KindaFamiliar

Happy Poop Day!!!!

4MRB4PHOTO You, my friend, are a sick, sick man... "Human sexual partners"??? What's wrong with you?? I assume you're one of those weirdos who's never even tried a camel... You sit there passing judgement on something about which you know nothing!!! Next thing you know, you'll be mocking a very special friend of mine who has a thing for little horses!! Admittedly, it's not a 'thing' thing... But it's a thing nonetheless... Anyway weirdo... I've got things to do... There's a Llama farmer down the road who has just purchased a beyoootiful litl... Oh... Ummmmmmm... NEXT!!!!

Don't you worry about me finding you...If you want THAT stuff done, it's gonna cost... The doctor says - Start saving your money.. Quality costs!!!! NEXT!!!! Wow you charge a lot by the sounds of it for a minute..... better get out the penny jar... If I hadnt taken the Hippocritical oath to give a sh*t and stuff (you know, the doctor thing), I'd be all up in your grill regarding your disrespectful jibber-jabber... But I have... So I'll not... NEXT!!!!

jinty, jinty, jinty... You really are 27 kinds of special aren't you... None of them particularly good... Anyway, I'll address your queries in order... Have just started a rant thread and come back to this one and I have now got snot flowing out my nose because I snorted with laughter. This thread is costing me a fortune in loo paper (for blowing said snot out when laughter has stopped!). Use your sleeve... Or someone else's sleeve... Not the sleeve that removed your gizzards... The arm of your shirt... Or the curtain... You get the drift... can you tell me if I can suffer from Water damage? Yes I can... Yes you do... But water damage is the least of your problems when it comes to damage... But you know that, don't you... Not one of my dogs has even got out of our bed yet but I am now feeling guilty that it is 9.41 and I haven't got up to take them for their walk yet. Don't feel guilty... If the dogs REALLY wanted to go for a walk, they'd get their hairy arses out of bed and walk... I have to drag my hairy arse out of bed each morning and fend for myself, why should't they?? Do you think that if this weather continues my staples and my hip replacement might suffer from rust damage. If this is the case what is your suggested course of treatment? I think I can solve your rusty staples problem... I have another vict patient who happens to be 'pooping staples' at the moment... I'm not sure how good her aim is but she seems to be serious about taking her 'pooping' to the next level... I'll get her people to call your people and you can do lunch... Or not... I don't care... And as far as water on the hip goes - you simply require a tap on the thigh.. (it's an oldie but an oldie).. NEXT!!!!

Don't you worry about me finding you... If you want THAT stuff done, it's gonna cost... The doctor says - Start saving your money.. Quality costs!!!! NEXT!!!!

Hello CowgirlJane... Nice to see you here... House calls you say? Hmmmmmmmmm... Interesting concept... I think it's worth looking into... Tho I think it could get expensive, what with all the travel and such... But the again, I'm worth it!! House calls are ON!!!! NEXT!!!!

Look at you go CHM... You're good people... You can be my people...

What else needs to be said here? We have a post which contains the following - Snot Laughs Knickers Thwacking Arse.. Now THAT is a Saturday night... NEXT!!!

Not until he's messed with you for some time... NEXT!!!!

Poor, poor midvishon... Going off half-cocked... Speaking of which, I was just speaking to... Oh... Nothing... NEXT!!!!

Why are you eating staples?? They were not in the "allowed" foods factsheet my NUT gave me AussieGirl81... If you want to ask questions, you direct them to me... Otherwise... Well... I'm not sure... But whatever it is, I'll mean it!!! NEXT!!!!

Hi TheRealMeIsHere, Just one question - What the absolute f*ck??!?! If you're pooping out staples, I hope that you've at least been eating them!!! If you've not, you really do have some problems... Unfortunately, I know of no solution to your problem (you freak!!).. I can, however, think of a practical solution - If you have some sort of 'control' along with a VERY good aim, you could possibly get yourself a job at some sort of magazine printing establishment. I can see you now, squatting over the new edition of 'The Watchtower' or 'Hustler' (this is a very sad reflection of my youth), aiming carefully and theeeeennnnnnnn - RELEASE!! Of course, you'll need to keep your energy up. And you may also need to invest in some arse cream... As it happens, I have some left over from a previous experiment, which shall remain unnamed.. Look at me go... Solving the world's problems one freakshow at a time... NEXT!!!!!

@ Your nickname is "beer with a straw"?

Beer... With a straw... And pizza... Not really... I don't drink beer... Best way to stay cold can be stated in four simple words... Fro Zen Mang O That is all...

That's the spirit!!

That's no good @@daniotra As it happens, I wasn't going to offer nookie. And let's face it - if nookie is what puts you to sleep then there's a fair chance that you're doing it wrong!!! When I can't sleep, I find that listening to music usually helps... Try something like Coldplay or The Script... The music they release would bore the paint off a wall!! If you can't sleep after listening to that crap for half an hour or so then you've got all sorts of problems!!! Good luck with the sleeping... And with the boring sex!! NEXT!!!!

Well aren't you making quite the grand entrance to the conversation @ Not only are you talking to me whilst pooing, you're also talking boobs and foreplay with the beautiful @@CHM This young lady happens to be my favourite person in the world... So with that in mind, I trust you'll treat her well... Now, to your query - It's my theory that, as you expel your waste, you subconsciously feel the need to replace it. And as everybody knows, when it's time to talk sh*t, you come and see the doctor.. Not just any doctor... THIS doctor!! So tell your family and friends... Shout it from the rooftops... For the best sh*t, you come talk to Dr KindaFamiliar!!!! NEXT!!!!

@@CHM or me?

Hey! All I did was ask a question like eeeeverybody else! Don't engage her @@CHM She's a bad egg... A bad apple... She's the rough end of the pineapple... The short straw... Oh sh*t... I said straw... It could have been worse... I could have said she's the "stretched sleeve white bread carbonated drink 'non-teller' day three pizza eater"... But that'd be too harsh... Or would it??? Hmmmmmmmmmm... NEXT!!!

Hi krakow57, you strange little thing... My first thought was simply, drink tea... Actually, that's a lie... My first thought was "Don't pretend you're a spitter krakow57. You're a swallower fro..." Well, you get the idea... So yes, you could start drinking tea... Or, you could move to a country where they don't have a sense of humour.. I have a few suggestions... But I think i'll keep them to myself at this point... As far as your second question goes (pushy thing, aren't you..) I think if you REALLY want to stop the laughter, stop looking at my naked selfies page... NEXT!!!!

Hi Valentina Percocets? Another made-up word... Life is certainly better than the alternative... NEXT!!!!

AussieGirl81 Just to clarify, I'll not be servicing anyone... My offer is strictly advice-related... Despite being a gorgeous lump of beefcake, I'm not a stud bull whose 'gear' can be offered around for a price... I'm a man with feelings... I may be brilliant and well advanced in many areas compared to you commoners, but I also have hopes and dreams just like the rest of you... Mine are just better... And more attainable because I'm far superior to you all... Now regarding your offer - If I ever require such services, I'll certainly keep you in mind. As it stands tho, I'm quite sure that after tomorrow, this thread will disappear into the great abyss that is the interweb, never to bee seen until, in 2023, someone accidentally stumbles upon it, 'likes' a post and allllll this sh*t starts again... Now, if you don't mind, the Sunday Footy Show is on soon and I've things to do... NEXT!!!!

Ahhhh, the beautiful CHM... I was hoping you'd make yourself known... No, not because you're a medical mystery... More because I think you're pretty cute and I like your face! Thank you for your kind words. Tho I can't tell if you're flirting with me or patronising me... Either way, I'll take your attentions... Now, your question... Yes, yes you are... Crazy I mean... And in my non-expert opinion, you're likely crazy in love!! You see, that voice you hear is NOT from inside your head. It's coming thru the earphones that you have in there. The earphones are connected to your phone.. And as you're ALWAYS on the phone to your boyfriend, it's likely HIS voice you're hearing.. Next time it's happening, let me know and we can work our way thru it in real time.. Or Facetime... Or Facebook... MySpace... Instagram... SnapChat.. Twitter... Have I gone off track? I dunno... Oh right... Your voices... Yes, you're nuts!!! NEXT!!!!

Hello there jenn1... There are a number of possible answers to your question... 1. Yes, yes it is. 2. No, it's the waist band of my underwear thwacking against my right buttock... 3. Turn around and see for yourself 4. Rubber? I don't use no stinkin' rubber.. If you can't find an answer you're comfortable with in that lot, let me know and I'll do some more research (that means make some more sh*t up)... NEXT!!!!