

Love your post sleeved36 and is so real. I am 5 weeks post op and have lost 31 lbs (including preop). We are heading towards way smaller portions of the food we love on occasion not all the time .

Way to go!
So happy for you. Hope the victories just keep coming!

I had food funerals too. Don't panic, after your belly heals you can eat your favorite foods again, just much much less of them.
Before everyone freaks out and questions everything about my lifestyle, diet, and dedication to the process; please keep reading. I follow my post op diet and exercise. I am steadily losing weight. That doesn't mean that I don't occasionally have a few bites of something or wine, just to stay sane.
I think that if I really thought through the fact that I am changing my life, but not giving up everything forever; I wouldn't have had so many food funerals.

I went through the same thing!
The magic addition for me was Fiber. Filling in with a few more vegetables really helped and some metamucil occasionally too.
You will find a new normal, everyone is different and you will find what works for you.

I went through the same thing!
The magic addition for me was Fiber. Filling in with a few more vegetables really helped and some metamucil occasionally too.
You will find a new normal, everyone is different and you will find what works for you.

I finished the last bottle of wine in my fridge on the first day of my liquid diet!

Thank you all SO MUCH! It has definitely not been a simple easy loss, I’ve worked my butt off (literally, I’ve no butt 😭) to get here between fighting the cravings, watching what I eat, and pushing my workouts I have to say I feel incredible! Best decision I have ever made. Here is a quick pic from today. I HAVE A WAIST!!!!