Thinside

Just had someone who was rude to me when I was on Match.com a couple of years ago ping me Match yesterday, and wanted to know if I was interested in meeting. She didn't realize we had already met, but this time she said said she liked "fit guys who took care of their bodies." I still think she was a b*tch, but I'll take the compliment as an NSV.

Finally being able to wear a pair of boots that fit over my calves! Oh, and size 6 skinny jeans

In the past, when I went to amusement parks, I typically didn't go on rides out of embarrassment that I felt people were looking at how I barely squeezed into a seat for a ride or even worse, being told I can't ride a particular ride because of my weight or the restraint system won't properly close (that happened twice, I was more embarrassed for my children to have people looking a their Dad like that).
Well, not yesterday. I went to the amusement park with my children and went on many rides including ones in the past I would never have been able to fit properly into the seats or weighed too much to ride.
For the first time in many years, I did not feel like people were staring at me because of my weight.
Although to be honest, I was nervous on some of the rides before I went on them that the restraint system may not close all the way and I will need to get off the ride.
This is only one of many NSVs I have experienced since losing weight. I look forward to the new ones every week.
Please share yours.

I am stunned that anyone would think a public site on the internet would somehow be private!
A quick poll: How many of you found out about this site in the first place by Googling something related to WLS?
I know I did. And I'm SO grateful I found it! If it was private, I shudder to think how much knowledge and real peoples' experience I would not have access to!

This is from the mayo Clinic, which many people recognize as one of the leading, if not THE leading, medical institute in the country:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/water/art-20044256
Note the sentence at the bottom of the page: -- "all fluids count towards the daily total."
Besides, just looking at it logically, why wouldn't fluids other than Water count? Fluids that we drink are made up mostly of water. Milk is over 90% water. Water doesn't become magically not-water and non-hydrating if you stir some Crystal Light in it or steep a tea bag in it. Water doesn't become non-water if you add some flavor and color and freeze it and make it into an ice pop. Things like almond "milk" are just water with some almonds strained through it. Again, it doesn't miraculously change into a non-hydrating substance if you add some Protein Powder to it.
Also, unless your family are MD's or Registered Dieticians with expertise in managing bariatric surgery patients, you should feel free to completely blow off everything they say with respect to your post-op nutrition, exercise, etc. I wouldn't even waste my time arguing with them. Tell them you aren't interested in their unsolicited opinions and just refuse to engage with them when they try to tell you what to do.

No, not to my knowledge. Any Fluid is fluid; you may not want to count anything with caffeine (if you're drinking tea and coffee) as they are diuretics. Also, we're not supposed to drink soda after WLS. But as far as I know, any Fluid qualifies -- it's about hydration.
In fact, I read that the entire "64-oz of fluid a day" thing is all based on a misunderstanding. The original study (from 1945) recommended 64 ounces of fluid a day, then went on to say that much of that will come from foods. But over the years that has been misinterpreted to mean 8 glasses (64 oz) oz of Water a day.
Here's an interesting article on this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/25/upshot/no-you-do-not-have-to-drink-8-glasses-of-water-a-day.html
That said, my doctor told me to drink 64 oz of fluids a day, so I do! But I count broth, milk, v-8, etc. In fact, after my surgery, I no longer like the taste of plain Water, which used to be my favorite drink by far, so I add Crystal Light and Protein powder to it.
I do think it's always best to follow the doctor's orders (unless you're convinced and have good evidence that your doctor is wrong, and then I would seek out a second and third opinion.) Hope this helps with your family!

Benjamin Franklin said some very interesting things about keeping secrets.
"Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead."
"If you would keep your secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend."
"To whom thy secret thou doest tell, to him the freedom thou doest sell."
"Let thy discontents be secrets."
And heard this from a pulpit once, "You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell everything you know."
Your mate was wrong to betray your trust. If you don't want to tell anyone, you should not have to. You will know with your "knower" when the time is right to speak up. I agree that distancing oneself socially from saboteurs and negative Nancies is the best thing you can do to maintain peace of mind.

I have told one person and one person only: My husband. I love my family, but they tend to be know-it-alls and busy bodies, and I just don't want to deal with having to defend my decision or my eating choices for the rest of my life. The people at work are also great folks, but very gossipy and close-knit, with lots of the skinny women constantly advising everyone else on food choices (while nibbling on cake and chocolate all day themselves).
This is my body, my health, and my business. As @@gobeit notes, it is a medical decision, and I feel no qualms at all in keeping my medical history private.
I was worried, too, about eating at work, but so far no one has noticed a thing. I've said I'm dieting and watching my carbs, both of which are true. I eat cottage cheese, V-8, Soups, tuna in packets with low-fat dressing. We have had a couple of meetings where boxed lunches were ordered. I didn't eat the bread. Said I was doing low carbs (which is true!) which everyone understands, and it was no big deal at all.
I am getting my emotional support from my husband and other support on this website. I rely on my doctor's office for medical advice, but check here daily to see what other people's experience is. I've found this tremendously reassuring and helpful.
So, do whatever is best for YOU, but do give it serious thought. Once you've told a few people, the choice of keeping your medical history private is no longer yours.

I'm keeping mine a secret as well with the exception of my SO and potentially my kids once I get much closer to surgery day. I don't even feel like I can trust my Mom with the information.
As I've matured I find that I need the approval of others less in order to feel validated. That being said, I really don't want/need others opinions regarding my health choices. I don't want others re-telling versions of my health choices either. I think we all know that folks who haven't spent time in our shoes can be quick to judge or comment on something they can't possibly understand. Even those with the best of intentions can hurt or make you second guess yourself.
I've considered this step for two years now. I know what I want. I don't think there is anything wrong with keeping such a private medically founded decision solely your own. I only worry a bit about support at times but I feel like this is my life style change to make, not everyone else's. I have to figure out how to make my way in this new lifestyle. I would love to hear what others are doing for support if they aren't telling family and/or have weak support systems as that will be something I will need to prepare myself to deal with...

Yep, and I had RNY and got the stricture. The picture they gave me from the endoscopy is AMAZING! Seriously, it was a tiny pin hole left open. I don't know how anything was getting through.
@@bellabloom - I am glad you are seeing a therapist and working through all this. I hope you didn't hear judgement in my tone at all, because it certainly wasn't meant that way. I too know that I will struggle with this. I was just saying to my sister that while I know the scale says 75 pounds down, and I know I am thinner (I can see it in the mirror, not just in my clothes), but it is still very difficult to comprehend. Mostly that I am down 75 pounds and still am as big as I am. Just keep seeing that therapist and talking about it. You are a beautiful girl! It will click someday - I'm just sure of it!
But please, get the stricture taken care of. I truly understand you not wanting to have one more procedure, but as I am sure you know, it truly only takes like 10 or 15 minutes of being under and then it is done. You do not want to end up unhealthy. That completely defeats the whole purpose of the surgery - which was to get healthy. If you are not keeping in your nutrition (which you are not if you are vomiting protein), then you will lose muscle mass, bone strength, all kinds of things. The "ideal" number on the scale just isn't worth that.
I will stop nagging and leave you to decide on your own now, but just please keep in mind that HEALTH is your number 1 priority. Please do not become a sad statistic of this gift we are given with WLS.

Good luck sweetie. I hope you figure it all out. Keep us posted!

I do see a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. I had one before I had wls and it's still something I am dealing with. I don't want to look anorexic, I don't want to look skeletal, but the fear of regaining and the relief I feel when I see my weight go down is hard to deal with. I've had an eating disorder for years so it's not surprising that it's still an issue.
For me the surgery was a must, I had crippling back and foot pain and my weight was escalating like crazy. I was eating out of control and I was going to continue gaining. I knew that this surgery could trigger my eating disorder and it has. Anyway, hence the therapist.
I know I need to get more Protein and less carbs and I really want to stop throwing up. I'd like to live without worry and get to a place where I can eat and enjoy and not worry.
This is a physical journey for us but also a mental and emotional one. It's a journey I am on to try and find balance and health and happiness.

The FEAR of regain is real. I get that. In fact, just this morning (before reading this post), I was thinking I needed to talk to my therapist at my next appt on Tuesday on how to beat this. We have talked about it before, and she just keeps reminding me this is one day at a time. Fear has controlled my life for WAY too long and I have no intention of allowing it to continue. I want to enjoy a new healthy life, not be in fear of losing it. That is no better to me than the trap of this unhealthy body and running to food for comfort that I have lived in most of my life. This journey is about becoming a new healthy person - mind ad body, not about a diet and getting skinny.
Eating disorder is also very real. We can easily shift from overeating to undereating. Do not fall into that trap. Please go see a therapist.
FYI, stricture occurring this late is unusual; however; it can occur. There was someone else that just posted in the last week or so about getting a stricture at 18 months out.

@@bellabloom
Get your stricture fixed. The idea of the surgery is to get healthy and continue to eat and be healthy, not to see how skinny you can get. You can't possibly feel well at this point when you can barely eat protien and when you do eat certain things you throw them up. That's no way to live. Go talk to someone about your fears about gaining, too. They can help you navigate through getting to a healthy point in your maintenence process.
It's time to take care of yourself.

I always have to laugh to myself when someone who is at goal or below basically is proclaiming the beginnings of or already have a full on eating disorder and posters are always like "Wow you look great! Keep up the great work!"
Enjoy the restriction?? She has a STRICTURE that keeps her from eating properly for God's sake!
SMH

Go get the second dilation! I had 2 about 1 week apart and I cannot even begin to express how much better I feel. You are potentially losing nutrients if you are vomiting. You will still have restriction. You just won't have food backing up in to your esophagus. You are at goal which is amazing! Get this physical complication behind you so you can focus on eating a healthy diet and not fear of what you can keep down. I understand you are tired of this! No wonder if you have been dealing with this so long! I'm just 3 months post-op and was tired of dealing with it so I can only imagine how hard it is to be so far out and dealing with it. So very sorry you have had so many issues but Girl, you made it to goal which is to be celebrated! You did that! You can absolutely make good choices once you are healthy. Best wishes! Hugs! And promise you will call Monday to schedule your next dilation. ????

I can't really offer any advice bella but just wanted to say try to not to get hooked up on liking how restricted you feel. You are probably feel tired because you aren't getting the nutriants from food, that you need to be getting. I really hope you and your Dr can resolve this so you can start feeling better and have more energy. Perhaps some therapy would help? Best of luck
~~Hugs~~

This is a very good comment. Definitely a voice of reason.
To give a little bit more information. Apart from being obese and having 100 pounds to lose, and having obesity for my whole life time, my only medical issues are low thyroid and mild sleep apnea which is well controlled. I have actually spend years working out and exercising, have worked very hard at good nutrition, but none of that has helped me lose weight. I have logged my food choices by taking pictures of many of the meals I make and eat. I was off work this summer and spend everyday exercising between 1 and 4 hours per day. Didn't lose any weight and I am so frustrated and so after considering surgery for a very long time have decided that will be my only other option. I have worked very, very hard at trying to lose weight and it seems like the only thing that will do it is being on a highly calorie restricted diet and I think the only way I can do that long term is by having weight loss surgery. Anyway, that is a long answer but just to say I do not have medical or psychological problems that would counter indicate surgery. I just have a PCP who has seen complications in some of his patients and so he is cautious.

I think people should stop making assumptions that the OP's PCP is absolutely wrong about bariatric surgery in this case. We do not know all of the details of the situation and bariatric surgery may not be the best immediate option in this case. It blows my mind how much negativity towards this doctor is generated instantly since they didn't immediately jump to the requested treatment. It is definitely possible that the PCP is ignorant of the benefits of bariatric surgery, but isn't it also possible the OP is not the right type of candidate for surgery at this time?

Well, thank you Elode, et al. This is certainly a timely topic for me. I'm only 5 weeks out and I haven't lost a huge amount at all yet. (Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with where I am.)
But last week I started getting dizzy every time I stood up and had horrible fatigue. I thought it might have been a sinus infection. But reading this, I'm going to really watch out for this. I've always had somewhat low blood pressure. I hope the sleeve hasn't made it worse!
I, too, have noticed it might correspond to when I'm hungry or haven't had enough fluids. I'm going to start logging it when it happens and try to correlate it to my food and Water logs. ( I take a multi-Vitamin, Iron, D, Calcium, Biotin, and B-12 every day, so I suspect it's not a Vitamin deficiency.)
Thanks for this useful topic!

I tried phentermine bad ended up with A Fib for the rest of my life .. that medicine is like speed and my heart started working overtime .I only lost about 30 pounds and do not recomend this to anyone

@, I know! They should be all about promoting health, and helping the people who pay their salaries through premiums become as healthy as possible. But sadly too many of them are just about the bottom line, in the most short-sighted way possible! They don't even seem to care that people who go from obese to fit and slim, cost them LESS in the long run, in spite of the surgical costs.

I know it happens, unfortunately, but I was lucky. I started with a 45 BMI and ended with a 39 BMI, and I had no issues. They used the BMI that you started with for final determinations, and we were encouraged to lose as much weight as possible throughout the program.
If only all insurance companies operated this way.

You know, bashing is bashing whether it's someone's opinion or behavior, when we slam them publicly we're only inviting controversy and argument, name-calling and general hatefulness. This is a public forum and everyone has a right to an opinion. It can be frustrating for people who are dealing with it in ways they feel are correct to constantly see others' seeming willfulness to insist on doing things known to possibly be harmful. The OP shouldn't be bashed but neither should anyone who gave an honest opinion, even if it seemed harsh or even unhelpful.
One of our greatest resources is each other and respectfulness is the obligation of everyone, even you and even me. I think it's f****ed up to hurt people with harsh and discouraging words but name calling is just as ugly. Let's give each other a little room and just ignore what is unhelpful. I don't think anyone had bad intentions.

Wow, being mean to people who acknowledge it isn't all sunshine and lollipops for them is a little f***ed up! It's a daily struggle to get to a place of comfort with the changes. Please reach out to people who will give you some understanding and ignore those who are being hateful or self-righteous. Your choices maybe could improve but it seems your a little lost with it right now. If I can help in any way please let me know.
Peace