ajmsp8879

On 2/15/2018 at 10:57 AM, Creekimp13 said:

For 20 years, I dieted, and lied to myself.

Went back and forth between two extremes. You might be familiar with them.

One was called....Screw it, you're fat, so what? I drank a two liter of Pepsi daily, loved bread, french fries, chicken tenders, and chocolate turtle ice cream pie. I also love food that was good for me. And food that had sprinkles. And grease. And sugar. And anything hot out of an oven. And....well, you get the picture. My husband laughed at me for putting excess bacon on my veggie burgers.

The other me was....The Fitness Nazi. I was the autistic savant of calorie counting. Like Rain man, I could look at a deconstructed plate of stuff and guess calories with the accuracy of a food scientist. I was all about counting my grapes, going from one fad diet to the next. This time, I'm going to find the answer to fast weight loss. Must be thin. Not healthy. Not strong. Thin. And I'd like to be thin as fast as possible, please. Need to go to the gym. I hate the gym. Go anyway, you're fat, you must repent and be punished by the gym to be excused of your sin of fattness. Must never again eat anything white, or carb, or that casts a shadow. I'm a perfectionist, dammit. I can DO THIS!

Speaking of Fatness. Remember The Hunger Games? I went to a costume party last year as the fat version of Katniss Everdeen: Fatness NeverLean. My flaming dress had porkchops on it.

For 20 years...I went back and forth between two lies. I'm not either of these people.

I'm not in denial about how bad obesity is for your health. I care. But I'm not a Fitness Nazi either. I don't care about being thin.

For me...I needed to make peace with food, not fight a war against it. And man, sometimes if feels like that's all we do. Just endlessly battle. I'm tried, man. Just really tired of the war.

What helped me the most...is escaping an extremist mindset.

I'm tired of extremes.

I don't want to binge on crap anymore. Screw that self destructive nonsense.

I also don't want to starve anymore or eat "healthy" things I HATE. Screw that self destructive nonsense, too.

I don't want to eat stuff I don't like..."because it's good for me." I want to eat stuff that I DO like that's good for me. Sometimes those things are hard to find! But they're out there. They're worth finding and taking the extra effort to make.

I'm tired of lying to myself. 20 years of dieting lies...up, down, up down. What's the point? I don't want to be either of those two people, I just kept running from both of them.

I had to find balance. I had to love my life, love my diet, love my self enough to stop the self abuse of both extremes. I HATE the fat binger. I HATE the thin fitness nazi.

Finding the plan that works for the individual is tough. And it's gonna be different for everyone. It's not one size fits all. (nothing one size fits all works for me...lol)

If I were doing low carb and crazy low calories, I'd probably shoot myself or others. I feel horrible on that plan...and I know from experience that I'll crash and burn on it eventually. It works great for some folks....but I'm not one of them.

These days I'm working on being really really honest with myself. I'm picking things for my diet on a new criteria...Do I genuinely like eating this? Is it good nutrition? Can it fit in a balanced day of healthy eating?

When I exercise, I don't think about how many calories it burns anymore, or how long I have to do it, or what gets me the most burn in the least time. I think....Do I enjoy doing this? Do I look forward to it, or dread it? Can I do this with a friend for support and have a good time?

I want to love my new life.

I want a Forever diet that I love.

I want a Forever exercise plan that I love.

I want balance.

I'm done with immediacy and urgency and extremes.

I'm losing weight slow and steady. If I lose 3-5 pounds a month, I am so happy with that. I didn't put all this weight on in a few months, I'm not gonna lose it in a few months.

They say you'll lose weight for 18 months or so after surgery. I've got 16 months to go. If I lose 2-3 pounds a month, I'll make my goal. I'm in no hurry, because I'm working on my forever diet that I can love and live with.......not my "until I'm skinny" punishment diet.

Sometimes I really think the key to this whole mess is finding a way to be honest with yourself...resolve the two extremes and find the middle ground.

Just some thoughts. Take what ya like, and leave the rest:)

I read this and thought... This is MY life. I was angry last week ago when I noticed that there was a notation of non-specified eating disorder in my record, but now I GET IT. I never did the full-on binge thing, but I definitely was an extremist when it came to dieting and then falling off the wagon HARDCORE. I haven't dieted for about 1 1/2 years, but I would rather address this now than have issues surface when I'm pursuing the surgery. I'm relieved. I've scheduled a counseling appointment with an eating disorders specialist at the bariatric clinic and put everything else on hold. Perhaps I won't be able to be sleeved at all, because of my history. You know what, that's okay. I choose health first. Wish me luck all!!!

This process is very stressful. All the appointments and such, twists and turns. I met with the nutritionist and the pulmonary doctor, and those things went well today. Then I pulled up my medical records and saw a diagnosis of "eating disorder" that had been put in there 5 years ago. I believe this stems from a conversation that I had with a doctor in which I expressed concerns about my affinity for fast food and high calorie foods. I was actually thinking I might have a diagnosable eating disorder. She suggested I ask my psychiatrist about it and slapped that diagnosis onto the referral. I did, and it was determined that I don't have any kind of eating disorder (stress eating issues, yes, but I have never been a binge eater, anorexic, or bulimic). Quite franky, I'm pissed, because this doctor was completely unqualified to even make that assessment, which is why she referred me out. I emailed my surgeon and gave him the heads up that I noticed this had been imported when they did the electronic records transfer and provided the additional details. I do not want it to look as though I am hiding anything as I have put everything out there about my food habits with the nutritionist. I took the MMPI today and have an appointment to see the psychologist next month for my psych eval. I have been working my butt off to make changes and I don't want this to derail me from having the surgery. Thoughts?

I'm going to have to per my surgeon. Three Protein Drinks per day with other clear liquids like broth and such.

Kind of a silly question, but what did your stretch marks look like before surgery. I've got a wide array of white and faded to purple to angry red. It's kind of like a vicious cycle... Lose weight, then gain it back and more when I stop the diet and get MORE stretch marks. Can't wait to get off this train...

Hi all,

I've been on a cpap for 2 years already, and i was diagnosed when I was 50 lbs lighter (NO carb diet). I was referred to a sleep specialist as part of the eval process for the bariatric surgery. I've had all my records sent over. Will they make me do another sleep test? My pap treatment is fine and they have the results from my PSG. No biggie if they do, but gosh... all these appointments add up to a lot of time off of work!

I have my first appointment in March with my nutritionist. I'm nervous, because I've gained about 4 pounds since my initial consult with the surgeon in early February. I fluctuate between 240 and 250, depending on what is going on in my life. I haven't started any nutritional plan yet, and I have three appointments scheduled in total with the nutritionist (March, April, May). I am moving this week into a new apartment, which is why I intentionally waited to start the entire process until after the move to make sure that I didn't have that going on in my life. I haven't been cooking much as most everything is packed up, which means a lot of take out. I've been tracking everything I eat for my first appointment, and I have been using my fitbit and tracking that info too. 100% honesty about my current lifestyle to give them a clear picture of how things are at my baseline in order to start making the changes to be successful. I'm just very nervous about the gain.... I don't want to lose this opportunity. I'm also a lowish (38-39) BMI patient, so on the flipside if I lose too much and I no longer qualify. Thoughts?

I'm on a trajectory for a mid-May sleeve (could be June as well) if all goes according to plan. Minnesota here. Doing lots of research (reading books, forums, etc.) as I want this to be a lasting lifestyle change for health.

This is really common actually. My insurance doesn't require it, but the surgeon I am going to requires three months of dietitian visits. That want to ensure you are committed to lifestyle changes and starting early.

Hello,

I have been journaling my food in anticipation of my upcoming first visit with the dietitian. I'm a little mortified by how poor my diet is. It's one thing to know you don't eat healthy, but it's another thing to see it documented for a full week.

I have to have between 2-3 appointments with the dietitian in order to be able to schedule my surgery. What can I expect a these appointments? I'm open to all suggestions and really want to make solid lifestyle changes. I'd be most interested in hearing about your experiences.

First appointment with the nutritionist and met my surgeon today. He's AWESOME. Aiming for a May or June surgery date!

I can't remember exactly what company did it. My doc ordered it for me. The test is to determine what drugs you metabolize best through the CYP system. Your doctor will know what this means, as it's like pharmacology 101. You need to find out if your insurance covers it. My didn't, but the company had a financial assistance plan. I'm gainfully employed, make about $60,000 a year, and I only had to pay $20.00 for the test after applying for the program. The test is just a TOOL tho (much like our sleeves and bypass!!!) It was interesting, because I had a VERY bad reaction to only 20 MGs of prozac a few years back. When the test results came back, Prozac was in RED under DO NOT USE. The meds I take now fall right in the middle (use with caution and monitor dose). It's not a perfect system. All it did was give us something to start with for guidance. The best indicator is what medication actually works for you (obviously :-) )

Something else to consider... My doc had me take a test to see which drugs I metabolize best. Turns out I'm a poor metabolizer of CYP2D6 medications. Doesn't mean I don't take 'em, just means that we adjust the dose to go with my genetics. Lots of tools out there to help these days. I get so mad when I hear medical doctors not using resources available. Insurance companies as the worst of all though... They make it damn near impossible for docs to give their patients the most innovative and evidence-based medicine available,

You might consider Lexapro. It's generic now and the "cousin" of Celexa without the known heart issues. My mom was on 60 mg of Celexa and they pulled her off too once they found out about the heart stuff. She had good success with Effexor... Lexapro too.

I wonder why they are only sticking to Zoloft when there are dozens of other options to choose from. I've been on the med merry-go-round before, and it sucks, but look at these options:

Effexor: LIFE-SAVING for me. I take 150 mg. I will take the regular release when I get sleeved to ensure no issues.

Celexa

Lexapro

Nefazodone (everyone freaks out of the liver failure possibility for this, but READ THE STATISTICS first. It's rare, rare, rare!!!)

Trazodone (great for anxiety, but knocks you out)

Cymbalta

Pamelor (older, but a works)

Moody stabilizers (Topamax, Tegretol, Trileptal, Lyrica, lamictal, Geodon)

Buspar

NAC - Amino acid available OTC that is being tested in clinical trials for anxiety disorders and addiction. Comes in liquid.

Memantine (used off-label for OCD, GAD, and migraines) It's a dementia drug that has found some limited mainstream success in off-label uses (doctors still get weird about this one, even though it's pretty benign, old, and safe).

Time to take a step back and put your mental health first. The rest will fall into place after the fact. Get stabilized, even if it means going inpatient. Fire the psychiatrist who "can't help you." That's absurd. Getting stable can take a few months, but you'll get there. I believe that you can reap the benefits of your gastric bypass and still take meds.

54 minutes ago, PeachesCat said:

Were you in the room? Did you hear what he said? Just curious. Tell me. What did he say? You must know. After all. You have stated he was concerned regarding a safety issue. Tell me. Do you consider calling a patient a fat pig a safety issue?

If your doctor called you a "fat pig" RUN- don't walk - to a new doctor. I would never want a doctor to cut me open who treats their patients like that. That's not firm; that's abusive.

I like the firm approach form my doctors. Not mean, but straight to the point without sugar coating anything. However, I would be mortified if my doctor called me a "fat pig."

Minneapolis here. Starting process and am hoping for a late spring/early summer surgery date.

That's excellent incentive! I think I might look into it. When I called HCMC they were actually most polite, friendly, and funny people I've spoken with on the phone. It felt warm and inviting, which I also wasn't expecting. How long was your entire process from seminar/consult to surgery if you don't mind my prying?

PS- You're doing great :-) Nobody said the journey would be easy, and you've come along way from where you first started.

I see you went with Dr. Krook. I really like what I've read about him so far, but I'm a bit leery of having any surgeries at HCMC. I have a few consults lined up (Alinna, North Memorial, and Healtheast) to see who "clicks". Would be interested in hearing your HCMC story and how the whole process went.

I totally know the feeling. I'm pre-op right now, but I live with a roomie who eats nothing but junk. I've ALWAYS done better when living on my own. I have secured an apartment for myself March 1st. I also live in Minnesota, and it is starting to wear on me a bit. I will likely leave this state one of these days, because the winters are so prohibitive and confining. It never used to bother me before, but as I've gotten old I really don't want to deal with it anymore.

I went to the seminar and have my first appointment scheduled to develop a plan of care and such. My insurance does not require any weight loss prior to surgery. I'm already hovering at about a 38 BMI and will qualify due to multiple comorbidities. The surgeon I'm seeing has a "weight loss challenge" of 10 % excess weight. I'm certainly not averse to that as I think it would be great to start modifying my habits prior to surgery to make it a lifestyle change. However, I lose too much and I don't qualify anymore. It's not that I don't know how to lose weight... I've been on a weight loss roller coaster with the same 80-100 lbs for almost 2 decades. This seems to be specific to the surgeon, and I was just wondering if it would make sense for me to go elsewhere or if anyone else with a lower BMI has had to deal with this?

Thanks

Hi all,

I went to my seminar, and sounds like I'm a good candidate for surgery. I'm meeting for the actual consult in a few weeks to discuss a specific plan. On the literature that was given at the seminar, it states that every pre-op patient goes through a "weight loss challenge." Anyone care to share what % of weight they had to lose? I'm hoping it's actually realistic given that I wouldn't be pursuing this surgery if weight loss was easy for me.

Coming from the least supportive and understanding "life coach" I've thankfully never met. Be sure to read her piece: "Don't Be the chicken and Cheetos Lady" https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-happiness-rx/201704/dont-be-the-chicken-and-cheetos-lady

Her words... I need not say more.

11 minutes ago, KCRN said:

I just wish I knew which ones so I could approach my psych about them.

I think your mileage will vary here. It's trial and error. Paxil is known for it, yet I know someone who has been on it for years and never gained anything. Effexor is supposed to be "weight neutral" yet my sister gained 25+ while taking it. Being on psych meds may mean I lose less or more slowly, but weight loss is no good if I'm so anxious and depressed that I can't enjoy the journey and my achievements :-)

Probably most of the SSRIs and antidepressants/mood stabilizers. That being said, I NEED to be on something, so I will have to deal with that aspect.

Probably been asked an answered, but who did you tell? I have elected NOT to tell my immediate family members. All are obese or morbidly obese, yet NONE have moved forward with surgery. My aunt is the ideal candidate, yet her children blasted her for even thinking about it. She has now had two knee replacement surgeries and will likely be dead before she reaches 70 from obesity-related ailments. My sister just got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and put on metformin, has sleep apnea, arthritis, GERD, and a host of other obesity-related issues. Yet, when I asked her if she had ever explored WLS, she was appalled by the idea and stated she didn't want "loose skin" and that people gain the weight back anyway and lose teeth from malnourishment. Clearly, my family is ill-informed and I feel as though making them part of my decision would actually cause more mental stress. I plan to bring a friend with me surgery day and will be keeping my business to myself. I'll just tell the family I had hiatal hernia repair (which will likely happen anyway). Perhaps after they see my results, I will share my choice with them. However, I'm concerned about how the psych eval will go given this aspect.

Doc: "Tell me about your support system..."

Me: "Ummm, friends?"

Thoughts?