Crystal*

My name is Crystal, I am 33 years old. I have had weight issues as long as I can remember. I lost a lot of weight (80 lbs) back when I was about 15 years old. I couldn't keep it off and gained it all back plus about 70 lbs over the years. My heaviest was 284 a few years ago while pregnant, and 274 recently, not pregnant. So here I am , having tried EVERYTHING!!! I lost maybe 25lbs a few years ago with my fitness pal, but very quickly gained it back, plus 5-10 lbs. I asked my nurse practitioner about bariatric surgery many years ago, and she said she would not recommend it due to the complications associated with it. Now she is finally seeing that no matter what I try, I just can't lose the weight. So she is going to refer me to a surgeon after the new year. My insurance requires a 6 month weight loss plan, with a 10% loss, to qualify for surgery. So I had my first weigh in last week, and will go back to my nurse practitioner monthly for weigh-ins. I am scared to death, I have 4 children, 3 ages 4 and under. My uncle's ex wife had roux en y and almost died from complications about 15 years ago. My parents have never forgotten this and are against any kind of weight loss surgery. During recovery I am sure I will need their help with my kids at some point, but I can just imagine them saying "I told you so" and lecturing me, if my recovery doesn't go so well. My husband doesn't think having a doctor reroute my intestines is a good idea but is supportive in whatever decision I make. I am determined to do this, but have doubts and reservations. I am here to find support and maybe put some fears to rest! Seems like every time I Google questions about weight loss surgery I end up on this website. So I figured i should probably just join, hahahaha! I started eating healthier maybe a month ago, gave up coffee creamer, and got down to 262. But, as usual, I am putting the pounds back on. Up to 265 right now. This constant battle is depressing.

Hoping to have DS in Mexicali with Dr. Ungson at the end of June!

@TheJuice202 That makes me so sad that your family would do/say those things to you. I am so greatful that we all have each other here to lean on. I don't feel so alone, thank you for your support.

I have been trying for years to qualify for weight loss surgery with insurance. I have to lose 10% of my body weight and keep it off. Unless I have some kind of condition that prevents me from losing weight, which I do not, there are no exceptions. I have not even come close to 10% and I am tired of waisting my life being depressed about it. So I took matters into my own hands and am planning on having the duodenal switch with Dr Ungson in Mexicali, self pay. My family doesn't even know I am going to Mexico, they would probably disown me if they knew. I just told them I am going out of state. My mom is the only person I have to watch my children while I am gone, and she is the person that is against this decision the most. She told me I am "using risky physical means to fix a spiritual problem". What is that supposed to mean anyway? I have faith in God, I pray about this everyday. I don't want to risk my life, risk leaving 4 children and a husband by having this done. But I am desperate and this is my last resort. I can't educate my family because they won't listen. Their minds are made up that I am making the biggest mistake of my life. Has anyone else gone through this? How did you deal? I just want to cry.

I have been trying for years to qualify for weight loss surgery with insurance. I have to lose 10% of my body weight and keep it off. Unless I have some kind of condition that prevents me from losing weight, which I do not, there are no exceptions. I have not even come close to 10% and I am tired of waisting my life being depressed about it. So I took matters into my own hands and am planning on having the duodenal switch with Dr Ungson in Mexicali, self pay. My family doesn't even know I am going to Mexico, they would probably disown me if they knew. I just told them I am going out of state. My mom is the only person I have to watch my children while I am gone, and she is the person that is against this decision the most. She told me I am "using risky physical means to fix a spiritual problem". What is that supposed to mean anyway? I have faith in God, I pray about this everyday. I don't want to risk my life, risk leaving 4 children and a husband by having this done. But I am desperate and this is my last resort. I can't educate my family because they won't listen. Their minds are made up that I am making the biggest mistake of my life. Has anyone else gone through this? How did you deal? I just want to cry.

@TheJuice202 That makes me so sad that your family would do/say those things to you. I am so greatful that we all have each other here to lean on. I don't feel so alone, thank you for your support.

@TheJuice202 That makes me so sad that your family would do/say those things to you. I am so greatful that we all have each other here to lean on. I don't feel so alone, thank you for your support.

Hey even if you do want to be skinny that's your prerogative, but honestly I'm sure most people will tell you it's more about our health and future, it's your body!

My husband still doesn't support my decision, and my surgery is in 8 days! I just keep telling myself I'm not doing this for him, I'm doing this for me. Hopefully at some point he'll be able to stand beside me and be proud of who I've become and how far along I made it. If not, that's his problem - not mine. I agree it would be much easier if he supported me though. Good luck to you!

Sent from my LM-G710VM using BariatricPal mobile app

You know when I told my guy about this back in February he scoffed at me. Then I went to my first meeting, still he scoffed. I kept it all to myself, I didn't talk to him about it. My mom has been super supportive from the beginning asking questions and making me think through my decision. Basically playing the devils advocate which I appreciate, this is a big decision. Started having doctors appointments, my guy still didn't want to discuss it but wasn't being as negative. Few more appointments and he started asking some questions. Had a huge... and I mean epic argument where I learned part of his problem was that I made the decision without him, that we didn't discuss it. I had to give in, he was right. Without him saying it I know he's worried and nervous, he doesn't like hospitals and he's worried something will happen, not death exactly but something that will hurt me and that upsets him.
...And then all of a sudden. We had family come in from AZ and when he picked them up from the airport somehow, I'm still not sure why... HE told them about my surgery. He has also told a friend of ours and talked to another friend whose wife had it and discussed plastic surgery after with him. What The??? OK and then like a switch he's asking questions, trying to help me prepare, making jokes about recording me just out of recovery and posting it on Facebook. I don't know what turned him but I am super stoked about it. I thought I was going to have to go at it alone. He's still kind of sabotaging me a little, telling me to eat even though I'm on my 10 day pre-op diet but that's just because that's how he is and that's part of why I'm super overweight because he always thinks I don't eat enough.
Long story short... (too late) I hope this happens for you. That once your family sees that it's for your betterment and health and that you're serious that they will come around 🤞😊

I have only told my Daughter and Mom. My Mom is worried to death. She is like why you want to be skinny. That's not what I am looking for. I want to be healthy and to feel comfortable in my skin. My husband would have a cow. Not sure how I am going to do this when surgery time comes. It's hard to tell many people because they want to say do this diet or that. I have done them all that's for sure. They say you've always been example in losing weight before, I wish they would think of the times I've gain it back within months. I know even we sleeve you can gain it back I am hoping by the time I can eat more that I will have enough knowledge and the big one, the mental stability. I am afraid to have surgery but is just something I must do for me. It would just be nice if others understood and could give me support.

Sent from my LM-Q710(FGN) using BariatricPal mobile app

My mother was not supportive. She was vehemently against it, actually. She said I could lose it with diet and exercise "if I really tried" and I was mutilating my body. She said that when I am older the Vitamins may not be enough and I could have nutritional deficiencies, etc. And, of course, all the possible complications. She reminded me in the weeks pre-op how stupid I was for doing this to myself. And even now, 7 months later, the most she can say is "I'm happy you're happy but I don't support this." Screw it. You're not doing it for her. Who cares what she has to think. As long as she will watch your kids, that's all you need to worry about.

A little remember, it says Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone" is she so certain she has achieved that level of perfection? I grew up in one group of Evangelical Christians, my late husband from another, I have attended so many revivals, camp meetings , bible studies and Sunday morning services, if there were Merit Badges for Christianity, mine who have a figure with their arms reaching up toward Heaven and maybe in Gold Embroidery" Hallelujah". Now I am not as radical as I once was, I try to ❤ everybody and gave over other control to God, let him do what He Thinks Best!

Your mother may profess to be Christian, but she is using it for harm rather than good. There are toxic relationships even in the face of Christianity. Also beware, even after you have success toxic people will up the ante and try to sabotage you. All relationships will change because you must change. These aren't little changes either, be strong.
https://www.sleeveacademy.com/SleeveVsBypass
https://youtu.be/Os_vwpdMzh0

I can't wrap my head around the fact that people in this day and age are still so clueless about surgery! We are so lucky to have the technology for these kind of surgeries! If you rewind even 100 years people were dying because of no penicillin or antibiotics, we should be so lucky to be alive in this generation and enjoy the advancement in medicine that are being made everyday!
If you've decided on surgery you've most likely tried everything else and if you qualify why wouldn't you get surgery if it's guaranteed to help and to make changes needed..
People can go and get fake bolt on breasts all the time without anyone caring but WLS still seems to be a taboo subject which is ludicrous.. it's safe and been done for many years , I don't get the mentality of narrow minded people!!
Please don't feel bad at all your mum seems very old fashioned, your weight and your health and your sanity have nothing to do with religion!

And together we have the strenght to endure, surmount and beat anything that opposes us to a pulp! A load shared is never as heavy as trying to do it all by yourself!

I have been trying for years to qualify for weight loss surgery with insurance. I have to lose 10% of my body weight and keep it off. Unless I have some kind of condition that prevents me from losing weight, which I do not, there are no exceptions. I have not even come close to 10% and I am tired of waisting my life being depressed about it. So I took matters into my own hands and am planning on having the duodenal switch with Dr Ungson in Mexicali, self pay. My family doesn't even know I am going to Mexico, they would probably disown me if they knew. I just told them I am going out of state. My mom is the only person I have to watch my children while I am gone, and she is the person that is against this decision the most. She told me I am "using risky physical means to fix a spiritual problem". What is that supposed to mean anyway? I have faith in God, I pray about this everyday. I don't want to risk my life, risk leaving 4 children and a husband by having this done. But I am desperate and this is my last resort. I can't educate my family because they won't listen. Their minds are made up that I am making the biggest mistake of my life. Has anyone else gone through this? How did you deal? I just want to cry.

@TheJuice202 That makes me so sad that your family would do/say those things to you. I am so greatful that we all have each other here to lean on. I don't feel so alone, thank you for your support.

I don't have much of it either....that's why i've begun immersing myself into a lot of weightloss group.
Literally right now a relative is frying chicken and I smell the fumes of it from another room -_-.
They keep asking me "why not just go to the gym without surgery" .... none of them exercise.
Or they make jokes about what they're about to eat and what I can't eat etc.
So...while no one is going to disown me for doing the surgery this is what's going on with me **sighs**.
DO the surgery...don't let anyone hold you back.

Been there, I also got at 72" Have You lost your freakin' Mind?" No but this is the way I have a chance to 75,80 and beyond At 365× it certainly was not assured. And it was not just a knee-jerk decision on my part. At my age,hey if Johnnie Cochran could play the "race" card, I AM not above playing an "Age" one, anyway you get refusals up to" Get out of my office and stop wasting MY Time", yep actually had a surgeon tell me that, drug my insulted body out of there and never returned. See,I figure- He don't want me, I don' t want him! But I did find a better surgeon, nicer-acting, more skillful, 8 months ago I had my RNY at 72 years, 8 months, 8 days, and although my path hasn't been the smoothest, it is what it is, at 224 pounds I can see Onederland ahead, I will stay the course to there and beyond, I am a natural red- head, stubborn and not ready to concede failure!😈😛🍀

I have been trying for years to qualify for weight loss surgery with insurance. I have to lose 10% of my body weight and keep it off. Unless I have some kind of condition that prevents me from losing weight, which I do not, there are no exceptions. I have not even come close to 10% and I am tired of waisting my life being depressed about it. So I took matters into my own hands and am planning on having the duodenal switch with Dr Ungson in Mexicali, self pay. My family doesn't even know I am going to Mexico, they would probably disown me if they knew. I just told them I am going out of state. My mom is the only person I have to watch my children while I am gone, and she is the person that is against this decision the most. She told me I am "using risky physical means to fix a spiritual problem". What is that supposed to mean anyway? I have faith in God, I pray about this everyday. I don't want to risk my life, risk leaving 4 children and a husband by having this done. But I am desperate and this is my last resort. I can't educate my family because they won't listen. Their minds are made up that I am making the biggest mistake of my life. Has anyone else gone through this? How did you deal? I just want to cry.

Let me start with some simple statements.

No, I don’t know the length of my comment channel, I used to, but that doesn’t define my surgery and therefore takes up ZERO brain capacity.

Yes, if given the choice to have the surgery or not have the surgery, I would do it again.

Yes, working out at a lower weight is easier, but it still sucks, and I still hate working out. 🏋️‍♀️

One day you’ll forget about your surgery until after you’ve eaten too much movie theatre popcorn. 🍿You will pay for this mistake for at least 24 hours and swear to never do it again, until the next time you go to the movies and do it again.

Men only: NO, this surgery does not make your penis bigger. It makes the perception of the size of your penis bigger because you can see more of it when your belly disappears. Don’t be fooled into thinking you are suddenly a porn star, you are still the same guy.

Yes, I love Kale… As a garnish. Kale was never meant to be eaten as a food, whoever decided this leafy weed should be consumed by people should be banished from civilization.

16-years post-op and not a day goes by where my surgery doesn’t impact my life in some way, shape, or form.

If I eat too much of the wrong foods one day, I pay for it the next. I always carry a can of Ozium with me. It’s better than killing the human in the stall next to me.

I have learned that no matter how many Vitamins, supplements, and shakes I consume, since my surgery I am prone to anemia. Around 10 years ago I started receiving Iron infusions. I initially had to go in for a fill up once every six months, now, I go in around once every 13 to 14 months. Why has this changed, you ask? Great question! Because as you get further and further away from your surgery, your body’s ability to absorb nutrients increases and therefore you have the ability to absorb more calories increases as well, that is why people can easily start gaining weight several years down the road. Though I am not a doctor, I do believe this is accurate information.

Only once since my surgery have I **** in my pants, I don’t remember it happening, I just know that I woke up and had this issue to deal with. It has not happened since that time, I think mostly because I try to eat what I’m supposed to eat and I avoid foods that lubricate my intestines to the point of them becoming a slip and slide.

No, I do not tell every person I meet that I’ve had surgery. In the beginning, it’s a little difficult because you can’t eat normal amounts of food and it’s apparent that you want to. Immediately after surgery, I avoided going out for dinner with friends, instead, I would meet them for a drink. Today I can go out for business meetings, dinners with friends and no one knows or can tell that I’ve had surgery. I can order a normal size meal and always do. Typically, when I go to dinner, I eat my Protein first, then I have a few carbs and a few vegetables. I eat what is considered by most Americans to be a normal portion, not a restaurant-sized portion.

Now let’s talk about Protein Shakes. I am sick and f**king tired of all of the Internet chatter about which shake is the best tasting, has the most Protein, is convenient, comes in rainbow colors. It’s a f**king Protein Shake. Almost all of them have some shitty aftertaste component to them. I have tried dozens over the years and thanks to my son, a football player, I have found the one Protein Powder that truly destroys all others. It is called Pro7ein: http://www.vitasport.net/vitasport/products/protein/pro7ein-synthesis

I prefer to mix one scoop to 8 ounces of unsweetened vanilla almond milk. Many mornings I will do two scoops to 12 ounces of unsweetened almond milk. I end my day with another two scoop Protein Shake before bed.

I will tell you that if you add this one thing to your daily regimen, you will not be pooping yellow sticky liquid. I’ve read a lot of comments in these forums about yellow smelly poops. The reason you have yellow smelly poop because you’re not eating the right stuff, if you start focusing on your protein first, your ass issues will clear up.

Final note for you post-op, surgical newbies. You’ve had weight-loss surgery, you don’t have cancer. Stop treating this like you have something terrible f**king disease when you are around your friends. They are really tired of hearing about it. Trust me. Eat what you need to, do your thing, don’t make a big deal about it.

In all, I’d say I am very happy 16 years post-op. Is having a duodenal switch right for everyone? No. Like any surgery of this type, it has life-changing implications. Some are good, summer bad, but ultimately it is to help those of us who struggle with losing weight.

***I originally placed this in Post-Op Q&A and relaized it belongs here.

I’m so sorry your struggling with this. I think the fear is what’s causing her to say unkind things to you and I bet once she sees you drop the weight, gain confidence and become happier she will come around. I wish for your sake she could come around sooner but if she doesn’t now I believe she will later. Best of luck to you!
Stephie

My mother doesnt support me. Just this weekend she sent me a long message about how i should do it and how i wont be able to have kids and how im going to have some many complications. For my mother to be a educator for over 45 years she still wont allow me to educate her on the surgery.
I told her i do not want her to come to the hospital i told her to just pray from me from home. She has been hurting my feeling this past month! She is the ONLY person i regret telling

Why would you not be fertile anymore? We have more than a few who had VSG or RNY or DS first and are now blissfully expecting. YOUR babies tend to be slightly smaller, 6 pounds as opposed to 9 pounds, but every poster says they come out healthy and screaming their little heads off.
She is obviously thinking with her gut instead of her brain. Mama is supposed to want what is best for her little girl, I'm sure this was not a flippant decision on your part, even if she doesn't totally understand, she should be grateful she raised a strong daughter and support your desire to be smaller and healthier. I have been a Mama for 50+ years, an recovering RYN bypassed for 8 months, so I have experienced both sides of the coin , therefore I am a advisor to anyone who will listen. And if she can't be proud of you decisions, I am and I wish,you only the best of everything!