IdontWant2beAfatty

Currently 50lbs from my goal weight and this by far has been the hardest journey of my life. I have been admitted into the hospital for severe Dehydration,  I have been well for a couple weeks an then BAM the last couple days back to feeling ruff... My gurd is controlled some times I dont need my heartburn meds other times I live on them. Im loosing slowly at this point but I consider that a blessing as I  have lost a lot very quickly in the beginning of my journey, I do want to feel better. I try foods that I would think would work well with my new stomach some times its a big fail 2 days ago it was avacado I hovered over the porcline god an prayed for releif as I sometimes dont understand, I often times crave carbs and Im trying to control my cravings but its so hard... My sugar tends to drop really low and that makes me very ill Im happy with my progress but often times think WTF did I do to myself, feeling down today as I just dont feel well at all

So this morning I hit my 70lb weight loss however at what cost?  It has been just 9 weeks and I feel that maybe that is a bit to fast and in a hurry.... The last 5-6 days have been very very hard i can not eat anything I currently can not even drink water with out getting sick to my stomach and or throwing up  Im not sure what Im doing wrong yesterday I managed to get all My viatmins in however I dont think i will be that luck today I figured maybe heartburn but I dont think so as that is something I have delt with from day one...My PCP just put me on a new Meds So I stopped it and pray it gets out of my system quickly and I can be back on a good food and water regiman at this point I feel horrible  and am regretting hole heart every thing I have done to my body becuase currently and most of the last week I have felt horrible 

56lbs down and seen my doc and he asked me to try to decrease my Omeprozal as he said I am on a very high dose some days Im fine to not take so many but the last 2 days I have ate very little due to my burning heart my stomach has been in knots an just have very much wanted to throw up;  Im ready to throw in the towel im feeling very frustrated at this point 

 TODAY I HIT 50lbs lost  I am super happy and excited to be at my 50lb loss at  6 weeks out  !!!!!

My stall is over   Im excited and I think I will start out on the treadmill tonight and go get some things to do strength training tonight Im excited to be loosing again even if its just 2 lbs I have almost made it to 50lbs im excited to have this time to do great things for me  today will be a good day 

So two nights ago I was up most of the night-- My boobs itched really severe I thought "maybe its just because my boobs are shrinking" paid no mind to it and just let it go--- Now last night I was up all night itching all over my stomach and back I DONT NO WHY... before you ask Im not on pain meds, I have been exfoliating and I have been using lotion (nothing new ) their are NO HIVES I just dont understand what is going on an why I feel this way CAN ANYONE HELP? or does anyone have any ideas as to what is going on with me?? Im feeling itchy and concerned  HELPPPPPPPP   I DONT NO WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO MAKE IT STOP HELP ME ANYONE 

I have been on this stall for just at a week today.... Trying to keep positive but I think I am going threw a little buyers remorse WTH did I do to my body?? I mean I am focusing on trying to keep positive some days are deff harder then others.... Today is hard

3 days and I will be a full month POST OP, I am down 43lbs and on my stahl currently.. Still having a hard time with my protein but Im pushing myself to make sure I can get enough in for the day.. I have been learning what it is like to NOT eat due to my feelings (its been hard) but Im learning that not every feeling means I have a excuse to shovel fat in my face  currently I have started expressing myself threw my pen and paper... I no that its a much healthier way of dealing with the stress that is in my life. I HOWEVER am ready to start regular foods, I like to freeze my shakes into ice cream and eat it with a spoon but I would give anything to just have some regular High protein foods, a couple more weeks and then that will be something I will be ready for, this week I start some strength training me and the gym will get a long well this journey is crazy but I am making it <3

Going on day 3 of feeling awful, I cant keep my protein down, I can get very minimal water down at this poing everything makes me want to throw up... I have No will to eat or even drink at this point... my energy is super low I do good until about 330 and then I want to crash out... Thinking Im low on fluids so I may be making a trip to the Emergency room  

Currently 12 days post-op.... Someday's are better then others some days my emotions are crazy other days Im overly happy... I miss food mostly tacos weird but I thats my current craving that Im considering throwing in my blender... LOL however I am learning to eat again, I am still on mushy food yesterday I enjoyed tomato soup... my body handled it fairly well I however can not tolerate Jello since the day of surgery my body has not wanted it every time I try it I get ill... So I just don't attempt it any longer.... I went and seen my Doctor on Wednesday and that went well I am down 15lbs since my operation so thats over a pound a day... I think this journey isnt going to be easy however i believe it will be worth it... She gave me a long talk about a stall I will hit from week 3-5 explaining this is normal to not freak out to much it will not last but may last the full 2 weeks I have vowed to not weigh myself but when I am at the doctors office and to only take measurments once a month so that I dont become overly obsessed with the changes in my body I just want to focus on feeling better and that alone will make me happy  

3 More days and I will be sleeved, I am nervous and my general thought is everyone is at this point, I am a big baby when it comes to pain and I a positive from everything I have read that the first few days are not pleasant... Everyone has their own journey and I am hopeful that this is the start of mine, I was just as concerned for my pre-op diet but I have been just fine.... Im sure this is not going to be easy but I am sure it is well worth it for the future of of myself and my children then deserve a happy healthy mommy and I deserve a happy health life <3