highfunctioningfatman

I know for a fact that someone has had sex on the lunchroom table. Picture food on that...

My secret to deviled eggs is to pickle them first then take hidden valley spicy ranch dressing packet and mix it with Greek yogurt, sweet pickle relish and the yolks.

There you go again making me hungry with your seafood!

My boss had the surgery last August. I never saw her as a big woman. She is one of those women who looked beautiful with her curves. We were talking on Friday and she mentioned that she keeps getting the full pat down going through security at every airport in the last couple months and she thinks that it is because she looks nothing like her driver's license. It was issued last July and OMG she looks like a completely different person.

That will never happen to me again. My weight will not define me. I don't need a label. The only time it will be taken is when my medical card has to be renewed every 2 years. It isn't done by my doctor or paid for by my insurance company. In fact my Dr can take his blood pressure cuff and stick it squarely up his pooper. My blood pressure is fine everywhere but in his office.

I have always had the ability to scrounge something up out of just about nothing. Tonight was no exception. I made a steak salad with a Mexican flair. I dug through the refrigerator I made up a substitute for sour cream using yogurt, adobo Chiles and God only knows what kind of salsa I found buried in the back of the fridge. It was much hotter than I intended to be but it wasn't half bad. I don't believe that this was such a good idea and apparently neither does my body based upon the horrible stench that is erupting out of my rear end on a semi-regular basis.

I have a house guest rule. When they get there they get a roll of toilet paper. When it is gone, they are gone. If I like you then we don't serve spicy Mexican food. If I don't then we "celebrate beans and my infamous pickled deviled eggs".

Make that an EXTREMELY regular basis. Now my beautiful wife is laying next to me sleeping soundly and is completely oblivious to the fact that she sounds like she is operating a Fairbanks Morse hit and miss engine. My eyes are watering and my nostrils are burning. Even the dog left the room.

Today's fat man reminder of my gravity on earth. Walking across gravel and round rock while wearing flip flops, OUCH! I'm looking forward to loosing 100+ pounds of damn this sucks.

Ditto on the deodorant comment above.Like every other amazing female killing it in the gym....I don't sweat, I glisten. LOL But yes, thank you deodorant and dry fit! I told my wife about your "glisten" comment because she worked out at the gym today. This is a direct quote from my wonderful, beautiful wife. "I worked out so hard today that I sweat more than a prostitute in front of a preacher on confession day ". Apparently she doesn't glisten lol!

Congratulations! Can I just tell you how much I like your forum name. High functioning fat man. Spectacular. Why thank you!

I'm going to miss saffron rice

I wish multi quote worked on my phone...

LOL @ "pirdy" lady bits! Also... A friend helps you move, a REAL friend helps you move bodies. I have a truck and a tarp to go.with your shovel and flash light.

Ditto on the deodorant comment above.

Old spice high endurance on the skin folds. Try it!

Congratulations!

Only if it is low carb plywood covered with premier protein powder and dipped in unjury chicken broth.

You suck.

At least do yourself a favor and request an overnight oximetry. It won't count your AHI but it will see the desaturation. With sleep apnea you will see the correlation between your heart rate and your desaturations. The pattern will look like a saw if you still have sleep apnea. It is a cheap test and you do it overnight while you sleep. FYI. The standard for somebody to need supplemental oxygen is 88% or lower for more than 5 minutes of the night. Your brain uses approximately 30% of the oxygen that you intake. It's one of those things you want to make sure you do it right.

Somehow my family doesn't worry about strange noises... Our front yard. At the range. A day of fun Up in the woods. Teaching my boy to count and the metric system at the same time. My sweetie with my then new .38 special. Strange noises don't seem to bother us...

I should also mention that I am scheduled August 29th and Tijuana as well just with a different surgeon.

My favorite lyrics can be found in garages, on the street, on the drag strip, a circle track... you get the idea. If it's 8 cylinders, loud and has lots of horsepower it is playing my favorite song. I literally just took this photo a couple of minutes ago as I was walking out of my office. This is the shirt that I was wearing under my work shirt. Although I probably shouldn't admit this I do love the song of two lovely cylinders as well. This is not my bike, mine is currently broken :-( I did however "borrow" this bike yesterday from my coworker after he went home. I took it up a nice twisty road and had a lot of fun while getting it over a hundred plus miles an hour multiple times. I'm not always the brightest one. Damn horsepower! It is addictive...

I hate to be a Debbie Downer but you really need to search his name on Google. He has a horrible reputation as of late. Including deaths.