Sleeve1stFitNext

So yesterday, I did a dumb thing. I went to see the Dietitian and Therapist at my surgeons office and I was so anxious at the fact that I had not lost any more weight. I had forgot to eat since Thursday morning (It could have been that I subconsciously did it out of fear of being told I am not doing a job). I weighed in at 196 lbs and found out that I had lost 5 inches since my last visit which they were proud of. They gave me a much needed pep talk and I was ready to tackle on the world again. 

I went to the gym (still had not eaten) and began my workout. My second set in and apparently I fainted. I know my trainer woke me up and apparently, I was trying to climb on the pull-up bars yelling, “I have to do the pull-ups” . Then in the Ambulance I am telling them that they are trying to hold me back from exercising and this is why our relationship will never workout . They tried to give me Oxygen and apparently I got rude with them and said, “I’m not paying $400 for **** that I can do naturally and for free.” 

After some testing, I found out my blood pressure and sugar was very low and I was severely dehydrated as well. 

Well 6 hours, $100 copay (probably hundreds in ER bills cause they will charge you for napping) and an annoyed mother later, the moral of the story is to remember to eat. Just eat. Don’t worry about the scale and the mind games it plays. Just eat. Now I am not saying junk food or anything like that but eat the healthy stuff. Don’t be afraid to. 

I was so in my own head, that I forgot one of the most essential parts of living and that is fueling this body I have worked so hard for.

So let's talk something personal. I have been literally shunned by two women that I thought were friends. 

      A friend from college (I barely speak with. We were cool but not really close) called me after one of my best friends told her about my surgery and how I inspired her to make a change in her life. Lets call her "M". Now "M" looks like me. 

     "M" called me while I was heading home. She began asking me about the surgery and how was my recovery. She then started talking about how I would eat nothing but junk in college and I would stuff my face and she could never imagine me giving up milkshakes. Ooookkkayyy whatever. She then starts listing foods and I would say, "No I cannot eat that. Yes, I can eat that. I will have to modify the recipe for a healthier version but I can eat it." She then asked how much had I lost so far. I told her 25lbs but I weigh in Friday so hopefully I lost more. At that point, she goes off on me, "What you think that I am supposed to change my eating habits to make you feel better. I am not getting the surgery because it is the easy way out. I refused to put myself through that." Again, oooookkkkayyy. She precedes to tell me how I have changed and I am stuck up wanna-be-healthy B-word and how I will be loose and saggy. At that point I told her jealousy does not suite you and hung up. 

       Another friend has gained weight over the years since having her daughter. Her husband has never had an issue with her weight until lately. She is now about to weigh 300lbs. For their daughters B-day this month, they took her to Disneyland. My friend was unable to keep up with her Husband and daughter, she was even told that she could not get a ride because of her size. Her Husband sat her down and had a heart to heart and express that it was time for her to start getting healthy. He said her not being able to get on a ride with their child hurt him as much as it hurt her. Now her Husband is big on fitness and when they met, they were both in great shape. He has kept his shape but he also understands that carrying a human being is not easy, which is why he does not care if she ever gets her pre-baby body back. He just wants her healthy and able ride the rides with their child. I expressed that I agreed with him citing when we went to Six Flags and the strap barely fit last year and how I nervous that the guy was going to tell me to get off. She then got upset and told me every since I have been losing weight, I have been trying to dictate people's lives. I asked her for an example and she could not give me one. She however kicked me out of her house and told me that if I continued to lose weight and act this way that I was no longer invited to her home. 

I had to call my boyfriend and ask him if I have changed? I called, all of my other friends and was like, hey have I changed? My boyfriend said that how I think about food has changed (he loves the whole kids meal thing). My other friends said, no I have not. They say that I am just way more health conscious and I view food differently but I do not make them feel uncomfortable when they eat junk in front of me. 

I wanted to post this so that you guys knew what was going on in my personal life and how this surgery and weight loss is effecting my life in other ways. 

Oh man my last post was on the 12th. Time to catch up then. Here goes. This will be a long one lol

5/13 - Nothing special happened. I ran out of meal prep so I brought 1 lb of turkey. To be honest, I ate that pound throughout the day. I am sure that was a lot of protein. Water intake was decent, no complaints. 

5/14 - Weighed in for my weekly and now weigh 221 lbs. I was excited since I thought I may have reached a stall already. That was a 4 lbs loss from the previous week.  Took my mom to the spa to be pampered lol. Went and had dinner with my boyfriends parents. His mom kept trying to feed me pasta. He had told them I could not have certain foods but his mom did not understand what he had meant lol. She was adorable (her English is not that good) and really wanted to feed me. I ended up having Grapes, 1 Peanut, Chicken Soup (he took all the noodles and carrots) and a small salad. 

5/15 - We got up early and headed to Virginia Beach. His mom had made us sandwiches which I had feed him and myself. She used whole wheat bread and I was only able to eat 1/4 (1 hour later the rumbles lol). He had his first trip to Wawa lol. He was sooo amazed. He had never been there before and just could not believe all that awesomeness was in 1 store lol. We sang along to the radio and did our usual conversations about life and goals. We got a ticket right before the bridge for speeding. Once we made it to the hotel, I handled check in while he got the bags out of the car. He decided to go put the bags in our room while I roamed around the hotel. Once I went up to the room, I saw two match pillows. He had gotten us both pillows with our First initial on it with our favorite color. He is such a romantic. That night I ate turkey and lettuce roll ups (I was afraid to try something new - did not want to get sick).

5/16 - We woke up and hit the gym. It was cardio day for me, while it was his lifting day and he was working on arms. For breakfast I had 1 egg, 3 pineapples, 6 blueberries and I was full. We went to the beach in which we had snacks. Apparently, Tositos and Salsa, I can eat a lot of. I was not paying attention as I mindlessly stuffed my face with the scoops and salsa. I ended up getting a lot (30-40 scoops) in which he had to take the bag away. The moment he removed the bag, I felt the restriction in my stomach. I had eaten too much and needed purge. I made it to the boardwalk and was bent over a garbage can puking my soul out. Once I was done I felt better. We went up stairs and I took a nap (after brushing my teeth of course lol). I felt better so we went to the amusement park. He got on all the rides while I had a mini panic attack each time the ride started. I did not have dinner. I wanted the Tositos but he had thrown them away. 

5/17 - Woke up and went to the pool. We did laps and we time each other, trying to beat our personal best. I had scrambled eggs (no cheese) and 2 strawberries. For lunch we went to a dinner. I had a grilled chicken salad (they brought out breaded chicken ), feeling bad because the guy look like he had a bad day, I just ate it. Nothing bad happened, I found out that they do not fry their breaded chicken but microwave it lol. Hey its whatever. We went bike riding along the boardwalk. He did most of the pedaling lol. Do not judge me, It is harder than it looks. For dinner, we went to a restaurant and I had watermelon (was not interested with the foods on the menu). I ended up having turkey, lettuce roll ups again. We sat on the balcony and just watched the sun go down and watch the people below as we talked.

5/18 - I decided to do the bike. The level was performance and it kicked my butt with a 20 minute work out. He worked on Abs and Obliques. It was fun working out together because I would be cheering him on during the hard parts of his workout and he would be cheering me on during the hard parts of mines. He was really proud of me. We ate breakfast and I had scrambled eggs, half of a biscuit. I did not finish any of it. I felt light headed and had vertigo. He asked me if I had taken my vitamins and I remembered that I had not taken them since Saturday. I figured maybe it was a deficiency because my water intake was excellent and he made sure of that. Upon taking some of my vitamins, I started feeling a lot better. Unfortunately, we had to head home. We did not want to go but we had too. It was the first time we had been on vacation together and it was amazing. He dropped the,  "I love you" saying and I kept saying, "Awww you Nub me". He just laughed. BEST VACATION EVER!!!

5/19 - Only had a protein shake this morning. It is wayyyyyyy tooo hot to want to eat. I have been drinking water all day. Took my vitamins and I feel like I am getting better. I am making a eggplant lasagna for meal prep this week. To be honest, it is soo hot that I did not measure any thing. I am sure the calories are going to be higher than they should so I am prepared for that. 

@Newme17 and @Sweet as peaches I hope your recoveries are going well!!!

Well that is the update. Sorry so long. 

5/20 - Ate the eggplant ricotta bake. I had that foamy feeling in my mouth and the rumbles. I guest eggplant does not sit well in my tummy. Went to the Taco placed and got a naked chicken burrito. I tried their new kind of chicken (FYI The guy failed to inform me that it was chipotle spicy chicken. Oh it tasted delicious. 5 minutes later I was puking up foam. I ended up spending my lunch break laid on the floor in the back of the office curled up in the fetal position. So spicy food does not love me anymore .

5/21 - Did not have any meal prep because the eggplant would not sit well in my tummy. The left over Halal chicken that I had, I spilled pulling it out of the my lunch box (Damn Portion8 container lol) I ended up getting a chicken Salad from the Turkish place downstairs. It was an interesting taste. It was sweet. Felt very disappointed after I weighed in. I only lost 4 oz for that week. I had worked out really hard. I did however notice that my stomach is getting smaller. I might have just lost inches and gained muscle. Lost 8.8 lbs during my second month post-op. Current 220.6 lbs

5/22 - Wanted to get a Protein Drink from Vitamin Shoppe. Ended up getting some Atkins Granola bars. DO NOT BUT THEM. They are delicious, high in protein but have 17g of carbs in one bar but they advertised it at NET Carbs 3g. SNEAKY SNEAKY. I ate two of them and then realized it. They also are 210 calories each. It works because I will be full off of one for 2+ hours however 420 calories on just two bars is a lot. Now I have to be really mindful of what I am reading. When I see low carbs I have to check to see if it says NET (they do some type of convoluted math to get to that low number). Went to the gym before work and the trainer really kicked my butt. I am sore but loving it. Today, we focused on Cardio. Tomorrow he said will be weight lifting. Wish me luck!!! Oh dinner and lunch consist of grilled chicken breast and a dipping sauce that I made (1/4 cup fire roasted tomato sauce and 1/2 tsp of ricotta). Watermelon on the side for snacks. 

5/29 - I thought the gym at work would be open. I forgot that the trainer/owner of the gym is a Veteran and he stated that he would not be there and it would be closed. I came home to my brother and mom arguing. It was the funniest thing I had ever heard. My brother really wants to bleach his hair a Honey Blonde in the front. My mother is against it. I am going to try and repeat the conversation because it was hilarious: 

Brother: "I will not conform to your tyrannical rules you DICTATOR!"

Mother: "I said NO! This is my household and you are a child and have no say." 

Brother: "This is my body and I am trying to express myself externally."

Mother: "I DON'T care what you are trying to express. I will express my belt across your (explicit) if you do not leave me alone."

Brother: "Well you let Teeara dye her hair the honey color and did not say anything."

Mother: "Teeara is a grown woman, whom works 40/hr weeks plus over time, pays bills, cooks and did not fail any of her classes."

Brother: "Why do you always have to bring Teeara into things." 

At this point, there were tears running down my eyes.   Best conversation that I listened to. 

5/30 - Decided that I wanted to lose 17 lbs by my birthday. Hmmmm. Now how can I do that? My Pre-op Diet!!! I decided to do a 2 week liquid diet again. I figured that this worked for me during that time, so it should work again. Sometimes we have to go back to the beginning to succeed. I am soo hype about it. I have two protein shakes and 1 meal like before. 

I went to the gym and worked out. Nothing special. 

Feeling a little defeated. The first week of this diet, I had lost 8.4 lbs. Today I weighed in just to see how much I have lost so far and I only lost 2.4 lbs so far. I know I should be proud and not use the word "only", because that is still a huge step but I was hoping for more. I was hoping for the same success this week as in last. I should have known better, this always happens. It starts off strong and then decreases rapidly. 

Well I still have 3 more days, so let's hope I can make a comeback this time around. 

Just an update on the liquid diet: 

Starting Weight: 260 lbs

Week 1: 251.6 lbs 

Week 2: 248,8

Total loss: 11.4 lbs. 

Not what I was hoping but I will take it. It is better than I have ever done before. Long live my achievement. 

There is a hill that is along my bike route to work. Everyday I ride, I take that hill. Today was the first time that I made it to the top without having to stop. I am getting stronger a bike rider. My calories for today are 672 but that does not include dinner. I will be buying Standard Gold Whey Protein Powder to add to my fruit smoothies. 1 scoop is like 26g of protein (Something that is much needed as I am trying to build muscle). I am having a hard time increasing my protein intake in the form of food lately. I just have not been hungry.

Things I am adding to my diet to see if I can take them:

1) Whey Protein

2) Dannon Oikos Triple Zero 

Also, I have started doing mediation to help alleviate some stress. I retain weight when I am stressed out. It also causes pain in my neck and back because that is where I hold all my tension. I also want to be flexible and by relaxing myself, I am able to stretch and bend a lot easier. 

I was taking a look at my weight loss sheet. 7lbs loss for the month of February!! I am soo hype about it now.

This wonderful, amazing woman has guided me, encouraged me, prevented me from giving up and from looking stupid at the gym (ex. decline sit-ups)🤣. The saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Well it takes a village to achieve the hardest goals ever. I am so blessed to have so many people like her in my life. 

It has been awhile since my last status update. Sorry. I have been busy with work and working out. I am now up to 6 days a week. 2 Cardio Days, 1 extremely light cardio day, 2 strength training days and 1 HIIT day. 

I know it seems like a lot however, my light cardio day is just me riding a bike around without trying to break a sweat lol. 

Sunday: Light Cardio (Ride Bike to Work)

Monday: Strength Training - Lower Body & Core

Tuesday: Cardio - 30/30 Medium Intensity 

Wednesday: Strength Training - Upper Body & Core

Thursday: 30/30 Medium Intensity

Friday: HIIT

Saturday: Rest

I have made some smalls workout gains. I can do lunges with 10lbs weights in each hand. I am do reverse lunges with bar using 20lbs of weight. I can leg press 90lbs (which is shocking. I thought since I was heavier and my legs had to move more weight, I would be able to leg press more weight). I can do squats with 25lbs now. 

My booty is lifting and firming up too!!!

4/22 - Just in 1 month, the following has changed: 

1) I get a FULL Nights SLEEP !!! (Omg, I have not had a full nights sleep since before college in 2009). 

2) I can walk further and my ankle not hurt or I need to sit down (today I took 17,248 steps). Amazing and YESSSSSSS!!!!

3) I have really started eating my food cold. When I get hungry, I like to make sure that I am, so I will wait an additional 10 - 15 minutes. I just want to make sure it is not head hunger. However, I when realize that I am and I sometimes do not even bother heating up my food lol. 

4) I finally broke down and purchased one of the Portion8 containers at the BariatricPal Store. They have some really interesting things there. 

5) My younger brother (I have two brothers on my moms side whom are younger than me.) We were shopping for "Baby's" (he is the one that steals food lol) 17th B-day and my brother High Five'd me and said, "We are going to have to find a new nickname because FINALLY, "Bigums" will no longer fit you lol". 

7/26 - Worst day EVER!! My dog was hit by a car and his back leg paw is broken. My mom had him off of the lease and he was peeing on some grass near the curb. He was walking on the edge to come back around when he fell into the street and a driver clipped his back right leg. The driver didn't even stop. 

He is okay and just requires surgery to get pins in his right ankle. He has surgery on 7/28 in the morning.

I broke my Keto for the day. Anxious eating has always been my problem. I had Tostitos and salsa and just ate half a bag without realizing it. It took over an hour, however I still ate it. 

7/27 - Got the price of how much this would cost. Over $5,000 for 3 nights stay, surgery, pins and painkillers. I cannot complain. It was funny to watch people look at me as I paid the medical bills up front. They were like, what does this young girl do and how much money does she make? I was looking at them like, I will pay anything for this dog. I just want to be able to take him home already. He is such a resilient dog though. He continues to try and get up although it hurts. I told him we will be twins (I have screws in my right ankle). 

Kept to my keto today. Had beef chevy's for snacks. Sooo good. 

7/8 - Extremely healthy keto day. 

7/9 - Halo Top 1/2 Cup Chocolate Mocha Chip (I am in heaven!!). Healthy keto day. Weighed in at 208.4 lbs. Gained 1.4 lbs  

7/10 - Hung out at Coney Island with my Mom, little Brother and my dog Buddy aka Rasta Scoobs. At Nathans Philly Chicken with no bun. The guy gave me the nasty look when I ordered it. (It was like really, you are going to come here and want to eat healthy at Nathans?). With a nasty tone, he says, "It's going to be the same price and the same amount of meat." So in an even nastier tone, I said, "Did I ask about the amount of meat or the price? No. I asked for a Philly Chicken with No Bun. Thank you." He just placed my order and my brother says, "Don't be surprise if you find some special sauce or a hair floating around in it lol."

7/11 - Keto Day. Decided to step on the scale and weighed 205.4 lbs. I was like WTF!!! What is going on? At this point my weight is fluctuating up and down. I think I maybe starting stall soon and my body is warning me. It could also be water weight. 

7/12 - Another Keto Day. Went out to eat with my mom and brother and I was upset because I could have the Tacos of Bell. My mom keeps saying, "Oh you have your meal prep and you have been doing so good on your diet. Taco Bell is not good for you." I was like then why are you eating it. She says, "I'm grown and your mama. Do as I say and not as I do."  She is right but sooo annoying sometimes. 

7/13 - My day was healthy. Received two new Hidrate Spark bottles. Gave one to my mom and brother. They are in love and I set them up on their phones. 

Breakfast: 2 egg whites boiled with salt. 

Snack: 2 pickle slices

Lunch 1 - 2 : 2.1 oz of turkey with a tomatoes, a little cheese, romaine lettuce and my special dressing. (Broken up into 2 meals)

Snack: 21 olives. 

Dinner 1 - 2: 4 oz of ground beef, a little cheese, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream and salsa. (Broken up into 2 meals)

5/28 - It is officially shark week. Omg!!! I feel like I am dying. Ladies, do your breast really hurt during this time? Mine's hurt to even brush against them.

Shitty day. Tummy ache and all. I ended up in the back of my office sleep on the floor for 1 hour. I had made food (2 meals) for the day but I only eat 1 of them. I barely drank any water. I know I am dehydrated today. 

Went to Target and brought another food scale (broke mines), measuring cups, Vitamins (running low). The most embarrassing thing happened. The really cute guy from Vitamin Shoppe, literally came to say hello while I was picking out Tampons . I was like, "OH COME ON!" 

Listen, I know I have a bf and he is amazing, however this is my Vitamin Shoppe bae. I go to that store all the time, we know each other on a first name basis. My face has never been so red a before a day in my life and I have had my pants fall to my ankles (in public, getting off of a bus at a crowded bus stop) because my jeans were too big.

Sorry I am sooo late. I will make it short and quick.

6/15 - Keto nothing out of the ordinary. 

6/16 - Gym and healthy eating. 

6/17 - I had a small I mean baby spoon of Red Velvet cake for my b-day and I was out for the count. I had to use the bathroom a lot. My mom said, "uh hmmm. was it worth it?". I whispered, " Yes" lol. Just an overall bad day. I broke the diet and ate carbs and sugar. Shame Shame !!!! Lol I am only Human.

6/18 - The cake was still messing with me so I barely ate or even drank water. I was exhausted all day. Weighed in at 209.8 lbs.

1-Month Post Op Overall Loss: 14.6

2-Month Post Op Overall Loss: 8.8 lbs

3-Month Post Op overall loss: 10.8 lbs

6/19 - Barely ate or drank water again. I just slept most of the day away. Spent a lot of time in the bathroom. 

6/20 - Still followed the Keto Diet.

6/21 - Still followed the Keto Diet. Still time, adding breakfast foods to the option instead of a shake or protein shot. 

6/22 - Breakfast: Baked Turkey Bacon (3 Slices), 1 Egg white. 1 Romaine Lettuce leaf. 

Snack: 14 Olives

Lunch: 2 oz of ground chicken, mild salsa, 1 tsp of sour cream, and 1 romaine lettuce leaf.

Snack: Sugar Free Popsicle. 

Dinner: 2 oz of ground chicken, mild salsa, 1 tsp of sour cream, and 1 romaine lettuce leaf.

Snack: 1 pickle

6/23 - Breakfast: 3 Egg Whites

Lunch: Homemade Chicken Salad - no dressing. 

Dinner: Pickles and Sugar Free Popsicle. 

6/24 - Went to a friends baby shower. They actually had healthier food options. Met a few of her extended family whom had Bariatric Surgery. One woman (weighing 392 lbs) had the bypass 17 years ago. She said back then there was not a pysch eval, waiting period or even a pre-authorization. She said she went to the doctor Monday and that Thursday she had the surgery. She showed me all the scars from access skin removal. She told me that nothing prepares you for the disappointment you will feel when you work hard and you do not look the way you thought. She had to have a full body lift and breast augmentation. It was soo enlightened to speak with someone whom was from that time and had the experience. She told me that sugar kills her but rice and bread is her fave. She stated that she got down to 125 lbs and felt soo unattractive. She stated that she gained her weight back up to 185 lbs and have maintained that weight for over 10 years. 

6/25 - Had my Keto Meal. 

Breakfast: Baked Turkey Bacon (3 Slices), 1 Boiled Egg white. 

Snack: 14 Olives

Lunch: 2 oz of chicken, 1 tsp of sour cream, and 2 romaine lettuce leaf.

Snack: Sugar Free Popsicle. 

Dinner: 2 oz of Chicken and Romaine Lettuce with 1/2 tomato. 

Snack: 1 pickle

My best friend is trying to get me to try Isagenix (https://www.isagenix.com/en-us/products/weight-loss). She has lost 55 lbs since February on it. It is like $378 a month. I am like the hell!! Bro whom has that money. She is really excited and she wants to me to try it so bad. I am tempted. Keto has been awesome but I am bored now and want to try something else. I think I am a Fad Diet Groupie. 

Oh and the Hydrate. On the days when I focus on water. I am barely eating. I love those days. Food does not be on my mind. Below I have screen shot my progress. So yayy. Keto has really helped me get back on track. 

9/7 - I got my butt kicked. She did not hold back on cardio today. I crawled to the locker room. I sat on the floor for 20 minutes. I think I died at one point lol jk. It is all worth it though. I could not even lift my phone to take an after. I noticed that I am losing inches now. 

i LOVE my fitness shirts and pants. I will be getting more shirts. The place I order from always has a special sale. https://www.thefitnessteeco.com/

5/31 - Yeah that whole liquid diet thing is not going to work for me. The protein drinks made me sick and I just could not force myself to do it. Oh well. Back to keto is was. Instead of the gym, I ended up a BJ's with my Mom. She had me pushing around a flatbed cart with 4 waters boxes, 2 pepsi boxes, 2 coke boxes, 4 kool aid jammers, 2 Gatorades and 2 powerades. The hardest work out I ever had. I was sweating in the frozen food section lol. 

6/1 - Had my off. I went to a party at one of my friends house. I put on makeup and dressed really pretty. I was feeling myself. I got hit on by 3 guys. I was just  awkward because I am not used to that much attention. It was really weird. I was like, "Thank you. Goodnight." the whole time lol. 

6/2 - Continued with the keto diet. I have however made some alterations to it. I make sure to get in 50 - 70g of protein a day. I keep the carbs below 20g and the fat falls in where ever they do. It is actually a pretty easy diet to follow. 

6/3 - Nothing special. Just a regular day. 

6/4 - Lost 4.6 lbs this week!! I was having a minor stall and my month of May was not that great. I am just happy with the progress that I made. I am 214.2 lbs. I just never envisioned that I would be at this weight. 

4/21 - When to the NUT today. She was soo proud of my progress. I told her I was concerned that I my loss was slowing down and she assured me that it would be normal. She said, "Slow and steady wins the race. She said my weight looked amazing and that I should be proud of even 4lbs because of how much 1lb of fat means to a healthier body. She gave me the go ahead to start adding in new foods with limitations: 

Stay away from red meat 

Stay away from pasta

Stay away from rice 

Stay away from from all kinds of ice cream and sugar free junk alternatives.

And the usual suspects (No cakes, cookies, ice cream and soda (any carbonated/sparkling drink)

She gave me the go ahead to start lightly at the gym. No more than a 30 minute light weight workout (walking on the treadmill and biking). She said no weight lifting just yet, or swimming , I will have to wait until my 6 week followup with my surgeon to see if it is okay. 

Since Pre-Op Diet (3/12/2017): 29lbs

Since Surgery (3/26/2017): 15lbs

Although 15lbs does not seem like a lot, it is when you break it down in weeks. That is 3.75lbs a week. That is more than I ever did without this tool. I am soo happy it's working. 

4/22 - I almost forgot about food today lol

I made an entire meal prep for 4 meals. I had ground chicken and beans mashed. Reduce fat WW cheese melted in.  Each meal was 160 calories a piece. I had an Atkins Protein Water drink:

Atkins Protein Water: 20g Protein / 90 Calories / 1 Carb / 0g Sugar

Ground Chicken (1 oz Each): 22g of Protein / 170 Calories / 0 Carb / 0g Sugar

Black Beans (1 oz Each):  7g of Protein / 100 Calories / 19 Carbs / 0g Sugar

Weight Watchers Cheese (1/2 oz Each):  5.3g of Protein / 60 Calories / 0 Carbs / 5.3g Sugar

Atkins Protein Water: 20g Protein / 90 Calories / 1 Carb / 0g Sugar

Total:

Protein: 74.3g

Calories: 510

Carbs: 19 Carbs 

Sugar: 5.3g 

4/26 - I had four slices of turkey and 1 slice of povolone from Subway today. I had grilled chicken and broccoli for lunch. I am kinda getting tired of grilled chicken. I would like to try fish however I am getting nervous about it. I have off tomorrow so what I am going to do is, see my PCP (Long pass due lol). Then head to the supermarket and get some fish. Idk how to cook fish and that scares me lol. If not, I can always buy grilled fish from my local fish market as well. 

My Bf called me today. We have not talked to each other in 2 days (This normal. Between our Full Time Jobs and Full Time schooling 2 days is normal lol). He proceeded to tell me that he was down and really depressed in regards to the amount of stress he is under. So I just sent him these cute pictures while we were facing time and his face lite up. He started laughing. He laughed and said, "Your my best friend you know that right?" The sincerity in his voice melted my heart. Go BF for making my day better. 

5/23 - Was supposed to go to the gym but I woke up feeling like a dying flower. I will be honest with the fact that yesterday I did not drink enough. I thought I did but I did not apparently. I was out of breathe, I was light headed and I was just exhausted. I just spent most of today drinking water and trying to re-hydrate myself. i wish that darn Hidrate 2.0 would hurry up and arrive. I am like hurry up!!!! I want it now!!!

I ate beans, chicken, lettuce and tomatoes for lunch. I had watermelon for snack. I have a protein shake that I am forcing myself to drink because I want more protein. 

Tomorrow will be a new day. I will be going to the gym.

Okay. Status update is very late. I cannot remember some of the days so I will be skipping those. 

Work as been hectic. I truly started getting stressed out and actually starting eating carbs....a lot of carbs. I had a one week carb binge last week and I ended up gaining 2 lbs. I am not sure if it is from muscle or from the food (I am going to go with the food for accountability). 

My ex-boyfriend wants to get back together. That is interesting. 

Food wise, I have tried the following: 

I finally bought Halo Top. OMG that both came from heaven and hell lol. The ice cream is sooo good and delicious and if you do not pay attention, you can eat a lot of it.

I tried the Power Crunch Protein bars and I love them. I have one on the days that I go to the gym. I have spent this entire week getting myself back into Ketosis and it has been pretty easy actually. 

Well that is it for now. I will try to keep posting daily. 

So the ex-bf is completely out of the picture. I could not handle the uncertainty of his behaviors. One day he likes the way I dressed, the next day I was begging for attention. Once he started with the insecurities, I had to let it go. Truthfully, it did not hurt me as much as I thought it would. And that is because I had falling in love with someone else. 

I fell in love with a woman. She is the most funny, beautiful and caring person I have ever met. She is strong, confident and dorky at the same time. She is everything I ever wanted in a person and she is ME!! I FELL IN LOVE with MYSELF again. I forgot the person I used to be and went searching for her and I found her. I never want to lose her again. If that meant giving up someone else for the sack of myself, then I would do what is necessary to keep me as a I am.

I guess sometimes you have to be selfish. I cannot sacrifice my success to make someone else fell secure in themselves. I cannot sacrifice my peace of mind to give some one a peace of mind. I just could not keep living my life through other peoples wants, hopes and desires. I want to live my life for me. I have wants, hopes and desires and I plan on making them happen. 

"Like a Phoenix, out of the Ashes comes NEW LIFE!"

Started my liquid diet today and finished editing my video for my channel on youtube. I am soo excited. Shockingly, I have not felt hungry yet. I guess its the water and jello as well. I am just excited for my new life to start.

One of my co-workers told me she was proud of me for taking care of my health. I felt nice to hear those words. Especially since I am the youngest in my department. They normally treat me like I am child but recently that has not been happening.