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Sometimes, support can include "serious negativity". A black and white view of the world is not healthy, and seeing feedback that makes you uncomfortable as solely "negative" might make it harder for you to recognize and implement good advice. I know there is a lot of immaturity and some people may be downright mean but sometimes negativity may be important.
For example, if you post here that you're afraid you ruined your surgery because you ate a whole pizza, you'll likely get some negative feedback. This is because many of us (myself included) are subjected to a litany of idiotic classes by our insurance companies about diet. Moments of weakness are understandable but the answer isn't to baby people, the answer is to light a fire under people's butts to get them to make the necessary changes to make this surgery a success.

Sometimes, support can include "serious negativity". A black and white view of the world is not healthy, and seeing feedback that makes you uncomfortable as solely "negative" might make it harder for you to recognize and implement good advice. I know there is a lot of immaturity and some people may be downright mean but sometimes negativity may be important.
For example, if you post here that you're afraid you ruined your surgery because you ate a whole pizza, you'll likely get some negative feedback. This is because many of us (myself included) are subjected to a litany of idiotic classes by our insurance companies about diet. Moments of weakness are understandable but the answer isn't to baby people, the answer is to light a fire under people's butts to get them to make the necessary changes to make this surgery a success.

Sometimes, support can include "serious negativity". A black and white view of the world is not healthy, and seeing feedback that makes you uncomfortable as solely "negative" might make it harder for you to recognize and implement good advice. I know there is a lot of immaturity and some people may be downright mean but sometimes negativity may be important.
For example, if you post here that you're afraid you ruined your surgery because you ate a whole pizza, you'll likely get some negative feedback. This is because many of us (myself included) are subjected to a litany of idiotic classes by our insurance companies about diet. Moments of weakness are understandable but the answer isn't to baby people, the answer is to light a fire under people's butts to get them to make the necessary changes to make this surgery a success.

I would argue that in some instances, negativity is a good thing and that it can be crucial to have a balance. If all you want is people blowing sunshine up your butt, that can have negative consequences. Sometimes, we need to face hard truths which are the key to achieving success with our programmes. We have to face these hard truths to change the habits that caused us to need this surgery in the first place.
You want REAL positivity? Use the feedback, both positive and "negative" to take your surgery further and achieve your goals!

That's not bullying, @jaminator gave some pretty sound advice. We all have our ups and downs, our highs and lows. Hell, my emotions could come crashing down tomorrow. This is why I've set myself up with resources. I have two therapist appointments set up for this month (the first being tomorrow), my therapist's practice has a walk-in clinic I can access if need be, I have access to my GP, and I have a nurse line I can phone at the surgeon's office. I prepared for this surgery because I knew I was going to have it and my surgeon, his office, and the staff at the UCHealth Bariatric Centre of the Rockies properly prepared me for this surgery.
But even if they didn't, it's still my responsibility to know. Even if they just told me what I needed to do to satisfy the insurance requirements and sent me on my way, it's still my responsibility to educate myself on what I'm about to do. I have been on this forum for over a year despite having had my surgery almost two weeks ago and this isn't by accident. I wanted to make sure I had multiple perspectives on what could go wrong; I took notes; I asked my surgeon, GP, and dietician questions; and I formulated a general plan as to how I would live after I got out of the hospital. That plan is subject to change, but I did plan.

Where did you say someone couldn't participate? When you started bullying people FOR participating when they didn't have a higher education in psychology. I have seen no behaviour from @jaminator that could be construed as him "attempt[ing] to assert [his] 'manhood' on women who have no desire to know them". If I did, I would likely join you in your criticism but I do not see your point. You would need to cite evidence to substantiate your claim and thus far, you haven't provided any.
Considering your usage of the word "following" in this thread thus far, I have serious doubts about the veracity of your statement.
Again, I cite your previous behaviour on this thread against you. Yes, by your bullying and antagonism against anyone who dares to espouse an opinion you don't like, it has the effect of making people feel unwelcome. While you have no authority as an administrator of the forum to make a formal decision of someone's rights of participation, your behaviour has the effect of alienating participation from this forum.
Hey, some people don't want to engage with your drama. In fact, I would say most people don't. It is frustrating, but I am able to and willing as I don't want your bullying to go unanswered. I do not tolerate bullying.

If you prefer to deal with actual professionals in your field, then why not join a forum where they require you to be a professional in your field instead of slumming it here with the laity, oh miss high and mighty?

I would say that you don't as you entered this thread of your own free will. If you "prefer to deal with my equals who are fellow professionals in the field", then your actions seem to contradict that. Furthermore, your desire to talk down to those who you perceive as having less knowledge than you makes me wonder about the academic rigour involved in your degree programmes.
I may not be an expert on psychology, this is true. But I am an expert at working with professionals across disciplines to achieve common research goals. I have worked with biologists, chemists, anthropologists, historians, endocrinologists, and zoologists and one thing I've noticed is that the ones who tend to have the most bluster and ego are the ones who have the poorest quality of research. The ones who keep an open mind, who are willing to look at an issue from all sides, the ones with empathy towards their subject and their fellow man... THOSE are the people who do the quality research. My hypothesis is because they have an open mind, they are more able to see the results clearly and not try to justify away failures or get angry when they are disproven.

I'd say that to a certain extent, addicts are pathetic based on the definition of the word. There's a reason why terminology such as "rock bottom" and "lowest point" are used in so many stories about and by addicts. Maybe addiction is a disease, but we don't catch it without our own behaviour being a catalyst. We all came here via different paths, but I'll say my eating habits had hit a point where they became unsustainable and I made a choice to change that. To varying degrees, we all have or are about to.
The way you are behaving here and now, I think you're projecting. As someone with a doctorate, one thing I've learned in the process of getting it is humility. The specialization of research and the breadth and depth of what we already know is fundamentally astounding and as someone with her doctorate, I stand in awe at how much I don't know. However, I know that just because someone has come to a different conclusion than me doesn't make them "rude, lonely, bitter, uneducated, uninformed, judgmental[, or idiots]".

That's not bullying, @jaminator gave some pretty sound advice. We all have our ups and downs, our highs and lows. Hell, my emotions could come crashing down tomorrow. This is why I've set myself up with resources. I have two therapist appointments set up for this month (the first being tomorrow), my therapist's practice has a walk-in clinic I can access if need be, I have access to my GP, and I have a nurse line I can phone at the surgeon's office. I prepared for this surgery because I knew I was going to have it and my surgeon, his office, and the staff at the UCHealth Bariatric Centre of the Rockies properly prepared me for this surgery.
But even if they didn't, it's still my responsibility to know. Even if they just told me what I needed to do to satisfy the insurance requirements and sent me on my way, it's still my responsibility to educate myself on what I'm about to do. I have been on this forum for over a year despite having had my surgery almost two weeks ago and this isn't by accident. I wanted to make sure I had multiple perspectives on what could go wrong; I took notes; I asked my surgeon, GP, and dietician questions; and I formulated a general plan as to how I would live after I got out of the hospital. That plan is subject to change, but I did plan.

I would argue that in some instances, negativity is a good thing and that it can be crucial to have a balance. If all you want is people blowing sunshine up your butt, that can have negative consequences. Sometimes, we need to face hard truths which are the key to achieving success with our programmes. We have to face these hard truths to change the habits that caused us to need this surgery in the first place.
You want REAL positivity? Use the feedback, both positive and "negative" to take your surgery further and achieve your goals!

Yeah, how dare I care about other people. If only I could be a sociopath like you, not have any care about how my actions affect others.

I would argue that in some instances, negativity is a good thing and that it can be crucial to have a balance. If all you want is people blowing sunshine up your butt, that can have negative consequences. Sometimes, we need to face hard truths which are the key to achieving success with our programmes. We have to face these hard truths to change the habits that caused us to need this surgery in the first place.
You want REAL positivity? Use the feedback, both positive and "negative" to take your surgery further and achieve your goals!

I would argue that in some instances, negativity is a good thing and that it can be crucial to have a balance. If all you want is people blowing sunshine up your butt, that can have negative consequences. Sometimes, we need to face hard truths which are the key to achieving success with our programmes. We have to face these hard truths to change the habits that caused us to need this surgery in the first place.
You want REAL positivity? Use the feedback, both positive and "negative" to take your surgery further and achieve your goals!

I would argue that in some instances, negativity is a good thing and that it can be crucial to have a balance. If all you want is people blowing sunshine up your butt, that can have negative consequences. Sometimes, we need to face hard truths which are the key to achieving success with our programmes. We have to face these hard truths to change the habits that caused us to need this surgery in the first place.
You want REAL positivity? Use the feedback, both positive and "negative" to take your surgery further and achieve your goals!

I would argue that in some instances, negativity is a good thing and that it can be crucial to have a balance. If all you want is people blowing sunshine up your butt, that can have negative consequences. Sometimes, we need to face hard truths which are the key to achieving success with our programmes. We have to face these hard truths to change the habits that caused us to need this surgery in the first place.
You want REAL positivity? Use the feedback, both positive and "negative" to take your surgery further and achieve your goals!

I am so sorry for the negativity you've felt.
Conversely, if another poster "comes at you" in a negative manner, you've only emboldened the person by lashing back at him/her. You've just informed the poster that he/she got to your head.
Internet trolls love to spread negativity. They love peoples' meltdown reactions even more. Don't give them the satisfaction of letting them see you sweat. Just ignore...
Also, some people interpret bluntness as negativity. A blunt, no-nonsense post is not always synonymous with negativity. Some people only want warm, fuzzy responses that reinforce their bad choices (e.g., "You ate a whole pizza? Don't you worry 'bout a thing. Everything's gonna be alright!").
Good luck to you, and again, don't let people see you sweat.

Yeah, how dare I care about other people. If only I could be a sociopath like you, not have any care about how my actions affect others.

Well, considering you're an abusive troll who likes to insult and pick on people, I can see why you value your anonymity. After all, it is a shield that protects you from any sort of consequences for the horrible things you say about others. Whereas, I believe my lack of anonymity means that I will remain accountable for my words.

It certainly doesn't feel real, but I have met people that obtuse before.

Not to mention that unlike her, you actually have a photo in your profile.

What you class as lacking a spine may just be the knowledge that they don't want to engage with someone as insufferable as you. Considering your aggressive attitude thus far, it does wear on me too but I have the fortitude to deal with people like you.
That's what you seemed to laser focus on. Your allegations make no sense and you just seem to be trolling.

Where did you say someone couldn't participate? When you started bullying people FOR participating when they didn't have a higher education in psychology. I have seen no behaviour from @jaminator that could be construed as him "attempt[ing] to assert [his] 'manhood' on women who have no desire to know them". If I did, I would likely join you in your criticism but I do not see your point. You would need to cite evidence to substantiate your claim and thus far, you haven't provided any.
Considering your usage of the word "following" in this thread thus far, I have serious doubts about the veracity of your statement.
Again, I cite your previous behaviour on this thread against you. Yes, by your bullying and antagonism against anyone who dares to espouse an opinion you don't like, it has the effect of making people feel unwelcome. While you have no authority as an administrator of the forum to make a formal decision of someone's rights of participation, your behaviour has the effect of alienating participation from this forum.
Hey, some people don't want to engage with your drama. In fact, I would say most people don't. It is frustrating, but I am able to and willing as I don't want your bullying to go unanswered. I do not tolerate bullying.

No, you didn't say ONLY but you ACT like it and actions speak louder than words. Your actions make no sense unless one assumes that you want to piss and moan at people and bully them for not having an education in psychology, never actually addressing the arguments made. It's difficult to grasp because your actions contradict your words. Do you not understand that here on a forum open to the general public, there won't be experts in your field?
Okay, so maybe your program isn't to blame - it's a personal failing attributable to you and you alone. I apologize for besmirching your programme. At my university and even in my college, there were people like you who lacked humility and a willingness to understand and work with others. I think that's even a larger problem at the oldest and most prestigious universities. Though, I didn't see this at L'École polytechnique, but this is probably due to it being a grande école and you have to pass your bac with distinction to attend. So, it's unfair to blame your programme for your failings and I apologize.
... I know the feeling. Yesterday, when I got the good news I could progress to soft food, I've thought about getting a soft taco from Taco Bell. A single soft taco. And halve it for both my Snacks. There is nothing saying you can't have Taco Bell after surgery, you just have to be mindful about it. Like all things. There was an article in the WLS Magazine section of this site about fast food which should be an interesting read.
Don't feel discouraged, there are still those of us who feel that straight talk is the best course for those of us who consider that it is OUR responsibility to make this surgery work.
Funny, I've found @jaminator's comments to be insightful and interesting.
Okay, I'm going to say this as simply as I can:
THIS IS A PUBLIC FORUM.
Anyone can participate.

My point exactly which is why I asked why you quoted and replied in the first place.

I havent been on this thread in 13 days because the crazy train went off the rails. THen you show up. Common denominator??

Why would i ever want to force myself onto you? I dont even know who the hell you are. Delusions of grandeur I guess...