Neversaynever

I had this favorite pair of cargo capri pants....have worn them the last five summers cause they have perfect pockets....ya know, a place for my cell phone, a place to stuff a waterbottle, a zippered spot for a credit card and cash....just a really cool pair of summer pants!
I took a shoelace and threaded it through the belt loops and cinched them together. The effect was ghastly...the fabric all bunched up and weird.....but that part was under my shirt, and it kept them from falling off my butt...so I figured...meh, why not? I mean, they started to resemble roomy bloomers cinched at the waist with a hunk of clothesline...lol...but those POCKETS! Why in the hell don't clothing designers give women decent pockets? What sick jerk thought up the idea of sewed shut vanity pockets?
Just a couple weeks ago I finally thought about saying goodbye to my size 22 wonder pants.....cause I found something super similar at Kohls...and the 16s fit perfect:) (My bestie said the 14s were a better fit, but I like cargos loose)
Was kinda hard to throw them away. I mean...after five years of wear and misshaped stressed belt loops...it's not like Goodwill wants them. They were too faithful to put in the trash. They served me SO well!
In the end I chickened out and stuck them in my bottom drawer. I'm telling myself they'll be what I reach for the next time I want to paint or do rough yard work or get greasy.
I doubt I will....they're crazy loose. Without tying the waist up, they literally fall off me.
But I love them. I always felt sexy in them...even at 270.
I have a few shirts like that, too.....weird emotional connections to my old life. Stuff I just can't quite let go yet.
For the most part, I've been good about sending stuff consigment or goodwill.
But a few things just need to hang out a year or so more before I get rid of them for good.
No idea why. I just still need that identity bridge.

The great thing about message boards is 100 other people will benefit from your words even if the OP doesn’t

1. So yes, we all get the point of the surgery is to lose weight and lead a healthy lifestyle BUT that doesn't mean we can't enjoy ourselves sometimes. My favorite food chain is in LA, In-N-Out Burger. Will I be able to eat a cheeseburger and small fry with like a milkshake? Clearly I won't be opting for this on the daily but we all still need to indulge in our favorites once in a while and I'm not sure how much of it I'll be able to eat I'm assuming maybe like 1/3 or maybe 1/2 of the entire meal. But does anyone have experience with eating cheeseburgers, fries and a milkshake on like a vacation or for just a little "cheat meal"? (Again, I get the point is to NOT eat these types of food but sometimes you have urges especially on vacations).
Maybe I over read what surgery you are having, but its a little different for a sleever or someone who's had RNY. I cannot eat regular ice cream. It has way too much sugar and I would dump. Occasionally I will eat sugar free ice cream from the grocery store. But you are hard pressed to find sugar free options at restaurants. Also, I would NEVER be able to eat a burger (never with a bun), fries, and a milk shake. I wouldn't have enough room. Let me give you an example, I was at Chili's this past weekend and I ordered shrimp tacos and fries as my side. I had 3-4 fries and one single taco (I was stuffed!). I did partake in a couple chips with salsa prior to the meal, and I can do that as long as its long enough before our meal comes out. Eating out is not fun for me anymore, and its almost frustrating because I waste so much food. By the time I start to enjoy something, I'm already full. Don't get me started on the cost factor.
2. I absolutely LOVE sparkling Water like La Croix and San Pellegrino, does anyone drink sparkling water on occasion?
I drink carbonated beverages on occasion. This is not against my program. However, this is a mixed review in the WLS community. I would consult your surgeon to see if they allow carbonation after surgery. I also weighted until 3 months post op to make sure my staple line was completely healed. The important part is that you are drinking CALORIE FREE liquids.
3. Cocktails and Wine, I'm not sure about you but being 24 I like to have myself an occasional couple of social beverages, how was your experience with alcohol both mixed drinks (hard liquor) and wine? (Don't worry about beer I don't like it).
I have drank hard alchohol on two occasions since surgery and I did just fine. I did half of a shot of vodka to one small can of sugar free Red Bull. I was cleared for alcohol 3 mons post op.
4. Not to generalize but I think a lot of people have a sweet tooth, I love the occasional scone, croissant, cookie, French macaron, etc. how has your experience with these types of baked pastries been?
I don't eat baked goods at all. There is too much added sugar, and white processed flour. The only thing I indulge in is the SF ice cream on special occasions or really hot days. I stay away from most processed foods and things with added sugar. There are plenty of recipes you can make on your own at home that can satisfy your sweet tooth. This one below is for a Protein brownie. But you will be hard pressed to find things at the store (already made) that are bariatric friendly. The common trend is make it yourself. Cooking, meal prepping, healthy shopping...ect.
https://www.bariatriccookery.com/simply-gorgeous-protein-brownies
7. This is hopefully not going to be a struggle but when I eat I like to sip on water or unsweetened iced tea, coffee, etc. I know in the beginning you're supposed to drink like 30 minutes BEFORE consuming food. How soon after can you drink something? Also will there be a time when eventually I can have a beverage while eating a snack or meal? Or will I forever not be able to consume liquids and solids at the same time?
The answer is you will forever have to withhold from drinking for the 30 mins before/after rule. The only time this does not apply is when you are in liquid stages of post op. This important for 2 reasons. The first being is that liquids will allow food to pass through your pouch quicker, making you able to eat more. The second, is it could cause your pouch to stretch. My program specifies the 30 minute after rule, but not before. Check with your surgeon to see what your program suggests.

So I gave you very honest answers to most of your questions.... but let me say this, it doesn't sound like you are in the right mind frame to have this surgery. These are questions I wouldn't be concerned with if I was ready to change my life. There is a difference between concerned about post op recovery, types of Vitamins, or protein sources. You are concerned about not having to change your lifestyle. These questions don't sound like they are from someone who has hit their rock bottom and wants to have life changing surgery to lose weight. Just saying....
Remember this, this surgery is 80% mind, and 20% body. You will have to overcome the mental aspects. Are you ready? Can you do it?

I'm only 5/6 WEEKS post-op, so perhaps I’m not the person you hoped to hear from.
First, I want to applaud you for trying to think ahead. All these unknowns can mess with your mind.
Yes! Yes! Yes! You have every right and you deserve to be treated with respect in an honest and thoughtful way. It's not easy to ask questions when you're unsure about what kind of answers you'll receive.
Anyway.... The first thing that popped out at me was the general bargaining tone of your questions. What I mean is this: You love eating X , drinking X, and doing X so much that you’re hoping to bargain your way out of the commitment that you'd need to make in order to be truly successful. Kindly notice that I didn't say that doing any of these things would be 100% terrible. My point is that you need to be prepared to give up some things that you genuinely enjoy NOW in order to get the ONE thing that you apparently want the MOST. Is losing weight and improving your health what you want the MOST? If it is, then you've established your top priority.
I know these sentences will sound silly the first time you read them, but they are meant to make you really think hard about what is truly important to you versus what seems important NOW. It all boils down to you being willing to give up something in order to get something else that's better. Again, I didn't say that you must give up any of these things, but you have to plant the seed deep into your head that you would be willing to give up one or all of these things if it meant the difference between being getting what you like or love NOW versus what you really want LATER.
1. My favorite food chain is in LA, In-N-Out Burger where I like to eat a cheeseburger and small fry with like a milkshake, but losing weight and improving my health is what I want the most.
2. I absolutely LOVE sparkling Water like La Croix and San Pellegrino, but losing weight and improving my health is what I want the most.
3. I like to have myself an occasional couple of social beverages, such as mixed drinks (hard liquor) and wine, but losing weight and improving my health is what I want the most.
4. A lot of people have a sweet tooth, and I love the occasional scone, croissant, cookie, French macaron, etc., but losing weight and improving my health is what I want the most.
5. I'm ADDICTED to coffee and espresso beverages; lattes, macchiatos, cappuccinos, matcha lattes sweetened with flavored syrups like a pump of lavender or simple Syrup or matcha powder, but losing weight and improving my health is what I want the most.
6. I'm not stupid. I know it's an addictive habit and I'm trying to quit smoking cigarettes and e-cigs like Juul's, but losing weight and improving my health is what I want the most.
7. I eat I like to sip on Water or unsweetened iced tea, coffee while eating a snack or meal, but losing weight and improving my health is what I want the most.
I’ve spent more time on this post than on any other so far. That’s because you and your topic are both important and you deserved my full effort. I’m not implying that my full effort is worth more or less than anyone else’s effort, but you deserved more than just a quicky reply with no real time or effort invested in it.
We all started where you are now. We’ve all wondered about how our lives would change after weight-loss surgery. Would we be able to handle all the new and different lifestyle changes or would we end up having regrets?
Please take my post in the caring spirit in which it was written. I had other, more pressing things to do tonight, but I chose to write to you instead. Did I waste my time?

And if you ever need a Bari-Godmother, I am almost alway here. Like almost everyone else I Am A Work In Progress, I may start to stumble but I never fall because the people here believe in me but more important I believe in ME and I know that I will make a success of this, I'm staying to the end come H*** or High Water, I have started on this journey and I am not a quitter. Don't count me out for you can count,on me. And barring dropping dead which I could do, because,i course I'm 72, I will be here until my weight loss is done and maybe also afterwards. I am a tough old red feathered hen , farmer can't catch,me, farmer can't choke,me. If I weren't a hen I'd crow right about now!🐥

So before I get into it, let me give you the basics. I'm 25yrs old. I started this path on 4/25/18, that was my first visit with my bariatric team, it was a general info session and first time meeting the surgeon. He told me because of my age, he recommends the sleeve. He said it would offer me a better quality of life post-op. From there he told me I had to schedule mandatory appointments with the cardiologist, pulmonologist, nutritionist, psychologist and I needed to have a sleep study done; all fine and dandy. The first four weeks of May I managed to get all of that done. I started my pre-op diet of 2 weeks, Clear Liquids only and I had my surgery on 6/25/18. My starting/highest weight was 410 lbs. (When I found that out, it broke me). After the 2 week pre-op diet I weighed in at 367 lbs. 1 week post op, I'm now, currently, 353.2 lbs. So ok, let's get into it....
As a kid I was always big. There is no denying that. I transitioned from happy meals at McDonald's to eating a big mac meal and still wanting a damn toy... ain't that some ****. But anyways, gist of things, I was always big. It wasn't until high school that I was like damn, I need to lose some weight. So I did, I lost alot of weight. I can't tell you my stats because I honestly dont remember but I can tell you my lowest weight was around 212-220-ish and stacked! It felt good! Then high school is over aaaannnndddd life happens! (Isn't that just the greatest fuc**** excuse?!...smh). A series of events later proceeded to happen and as the years went by that just drove me to a complete downward spiral in which I just completely gave up on my self. And what hurts the most is knowing I never truly knew how big I was or maybe I just didn't want to believe it! To me, in my eyes, I wasn't as big as I thought I was. I felt that I was still "healthy" I was active, I played sports, I went to the gym, I was strong, i was f**king untouchable..... i was a fat boy in complete denial. It wasn't until I saw a picture of myself sitting next to my girlfriend in which I just couldn't believe it. How bad I let things go and yet I still didn't want to believe it. Fast forward a bit, my son was born and it was then that it clicked for me. Had I kept on in the path I was on, my son would grow up without a father and I just couldn't do that to him or my girlfriend. One of my supervisors had the bypass operation done and recommended me to his doctor and that's how I ended up getting sleeved. But my point to all this is I was so active before that I just feel like a failure to myself! Like why couldn't I do this the natural way? Why did it take for me to get sliced and diced for me to lose the weight. I feel like I let myself down. Like my "yoyo" effect was entirely my fault for not putting in 100% of the effort in my past diet attempts. I follow so many people on social media who did it the natural way and it just gets to me. Now I can barely finish a damn Protein Shake without getting a stomachache because I drank it to fast. I'm restricted on my meals and idk.... I have a woman who loves me and supports me. I have two amazing boys. The support of my family and friends so why do I feel like I failed myself. Despite my current weight loss in such a short amount of time, why do I wish I never got it done and did it normally. I'm so sorry for the rant I just really needed to vent! I'm the "strong person" in everyone's life and I just couldn't break down like this to them.... I'm currently 3 weeks post op on the pureed stage and just trying to be strong both physically and mentally. Hope you're all doing great.
Side note: I'm so happy I found this forum. When I first signed up, I spent like 3 hours going through threads and I read up on so many things I could relate to. For example, how I'm so young and I can't even enjoy amusement parks with my friends or family because I don't fit on the rides. How I fear going to eat in public cause of the structural integrity of the furniture. How I hear all the comments and stares when I'm out in public with my better half (shes a very active and tiny little thing compared to me, definitely got lucky with her ). How I'm scared to ride in an airplane cause of the seatbelts. How I dread the summer time cause of the heat and the sweating and just everything! I felt I was alone and I could now relate to so many others.... it was just a sigh of relief to know I wasn't alone. I'm so sorry for the length of this post, I just needed to vent...
Sent from my SM-G950U using BariatricPal mobile app

At about three months out....I had a three week stall. I was pulling my hair out (and it was coming out, believe me...lol) trying everything to kick my weight loss into gear again. Barely eating 1000 calories (I typically eat 1200), exercising like a maniac, being stupid and listening to bad advice in desperation.... starvation, cutting my healthy carbs, all sorts of stupid...I did it...and got no where. STUCK. For three freaking weeks. Finally gave up, said, feck this...and went back to my regular healthy carb based 1200 calorie mayo Clinic Diet. Figured I'd either eventually lose weight, or just maintain my loss, call it a day... and feel sane again. Started losing again slow and steady. Did I mention slow? LOL...but steady...and I felt terrific.
I'm at the end of my weight loss phase these days...which is evidence that even the most flawed dieters can be successful if they don't give up! You can be an absolute screw up....and as long as you wake up each day and make an effort....and move your habits just an inch or two in the right direction every day...you'll get there. You really will. Be patient with yourself. Love yourself. Let little screw ups go and move on...they're not world ending. Focus on permanent habits. Try for good change EVERY day. Let the little **** go. It's not worth torturing yourself and throwing in the towel over. We don't have to be perfect.
I have gotten extremely comfortable with my forever diet...no more crazed desperation, no more rushing shite, no more frantic yaya.... just lots of really good healthy food, lots of exercise I enjoy....and 75 or so naughty calories a day. A livable, healthy, balance. (for me)
So...this week, I thought I really blew it...
Cause I had a McD's ice cream cone after the fireworks with the fam, I ate half a veggie burger at Burger King on Tuesday with my bestie after my tattoo (with the bun and some of my bestie's fries!), ate a ton of awesome treats at our pool party...though it was all pretty dang healthy:) And....ok, I'll be honest...was kinda relaxed about my food journal. Hubby and kiddo were around and it was vacation...so I relaxed a little.
So, I'm thinkin...well crap...it's not gonna be pretty this week. Stepped on the scale and lo and behold....I lost a little over two pounds...in one week...which this far out is freaking incredible!!! ( I started thinking about the walking I did at the air show and fireworks, and all the pool party prep and swimming, lawn mowing, gardening, pulling weeds for party...and yep...I worked that two pounds off my butt pretty easily given the extra hours of exercise)
That said? Isn't it nuts how you can work so hard and get no where...and relax a little and make awesome progress sometime? Sometimes it feels like we're at the mercy of a sick joke. LOLOLOLOL!
I will never understand how the weight loss Gods work.
They are a cruel, twisted, unpredictable race of beings.
Hoping everyone's having a terrific summer:)

PS..
For the sake of full disclosure.... My surgery was complication free. I had a very easy recovery. No nausea. Little pain.
Before surgery I had prediabetes. My blood sugar A1C is now well within normal range. My fasting blood sugar is in the 70's.
Before surgery I took medication for high blood pressure. My blood pressure is normal now and I'm off meds.
Before surgery I had very swollen legs at night and especially on hot days, and took diuretics for my edema. My legs are gorgeous now, no swelling....and no diuretics.
Before surgery I had the occasional flare up of a hemorrhoid I got during pregnancy. My butt is great now....no sign of the nasty roid. LOL.
The only prescription medication that I still take...is thyroid cause my thyroid is permanently feckered:)
But yeah....I can run again. I can walk miles without my back screaming. I can get a good night's sleep without my hip and sciatic nerve pain waking me up at night.
I feel like a normal 46 year old again. It SUCKED to feel 66 at 46.
No regrets. Nada.

Could not disagree with you more about the carbs. And could not disagree with you more about not having carbs in your maintenance diet.
I eat a metric ton of healthy carbs with lots of healthy plant based Protein in them. Has worked awesome for me for slow steady weight loss. My diet is delicious, satisfying and never leaves me feeling deprived or hungry.
I value my kidneys....so I don't want to damage them and shorten my lifespan by grossly over eating protein for the rest of my life.
I don't have problems with cravings. Sometimes I choose to eat a little junk, but I feel absolutely in control when I do and can stop at a few bites (and enjoy the hell out of them) Part of this, very likely, has to do with my diet full of low glycemic index healthy carbs that keep my blood sugar stable....which keeps me from Jonesing like an addict so I can make sane measured choices on a sustainable plan.
I get that you think carbs are the devil. Not everyone does.
Not everyone is a ketovangelist.
I don't want to live in a world without black Beans, health nut bread, watermelon and apples:) (and the occasional bite or two of a naughy assed dessert)
And I don't have to.

I agree with this, look at it this way, when you walk down the street, people see you and your shape, they don't see a number hovering over your head!

Keep the scale as one way of measuring but be realistic, its how you look in real life that matters.

Bought these for this grossly hot weekend. Hit the spot. Won’t make it a daily habit but, good enough to satisfy my sweet tooth.

I did. I tried a lot of old favorites. Hell I had two Cookies over Christmas and I was 20 days out. Was naughty as all bejeezus. I was the poster child of trial and error. And a lot of times...I just plain screwed up.
Most people are not perfect.
Most people experiment and it goes one of two ways.....either they lose control and go right back to their old habits..(a serious risk and a really bad outcome....so Byrne's concerns are heartfelt)....or they learn they really can't eat that way anymore and they figure out how to cope a different way.
I think most folks do this second one. They revisit their old favorites and go....yep, that was good, but the scale didn't move for a week...Hmmmmm, I don't like that. They count the calories up and go...Oh Crap! They regain their sense of balance and shake their heads and try, try again.
I have a secret. I sometimes eat junk. My plan allows 75 calories of junk per day. Sometimes I get an idea in my head of something I really want....and I bank those mad calories until I have enough...and I eat it (this often happens on Friday) After about four bites, I'm usually wondering what the hell I was thinking and why it sounded so good....but sometimes I still do this nonsense. It's part of changing decades of food abuse. It's part of testing where I am. It's part of trying to figure out my new eating identity on my forever diet.
I've learned to forgive myself and be accountable. I write down every miserable calorie. I have one bad day and I work extra hard the other six days that week. I don't exceed my 75 junk calories per day even if I bank them. I don't judge myself for still having food baggage. But I don't ignore it, either. I work on it. I create reasonable, balanced, accountable habits I can live with.
And I don't give up.
You don't have to be perfect...to succeed.

It has happened!! I lost 100 lbs! 313 to 213! To Celebrate, I got a new tattoo, not a Thanksgiving type meal I normally would have given myself as a reward. Such a great feeling, but now on those last 53 lbs....
I have my next goals, but what are my next rewards? What do you reward yourself with when you meet goals, weight or otherwise? Let me hear them, let me hear your latest accomplishments!

I hate them in the spring
I hate them in the fall
I think I hate them most of all .
I'd pour them in a dish and give them to Rover
Please let this pre and post surgery diet be soon over!

Reading so many clothes ones, I’ll add: I have bought a few nicer smaller pantiesover the last year as I lost. But my old cotton ones still sort of worked so I didn’t overhaul them. Now that I can wear actual dresses without longline “shorts” under them to protect the chafing thighs, I PUT ON ONE OF THE OLD PANTIES AND IT WAS FALLING DOWN under the dress! So I ordered as a surgiversary gift a whole set of new undies and the others are trashed as soon as the new ones arrive!

Another NSV from today: I found out that working out flattens the earth. I walked my daughter up to her first day of camp. Same place as last year. I had to hike up this hill to her group. Same area this year, but no hot sweaty hike up the hill.... I didn’t even realize it was slightly uphill. It was Everest last year; this year it’s as easy to walk as a flat sidewalk. Yeah!

it might be calling out to all the post VSG stomach, pouches
Hey brother pouch÷ How you doing? Are you still working for your owner? Yeah me too I'm glad she kept this much of me , I'm going to work well for,her the rest,of her life. Yeah, we're going over to the gym, we go there a lot since 8 started help her feel better! I'll be sure to say "Hi" the next time my owner and yours pass by. In the meantime I'll sing every once in a while to remind her we're still,partners in life!😘

My first week out from surgery, I lost 8lbs. Mostly Fluid.
Then didn't lose a single pound for 3 weeks. You just had surgery and your body is trying to adjust to everything.
I'm now almost 3 months post-op and down 35lbs. It takes time, but it'll work. Stop weighing yourself and keep your stress down. It's easy to get obsessed when you want instant gratification.

Also, I would not recommend using coffee as your clear liquid in the healing stages. Coffee is a diuretic and can hinder your bodies ability to retain fluids, they don't make a caffeine free coffee, like they do tea. I was told no caffeine until 3 months out, because caffeine does slow your body's ability to heal. Once again, nothing to do with stretching your pouch....

Thank you for your advice, you cheered me up

I know how scary the 'is this going to fail feeling is. But you've had some sound advice.
However worth knowing is that some of that initial restriction you feel at first is due to the tightness that the inflammation caused by surgery, gives you.
You'll ease into the new way of eating. Good luck 😊

I don't think your problem is not understanding "the rules"...I think you've got some other issues that fuel your addiction to bad eating habits and you need to address them.
See your dietitian. Keep a food journal. Get help finding problem areas with your eating. Get help defining good choices and the best limits for you.
See your weight loss therapist. Get some help figuring out the reasons why your not making good choices and develop some strategies for improving.
Everyone fails sometimes. But continuing to fail, and not addressing the problem...is a choice. You can make better choices and there are people who will help you. Love yourself and get busy. You can do this!

Thank you all, for your replies.

I realise this is not normal behaviour and I need to rectify it. I will take on board all you have suggested and see if I can make this work for me.

I recently went on holiday to Greece to recuperate, I had lots of small victories!
The plane seats were a better fit, the walk to a different terminal wasn't as tortuous and turning myself over from front to back on the sunbeds was a breeze, previously a real struggle!

Thank you all, for your replies.

I realise this is not normal behaviour and I need to rectify it. I will take on board all you have suggested and see if I can make this work for me.