GreenTealael

Almost went to the Gym, decided not to.
So i wanted to walk 1.5 miles through park and wooded area (begging to star in a slasher film?) to the pharmacy to get a prescription filled & the gym is only .25 miles more away but then it started to rain so I walked (a different route, I can learn...) 1.6 miles home.
Then it hit me 
walking in the real world is totally different than on a treadmill. So I'm good with my decision.

9 months post op and thanks to a birthday in July and using a bad scale at a doctors office I thought I lost and gained but there was literally no change , for a month. Lol. Welcome to the slow down. Now im Focusing on self image, because I'm still dealing with body dysmorphia. Just yesterday I bought a gorgeous bra set , non returnable, and it was too big. But I think I kinda knew it was too big , I just can't stop shopping for the old me. Anyone else do dumb sh#+ like this? Lol

I decided to go to the gym 1 hour before closing, so I can shut that b!+%& down lol
#winning

I ate like a normal person yesterday!!!
I was at an all-day training where they provided breakfast and lunch. Since I didn't know what they would be serving, I packed my little cooler with a protein bar, yogurt and a fruit cup. I didn't need it, woohoo! One of the breakfast options was a yogurt parfait and at the lunch buffet they had (in addition to a bunch of stuff I couldn't eat) salmon patties, a squash medley, and orzo. They had fruit cups for the afternoon snack! I was so excited to eat what other people ate! I admit, I did eat some sweets, too. But overall, what a good day!

I got the word yesterday from my surgeon my CT scan of my liver shows no damage and I am negative for portal hypertension. He said if I had portal hypertension that he would not operate on me. So, I'm in! Onward and upward! I'm down 30 pounds as of today and I'm 29 days out from surgery. This is a great day!

9 months post op and thanks to a birthday in July and using a bad scale at a doctors office I thought I lost and gained but there was literally no change , for a month. Lol. Welcome to the slow down. Now im Focusing on self image, because I'm still dealing with body dysmorphia. Just yesterday I bought a gorgeous bra set , non returnable, and it was too big. But I think I kinda knew it was too big , I just can't stop shopping for the old me. Anyone else do dumb sh#+ like this? Lol

Stalled. I'm OK with it.

so this is me at or near my max weight and today, 1 year after surgery.
i opted to show the loose skin because everyone asks will i have loose skin and the answer is yep.
put on jeans and a nice shirt and all is hidden from the world  

Finally figured out how to update my username, now I can ha e the name I always intended. How it doesn't cause too much grief, especially those who expected me to be BlackTealael   lol  hahahahahahahaha

Thinking about walking 1.5 miles to gym and 1.5 miled back in addition to working out, thinking about just laying on the floor. The joys of Sundays.

I wonder if I'll be dissatisfied when I get to goal?

I wonder if I'll be dissatisfied when I get to goal?

I wonder if I'll be dissatisfied when I get to goal?

Today my sleeve turns 6 months old! Sometimes i forget what it was like 6 months and 50 lbs ago, so i need constant visual reminders

Major NSV 
Went to the movies with my children and refilled the popcorn bucket for them multi times and didn't touch a drop!
I stuck with coffee 

This week my diet was relaxed as i ate a slice of cake, a slice of pie, a tortilla chip (lol) and a few pieces of fruit. so the scale decided to move again. After a month. No rhyme or reason to stalls I swear. If I was perfect on plan , no change....
 

NSV: needed a shirt pronto someone was at the door or something and I grabbed a camisole, when I checked later it belongs to my 13yr old (and she  is not husky sized lol) score !

Soooo hungry today thanks to my experimental overdose on stevia to promote malabsorption/laxative effect. Worked like crazy and everything I ate for like the prior 24 hours came out, probably everything from yesterday as well.
Won't be doing that again.
Just small amounts for regularity. TMI much...
Anyway when I logged everything here's what I had:
B: Coffee with protein shake & Blended protein shake with half banana and one strawberry
L: Salmon salad (pâté style) with one crisp cracker
S: Boiled egg & nuts
S: chilly cow froyo bar 
D: salmon salad (again), protein chips & a half cup of watermelon
Plus water, tea, coffee
Next time I'll skip the extra shake don't even need the extra protein...

This week my diet was relaxed as i ate a slice of cake, a slice of pie, a tortilla chip (lol) and a few pieces of fruit. so the scale decided to move again. After a month. No rhyme or reason to stalls I swear. If I was perfect on plan , no change....
 

This week my diet was relaxed as i ate a slice of cake, a slice of pie, a tortilla chip (lol) and a few pieces of fruit. so the scale decided to move again. After a month. No rhyme or reason to stalls I swear. If I was perfect on plan , no change....
 

Major NSV 
Went to the movies with my children and refilled the popcorn bucket for them multi times and didn't touch a drop!
I stuck with coffee 

Major NSV 
Went to the movies with my children and refilled the popcorn bucket for them multi times and didn't touch a drop!
I stuck with coffee 

I maintained my initial 140 lb. weight loss for 10 years.  In 2004, my thyroid went crazy,  had a toxic nodule that was misdiagnosed and I over time have regained a significant amount of weight.  I would counsel and warn anyone that if your thyroid gets out of order,  PAY ATTENTION!!!  It causes your metabolism to slow down, you are tired all the time, so loose a lot of exercises that you would otherwise be doing.  You will gain weight if you do not get your thyroid back in control.  Find a good endocrinologist and go to them.  Be vigilant in your diet.  Eat what you know is good for you, no comfort foods because you are feeling down.  It will benefit you in a 100 ways if you will do this!

Uh oh! Something happened to Matty this week. I was in a local Wawa (think east coast convenience store) and a gorgeous girl ran smack into me while I was grabbing a grape Propel - just couldn't deal with anymore water today. She was texting and walking ... okay, yeah, this missed me as Gen X'er. Well she looked up at me and flashed me one helluva smile. I was feeling pretty good that day so it was time to bring out some game, "So you know I can't let a gorgeous girl who crashes into me go without getting her phone number." LOL! She turned beet red, asked for my phone and sent herself a text message from mine. She said, "Because you men never call ..." I don't know quite what I was thinking but figured it would be one heck of a ride. What is it with me and short girls? I seem to attract them and I don't honestly care about height. She's all of 5'4". I knew she was young but it didn't occur to me how young. What did I just get myself into?
I told myself no dating until the scale reads 190 but this new me is feeling sexually driven like I have never been before. Well, she's right I wasn't really planning on calling her so she called me. So I told her my age (41) and was shocked to hear that she generally goes for men older than 35. We must've talked on the phone close to 3 hours. You're going to think I am lying when I tell you she's a 3rd year med student and is interested in training to be a bariatric surgeon. The stars might've just aligned but I want to go slow and told her that I had weight loss surgery. She's totally my type - the professional, highly educated, and ambitious woman. That's what frightens me, because in the past, this has lead to unhealthy relationships. Well, I've got a date lined up for Saturday and I just want to have some fun. I needed money in order to make this happen so I sold a bunch of old computer equipment and managed to raise some capital for this adventure. I know I won't be drinking alcohol but that's okay.

I am sure some of you are wondering about my date with the 3rd year med student. It's a one and done and I am honestly relieved. I was almost headed down a road I swore I would never go down again: dating a type. I would honestly rather find someone less ambitious and more on my wavelength of living simply with less material things. I reject the consumerist lifestyle and would rather live simply instead of being in the buy, borrow, and spend cycle. The stress of living this way was one contributor to becoming 366 pounds and profoundly diabetic.