OutsideMatchInside

I live in a completely different area of the country than you do. I also know exactly what kind of man I want. I have cultivated my habits to streamline the process. The kind of dates I want and the kind of man I want is specific to my needs and desire. I'm making a blanket statement that reflects my opinion on what I think is a boring date that I won't even accept anymore ever.
I have a lot of dating options, I could book 2 dates a night for weeks if I felt like it and had the free time. I have to create a process to weed people out fast.
I am self employed and my time is very valuable. Any free time I have is time I choose to turn into free time. I can literally work every waking hour of the day and make money. So a date has to be worth my time.
I cannot get to know someone in a Coffee house. I have hired lots of people and I am great at conducting interviews but a Coffee House date is just an interview. I would rather evaluate someone doing an activity so I can get a better gauge on their personality, temperament and problem solving skills.
Anyone who isn't an idiot can pass the HR interview, a coffee house date to me is the HR interview. Just sitting in at a table not much is going to happen, maybe a waitress is going to come by once or twice and you can evaluate how they treat the server, and maybe see if they know how to tip, that's it.
An activity it the technical interview and that is where people always trip up. If they can't find a parking spot, how do they react? If someone bumps into them, how do they react? Are they kind to people they don't have to be kind to? If we do something competitive and I win, how do they react. If we are being active can they keep up? If I can't keep up with them being active (those dudes with long legs) how do they treat me? In a museum, do they actually know the arts? Are they well traveled? (anyone can fake these things with direct questions but not in an active environment) Can they appreciate a play? Even one with low production values (like a HS play)? Shakespeare in the park is going on (and free), do they know this play? Can they understand this play? What is their favorite play?
The level of creativity of a first or second date says a lot about a persons personality and their compatibility with me and most of all how serious they are. I am a very adventurous and high energy person. I'm also aggressive and assertive. I'll run circles around someone that can't keep up. Been there done that and don't want to deal with that kind of resentment.
If I was still just looking for someone to hang out with, then coffee dates or whatever wouldn't matter. I am, well was, looking for a real true match and they have to meet certain criteria.
I've run across too many middle aged men he want to sit in the house and do ???? I have always been a person that likes to be out and about and active, even when I was a whale. I want someone plugged into to what is going on and what s happening that likes to be out and do things. A guy like that doesn't drag you to a Coffee House, someones boring ex-husband does.

I went to Dr to complain about a rash. Dr said it was weight related, gave me nothing. Went to a dermatologist, got a cream and it was gone in a week. After months of suffering.
Too many doctors see fat and stop caring.

Your sign should be that you had your measured/weighed portion. You can't really depend on your body to tell you. Once your body signals you, you aren't full you have over ate.
There are a lot of threads about this if you use search, but...
It varies by person. Some people get a running nose, some hiccups, burping.
Early on the nerves are not reconnected (your Dr should talk to you about this but a lot of them aren't that good and don't), so you can't depend on feelings from your stomach. Also like I said before, by the time you get the signal to your brain you have over eaten.
You do not want to depend on feeling full long term.
It is a recipe for overeating and regain. You need to learn to eat proper measured/weighed portions and being satisfied with those, so long term when you can eat more, you don't.
Example I can eat 6 ounces of steak before I get stuffed, but a proper portion is 3-4 ounces (not just for sleevers but for everyone, people are not eating proper portions). 3-4 ounces will satisfy me for hours, and provides enough Protein. If I just relied on my feeling of fullness I could over eat a proper portion at every meal.
Creating good habits in the very beginning makes it easier to follow them later on. Right after surgery your tool is working the hardest to support your good choices. As time goes on and you heal and have more capacity and less fear of food, you will have less support from your tool, and will have to depend on the good habits that you have built over time.

I'm not sure why people are acting like chicken wings are the devil in this thread.
The only issue I have with chicken wings is they are a pain to track, and you can't really track them accurately.
There seems to be an idea that people can't tolerate things, and honestly that is pretty rare. My opinion on that is it is based on one, a lot of previous WLS patients that were old, and already in bad health and had RNY. Then when you add in people that had lap band and all the issues that came with it, there is this idea that eating is hard, it isn't.
A sleeve is really just a small stomach, so unless you had some other issues before, you are still going to tolerate almost everything. Which is why as sleevers, nutrition and life long changes are very important.
I eat chicken wings because it is fattier white meat and basically the only way I can tolerate chicken. Chicken breasts are too dry and painful to eat. As long as they aren't coated in mounds of flour they aren't an issue.

My experience with Blur Cross was great. They approve very fast they have a streamlined system.

Men never admit they have small penises up front or say anything about their shortcomings when naked. Why should I handicap myself when men don't.
I've never had a man be like oh girl let me warn you, I don't have a 6 pack!
I don't disclose anything about loose skin and no one has ever commented on it once. I don't hide the fact I have lost weight, but men I date don't even ask me about it or care. They know I'm active.
I've lost a lot of weight. Even though I look good in clothes, you can look at me and tell I used to be fat. The arms are a dead give away. They already know what they are getting into before I take my clothes off.

Dude, don't date a packers fan. You are better than that.

@Walter.Sobchak
It isn't too big. You are binge eating on sliders/liquids.
Do you have a therapist? You really need to work on the root cause of your food addiction.
There is no way to make a sleeve small enough to combat food addiction.

@xoxococojay
That was the issue I had with low carbing before surgery. I would always eat too much even though my carbs were low, my portions were nuts

Sometimes it comes from jealousy but the longer I have been on this path the more I realize most people are straight up clueless about what is actually healthy.
Most restaurants make 12 ounce steaks the norm, but that is 3-4 times the amount of steak you should eat at once. 3-4 ounces of steak is not a barbaric portion, that is a proper portion size. That is what everyone is supposed to eat. That is why is so annoying when people whine about only being able to eat a little bit for the rest of their life. No, you will actually be eating how everyone else is supposed to be eating. We are a society of gluttons and gluttony is encouraged at every turn.
When you eat right around people that eating wrong, fat or skinny they know already they are eating wrong and you eating right it makes them self conscious. The more weight I lose with more results, people look at how I eat, everyone gets pizza, I get a chicken Cesar salad, and eating the toppings off a piece or 2 of pizza, everyone gorging on pizza looks at how I eat. Not because it is so different but because it really isn't terrible, especially to get the results I have. So now people are thinking, wow why can't I do that? How people feel about you losing weight is really complicated and they may not even know why they are in their feelings.
Having your fat friend go healthy is just like having your party buddy get married or give up liquor. Now you lost your partner in crime. Not eating with your fat friends is the same thing.
I was lucky post-op that I lived in a new area, where I did not know anyone. I never had to worry about how anyone felt because I never saw anyone for more than a few hours at a time. If I treated myself the every 2 to 3 months I hung out with someone I knew it didn't matter. My macros were still fine, and my idea of a treat is different than most people.
I suggest people distance themselves from people they enjoyed their old habits with until they really have a good handle on their new lifestyle. Just like any other addict.

I can see male only on the app. It is in the male only forum. People post all kinds of stuff in the wrong forum.
Her lecturing post was completely out of line. A young man asking about the function of his penis is perfectly fine. The broads with PCOS post all over the forum everywhere about their baby dreams and no one says a damn thing to them. Maybe he wants to be a dad and hopes surgery will improve his chances.
Women always pop in the male forum giving unneeded advice but men rarely pop in the female forum. Just because women are the majority on the forum doesn't get them the right to be bullys. If he wanted to ask other guys if his knees are going to be sexy that is his business.
No one asked for her Mom opinion. Just because you are old doesn't mean a 24 year old isn't an adult.

I would say he is full of crap because doctors are pretty universally against you adding zinc as a supplement unless you need it.
So if he said if you have Hair loss, come in, we will do a blood panel and check if you have any nutritional deficiencies, that would make sense.
We are supposed to have our blood work checked anyway but adding supplements without a need can be harmful. Not to mention you can't take zinc and Iron together, so you have to work a schedule out for taking them.

@mxpxchik11
I would listen to the Dr. I am not sure what kind of practice you are going to, but the one I went to has a shared dietitian. The information in the book and what the dietitian said are not the same as what my Dr said. He actually gave me a separate sheet that he just gives to his patients on how he wants you to eat.
Every Dr and Surgeon I know on a personal level (friends, family friends) all eat Paleo/Keto/Low Carb. If your Dr is telling you below 25 grams, follow their advice. It is honestly very easy to do anyway, if you are just eating Protein and veggies.
Your dietitian is right about eating more meals and getting your calories to 1000, you want to get your calories to 1000-1200 ASAP so you aren't stuck eating under 1000 calories forever.
At that stage I ate 5 times a day, and I still eat 4- 5 times a day now at almost 2 years so I can meet my protein goals.

If I have to plan a date, I can just make a date with my friends, people that I actually know and I already like. Instead of leading a middle aged man by the nose. I expect to be courted or it isn't worth my time.
Think dating one month post-op you are creating a lot of your own problems. If you waited until 6 months, you could eat enough what you eat or don't eat on a date would be a non-issue. Men are used to women not eating a lot on dates, especially first dates.

I didn't date at 1 month post-op, I would actually suggest people wait until they are over a year post-op but I understand hormones make that hard to do.
If you wait longer you can eat more and there is nothing to explain about your eating habits.
The idea in dating is to find a match. You shouldn't have to lead someone by the nose to get them to like what you like.
OP do you have in your dating profile that you are active and you like to do active things? I had that in my profile and it helped weed out a lot of guys. Most of the guys I met are high energy and active like me. If they aren't they can't really fake it, although some try.

Well if they are asking me out, I assume they want to spend time with me. If they don't then that is fine too, my dog is better company than most people and better dressed.
The kind of men I date aren't the kind of men that don't take charge. If you can't tell by my posting style, I'm pretty aggressive. I need someone more aggressive than me or I will be bored.
I work for my self and have for a very long time and I usually date men on that same level, and that comes with a certain personality.
I get that you are disappointed in your dating life and having a hard time, but I'm not going to be your online punching bag because you are bitter you can't get a date.

I kind of judge guys on the kinds of dates they take me on. If I'm not asking, I shouldn't have to plan. If a guy can't come up with a good date that allows me to actually get to know him and he isn't trying to impress me, there is no future in the relationship.
I'm saying it like that because I want someone that is active and likes doing activities and doesn't plan dates that revolve around meals, which is boring to me. I was like this with dating before surgery. I want to do an activity so I can make a judgement on their personality. dinner is too easy/boring.
Anyway, I like concerts and outdoor events. I get to evaluate how they act in public, how they react to crowds, if they will protect me and treat me like a lady, how good they are with parking and other things. Basically I can see how the act under slight pressure, early on, without having to date them and waste my time.
Also you kind of can't plan a date for a man because you don't know their finances. How creative they are with a date tells you a lot about them.

If I have to plan a date, I can just make a date with my friends, people that I actually know and I already like. Instead of leading a middle aged man by the nose. I expect to be courted or it isn't worth my time.
Think dating one month post-op you are creating a lot of your own problems. If you waited until 6 months, you could eat enough what you eat or don't eat on a date would be a non-issue. Men are used to women not eating a lot on dates, especially first dates.

I didn't date at 1 month post-op, I would actually suggest people wait until they are over a year post-op but I understand hormones make that hard to do.
If you wait longer you can eat more and there is nothing to explain about your eating habits.
The idea in dating is to find a match. You shouldn't have to lead someone by the nose to get them to like what you like.
OP do you have in your dating profile that you are active and you like to do active things? I had that in my profile and it helped weed out a lot of guys. Most of the guys I met are high energy and active like me. If they aren't they can't really fake it, although some try.

Men never admit they have small penises up front or say anything about their shortcomings when naked. Why should I handicap myself when men don't.
I've never had a man be like oh girl let me warn you, I don't have a 6 pack!
I don't disclose anything about loose skin and no one has ever commented on it once. I don't hide the fact I have lost weight, but men I date don't even ask me about it or care. They know I'm active.
I've lost a lot of weight. Even though I look good in clothes, you can look at me and tell I used to be fat. The arms are a dead give away. They already know what they are getting into before I take my clothes off.

They aren't looking to date, they are content with their lives.
You get a dog because you are looking to meet people. Dogs are the best ice breakers.
A cat chick is in the house with her bottle of Trader Joe's wine and a bowl of popcorn.< /p>

Men never admit they have small penises up front or say anything about their shortcomings when naked. Why should I handicap myself when men don't.
I've never had a man be like oh girl let me warn you, I don't have a 6 pack!
I don't disclose anything about loose skin and no one has ever commented on it once. I don't hide the fact I have lost weight, but men I date don't even ask me about it or care. They know I'm active.
I've lost a lot of weight. Even though I look good in clothes, you can look at me and tell I used to be fat. The arms are a dead give away. They already know what they are getting into before I take my clothes off.

This book is a good place to start so you can understand the science.
The Art and Science of Low Carbohydrate Living: An Expert Guide to Making the Life-Saving Benefits of Carbohydrate Restriction Sustainable and Enjoyable https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005CVV2AE/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Bus7ybP5P45SW

Just like WLS understanding the science behind it makes it easier to understand, follow and make the right choices.


/r/keto on reddit is a great place to start. I am just going to warn you. Keto is a commitment just like WLS. It isn't a diet it is a lifestyle and a way of eating. If you stop eating keto and go back to carbs the weight will pile on. Keto is not some fad diet you can follow for a little while drop weight and go back to eating trash. If you can't commit to it for life, there is no reason to even start.
Keto replaces carbs with fat to keep you satisfied and once you are keto adapted your body runs on fat.

@tiffany44641
I have been a low carber, Keto person off and on for about 16 years.
I would lose weight but plateau and I didn't understand stalls so I would quit. I also had a Portion Control issue. People in the keto community feel like you can eat without portion control as long as it is high fat.
Being sleeved helped me control my portions. In the beginning when I was healing I just followed a normal low carb diet.
Around 6 months when I was healed, I switched to keto. Personally I feel like if I didn't switch to Keto I would not have lost this much weight. I would have topped out at about 100 pounds lost and bounced around like most WLS people.
Just as importantly eating keto has allowed me to maintain my looks. I have lost 182 pounds and I look very young and healthy. I do not look sickly. My face looks amazing. Keto is great for women because the fat is great for your skin. If you look in keto groups the women that keto almost glow.
I am a strong advocate for Keto. If you can portion control you can lose a lot of weight on keto. If you can't portion control wls is a great option to help you with that. The sleeve has helped me with portion control and made making the right food choices easy.

@tiffany44641
I have been a low carber, Keto person off and on for about 16 years.
I would lose weight but plateau and I didn't understand stalls so I would quit. I also had a Portion Control issue. People in the keto community feel like you can eat without portion control as long as it is high fat.
Being sleeved helped me control my portions. In the beginning when I was healing I just followed a normal low carb diet.
Around 6 months when I was healed, I switched to keto. Personally I feel like if I didn't switch to Keto I would not have lost this much weight. I would have topped out at about 100 pounds lost and bounced around like most WLS people.
Just as importantly eating keto has allowed me to maintain my looks. I have lost 182 pounds and I look very young and healthy. I do not look sickly. My face looks amazing. Keto is great for women because the fat is great for your skin. If you look in keto groups the women that keto almost glow.
I am a strong advocate for Keto. If you can portion control you can lose a lot of weight on keto. If you can't portion control wls is a great option to help you with that. The sleeve has helped me with portion control and made making the right food choices easy.