KarenLR75

Was hoping it was confusion CUZ I LOVE your name! Very upbeat ....plus my bday is in Nov...your surgery is in Nov..November ppl rock!

Oh my gosh in 2 days I can LEGIT post to this thread (um....you don't see me right now....just pre-announcing my upcoming membership...LOL). Will be 6 months on 1/25/20!! Think I'll be moving over from another thread...I wish more of the folks on there were further out so I could invite them along..but I think many are 3 months and less. Will go back and see..

NON SCALE VICTORY (NSV) - these PJ bottoms may be the death of me since as my "width" has gone down...the um...er..crotch of the pants is somewhere near my mid thigh area - thus the pooling of the bottom of the pants on my floor...but I still LUVS them! I don't have any puppies right now (just 3 kitties)...but who wouldn't think these little scottie doggies are the cutest?! LOL @FluffyChix - seems we both like red PJ bottoms

I think you may be reading her reply out of context...she was NOT calling someone a snowflake...a few..like 1 or 2 ppl were inferring that some on THIS thread were not looking at reality and maybe were wanting excuses or we wanted to be 'pandered to (my interpretation and mine alone)...she was saying we were not ASKING to be treated like we needed some sort of special care... Don't know why so many ppl want to take this thread and continue to issue vague insults such as putting support thread in quotes - my apologies directly if that was not your intent though! I also apologize for this frustrated reply when you may just be simply confused about what her post was in response to.... Anyone who does not agree or believe in this thread & the TRUE support& encouragement, tips, advice, etc.. that we are seeking as a group...as ppl who feel correctly or incorrectly that they may be facing some additional challenges...then please take the high road and go elsewhere but let's not let the good stuff that can be helpful to all be overwhelmed by a few ppl's negativity. Those of us who are looking for the support are open to discussion on what challenges may or may not be in our control We are looking for those who may have had similar challenges and how did they deal with it. We are open to even discussing what roles mental and emotional roadblocks/challenges may play. We never asked for ppl to 'baby' us. The ONLY strong protest that I'm aware of is when this post denigrated down into insults and name calling. The 'snowflake' was a 'callback' to what ppl on this thread were already called by someone else. She was REFERENCING that..not STARTING it. I may have very lightly alluded to it a few posts earlier, but the REASON I'd like to see this thread ABANDONED SOME DAY is BECAUSE PPL GET THE HELP THEY NEED HERE or in other places with a great deal of wise veteran support like FluffyChix's "Doing the Headwork" threads and the help that she offered earlier today or with their family/local support/surgeon/nutritionist/doctors, etc. With HELP and TOOLS and PEOPLE'S INPUT via all of these wonderful ways, I'd LOVE to see this thread abandoned because the ppl who were looking for support - GOT THE SUPPORT and we all were continuing on our successful journeys! I wish that for EVERYONE who has ever posted here whether we have all been in agreement or not, whether we have been upset with each other, whether we have been hurt/wounded...whether someone has decided to block/ignore someone...I would NEVER ever wish anyone less success than i want for myself! BEST WISHES to EVERYONE on this FORUM!!!!!

I'm in! Thanks for the info Fluffychix & Sheribear68! I need all the help I can get to make the MOST of this journey as possible! In recent discussions with Fluffy and others, we did the math and my average amount of weight lost per month SINCE surgery is actual a bit over 12 pounds per month and that would actually have been higher if my exercise hadn't taken a nosedive in the past..well, I was thinking it was a week, but it's been more like 10 days. My INITIAL Months 1-3 weight loss was...when I compared to my siblings was not as large as theirs was so yeah...it bothered me. I tried to be careful (and yeah, we probably shouldn't compare but I did) and only compare with others IF they were in a similar situation to me. i.e. for me that was: female, 50+, menopausal, sedentary, known slow metabolism DUE to hormones, lack of exercise, medications, illness/conditions, 20+ years of yo-yo dieting and/or anything else that contributed to the slowness - some things WITHIN my control, some things NOT. On some days when I was doing better mentally, I figured well, I may be starting out slower but my rate per month may be more sustainable than theirs after the first few mos. I need to get back on my surgery sibling thread but I ALREADY know now that in looking at my weight loss data over a MORE SUFFICIENT amount of time to evaluate a truer picture of 'weight loss per mo), I'm at least an AVERAGE loser and if I deal with some recent bad habits that crept back in suddenly, I feel that with not a ton of effort I can hit a 'AVERAGE-HIGH' amt of weight loss per mo. I wanted to post as some of you know I'm very data driven. The first 2 - 3 mos of surgery, including that critical 1st mo where some of us wonder based on SO VERY VERY little calories, why weight loss wasn't higher..it's kinda of like when we were kids...I always used to say when asked..."I'm 5 and 1/2 years old"...because I was PROUD of that '1/2'...and the age I'm at now, man, I round DOWN!!! When we are little though...at young ages, our time on this earth is so SMALL at that point, that our experiences for the first let's just say..5 yrs...is obviously the BULK of our entire little life at that point. Flash forward to today and being..cough..like around 50...and ages 0-5 is nothing but a BLINK. Statistically barely factors. I realize now that while yes...my first 2 mos especially I found to be a bit disappointing at the time, in hindsight, just 4 more months out, the math is showing that DESPITE my true challenges and even for me, some emotional/mental ones, I am at least an AVERAGE loser. I'm posting this hoping to give those who are only a couple of months out and may be fighting with disappointment...some hope and another way to consider things..and to stay on track and let the time pass...then look back at what has happened. My wish for all of us is we become part of..someday...a "We WERE slow losers but look at us now" type of thread..lol. I realize that there are ppl with much more severe issues than what I'm dealing with so in no way do I mean to do your situation any disservice. Oh...and along with realizing I'm at least 'average'...I had a small NSV on my way to taking my laptop back into my office...my PJ bottoms (yeah, I work from home) fell down and I almost fell over my own feet..LOL. I LOVE these PJ botttoms so much I'm seriously considering taking them to a tailor!!

I am so incredibly sorry. I cannot even imagine. Just reading your words.....a tragedy and heartbreak beyond anything most can think of...

sigh.."we are"...not "were are"

I've been on the thread and I had RNY so I'm thinking were are not 'sleeve-centric' as much as we are 'things that CAN possibly contribute to rate of weight loss and how best to address and do what we can to remove these roadblocks if at all possible..

You would click on your user name at the top of the page - there should be a drop down arrow. When you click that arrow, you will see a list of settings options including 'Ignored User'. Highlight that which will bring up your 'ignored users screen' and add their user name. It will bring up options on what you can ignore. You click the ones you want and then click 'ADD'. That user name is now on your ignored list - they will not be notified.

Amen. I actually blocked someone not because they were directly upsetting me, but because they went over the top and were rude, condescending, and plain mean to more than just 1 person on a thread that was a 'support group' for a specific situation. They have chased off some of the original posters and caused others to fear posting and no, I'm not talking about 'I'm afraid if I post my meals, they will point out that my carbs seem a bit high' or they will 'bust me cuz I had cookies at Xmas and some wine and they are going to say that is why I haven't lost for X weeks'. Everyone has a right to their opinion but when that opinion starts to become unproductive, and you move from an intent to help even with tough love to being rude and mean because by God you want your opinion HEARD then for me...that is giving opinions with malicious intent (maybe the poster doesn't even recognize it, but just like the majority of us having a history of bad coping techniques, maybe we should consider it is not just the ppl asking for help who may need some tough love..maybe the posters who want to ignore requests to please leave off with the destructive comments...should consider that this may be part of their bad coping habits showing up still(. I think EVERYONE benefits from self examination. I ask myself in my work life, my personal life and here..is what I'm saying true...and is the reason I'm saying it to be helpful/i.e. what is the true intent of my heart...when I go from both of those being 'YES' to the 2nd one being 'NO', for me. I bite my tongue. Also, I have never been asked to please stop commenting on a thread but if that ever happened, I would leave them in peace and not keep decrying my right to post... Thus...I have blocked 2 ppl in the 3 years I've been on this forum. Even though I had surgery just this past July, I've been around for a while...just offering my own personal perspective and how much I agree with the decision to block/flag for ignore - don't let anyone chase you away from your journey. Don't give up on a thread or leave if staying is TRULY beneficial to you and be prepared for some tough love but not for insults and rudeness. Reminds me of a saying from marriage counselors (i have many friends that are in this occupation) that I've heard over the years: Do you want to be right or do you want to be married? Yeah, a bit off the precise topic...but sometimes at work we also talk about 'do you want to win the battle' or win the war?

Also, for the few that seem to want to keep stirring the pot (FYI - one of the ones you may think is..I don't believe that is their true intent) and even one who stated 'there was basically no evil magic preventing us from losing' weight..not precise wording but close...if they want to continue to post despite begging to the contrary, you can go to your profile drop down and you will see a list of actions and one includes 'Ignore Users'. I've added 1 to mine in the 3 years I've lurked on these forums and have added one more from recent issues. Just an option I wanted everyone to know they have. I do NOT want ppl afraid of being able to post...

@Sheribear68 - you are so amazing! What you posted is exactly what I feel this thread was meant to be for..for support, to give the wisdom of the fact that lbs lost per week in the first 6 months, 2 months, 1st month, etc. is not the 'factor' that determines your journey's success. Long term studies I've seen show that people who do what you said - and stay on and work their plan..and yes, the more lost..the more we will have to work...that if you stick with it you WILL hit your goal DESPITE whether you dumped a ton of weight in the first few months or not. I think over 90% of the ppl on this thread are looking for general support - no one that I can recall has taken the more negative mindset and said 'hey, this surgery didn't work'...or 'I wish I had never done this'....most ppl are wanting just a bit more support emotionally and maybe if they wish, to have ppl talk about tips to address certain issues that may or may not make their own weight loss journey a bit more challenging. I hope this thread stays positive so people can get the encouragement they need and as others have said, we are here because we want to REMAIN fully committed to the journey and it is helpful when we are talking to people who are WORKING through the same thing or have been through the same thing. We PLAN and are DETERMINED to hit our goal weights - that is why this thread is valuable for me...just like Fluffy's headwork thread and several other threads.

Made me laugh! TY for that!

Also, always a good idea in my opinion to check in with your surgeon/nutritionist when concerned about weight loss. They know your history hopefully extremely well and any challenges you are facing (i.e. illnesses, diabetes, PCOS, menopause (peri, during or post), injuries etc. that prevent regular exercise)....they should not be just a team that does the surgery and goes away. My surgeon, nutritionist and I already kind of knew ahead of time that I was likely to be a slow loser and I had been an extremely slow loser in any method I chose after years upon years of yo yo dieting. So we knew I was going to likely fall somewhere in the middle range at best but we all hoped for more. They have termed me a low average to slow loser and that is fine as I know it just means I need to be more diligent on the things within my control that will take me from slow to 'no loser'. We made adjustments and tweaks along the way working our ways through stalls, through possible other issues. Like I mentioned before, I had been given, when 2 months out, my target calories and I had to push a bit to get my target macros as I favor a low carb/low fat diet. After 4 weeks, even being under 20-30 grams of carbs, things just seemed to flatten. Then they switched my macros around and increased my carbs which had me tripping out but the weight started coming off again. Sure we can come here and vent and hopefully what this leads to is productive behavior which means continuing to stick out the journey, to step away from the scale when the frustrations threaten your journey, to look at other NSV's, to check and see are their basics we are letting slip (i.e. I stopped logging food in my fitness pal for 3 days so I had no hard data when something changed)...are we choosing a 'good/valid' entry in our trackers...do we have firm understanding of some of the things we are concerned about. If ppl ask you to post your food, don't think it is that they don't believe you...there could be something you are missing or it validates what you are saying, you get others who have been down this road...their very valuable input...and then ppl can help tackle troubleshooting other things. What I hope we get the MOST from threads like this is when we are open, and...maybe a bit more careful with tone (not saying things should not be challenged or debated that are actually wrong...I just don't want to alienate someone who doesn't understand how we got to xyz reply and frustrated tone..to not post what they are doing because they are afraid. In the end we want to all help each other REMAIN on our journey whether losing 20 lbs, 10 lbs 5 lbs a month..or sometimes even 0...yes, that can happen...because we know in the end, patience and persistence will win out.

I agree...but I think as the tone increased..my concern is that his valid points would get lost. And his main reference/issue, as you mentioned, was one poster...I think. I think there are all sorts of ways to inquire/ask someone to give their supporting data if they are seeking help with it like...hey, post your menu for the past week or for the day, etc. - if the poster truly wants help with that, then hopefully they will post. If burn rates are being questioned, maybe ask how that is being reached..I was genuinely curious...but some ppl shut down completely, not always because they don't have the data to back things up or have calculated incorrectly. Maybe I'm deceiving myself....that could very well be true.

Weird..I just brought it up in Chrome (icognito mode though)

Thanks for this reminder. I forget that some of the drinks cause people more significant issues than others..

I personally recommend that everyone on this thread, if you haven't done so already, make sure to ready Fluffychix's 'Importance of doing the Head Work' as I feel the wealth of info, the videos, input, etc. will help answer many questions and will help ensure we all stay in the right mindset to keep accounting and on top of the things within our control. I've seen Fluffy's weight loss month average timeline and trust me, that chica fought for her weight loss every step of the way and hung in there and look at where she is! Don't get discouraged! The 2 year outcomes for people who truly work their plan, check in with vets, their surgeon, their nutrition, their specialists, EXERCISE, etc. are very similar to those who dropped weight fast! Stick around, do the work, don't give up!

It is true that they pack a lot of calories...I was getting in, during pureed and soft foods...maybe 1 or 1.5 or on days when pouch rebelled against what I tried, it would take hours but I'd get in 2..so overall less than 400 calories but good point to start getting protein from real food sources as soon as possible...I know my surgeon's office started pushing this around month 3 but I know everyone's input from their team may vary...lol...that is for sure...

I was still supplementing with shakes through month 5 (not every day), but definitely while still in first 2 months to hit my protein goals. You need the protein to heal from the surgery. From what I have read and encountered here, losing 10 lbs in your first two weeks is awesome. Several of us had swelling, water gain from the surgery/IV fluids, etc. and our overall first month weight loss ranged from 7 lbs to 15. 10 is great for an entire month! I take it your surgeon is aware of your AS, what limitations does it give you when it flares up? I know that some people will just walk throughout their house and I've seen them hitting amazing #'s doing this...to get things moving not only physically but to help with the gas pains from surgery and to get things literally moving everywhere. Are you able to do this?

Agreed. The message has been communicated and the facts that we can and should derive from it are tipping from helpful into hurtful. The message is being lost in the way it is being harped on. We get it... You may notice that about 90 to 95% of the posters in this thread are women and yes, it has been proven that men TYPICALLY lose faster than women. Please give us credit for some intelligence and the ability to read and take what we know to be true and/or our questions back to our professionals and find ways to work with/deal with and continue on our WL journey whether we are losing 10 lbs a month, 5 lbs or have stalled. Fluffly's definition of what her team determines to be a stall was helpful. I think much good can come from this thread. The majority, to me at least, seem to be interested in getting clarification, are acknowledging things they are facing they can't do anything about - menopause, etc. while also admitting things they need to do something about. I personally know that I will not consider the month of December in my weight loss average as I went on a cruise, admitted to gaining 1 lb and I know that will skew my results. We also have been around long enough to help newbies, as i was shocked that my first month loss was so low but my preop had been SO LONG (switched dr's - long story) and the way the surgery impacted me...my weight didn't really start moving until weeks 3 and 4. It was good to hear that this happens for others. In fact my surgery sibling group had me back away from the scale. NONE of us were, at that point..or almost none of us..eating more than 400 calories so we knew even w/o exercise that the scale would INDEED MOVE.

LOL..that works for me! Then we can order from the adult menu since we are splitting 3 ways and I don't get the narrowed eye stare when I ask about the kid's menu...seriously..I want to color, what is the harm in that?

PHEW...was starting to feel like even more of a slacker.......like dang...I'm on a thread with triathletes on it..where is the normal person thread? LOL... Seriously though..kudos to everyone who can burn through so much...I know from following some other threads, there are ppl doing some really hard core serious workouts - I mean like multiple hrs a day! That is one reason I get irritated that there is such a misconception/misperception that WLS is the 'easy way out'...those ppl have no clue...

Dear Lord! That should count for all least 500 calories PER CHILD!!! That is how I do my math...LOL... I can TOTALLY understand wanting to eat 'all the things' when they crash...may be the first time you've been able to actually eat sometimes and I'm recalling that from having only 2 kids....LOL..OMG, I was a sedentary Mom in comparison too..to be honest, I was in decent shaped in my 20's, was never morbidly/super morbidly obese until my late 30's and wow did it take a toll on this poor body. I have made myself one rule for late night eating that...sigh....I have not enforced the past 3 weeks and that is anything I eat late at night (ok, for me this is like 11 PM...I work globally so I can be up as early as 7 AM CST and work sometimes until 2 or 3 AM depending on what we are working on - this does NOT help my overall health - lots of shift work disorder issues. Oh, back to rules: 1) It needed to be less than 20% of my overall calories for the day. I then made it really simple and stuck to sugar free jello, sugar free popsicles..basically anything under 100 calories 2) It needed to NOT be in my bedroom, on the couch or in a recliner. If I was hungry enough to eat, I needed to eat it at my dining table even if the lights were completely off (husband has normal job) I had to make these rules because as I was watching my 600 lb life I realized I was slowly trapping myself into exactly what I was watching - ppl who had to struggle so hard to do anything, losing the ability to get out of bed, ONLY being able to eat on a bed...and reminded myself at 390...I was SO CLOSE to being on that show. Not that there is any shame in that but things were hard enough, embarrassing enough, and with the knee injury from working out ironically, I finally had a true physical limitation where I had never had one before..not even at 390 - I could walk across entire warehouses with no issue. ONLY 1/2 of my weight loss that is shown came from 'after WLS' - the first half took me 15 mos of TRULY dedicated keto and moving some..until I tore left meniscus on right knee running down stairs (BAD idea for working out, by the way)...then 4 mos later, I tore the right meniscus (same knee) walking down a hill. I knew when I struggled to walk, to do grocery shopping..that I had to make a major change and that for me was WLS. I had considered it for 3+ years and prepped for it - mentally and physically....obviously mental is an ongoing work in process.