CherryBlossomGirl

Wonderful!!!

I kind of just need to vent and air out my laundry. So feel free to read on and offer advice as you see fit. I know it is long so you don’t have to read it either. Maybe you can relate, maybe you can’t but I wanted to share this with people who might understand. I do have some before and after pictures at the bottoms also if you just want to look at those!
I am having a hard time lately. I had my sleeve surgery on 5/29/16. I started this process at the end of October 2015 weighing in at 540 pounds. I used to have to wear portable oxygen 24/7 because I was so overweight my fat was pressing against my lungs and restricting my breathing. I have managed to get down to 248 pounds since my surgery 14 months ago. Now I can walk 6 miles up and down hills without even getting out of breath.
I just had the first of many plastic surgeries on June 5th. It was just an interim surgery since I am not at goal yet, but losing over 290 pounds will affect your skin drastically and I needed my stomach hang removed for quality of life reasons.
I want many more plastic surgeries. My thighs are my biggest concern. My plastic surgeon told me he wants me to get to goal and wait at least 9 months at a stable weight before we do any more though.
My doctor’s just want me to get to a size 12 or 10 as my goal. I started at a size 38/40 and now I am a size 14/16. That is insane to me honestly. I don’t think I have been a size 14/16 since I was 10 years old.
Now, to be clear, I am a huge self-sabotager. I have been challenged by this since I was a kid. I have been in therapy since I was 6 with various issues and still see a great therapist every week.
For over the past month I have not been cooking. Mostly because I had no energy and I was in pain still from my surgery. I don’t heal that great after surgery and it lasts with me a long time. Instead of meal planning and cooking I have been eating take out, sweets, and junk and I know it’s not helpful. Thankfully I have only gained about .8 of a pound with my self-sabotaging ways.
Honestly guys, I think it’s because I’m scared. I’m scared of what it will be like without my fat around me. I have been overweight since I was 3 years old. It’s all I’ve known. I used to have day dreams when I was in school of just getting on the bus and unzipping myself from this fat suit I was stuck in and everyone being amazing at this beautiful girl I actually was.
Here I am at 30, basically doing that and it terrifies me.
I’m not saying I’m unhappy with the weightloss, not at all. I am ECSTATIC! I can actually live my life and join in on the world instead of being trapped in my body and only living as a shell of a human being.
I can go to amusement parks and fit on the rides. Which is what I did this weekend as a kind of declaration of freedom and just a time to enjoy myself with friends.
I can be active, I don’t need to worry about if I will fit in a small space (but still my mind tells me I won’t and I’m scared every time that I won’t fit. I was terrified to get on every roller coaster at the park. Not because of the ride, but I was afraid I wouldn’t fit and the embarrassment would kill me).
This has been a draining experience, both physically and mentally. But for me, the mental part has been the hardest.
I was able to recognize that I was self-sabotaging out of fear though. I was able to get up, shake myself off, and start again. Because that is what you have to do. I have meal planned, weighed and measured my food, tracked everything, and started more activity.
I will not let my manipulative brain win this time.
I have come too far to stop now. I will not give up and I will NEVER go back to the girl who couldn’t live the life she wanted.

How can I not stop my success?! Keep pushing guys! This is for you ️

Made it to Onederland

Creating a new thread because the other one has gotten really long.
So, here are my before and currents to keep the topic moving.

Current as of last week:

I am just starting this journey and am finding my desire and excitmemt to be sleeved, growing each day. I am also finding that a lot of my relationship with food is incredibly mental. The first week after my initial Kaiser orentation my emotions swung like a pendulum at the thought of losing essentially my "best friend". So to combat morning the loss of food, I have decided to start a "Skinny List," a bucket list to fulfil missed opportunities. Mainly all of the things I haven't been able to do because of my weight or chose not to do because I was afraid of others judgement.
I am just curious if any others have a Skinny List, and what adventures are on it!?





~My Skinny List~
Buy a Bathing Suit without a skirt/shorts
Wear said bathing suit to the beach
Take a cruise
Indoor skydiving
Trampoline Park
"Run" a 5k
Ride in a Hot Air Balloon
Go to a spa
Water/Jet Skiing
Scuba Diving
Segway Tour
Ice Skating
Wear leggings
Wear a sports bra
Wear Skinny Jeans
Wear Shorts
Shop anywhere other than LB or Torrid
Do Pushups
Not be the fat friend
Fit in a booth
Have a date on New Years
Have a Valentine
Ride a non-disney roller coaster
Not have to use a seat belt extender on a plane
Love myself

Sent from my SM-N910T using BariatricPal mobile app

So I had surgery on 2/16/17 and after a stall or two I must say that I am enjoying life and my journey is going great. Before surgery I was on so many prescriptions, High BP, Cholesterol, metformin for prediabetes, a stomach Med, and heartburn med. three months out from surgery all my meds are now gone. My A1C is perfect, my cholesterol is low, my blood pressure is low, and I've lost a total of 110lbs (40 in the three months before surgery and 70 since surgery). That is 5lbs a week. I eat sensible, Protein first and then veggies. I have four small meals a day and have learned quickly what I can tolerate and I drink tons of Water now. I am shocked at how quickly my relationship with food has changed and all the things I thought I would miss (soda, junk, fast food, binge eating) are not really a concern. I look longingly at my coworkers food sometimes but it is more a nostalgia than a want. I like exercising, and always had but my ability to do it was nonexistent before. Now I enjoy the gym, and while it is taking a long time to build back up the stamina and tone I once had, I know I will get there as long as I keep at it.
I cannot be thankful enough for the support of my family and drs, my PCP for pushing my and my surgeon for doing an awesome job, being super supportive and checking in with me with random calls every now and then.
For those thinking about surgery, it will change your life, and you will get out of it all you count into it. I thank god for this new chance at a healthy life and for the strength to change.

Hello my fellow WLS peeps. I am on a mission to lose 50 pounds that I have regained. I am feeling hopeful and know that getting back to basics will do it. I would like this thread to be a place where we can come and be transparent and accountable. I plan on checking in with a weigh in every Monday starting tomorrow. If you want to join me, let's do this!
Heightist weight: 289
Lowest: 157
Goal: 150
Attached is my before surgery pic, me at my lowest and where I am today.
May God bless you and keep you️
-Mariela

Today I went shopping and was so happy I got teary-eyed in the fitting room. Size 18 to size 10 in about 5 months. At my last NUT visit, she didn't seem too impressed. Am I supposed to be losing faster? It's not easy but I'm determined to keep this going!

It's been 9 months since my RNY bypass... I have lost a total of 105lbs but have been stuck in a stall for a long while!
Starting weight: 280lbs
Surgery Weight: 267lbs
Current weight: 175lbs
I'm just taking it day by day and focusing on my food, Water and exercise. I feel great and I know the stall will pass! I'm not done with this journey yet!
  

I was 451 pounds before I had my surgery in September. Got on the scale today and saw the number 299! I know this is not a big deal for some people, 299 is higher than a lot of your starting weights before surgery, but this is a MASSIVE ACHIEVEMENT for me. I haven't seen a number lower than 300 on the scale since I was sixteen years old. So, yeah, I still have a ways to go, but I am so happy with this decision. I look better, I feel incredible, and I will never go back to being the self destructive girl slowly killing herself with food that I was a year ago.
Starting weight: 451 lbs
Current weight: 299 lbs
Starting BMI: 68
Current BMI: 45
Starting shirt size: XXXXXL
Current shirt size: XL
Starting jean size: 34
Current jean size: 20

So I had gastric bypass Jan 24, 2017 and so far I'm down 76 pounds I am beyond happy and so glad I made the choice to have this surgery, I have 50 pound more to lose to get to my goal weight.
Surgery weight 301
Current weight 225
Lost 76 pounds
Goal weight 175

Just want to inspire someone! Didn't think I would be here and happy that I'm finally at 147lbs!!! Still working and toning but grateful:)
Congrats on this decision and you are on your way to the best you too!!!

Sorry this is long....
The first thing I MUST address is the way in which some people talk to on another on WLS forums. Often, I will stumble upon a post because I Google a question looking for an answer in the moment rather than asking something that may have already been asked and waiting. I've noticed a lot of people being extremely critical of the questioner...
Here is an example (in a weak moment -MOMENT being the keyword - I might add... I'm on the liquid diet), I found someone asking if in the pure liquid post-surgery diet stage if they could have sugar free soft-serve ice cream. The first response was from someone who decided that rather than answer the question, they would provide an impromptu lecture on slider foods and how they should be dealing with food post-surgery. While I recognize posting on the internet opens you up to opportunities of criticism, I would hope that most people on weight-loss-surgery forums would have enough common sense to understand that most people on here are adults capable of choosing what they want to do. She didn't ask if she SHOULD eat the ice cream, she asked if she COULD eat it. I'm not saying the concern about slider foods wasn't without merit, but it wasn't warranted in this situation. Turns out, the poster just wanted to see if she could indulge in a lick or two in a social setting (a birthday party or something). She wasn't planning to enter a soft-serve eating contest. And even if she was... SO WHAT?! How does that impact the responder in any way? Why waste the time responding? The question wasn't, "What's an exmaple of a slider food and what are the dangers of a slider food?" UGH!
This leads me to another thing I'm really, really, really frustrated with. NOT EVERYONE HAS MENTAL ISSUES WITH FOOD THAT IS OVERWEIGHT OR UNDERWEIGHT OR IS INCAPABLE OF CHANGE OR INCAPABLE OF LEARNING WAYS TO COPE WITH FOOD ADDICTION. I am not saying it will be EASY, but it doesn't mean someone can't overcome their addiction. I know people from all ends of the spectrum who have accidentally overeaten at a holiday or party or have made a bad choice (food related or not) and I know many people who OBSESS over the food they put into their bodies and have done some serious emotional and physical damage by being TOO restrictive. Here's the point I am trying to make...
WHAT WORKS FOR YOU MAY NOT WORK FOR ANOTHER PERSON. And perhaps this is my unsound opinion, but having HAD WLS does not make you an EXPERT on WLS no matter how long ago you've gone; until you've gone to school and extensively studied psychology, gotten your doctorate, etc. etc. etc., no one wants to hear it unless they specifically ask you hey what SHOULD I do! SHOULD BEING THE KEY WORD!
Yes, some people may find it best avoid slider foods at all costs for the rest of their lives. However, other people will be able to indulge in a few bites of ice cream, or whatever and it doesn't undo all of their hard work or everything they've accomplished.
I have to say that I'm so disappointed when looking for answers to certain WLS-related questions to see so many people 1 - not answering the question directly, 2 - providing emotional/psychological advice, 3 - just not showing a little more compassion to people regardless of where they are in their journey, 4 - assuming you know anything about the person based on a question they've asked. And hey maybe you can tell they're making a huge mistake, but they may have worded the question incorrectly, they may be having a difficult time with something else in their life and they're searching for empathy from someone else who may have gone through something similar... the point is, a simple question doesn't provide you all the facts so stop assuming things about people because they've had weight loss surgery or are contemplating it!!!
On a related note, I'm so disappointed in the frequency in which I read people who start off by replying, "I'm sorry, but..." YOU ARE NOT SORRY! You are about to say something hurtful. If you have to say BUT after sorry, you're just not and you should delete your sentence and go read a book. Unless you're saying, "I'm sorry, but you're totally awesome and I love that you're realizing you're perfectly capable of realizing this is an internet forum and not a conversation with your doctor..." but rarely does it go that way.
FINALLY, I am so tired of reading things that are presented as black and white. I bet there are a bunch of people who disagree with what I have said... okay, fine, but does that mean I'm wrong? DISAGREEING WITH SOMEONE DOES NOT MAKE THEM WRONG AND IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU RIGHT. SOMETIMES YOU CAN BOTH BE RIGHT, WRONG, OR IN BETWEEN!
50 Shades of Grey? TRY A BILLION! AHHHH!
PS - I really need the pureed food stage to arrive... and fast.

After all this time, and all this work, I still love my sleeve even with everything that comes with it. I am still amazed at how my body cyclically and periodically continues to drop weight. I never dreamed that I would lose this much. I have left my stretch goal in the dust, because when I started it seemed unlikely I would ever reach it anyway even though it would still be considered 60 pounds overweight. I am now well beneath that and I am continuing. Here is a picture of before and present.

I'm bearing my soul and body here. I couldn't be more proud of how my body has changed.
I've lost exactly 70 pounds since my surgery. Today marks exactly 24 weeks ( 6 months ) since my VSG surgery.
There's good, bad and ugly about VSG. A lot of days, I cried and wondered why in the hell I had this surgery, and what in the hell ive done to myself. Throughout this process, I haven't been able to REALLY see the changes. In my mind, I always see a 268 pound fat girl. Granted, I have seen the changes, seen the smaller clothes sizes, but still struggled with my self image in my head. But today that all changed....
I realized today as I was getting dressed that I had on the same exact underwear as the day I took my pre-surgery pictures. Then I realized that today marked 6 months since surgery. So, i decided to take pictures.
I haven't taken pictures in this process because of the absolute shame and disgust I feel towards myself. Shame and disgust are understatement words for how I feel about myself. Until today...
Today, I feel proud. For the first time, I can honestly say that I don't see "that fat girl" in the mirror anymore. It may not be pretty, it will never be perfect, but it's mine, and today I'm owning it, and FINALLY for once in my LIFE, I'm feeling proud.
It's NOT an easy decision to post these photos of me in my underwear. I feel absolutely vulnerable and exposed. Please be kind. It took all the courage I could muster to do this. The current pictures are not the best quality but the best I could take of myself at the moment.
All you new VSG-ers, stay the course and have faith. If you have body image issues as I do, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you are not alone in the dark!
Much love from me to you all! ️️️
 
DOS: 12/13/16
HW: 268
SW: 256.6
CW: 186.4

5 months post op!!!! BEST DECISION EVER!!!! ️ 67lbs down!!!!

Hi guys!
I get on here every six months or so to update y'all I've never made a topic with progress pictures before, so I thought I would this time, as I've been maintaining below goal for almost a year now.
SW: 323
CW: 153
Size 24/26 to a 4/6
No skin removal
I ran my first half marathon in February and am running another in November, which is pretty cool! When not in race training mode, I run 3-6 miles, three days per week, and do HIIT style training (heavy weights and cardio) at the gym 2-3 other days per week. I tend to fluctuate between 150-153 lbs, depending on the time of month and just general day to day food/water intake.

Oh to pass time I was on here a LOT. I colored some. I couldn't read a lot because I couldn't stay focused. I napped. I sat on my porch and watched my goats play. It was a bit boring and I felt so useless.

Yes and it was that way for me until week five (which is where I am now) but even now, if I do a bunch of chores, I get so tired. I can tell it's coming back though. It has been the worst thing about the surgery (so I can't complain too much). I've read that in most cases week 8 is the week energy returns full force. Can't wait!

I had my surgery on the 20th and so far everything is just perfect! The only thing that really makes me crazy is being without energy and although I understand this is normal, but I am so bored do any of you feel like having a shower or walk around the house is A BIG job done and you need rest after this? I am a bit afraid of driving, therefore stay at home all day... what do you do to fly days faster and how do you entertain yourself? P.s. Yes, I'm reading books, watching movies, but need smth more