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SueSaBelle got a reaction from ohjuly7878 in Let's talk about body dysmorphia
I was glad to stumble onto this topic. I have always found that I have denied how big or small I was. What makes me even angrier is looking back at my 7th grade picture I was the smallest girl on my volleyball team but my Mom made me feel like I was a whale with her comments and way of dieting. I realize that she loves me in her own way but her diet information was never good. I think it caused me to become an emotional eater which compounded problems.
So how do you change 35 years of negative voices in your head that resemble your parents? Phrases like " You look wonderful in your bridesmaid dress but if you lost some weight, you would be stunning" (Dad) or "Men don't marry fat women so you better lose that weight" (Mom). It takes a therapist telling you that certain behaviors I grew up with were actually emotional abuse. It takes a husband who loves you no matter how much you weigh telling you over and over again that your Mother isn't always right. It is the realization that every morning I wake up, I no longer have that deep bone achiness and pain that I was use to and thought was normal. It comes from facing 50 and realizing that I will never become the tight toned 20 something that I could be if I just lost the extra weight. I know that life is always going to have problems and losing weight will not make them all magically go away.
I have a ways to go but I am trying to be realistic about my weight loss and being happy and loving with myself as a person who is aging. I truly think coming here and reading about everyone else's experiences helps. I know that I am not alone.
This article was very interesting to me: https://www.thecut.com/2013/11/what-no-one-tells-you-about-dramatic-weight-loss.html
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SueSaBelle got a reaction from FluffySaysForkIt! in Spouse
My husband was against it until I needed a total hip replacement due to Stage 4 osteoarthritis at age 48. What really sealed the deal is when we went for the initial consultation and the surgeon explained how when our bodies reach a certain point they fight losing weight and how bad yo-yo dieting is and no matter how much you diet, it is not your fault that you can't lose weight. I began to cry when I heard that. For years my mother told me, "If you had more willpower, you could lose the weight." It really upset my husband to see me cry, because he thought I was generally happy and he never really noticed my extra weight. Since then, he has been 100% on board and my biggest help with the mental and emotional aspects of losing weight. He combats the negative voices in my head and I am learning that I am worth self-love.
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SueSaBelle got a reaction from FluffySaysForkIt! in Spouse
My husband was against it until I needed a total hip replacement due to Stage 4 osteoarthritis at age 48. What really sealed the deal is when we went for the initial consultation and the surgeon explained how when our bodies reach a certain point they fight losing weight and how bad yo-yo dieting is and no matter how much you diet, it is not your fault that you can't lose weight. I began to cry when I heard that. For years my mother told me, "If you had more willpower, you could lose the weight." It really upset my husband to see me cry, because he thought I was generally happy and he never really noticed my extra weight. Since then, he has been 100% on board and my biggest help with the mental and emotional aspects of losing weight. He combats the negative voices in my head and I am learning that I am worth self-love.
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SueSaBelle got a reaction from Cala B. in Favorite non scale victory
My favorite NSV was when my husband and I went to the new Little Ceaser's Arena for Pink's concert. I had never been but many people told me how small the seats were which became a huge anxiety fixation. Everyone knows that feeling...well my husband sat down first and had to squeeze in because in the first row of mezzanine the drink holders were on the arms of the seats and made it even more of a tight squeeze. He told me, "I don't know, honey, if I had to squeeze in, it might be tougher for you."
I SLIDE IN EASILY AND HAD SPARE ROOM IN MY SEAT!!!!! I could even cross my legs in my seat. Yes, it was an amazing feeling to let all of the anxiety and stress go and enjoy Pink's amazing performance. My husband even apologized - he knew I weighed less then him now but that really demonstrated it.
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SueSaBelle reacted to FluffyChix in One Year Post RNY Surgery - FluffyChix
Hey y'all. Just wanted to share a milestone I'm very proud of and actually doubted ever being able to reach. I just had my 1 year surgeon's and RD's visit after RNY surgery. A year ago I was here (yes that tree was my happy spot, and it stayed up until St. Patrick's Day *snort*).
And here I was at my most recent high, very sick weight of 287lbs (about 2 years ago). When I first saw my surgeon, I had been dieting on my own for 6 months and had lost down to 256lbs. The 256lbs was used to compute my RNY 6 month countdown. I'm the one of the left in case you were wondering--all 287 lbs.
Most of you know my story so I won't bore you with it here. I was very sick and on a ton of meds for everything from high BP to asthma, cancer drugs, thyroid meds (I think about 12 in all--not including vitamins). Fast forward one year and today I'm only on 3 drugs: PPI, cancer drug, thyroid pill (which I can hopefully wean off of when I reach goal) + eleventy billion vitamins/minerals=fair trade!
And here I am as of yesterday. I have a raging cold and feel terrible, still feel MILES better than I did what feels like so very long ago. I'm 56 years old and per my doc and RD I am at "goal weight" at 142lbs. I still want to lose another 7-12 lbs. I don't think I'm at risk of becoming too thin. And I'm pretty sure when all is said and done and maintenance starts, my booty will still be there. LOL. But we'll see what the next 6 months of continued weight loss efforts + exercising/toning bring to the equation.
Today I focus on eating the most nutritionally dense, calorically light (hello, cuz I still want to lose) meals that I can find, with time off for poor choices and bad behavior. I'd say I'm about 95% on plan and 5% forkin' off on average and it fits my life. I'm asked all the time if I have any regrets or if I'm "sad I can't still have such-and-such." But what people don't get is that it isn't about what I can't eat, it's about choosing to not eat in a way that won me a lifetime invitation to the Obesity Ball. I can still eat anything and everything I want and in sufficient quantities to be a danger to myself and small rodents. So from that perspective, nothing changed from pre to post-surgery. I have zero. Repeat. Zero. Regrets.
"No REGERTS" hehe (other than not doing this years ago).
I've had very very minor no complications, and my life is infinitely improved--even with the baggy saggy skin, elephant testicals on my upper thighs, and hairless Sue on my head. Yes there is Hair loss of significant proportions. That's my "pagent hair" I'm wearing. I try to walk 1 hour per day 6-7 days per week and am trying very hard to start toning and building muscle and improving my balance and strength. None of those are my strong suits--I'm not a big exercise fan, but I'm learning to love it and learning new tools/skills to help me maintain this loss and lifestyle for the long term.
I hope this helps lift someone up who might be knee deep in the suck today, and I offer this post as proof that tomorrow DOES come. And it IS a better tomorrow.
Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. If a weak, reckless, broken down old crone like me can do this, how much better will you be able to? I want to thank every VET and Sophomore and person who has helped me along on this journey from fat to fit to fabulous!!! Thank you for your time, patience and answering my millions and billions of questions over this time!!!! And thanks to Alex and his team for building such an incredible site to get and give support where we can also find those things we need to help make our journey easier!!! TY Bariatric Pal. It's been a great year and I'm looking forward to Year 2.
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SueSaBelle got a reaction from AnnFrances in September bypass buddies??
I feel the same mc2017!
My surgery was changed from August 27th to September 5th because of the OR getting some changes. I will be having mine with Dr. Taylor at Barix Clinics of Michigan in Ypsilanti. This has been a long process that started in January 2018 because I had stage 4 osteoarthritis in my right hip. I have since had a total hip replacement but my left hip has stage 2 osteoarthritis. At 48, I am too young to feel this damn old. My orthopedic surgeon assures me that losing the extra weight will get me back to my dancing days with the Hubby. Thankfully, Hubby understands that I am doing this to get back to my old self and to be able to keep up with him.
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SueSaBelle reacted to OpsMatt in Roller Coasters?!
For Disney you should be fine on pretty much everything even over 300lbs except maybe Rock n Roller Coaster and definitely Flight of Passage in the Avatar area of Animal Kingdom. Most other traditional amusement parks you can't be much larger than 220-230 with the right body proportions to fit on the most intense rides. Many of them have seat belts in addition to lap bars and you have to be able to buckle the belt and lock the lap bars in the correct position to ride. The nice thing is that many parks offer test seats at the entrance for you to try out before you wait in line. Some of them even have indicator lights for how close you are.
The key thing about many of these is that it's not strictly about how much you weigh but where you carry your weight. If you carry it more in your butt and thighs you will have trouble with seats that have any sort of side edge to them. If you have a larger chest or abdominal area you will have trouble with over the shoulder restraints and seatbelts. Generally as a rule of thumb if your waist size is less than 40" and your chest is less than 54" you can fit on pretty much anything.
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SueSaBelle got a reaction from cindih576 in September bypass buddies??
Hello everyone! How is everyone doing? It has been 15 days since surgery and I have lost 15 lbs (24 lbs total) and 13 inches overall. I saw the doctor and nutritionist yesterday and everything is on track. I had a small blip with a scrambled egg getting stuck last Friday but after calling the doctor, I waited it out and went back to eating pureed foods. I am now on soft foods for the next 2-4 weeks depending on my tolerance. It really boggled my mind when my nutritionist said I could have toasted bread or crackers (saltine or Ritz). After years of different diets, I have to concentrate on the new rules. I don't plan on eating these because I know before surgery I would sit and eat a whole sleeve of Ritz at a time. Thank goodness that my tool will no longer allow me to do that.
I have been very fortunate that I haven't had any of the nausea or dizziness. I have had low energy but I make a point to walk a mile every day (weather permitting). I am suppose to increase that mileage as time goes by to 3 miles. I also am having regular bowel movements which is a relief! LOL
I am heading back to work on Monday to a desk job with a restriction to not lift more than 10 lbs for the next 4 weeks providing that Medical at work clears me.
The only thing is that I am still having pains in my left lower abdomen. My doctor said this is very normal since that is where he did the most work and to expect it to continue for the next 4 weeks. I am no longer taking any pain reliever because if I do, I will over do it. Doctor told me no vacuuming, mopping, reaching, bending for the next 4 weeks because I am still healing from Major Abdominal Surgery!!! LOL I have found that if I wear my binder at night, I can sleep better since I tend to roll over to sleep on my side. I do not wear it during the day because it can still be uncomfortable to sit in certain chairs and the binder adds extra pressure.
Overall, I have to say that I am extremely happy that I had gastric bypass. I am no longer aching in my left hip and other joints. This tells me how much food plays a part on inflammation on my body. Now to remember this so I don't go back to eating and drinking things that I shouldn't. I know they say that eventually everything in moderation is okay but I don't want to feel horrible again.
Have a great day everyone!!!!
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SueSaBelle got a reaction from Separ1418 in September bypass buddies??
I stayed for 2 nights and came home around noon on Friday. This is normal for gastric bypass at the Barix clinic in Michigan.
I am also happy to report that I have had normal BMs 🤣, am able to get my 70 grams of Protein in using Premier Protein shakes and Bone Broth, and also my 64 oz of Water. The pains on the left side are still pretty intense, especially when I try to get comfortable in bed but supposedly should ease up by the end of the week.
Sent from my XT1650 using BariatricPal mobile app
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SueSaBelle got a reaction from clsumrall in September bypass buddies??
Today is the day! Nervous, excited and ready to be healthier. Keep me in your prayers please.
Sent from my XT1650 using BariatricPal mobile app
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SueSaBelle got a reaction from FluffyChix in GALS who started their journey over 300 lb+<br /> +
Checking in to say I am doing really well. I am grateful for this opportunity to work on loving myself. For a moment, I felt bad because I told my Mom and brother that I appreciate them wanting to come see me but I am not up to having visitors. My Mom did not want me to have this surgery and my weight has been an issue between us since I was 11 years old. That's 37 years of judgement and advice on how no man will look at you if your fat. She was wrong about that, my hubby of 6 years is amazing. Mom was a little upset when I called her but I have to do what is best for me right now. Some of the emotional issues my therapist warned me about are being revealed and I have to learn how to feel things instead of eating the pain and guilt away. Right now I am walking and journalling.
How does everyone else handle the emotional ticking time bombs that come up when you least expect it?
Sent from my XT1650 using BariatricPal mobile app
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SueSaBelle reacted to Ronnysgal in Having the reversal
Hello everyone! Well very excited to tell you the surgery went very well. Tomorrow I will be two weeks post op and have been mostly on a liquid diet, but the small things I have eaten such as pudding and oatmeal have stayed down with no problem. I am having no abdominal pain other then the minor irritation from the incisions no worries there.
I am actually already feeling the results of having the large intestine back in tact and feeling the nourishment from the food I am ingesting. I am so happy at this point in time. I have now lost exactly 200lbs so I am over 40lbs past where I should have stopped. I obviously do not want to gain all my weight back but do look forward to at least being able to keep things down, in and get the benefit of my food intake whether or not I gain some back or not. I lost from a size 32/34 to currently a size 10. At over 5'9 and large framed that was a lot for the body to take in a year and a half.
I will let everyone know how it continues to go, but I do want to say thank you so much for all the kind words of support, and for those that have no other solution for severe bypass issues I am up till this point, proof that there maybe a solution albeit it may have to be a reversal.
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SueSaBelle reacted to nibble in GALS who started their journey over 300 lb+<br /> +
You are so correct about that, and each time you say NO to someone it will get easier and easier. You are putting boundaries around you and teaching others how you expect to be treated. You walk, and you journal, girl. If others have a problem with your focus on attending to YOUR needs, then the problem is THEIRS, not yours. You are not responsible for their reaction. Coping with the feelings is another issue, and the strategy will be different for everyone. For me, I journal, look at the charts I keep about my progress so far and congratulate myself. Under extreme stress, I do scream therapy: take a pillow and scream as loud as you can into it. I usually end up laughing at how ridiculous I must look, but it works!
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SueSaBelle got a reaction from FluffyChix in GALS who started their journey over 300 lb+<br /> +
Checking in to say I am doing really well. I am grateful for this opportunity to work on loving myself. For a moment, I felt bad because I told my Mom and brother that I appreciate them wanting to come see me but I am not up to having visitors. My Mom did not want me to have this surgery and my weight has been an issue between us since I was 11 years old. That's 37 years of judgement and advice on how no man will look at you if your fat. She was wrong about that, my hubby of 6 years is amazing. Mom was a little upset when I called her but I have to do what is best for me right now. Some of the emotional issues my therapist warned me about are being revealed and I have to learn how to feel things instead of eating the pain and guilt away. Right now I am walking and journalling.
How does everyone else handle the emotional ticking time bombs that come up when you least expect it?
Sent from my XT1650 using BariatricPal mobile app
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SueSaBelle reacted to FluffyChix in GALS who started their journey over 300 lb+<br /> +
I will also get up and walk around the house!
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SueSaBelle reacted to RHCD in GALS who started their journey over 300 lb+<br /> +
First off good for you for saying what you need to your mom and brother. That is huge and really hard.
Honestly I’m still figuring out how to deal with those time bombs that are lying in wait for me to to trip in them. Right now I make sure I don’t turn to food as that comfort. It’s a mental game. Sometimes it’s just taking a moment to concentrate on my breathing. Basically shutting my eyes and my brain off and hearing off to just listen to my breathing. I’ll then work towards asking myself gently why I was triggered and work from there. Sometimes I just need a hug so I’ll get that from my Mr or a snuggle from my kitties or pup. Sometimes I’ll just go for a quick walk even just around the block. Sometimes I’ll vent text my best girl friend. Sometimes I’ll just take a really long drink of Water to let my brain catch up. Basically I have a list of things I try to do instead of turning to eating. -
SueSaBelle got a reaction from FluffyChix in GALS who started their journey over 300 lb+<br /> +
Checking in to say I am doing really well. I am grateful for this opportunity to work on loving myself. For a moment, I felt bad because I told my Mom and brother that I appreciate them wanting to come see me but I am not up to having visitors. My Mom did not want me to have this surgery and my weight has been an issue between us since I was 11 years old. That's 37 years of judgement and advice on how no man will look at you if your fat. She was wrong about that, my hubby of 6 years is amazing. Mom was a little upset when I called her but I have to do what is best for me right now. Some of the emotional issues my therapist warned me about are being revealed and I have to learn how to feel things instead of eating the pain and guilt away. Right now I am walking and journalling.
How does everyone else handle the emotional ticking time bombs that come up when you least expect it?
Sent from my XT1650 using BariatricPal mobile app
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SueSaBelle got a reaction from FluffyChix in GALS who started their journey over 300 lb+<br /> +
Checking in to say I am doing really well. I am grateful for this opportunity to work on loving myself. For a moment, I felt bad because I told my Mom and brother that I appreciate them wanting to come see me but I am not up to having visitors. My Mom did not want me to have this surgery and my weight has been an issue between us since I was 11 years old. That's 37 years of judgement and advice on how no man will look at you if your fat. She was wrong about that, my hubby of 6 years is amazing. Mom was a little upset when I called her but I have to do what is best for me right now. Some of the emotional issues my therapist warned me about are being revealed and I have to learn how to feel things instead of eating the pain and guilt away. Right now I am walking and journalling.
How does everyone else handle the emotional ticking time bombs that come up when you least expect it?
Sent from my XT1650 using BariatricPal mobile app
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SueSaBelle got a reaction from clsumrall in Hungry a lot post op
Matt as I get closer to my surgical date (9/5/2018) I am getting more anxious. I have done lots of reading and research so I know this is the right thing for me to do. As I scour these forums for last minute information, I have to tell you that your posts are very reassuring. It is funny because my husband is really supportive and reminds me that I will handle this like I handle everything, with grace and strength. However, it isn't the same as someone who as already traveled a similar road. I really do appreciate your advice and Thank you!
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SueSaBelle got a reaction from clsumrall in September bypass buddies??
Today is the day! Nervous, excited and ready to be healthier. Keep me in your prayers please.
Sent from my XT1650 using BariatricPal mobile app
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SueSaBelle got a reaction from FluffyChix in GALS who started their journey over 300 lb+<br /> +
We Got This!