Little Green

I'm glad you haven't found it necessary to continue with the craziness! That is my hope for having WLS. Thanks for the recommendation; I'm a YouTube freak so I would to see those!
I think the bolded is super key for me. Not having to "force" it by maintaining an obsessive, exclusive focus. I'm really glad to hear you've been successful!
Wow! You are very brave haha. I'm currently a full-time student and taking care of my husband who is disabled, and I'm trying to plan everything around school so that I don't have anything else on my plate during the time of WLS. Thank you for the words of encouragement, and definitely appreciate the idea of things becoming a lifestyle/second nature instead of "This is my short-term focus."

Hello all, I am a newbie who is still in the research phase of things. I have lost a lot of weight in the past, up to about 80 pounds, but have regained most of it. I am going to a seminar on Jan. 28 at a bariatric Center of Excellence surgeon/hospital to begin the "non-anonymous" learning process.
One of my concerns is that in order to make weight loss work I have to be completely obsessed with it. Not just the normal food prep, weighing/measuring food, meal plans, etc. but even the books I read, the movies/TV I watch, anything I do on the internet... it was all weight-related. Like I would binge-watch Biggest Loser and if I went online it would be to a weight-loss forum to discuss more stuff about eating and weight loss. And if I read a book it would be a diet memoir or a "why sugar is terrible for you" or other science journalism type book. And I joined a support group and took nutrition classes. Basically anything to do with weight/nutrition became my hobby.
And then, any time I found a new interest or had an event in my life - like when I got engaged and started planning a wedding or when I took up a new craft - I would switch my energy to that and lose my focus. It was like as soon as the obsession with weight loss stuff went, so did the eating habits.
In your experience, post-WLS, do you find that you have to maintain that intense focus to the exclusion of all other hobbies? And if so, for how long? Forever? Or have you reached a place where you can (just for example) take up knitting and binge-watch Orange is the New Black without it affecting your meal planning and eating habits?
I have a somewhat addictive/obsessive personality so I know it will likely be unavoidable for the year or two surrounding the WLS if I decide to have it. But, long term, I'd like to live a somewhat normal life - eating small to moderate portions, tracking my food intake, getting in physical activity every day, yes of course to all of that - but also be able to enjoy other hobbies, books, movies, etc. that don't have to do with weight or fitness.
Sorry for the lengthy post; succinct is not a word frequently used to describe me! Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

None of my friends and most of my family never commented on how big I was before surgery. Occasionally at work I would get the "you look great in that" or "that outfit looks nice on you" comment, but no one ever told me I was big. Was that because I live in Minnesota and they were being "Minnesota Nice" or was it because they didn't notice or because it didn't matter? I'm not sure I care why they didn't.
Before I had surgery I didn't tell a lot of people. A few select coworkers, a few select friends, and my parents and brothers and their families. I just didnt' want to risk the comments. Coincidentally, no one tried to tell me I was too small for surgery! They all were very supportive, except maybe my parents, but that's another story.
I have now hit more than 55 lbs lost and yesterday two coworkers that I hadn't told about my surgery commented. One, who I suspect has heard, got on the elevator and did a double take. She said she almost didnt' recognize me because I was melting away before her eyes! (she can be really snarky so I was shocked at her comment!)
The second was a coworker who I know lost about 40 lbs a few years ago with low carb and exercise. He and I have lots of mutual friends outside of work and have always been really friendly. He just came out and asked, "have you lost a bunch of weight?" Then he said, that could have been a bad question! I told him about surgery and we talked about our respective journeys. He showed me photos of him before the weight loss. I didn't' know him then. I wouldn't have recognized him. Then he pointed to my photo from new employee orientation 3.5 years ago that was hanging on my file cabinet. He said. "That doesn't look like you anymore!" I hadn't looked at the photo recently and he was very correct.
My point with all of this is, I am learning to accept everything as a compliment now because even my snarky coworker could have meant it snarky, but she was still noticing how much I have changed, at least externally! She will likely never know how much I am changing internally and that's just fine. Someday we will look back at photos and people will say "I cant' believe that's you" because all they know/remember will be the healthier version of your former self and they will say similar things to what your BF mother said. Its the truth and its not that there is anyway we didn't know it about ourselves, I think its also a testament to how other people saw us even before surgery.
We often feel invisible to the world when we are big, but to most of our friends and family, we are and were just us. My nephew who is 7, before surgery, told his mom that he didn't want me to have surgery because he didn't want me to change. He liked me just the way I am. (I am the favorite aunt and he is precious!) I have seen him several times since surgery and he has had no complaints! I have more energy to play with him and his sisters. We have always gone on walks together, but when I was there in January, I went on THREE walks so that I could hang out with each of the kids separately! We used to just go on one walk all together! We went sledding, we played outside, we had a blast.
Surprise does weird things to our filters. Like my coworker who realized AFTER he asked me about my weight loss that the question might have been ill-advised, sometimes our mouths engage before our brains do. If there is one thing I am learning more and more every day, it is that I can't control what other people say or think. I can only control my reaction and my interpretation is a part of that. I "decide" everyday that I am going to put the best spin on everything that comes out of other peoples' mouths. (I don't succeed, but practice makes perfect!) Remember, people show a more honest view of themselves by their actions than their words. It sounds like actions should be able to show you what your BF's mom really meant. Believe her!
Best and congrats on your weight loss,
pam

Hello all, I am a newbie who is still in the research phase of things. I have lost a lot of weight in the past, up to about 80 pounds, but have regained most of it. I am going to a seminar on Jan. 28 at a bariatric Center of Excellence surgeon/hospital to begin the "non-anonymous" learning process.
One of my concerns is that in order to make weight loss work I have to be completely obsessed with it. Not just the normal food prep, weighing/measuring food, meal plans, etc. but even the books I read, the movies/TV I watch, anything I do on the internet... it was all weight-related. Like I would binge-watch Biggest Loser and if I went online it would be to a weight-loss forum to discuss more stuff about eating and weight loss. And if I read a book it would be a diet memoir or a "why sugar is terrible for you" or other science journalism type book. And I joined a support group and took nutrition classes. Basically anything to do with weight/nutrition became my hobby.
And then, any time I found a new interest or had an event in my life - like when I got engaged and started planning a wedding or when I took up a new craft - I would switch my energy to that and lose my focus. It was like as soon as the obsession with weight loss stuff went, so did the eating habits.
In your experience, post-WLS, do you find that you have to maintain that intense focus to the exclusion of all other hobbies? And if so, for how long? Forever? Or have you reached a place where you can (just for example) take up knitting and binge-watch Orange is the New Black without it affecting your meal planning and eating habits?
I have a somewhat addictive/obsessive personality so I know it will likely be unavoidable for the year or two surrounding the WLS if I decide to have it. But, long term, I'd like to live a somewhat normal life - eating small to moderate portions, tracking my food intake, getting in physical activity every day, yes of course to all of that - but also be able to enjoy other hobbies, books, movies, etc. that don't have to do with weight or fitness.
Sorry for the lengthy post; succinct is not a word frequently used to describe me! Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

Wow! I'm very ignorant about WLS approvals (though very familiar with dealing with health insurance for long-term disabilities) so forgive me for speculating but it seems strange they would hold an application submitted in 2016 to standards that were not in effect until 2017. Maybe they held onto it so they could deny it for that reason... or maybe I am just skeptical of insco's! I hope you get a good result from the P2P with your doctor.

Oh!! That sounds fantastically dirty!!

but you have to wait 3 hours in between?

Sometimes I believe that one can feel more engaged to advice given by a member who has NOT had such a determined, straight to the finish success journey. Knowing that there are members who stumbled but who were able to overcome and get back on track can be extremely normalizing, and reassuring.
Of course we all want to and need to hear about the success stories, but isn't it also important to see the members who got through to their goals after suffering set backs, battle scars, and still are living a healthier, life?
Today's "newbies" have sooo much to offer. There are new procedures, new methods, new nutritional studies and guidelines. Like most medical procedures and techniques, WLS has changed--for the better in the last few years. In fact is has flipped almost 100% on some topics.
We all can benefit from listening to the newbies. -----really listening---not just reading along---but consider what they have to offer and learning from them.
I'm 5yrs + out and I can still look forward to learning from the well intending members who are actually here to pay it forward and not just trying to exercise "one upmanship" with humor (?) that is off the mark, base and hurtful. At 5yrs out, I don't find myself "supported or advised" by that mentation.
Tough love is still supposed to be "love". There is supposed to be a compassion behind "tough love"----not just mock the poster and "let them fail". If there is no "love" behind "tough love", the advice is moot---the point is lost because being the target of the "jest" becomes "personal".
I feel blessed to have come this far on my WLS journey. Do I wish my personal journey on anyone? No--no one ever!
Do I think I have come through a personal tragedy at the beginning of my WLS journey and maybe --just maybe be able to help one person from having to experience the same? --or God willing, help them to get through it? I hope so.
I've been a member on BP since 2011. Has the sight changed? oh, yeah. It has "circled". More than once. History truly does repeat itself. Veterans stay. Veterans go. Veterans come back. Some---a few never leave. Newbies ask the same questions? sure. They're newbies--are they supposed to ask "old" questions? Those are the same questions the Vets asked when they were newbies. Many Newbies don't stay. Many will leave and come back. Many will become tomorrow's Vets.
There's nothing new or revolutionary about any of it...
The circle goes round and round.

@@OutsideMatchInside
Thank goodness someone gets it!
Too bad the others don't get this is not about a piece of bacon.
This is about helping others. It's everyone simply excusing the behaviors and worse yet, telling her to ignore her doctors orders and move on. Yes, we are all human but when you go through months/years of preparation and in the first week that's what you do?
I don't know about you but honestly I was devastated everytime someone gets on here and they are denied by their insurance and cannot pay out of pocket. I remember being so I'll that my doctor told me I had one foot on a banana peel and one foot in the grave.
I just don't get squandering your 2nd chance in life. And for those of you saying well, maybe I wasn't that sick...I ask then why did you have this surgery?
Then we have newbies that simply disregard doctors orders and even worse yet, give some new person medical advice that you know they want to hear.
What the heck??? We are not doctors nor do we know why her doctor has her on a liquid diet for so long. She was a revision, right? Why didn't the first one work? I don't know this nor does anyone else but maybe, just maybe there is more to the story.
Others read this and assume that oh, 1 tiny piece of bacon didn't hurt her so I would probably be ok too?
This is not all about the OP. This is about people who have not had the surgery yet, or just had it or have not even gotten to their goals giving the OP advice to disregard doctors orders.
Some people want to hear those words.....and will act on it.
Too bad if people think I am being mean. I think I am being upfront and direct. Read whatever you all want in to that but someone has to shake some sense into those that just don't get it.
Ok.....I am officially done ranting.

(RN and comprehensive sex educator hats on)
There is nothing structurally different at any point in the intestines for a sleeved patient. For the lower intestines including the rectum, sigmoid, and descending colon (the parts that could potentially be involved), there is no structural difference for a RNY patient either. I don't know much about duodenal switch, but I wouldn't imagine that they've rearranged anything that far down the intestines.
So structurally, there's nothing changed that would affect the act.
However, there are bowel habit changes that may need to be considered. Many people have Constipation which of course can result in retained stool that you might want to address beforehand due to hygiene or comfort issues. Constipation also has the complication of creating or aggravating hemorrhoids which can cause pain and bleeding with anal intercourse. Other people have varying degrees of diarrhea post surgery, and sometimes with some stool incontinence (hence the warning "never trust a fart"). So this could create a hygiene issue which again you might want to address beforehand.
While I know the topic may be shocking to many, I believe it's important for adults to be able to discuss sexual matters and their bodies without embarrassment. Our societal discomfort with the subject of sex is a holdover from our puritan roots, and I believe it should be reversed.