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Everything posted by B.B

  1. B.B

    7 month update...down 103 lbs

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Very informative post, I type a lot too, lol, and relate to all of your issues (check my entries if interested). I'm actually at 6 months exactly today and 113 lb down, it's crazy!!!!! I had a pair of jeans I couldn't put on last month and this month it slides off of me with the button fastened. I ran out of holes in the belt that I purchased 3 month ago. It's amazing feeling to be losing on a daily basis. Had my 6 mo check up to, my doctor projected for me similar weight loss (of about 10-12 lb a month) for next 3 months, then he said it might slow down a bit. I had some stalls before, when they happened I closely reviewed what I ate and how much, and found the baddies. It's easier to find the small things now than the big things later, so when a stall happens, which can be typical, try to review all that you take in, and that you forget (like water, vitamins, enough protein) and adjust as soon as possible. I'm over the moon happy with the numbers on scale but the buck doesn't stop there. There are skin issues to deal with (I find water aerobics really helps here cause it puts even pressure all over your body, and if you have knee and back problems like I do, its really the safest way to do weights), hair loss was bad, until I started biotin and now its much better, I don't see the handfulls anymore, and I even think it started growing back (and its the only physical growth I'm experiencing and happy to see). I'm starting school next week, super excited about that, it will change my schedule a lot, less time to work out, but it will enrich my life differently. I'm a little worried that I may need more carbs to deal with intense learning and brain power needed for that. I guess I should wait with worry once it becomes a problem. Love your rules, its the basics for a good post surgical life. I'd only add, for those who don't bother logging their food, like I don't, to really know what you can eat and not to buy anything else to reduce the temptations. Watching what we can eat ad how much, and how fast (or rather slow) is really becoming my second nature. My shopping trips took over an hour before, as I made my way through all the isles, now I'm in and out within 15 min, unless checkout is slow, lol. I go to 4- 5 places in the store and out. Gives me more time to enjoy other things in life too. Good luck to all and ty for reading. May the weight be the only thing we lose this year Happy new year all
  2. B.B

    Who Are You?

    I know for a fact that losing inches is better, cause the more you work out the more you will tone up your muscles and they weigh more than fat, while taking up less room in your body. I have noticed a huge change in my clothing, and I had a meeting yesterday with my volunteer coordinator and she was surprised to hear I'm just under 200 lb, cause she said I look like I weigh a lot less, that's about the nicest thing I heard in a long time I have been having a very busy month so far, so busy that I sometimes can't find time to work out or even to go for a walk. It's good in one way, cause I do still keep moving, and meeting new people, and just the joy of not being confined to home is better than anything Before I dropped under 200 lb I was a bit anxious about the weight loss, now I'm giving up on worrying, I only do what I can, what is best for me, and listen to the advice of the specialists who help me along the way. So I'm not checking the scale, unless before posting here to update the progress, I really don't measure anything, no food or calories, I got used to my diet already, I only buy what I can eat, and only eat what I have at home. We have a trip coming up, I'm not even very worried about that, once in the hotel I will buy a few triple zero oikos greek yogurt containers (or drinkables that are good on the go) and focus on those when I won't have to eat out. I actually had my first dinner at the restaurant this month, cause it was my birthday (I know I'm too old to be celebrating birthdays, but I really wanted to celebrate me, my weight loss journey and my success in it so far). I chose Red Lobster to celebrate at. I started with a full glass of water with my vitamins (I made it part of my routine to take vitamins before eating, it helps me with 2 things, remembering to take them, and remembering to drink before eating), cause I knew I wouldn't be able to drink anything once I started eating, then ordered a lobster bisque and added one of those to-die-for garlic biscuits, dipped it in the soup I had and enjoyed every bite. After that I took a little break from eating, and since the soup was still there and the evil garlic things as well, I decided to have one more, what the heck, lol. I suspected it would be too much for me, but I really enjoyed it and the taste was worth it and it tasted exactly as I remembered. Then it was time for dinner, for which I ordered only lobster tail and asparagus. As meal arrived I put the butter away asap, didn't need it at all, and after taking two bites of the lobster I was full. I kinda played about with the food while my party was still eating, then ordered to go box and had the leftovers (really almost full dinner) for lunch next day. Once at home I had a piece of Godiva dark chocolate with raspberry filling, it was oh so good I know that one evening my nutritional requirements were not met, but I enjoyed the food and will remember it for a long time. I'm about to have my 6 month check ups soon (I tried to schedule them before the year is over so that they are still free due to surgery this year). I will see my dietitian for the 4-th time all together (and possibly last), my surgeon, as per schedule, and that will be an ongoing check up, I guess still every 3 months till year is passed by, and I will also have my second and final visit with the psychiatrist (first was before surgery). I'm looking forward to all of those and making already a list of questions for each doctor. One of the things I'd like to focus on is the time when I will stop losing, I'd like to start preparing myself for that. So who am I now? I'm under construction and the general architect keeps changing his mind about my final look, and I like the unknown, and I like the changes so far, the good and bad. I will do all I can to minimize the loose skin, and once I'm done losing I may decide to do some elective correctional surgeries, 2 really come to mind, my abdominal and chest area. There is a procedure for getting rid of the double chin, and I started looking into that, it's minimally invasive, doesn't change the way the person looks like, only corrects the neck area. Once I learn more about it I will see if its good for me, for now I keep on losing Funny thing is that since I stopped worrying about reaching some number on scale I lost additional 4 lb, lol. Nothing can take away the feeling I get when I see that number always smaller, when I see it declining I still keep saying to myself, "This is crazy!" And I'm glad I finally found something that makes me feel awesome when I lose, lol Peace to all
  3. B.B

    Who Are You?

    Thank you so much for your nice and cheerful message. I have heard that loosing weight past the 200 lb mark is tougher, I hope it isn't. If you are interested to learn more about me try my story in profile, or some of the entries in here. In short I had VSG done on July 11th this year. I was nearly 300 lb and despite working with my doctor I wasn't able to lose any weight, but I also didn't gain any, yet living with all that weight was not an option so we decided to look into surgery. Now I'm only sorry she didn't recommend it to me earlier, lol. What I'm doing is mostly following doctors orders, watching what I eat and drink, and I try to keep busy. First thing I did after surgery (make it about a month after) was walking outside. The more I walked the more comfortable I felt with it - the first walk took me about 45 min and it was just a little circle around my block, now I can do it in 15-20 while reading a book . Then I started to extend my walking routes. I'm trying to keep it for about an hour. In the middle of October I joined a gym, It was getting too rainy outside and I didn't want to stop the moving. First month and a half I tried to get my muscles awaken and did some small weight training (really small, just to feel some resistance). If I had more time I'd add elliptical or recumbent bike. I had directions from my doctors and personal trainer what to do to minimize damage on my knees and back and to still make them stronger, so I was not allowed to use stair master, to jog or run, and do any kind of jumping. For last two weeks I have pushed myself into Zumba classes (I do take it easier than most though), yoga, aerobics with weights (low impact), and what I seem to like most, aqua fit classes. I'm trying to attend those pool classes 3 times a week. I finally feel brave enough to wear a swimsuit again, lol. When it's nice out and not too cold I'm still trying to add the 1 hour walk So that would be all, really. Just following the nutrition rules and keeping busy And I keep up with all vitamins too, as they are very important. I'm curious if it really will be harder to lose weight now, that I dropped under 200 lb. I will see and let you know how it goes for me in a few months, or so. And to be clear I don't shop in the small section yet, but I do hope one day I will again It is nice though to not have to go to Catherine's and other stores meant for Plus size women, not that I didn't like it there, but the clothing choices were not always what I liked. I'm looking forward to less of me
  4. B.B

    Who Are You?

    OMG!!!! I did it! Lost 101 lb in less than 5 months, wow. I can't believe I am here now. Its so wonderful. Although my recent weight loss might have something to do with my feeling under the weather I'm still very proud of myself. I went shopping for new pants, at fist I chose few with sizes 16-14 but they were all too big. Then picked up a few with sizes ranging from 8-12, and ended up buying two pairs, one size 12 and one 8 This is really crazy but I like that kinda crazy - give me more! I'm saving for a big shopping spree come spring. I'm still wearing that winter jacket that I could barely zip up last year and now it feels like I could hide a person in it, lol. I'm really curious what size can I be next winter? The thing is when I look at myself I still see a large person, but I feel so small, wonderful feeling
  5. B.B

    Who Are You?

    Hi all So I am finally under 200lb, whew, but still 1 lb away from losing 100 lb total I wish to lose about 50 more lb, and it seems it will be a long journey, looking at the fact that last 5 pounds took a really long time. I guess I will have to work at it a little more than usually. More gym time, less bad food choices. Seeing my own weight starting with a 1 is awesome feeling tho Hope you all are doing well and wishing you all a good holiday season
  6. I have had a stall last 5 weeks, and finally today I saw my weight drop. So I'm still 1 pound away from reaching 100 lb weight loss, I think I can make it happen before Dec 11 which will mark 5 months post op. I know you didn't want to hear any advice, so if you want any, ask. I'm not sure i can help much, all I know is from my own example, and from what the doc recommends, to me. I figured its always best to listen to your body, without giving in too much, gotta be strict with it, and consequent. Maybe having a reward system might help? And the rewards cant be food related, lol. My family always has pizza on Fridays and I usually took one little slice, or two if they were really small 1/8's. So I stopped doing it. Also took out the desert options of small dark chocolate mint, and replaced it with some greek yogurt, if needed. And lastly stopped buying fish that was breaded, which I started a month ago. It seems to be so easy to fall off the wagon, what matters is that we can see the change in choices we made and come back to basics. Keeping myself accountable is one way I deal with my diet and I don't allow for any grazing. I started using a trick too. After my meals I wait 30 min or so to drink, and then I go to brush my teeth, and this way I don't want to mess them up till I am hungry enough for my next meal, and prevent grazing. Hope that gives you some ideas, also, keep in mind its the holidays, and normally people gain in this time a year a few pounds. I know we should be losing, but we are humans with weaknesses. I'm pretty sure after the holidays it will be easier to get back in former rhythms. I wish you all the best on your journey. Don't give up and focus on what you can change to make it better. Ask your doc to guide you personally. Btw, are you seeing your dietitian? They might help as well. I will see mine after holidays for 3-rd time since surgery. They usually request a menu sampler of what we ate 1-2 days before the appointment. Its vital to be honest and to talk all ups and downs over with them, they will only help when they know where the problem might be. Best of luck
  7. Glad to see you back, keep up the good work!
  8. B.B

    Who Are You?

    I finally found some time to write about how I got into this mess to begin with. It's a very long story told short, believe it or not, I know it looks long already, lol, but I did cut out a lot of unimportant stuff, I wanted to focus on things that were direct contributors to my weight journey. I hope you enjoy the read I was still skinny in my young adulthood, when I met my husband 15 years ago I was at about 115 lb. As we dated we would go out a lot but I never worried cause I also worked out a lot, yet one day I noticed weight creeping up (my x-small clothign felt too small). Doctor diagnosed me with hypothyroidism and that took a while to get under control. When we got married a year later my weight was about 140 and I started worrying. Felt huge and tired and disgusting, so we decided to move to Florida in hopes of being able to spend more time outside and helping me to get back in shape. That backfired, cause I didn't realize the severity of daily levels of humidity in that state. I was miserable outside and sweating more than I should, just for being out there. I did join a gym, but somehow my motivations were shut and although I liked to spend time at the pool or splashing around in the gulf of Mexico as I had to keep upgrading my swimwear from x-small to large size I also lost confidence to wear it out. My body was changing and I didn't like any of those changes, while my thyroid kept getting worse. We also were trying to get pregnant and that seemed to be very frustrating and put additional toll on me. Eventually I was informed I wont be able to have children, cause of other issues within my body. We accepted the fate and on top of 2 older cats we already had we decided to add 2 kittens. About a month after that I got pregnant (and I was at about 160 lb then), and my doctor worried about me a lot, reminding me that it will be a tough ride and I will have to see him often to make sure all is good, cause I was in high risk category of losing the baby, especially towards the end of the term. I took it very seriously and easy on myslef, but kept active as much and as smart as I could. Unfortunately problems started appearing very soon. First one observable and related to rapid weight gain due to pregnancy (I was also showing very early on) was pain in my feet, both of them. I noticed it while durning my morning jog/walk time on the track behind my house. It was my heel spurs pain that went on undetected for months. Then I started having problems with my hips, did PT for it, but since I was pregnant I didnt have any x-rays done. I was recommended to take it all even easier, to rest a lot, do simple exercises but not to overdo it. Then other pregnancy related issues popped up, like gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and I was eventually put on bed rest. Weight only kept creeping up and when at one point I took a longer look in the mirror I cried, cause I didnt recognize the person in it. I was about 250lb shortly before delivery, felt miserable and unable to do anything to help the weight, my sole focus was to make sure I can carry to term. With preeclampsia my doc didnt actually want to wait till my due date and suggested earlier c-section, cause that condition was dangerous for me more than for the baby. Since I was also breastfeeding my baby I coudlnt go on diet asap, nor deal with the heal spurs the way my doc suggested (I had only one cortisone shot in both feet - which was super painful and did relieve some pain, but cause it was meant to last for few months and wore off after 3 weeks I decided not to go through that pain of it anymore). Finally when I could I started dealing with those spurs and signed up for nutrisystem delivery. I was doing ok, and moved onto the steroid treatment of my feet, but as it failed and the doctor knew I had already suffered enough we decided to get on the track for foot surgery. That's when my husband announced his office will be closing and we were faced with a decision to either stay and look for another job or move within the company (relocation) and keep the employment. With 4 cats, new baby and my health issues we thought we cant afford to lose the income or insurance, but on the other hand we had just refinanced the mortgage in our house, and did a lot of major renovations, including new windows, new AC system, pool and backyard upgrade (basically making it safer for the baby, adding a safety fence and replacing existing concrete with nice pavers). So we were in a catch-22, either way we'd chose to continue we'd lose a lot of money, and in the still very unstable market then (my son is 7 now) having a steady income won over huge losses from sale of the house. After we moved my search for a foot doctor started and it was a painful process, not only cause I was still hurting a lot every time I walked, but also cause of the type of doctors I happened to come across. After a year of seeing 3 different ones I gave up and thought the universe is against me. With nutrisystem I came close to 200 lb but never under, and as I continued to have my food delivered to new place I saw that it eventually wasnt helping me at all, so I decided to quit it. Then as I became less and less mobile cause of pain and weight gain I also became a recluse, didnt want any pictures taken, avoided family gatherings and descended into the world of online gaming and constant snacking. Finally 3 years ago I had some eye opening facts presented to me, as my weight got close to 300 lb and I was moving out of the pre-diabetes stage. With my reg doctor we tried to fix my diet and habits, but the foot pain prevented me from most activity, it got so bad that I had to line up chairs between sofa and bathroom so I could make it there. That was no way to live, another huge wake up call was that I wasnt fitting on my son's school bus to get him strapped in (he takes the short bus cause he is autistic - and that diagnosis was also as if someone was putting up more obstacles in my way to recovery, my full focus - or whatever was left of it, cause I wasn't really myself anymore - went into trying to help him instead of helping myself). During the year of work with my doctor I slowly changed my diet, and although I didnt lose any weight I also didnt gain anymore, but other problems came to light, like sleep apnea and high blood pressure. I finally had to also do somethign about my feet, and took it very seriously to find a doctor that will want to operate on them and I finally got lucky. She had actually listened to me, and only suggested one type of therapy that I didnt try before - laser, but when after a few weeks the results were not what she expected we moved fast track into surgery. I had one foot operated on before thanksgiving 2 years ago, and the other before christmas (chose those dates for 2 reasons: 1. cause my son woud have time off from school and hubby some vaction too and I could rest post op, when I couldnt really walk much at first and each foot was beign kept for safety in a postsurgical boot, 2. another "good" excuse to not join any of the family events). Those surgeries gave me a green light to living, but as I started walkign again I noticed other problems I had no idea about their severity before, cause I was never up long enough to notice. My lower back was a mess and my knees were useless, I couldnt kneel at all, not even on the sofa while leanign over to reach for the blinds behind it. My life was pretty much a constant pain ever since pregnancy, and I felt liek trapped in a vicious cycle: one step forward - 2 steps back. I also didnt take many of the pain pills, cause they didnt really help much, and when I took the harder ones I was basically sleepign all day and I coudnt do that either cause I had to be awake for my son, besides sleep apnea was affecting my awake hours enough and often when my husband came home I was asleep on the sofa. It was a really tough time, but very slowly I was making some progress. Eventually it was a conversation with my doctor which made me realise that my problems can only get bigger if I can't lose any weight, and staying at or around my current number (I was fluctuating between 285-298lb) wasnt an option either, so she strongly suggested I looked into bariatric surgery. I finally did so a year ago, Nov 2016 and cause my insurance then didn't allow for the surgery to happen without a monitored and documented prequalification process that was supposed to take 6-8 months, I did some research to find better insurance and get accepted when I was ready to go through with it, after completing one sheet of steps. Ironically cause getting some of those required appointments was very time consuming I ended up having my surgery done 9 months after initial visit, but I was glad to have spent that time researching it thoroughly and learning about how it actually works. To think back then I struggled with the thought that it was an easy way out, lol, there is nothing easy about it, it takes commitment, discipline and a complete lifestyle change, but I knew I had to do it, I coudln't live like that anymore, avoiding people, family, having trouble to keep up with personal hygiene, and most of all not being able to assist my son when he needed me - that hurt me the most of all the pains I ever had. So here I am now, 4 months post op and feeling great. I'm still having some pain, mostly in my knees, but also in my hips and back. I had finally taken the x-ray of my hips and the reason for my back and knee problems emerged, and am currently working with 2 doctors to treat it. Still not there health wise, and not skinny yet, but feeling hell of a lot better then a year ago and a world of difference from 2 years ago. I'm glad to have had people in my life who inspired me, guided me and made me want to see the beauty of life at the time when I was ready to give up. Also ironically I met some of those people while playing those stupid online games. Isn't life funny that way? I guess in the end all that happens in our live is somehow fated, and we are constantly faced with choices, and its only up to us what we chose to do. I'm happy to be alive and to be here, and am looking forward to skinny and healthy me2.0 Thank you all for reading, I did write this once before and cause of a misclick I lost all progress right before posting it, and since the site didn't save what I typed I didn't feel back then to type it all up again. Today I used wordpad to save the story as I write it Lesson learned
  9. Hi there I have been reading through your posts and I'm impressed! At one point I started liking them as well, and what I really like is your commitment to chronicle all of your ups and downs so honestly and personally. I wish you staying strong and on track and like you said, follow your doctors advice, cause that one is specifically made for you. There are general rules that work for most, but they don't apply to all. You seem to be very well educated in whats right and whats not and you are doing best you can while being a dad, a husband, and a coworker. It is surely harder to blend in with a crowd where nobody knows about the surgery, but you are making it possible while following the basic rules. Kudos to you! I also think since you were leading a very active lifestyle prior to surgery and for an average height male didnt have a really high starting weight it all comes easier to you, as it should be. Existing muscle helps burn more fat, all the work you are doing definitely helps it, as well and you are surely eating less now. I have been very strict with myself at first, cause I wanted to get into the right mindset and change my pre op habits. I changed them a lot and keep changing them, adjusting to current situation which is a work in progress - daily work. I also have to admit that recently I have been allowing myself not to have to be too strict. To avoid eating what I shouldnt I simply don buy it anymore, and even if I wanted to eat more i cant - there are days when I cant have more than 2 meals (if my breakfast was late). The only 4 things I'm really strict about are: portion size, drinking water only, taking all my vitamins and while having meals eating protein first. All other things that I get usually done during the day I'm trying to fit comfortably into my schedule without overwhelming it, and my schedule changes all the time as well. I know I'm doing well cause my doctor keeps reminding me of it every time I see him, and my 3 mo blood work came back all good - I'm very proud of that There is something you said that I'd like to shed some objective light on. Please think of it as an observation from a person who just read in one take all that happened to you in the past month. In your very first post you were expressing hope to find a buddy to help you tag along in your journey, and its very understandable especially cause of your situation where you cant really talk about it to anyone other than your wife and doc. Then you decided you will use this medium to post daily updates like in a blog, or diary, which is fine too, that's why this forum is here, so we could write what we think and want to write, or show our progress. I don't have time to post daily but when I can I write what I want to write about, so I get your point of view. Then eventually you started writing this post, and I got worried that you will quit updating us on your impressive progress, that is bound to inspire many people who will happen to come across your thread. As much as I understand your reasons for posting here and I respect your wish to do it blog style, I also wish you understood that it is still an open, public forum, and people who will read it might want to comment on it, praise it or find problems with it, just like in a blog. This is actually also how the buddy system (one you originally wished for) should work: we support each other, and also try to keep each other accountable for all of our actions. Its both productive and helpful, cause in the craziness of every day, or special events, like upcoming holidays, more and more of us will need extra support, and it has to work both ways for the system to be effective. Remember, we are all buddies here , and although each of our journeys is different, we all came to the decision to get the surgery done with different motivations behind it, we all also have the same goal - weight loss. Sadly not everyone realizes that fact, and we all like to think that things which work for us should work for others as well. I personally like to hear about all ways to make the most of the surgery, and if I read here something that I like, I will ask my doctor for his opinion before applying it into my routine. Every little thing might help, but we might not know about the options if nobody would want to share them. So keep on sharing people, and be supportive, and when faced with criticism, well, think about it, maybe its valid, and if it doesn't apply simply move on. I seriously hope I didn't discourage you from writing more, cause I find your journey both honest and inspiring, and that's the only criteria I need to keep wanting to read more. Keep up your awesome work and keep making good choices, now is the time to set a solid basis for the future and keep up with it. I hope to read more of your adventures in months to come. Good luck! May the only thing we lose here be our weight
  10. B.B

    Who Are You?

    Hi all, its been a while since I posted any updates, but that's good actually Who am I is changing constantly. I am currently so close to dropping under 200 lb, I'm so excited, last time I was under 200 was during my pregnancy and my son turned 7 last month. I find myself having so much more energy, its CRAZY! I joined a gym over a month ago, cause it was getting to wet and cold outside to continue with my walks and I also wanted to work on my muscles, well to wake them up and start moving them. I also started working with a chiropractor on my back, hip and knee issues. Tomorrow I'm signing up for classes to go to college, finally , to make me feel more like a teenager, lol (all I will need is braces on my teeth to complete the picture). I'm not at my goal weight yet, but I'm already feeling like a different person, also looking differently too. I missed wearing one pair of jeans that was too small for me last year and is already to big, lol. My local Goodwill will know me soon by my full name There are also few downsides to weight loss surgery, which I was not expecting to be so bothersome. One is my hair loss. I have been losing hair on a massive scale, clumps at a time. I remember having hair done before surgery and my stylist kinda complained to me saying I had too much hair. Now my ponytail looks really pitiful, I actually avoid pulling my hair back into one cause it makes my hair look really bad. I started wearing baseball cap most of the time at the gym, to hide my thinning hair. After talking to my doctor's office I was recommended to take biotin to help with it, maybe there are other things I could do? I also asked him if there is a chance i could lose all my hair, he said it's very unlikely, but I can honestly say I lost more that 50% of all my hair so far, and keep losing daily. What is really ironic is that I'm noticing extra hair on my stomach and upper thighs - really bizarre. The other really big thing is the loose skin. I get that it's a tough one to avoid, but now its becoming really annoying, especially for a woman. At first my breasts were gone, which saddened me a lot. I used to fill a D size bra now I can hardly make it with a C. I did have a stomach pouch post c section, that really never went away and the skin was kinda hanging over the incision site, but now I also have chin pouch, and that's a bad one to have, cause you can't hide it, disguise it or make it look tight. I noticed when I tilt my head to either side, the pouch follows and then hangs down the side I'm turning towards. I'm afraid to be mistaken for a turkey in the next week or so, lol, but all kidding aside, it is annoying. Worst thing is that it's my face, and if I decided to surgically fix it I'm afraid of changing it too much, or that something could go wrong or I wouldn't be happy with the result. Not to mention it's also gonna be super expensive. Does anyone relate to that issue? What have you done to fix it? Can it still change over time? I'm only 4 months post op, maybe there is still some hope for me and my skin? I did notice the skin on inner thighs and upper arms isn't as loose as it was before I joined the gym, so I'm assuming gym has helped me there. I don't really know of any chin exercises I could do, does anyone know of anything besides stretching? If anyone has any ideas they want to share please do, either here on forum or message me. I appreciate all input. Thank you all for reading, all best in your journeys. May the weight be the only thing you will lose
  11. Sadly that was me too, I'm so glad I did it, I feel like I have been given second chance at life, love and happiness.
  12. If what I experienced and wrote about helps at least one person, or inspires one, I'm the happiest human in the world! I did forget to mention that after the nighttime incident I talked to my hubby and told him that when they make any food at home and I can smell it, its not helping me stay on track, cause that need inside me to want that i smell seems to be overwhelming. Also seeing leftovers int he fridge is not helping, although in a sense it did help, cause it was like a test of my will and as hard as it was I passed it, but to make the 2 weeks easier on me, my hubby decided he will take our son and go out to eat as often as possible, to make that transition for me easier, and it was a huge help. I also thought at the start of the 2 week pre-op diet that the last 2 days will be hardest, they were not, with the exception of the one time need for something crunchy. When I arrived at the hospital I only felt a little thirsty, not hungry. I stopped going to my favorite bakery, too, cause those smells there always caused me to buy more than I intended, and now I don't eat any bread at all My sons b-day is coming soon and I may have to go somewhere, or send my hubby
  13. Oh that awful, powdery and way too sweet (as for me) pre op meal replacement diet. Second day (actually the night) was for me the hardest. I woke up at 2 am, feeling hungry, no actually starving, and I knew it was not the time to eat yet and as i looked at the clock I started crying in my bed. Then I thought I could go and get some water, the glass near me was empty so I went to the fridge to fill it up. Our dispenser is inside the fridge, and as I opened it I saw 2 pieces of pizza - leftovers from the dinner my husband and son had. It was also the pizza I loved, chicken alfredo, and while I was filling up my glass the smell of it overwhelmed me, I reached up for it, actually touched the cheese covered chicken on it, and then I started crying again, thinking I made a decision and I have to stick with it. I put the pizza back and took the glass i held in the other hand, and walked back to my bed. Had some water, tried to fall asleep but couldn't, I still felt hungry and angry and i started crying even more. Now I cried cause I realized i will most likely never be able to enjoy the pizza again. Eventually, with hurting stomach and head full of scary thoughts I must have cried myself to sleep. Besides that towards the end I had a big craving for crunch, and managed to satisfy it with frozen sugar free popsicle. I know it may get hard but keep remembering all the reasons why you wanna do it, and try to find the strength to refocus, or if nothing else helps, cry yourself to sleep, it worked for me. Good luck
  14. Ty so much I had no idea about it and it worked. Have a good day
  15. Hi all I'm not sure how can I update my current weight. Any ideas?
  16. For me it was combinations of many things that made me think I have to lose weight to be able to enjoy life again: diabetes diagnosis was bad, starting to take blood pressure meds was bad, not being comfortable in the movie theater seats was awkward, being unable to keep myself clean was awful, getting dressed took me about 30 min and I was sweating while doing so, getting any clothing over my foot was a huge effort and required me to be in a certain position to be able to manage it, my shower chair can only hold the weight up to 300 lb and I didn't want to use it worrying it will brake under my body one day, using CPAP was neither comfortable nor practical but I had to, and what worried me more was my son being scared of me when seeing me wear it, increasing foot, knee and back problems were starting to be a growing worry, but what got me over the line was one other fact regarding my son. He is autistic and rides the small bus to school, which means I have to get up on it and buckle him in. One day last year they changed the actual bus and this one had very little room in the aisle between the rows of seats and I had to squeeze myself sideways through them all (my son favored to sit on the very back of that bus). I thought to myself I cant wait till I wont be able to make it between those seats. Now as the new school year started and I am about 2 months after surgery I can fit between them just fine, I already put some of the older clothing away, diabetes was gone before I got back home from the hospital, I'm taking only half of the blood pressure med but I think at the next visit my doc might take me off of it completely due to pretty low pressure now (106/68), I can get dressed like everyone else, including clasping my bra without magic tricks, NO MORE CPAP ,saw Dunkirk in IMAX theater and enjoyed the movie immensely, not only cause it was a great movie but also cause I was really comfortable and sipping my drinkable greek yogurt while others chowed down their movie foods. I walk daily, about 30 min and I pay very close attention to how much and what I eat, and I see myself changing, and being happy, really enjoying life again. I still have knee and back pain, and I will deal with them when I lose more weight. Also thinking to sign up at local gym fro the winter months. The changes I see are not only in my body but also of my mindset, and the weight gone (about 60 lb now) really inspires me to do more, be better, smarter and healthier. I even started cooking at home LIFE IS GOOD
  17. Same happened to me, I finally found time to type something up and then as i tried to post it all was gone, and I spent good 30 min on it, lol. Not sure what happened but I don't feel like typing it all again, an "auto save" feature would be useful...
  18. that is so great!!! keep up the good work. my surgery happened on july 11, and i had already lost (including pre-op diet) 38 pounds, am i losing too much too fast? i dont wanna think so, and i do feel like a 260 pound feather and its an awesome feeling!
  19. B.B

    Who Are You?

    2 corrections, i must have clicked accidentally on florida, but i live in illinois (edited the info in profile but not sure when it will be updated), and im not sure why they are showing my BMI at 48, i didint write it, and when i had my very first consultation (about 6 mo prior to surgery) the BMI i got was at 51.9, and my weight taken that day was also lower then at the time of start of my pre-surgical liquid diet. my son needs me now, i will try to find time later to write more
  20. B.B

    Who Are You?

    hi all just a quick hello as im new here, and dont have much time now to write my story as they suggested in welcome email, but i wanted to make my mark here i like this forum, read a few comments, supportive people and nice community, glad to be part of it now

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