Chianti

It’s been 18 months since my surgery, and I am a work in progress. I recently posted about the decision to have the sleeve. See, “Down Over 140…The Decision: Fears and Tears” Now I want to write a bit about the emotional changes that I personally had to go through. Maybe some of this will ring true for you, too.
As I contemplated this entry, I struggled with what to tell you, a complete stranger, about my process. Finally, I decided to be honest, so that you could know in your heart that if it’s possible for me to change, it is also possible for you.
I still think about food all day, every day. I so wish I didn’t, but I have come to know that I am a food addict, and I have to treat it like an addiction.
I grew up the oldest of 6 in a poor family. When I was 12, my dad left and my childhood instantly ended. Alcoholism, mental illness, chaos. That was to become my family life. At 18, my stepdad committed suicide. When I was 20 I was raped. When I was 21, I joined the Army. When I was 22, my brother committed suicide. When I was 28, my two-month old baby girl died. I struggled with anxiety attacks. I developed a life-altering auto-immune disease.
There were good things, too. Love. My other beautiful daughter. My sister—who was my best friend, my soul mate, my rock--we went through everything together. Getting my college degree over a period of 20 years! Getting promoted. Writing. Photography. My home. Friends.
But always, there was food…my constant companion. It never failed to nicely anesthetize me.
One night, just before my surgery, I was watching a weight loss show where they were talking about how you MUST deal with the issues from your past if you are going to succeed. I don’t know why this struck such a chord this time, but I really began to think about the girl I used to be and all the fear I still carried inside me.
It hit me like a tidal wave! I cried for the girl whose childhood abruptly ended at the age of 12. I cried for all that had been done to me. I cried because I had been so powerless. But then I realized with real clarity that I am no longer that powerless child! I had succeeded at everything I had truly worked for! I had a great job, and would never be dependent on anyone financially again! I had even learned to be assertive.
That night, I spoke to that little girl inside me. I made a promise to her. I told her that she would never be a victim again. That she was no longer powerless. That I was going to take care of her forever.
But could I do it without food?

One of the best things I did for myself was to line up an appointment with a therapist for one month after my surgery. Although that person did not work out and I ultimately found a therapist who specializes in addiction, it was such a comfort to me to have a support system in place. I haven’t gone to her more than a few times, but she is an anchor for me, and I know she’s there.
As I said in my previous post, my beloved sister died in my arms on December 28th. I had postponed having my knee replaced to take care of her, and I foolishly thought I’d be doing well enough by the end of February to get through it ok. Well, I wasn’t. March was one of the bleakest months of my entire life between the physical pain, drugs, bad weather, isolation, and grief.
So how did I get through it? How else? I ate. Ice cream. candy. Cookies. Let me tell you right now, you can put down a lot of calories every day in 100-calorie increments. That is why you need to know beyond a doubt that what they say is true: They operate on your stomach, not your brain.
So I spent March crying and eating. And then one day, as I was sobbing to my husband about my out-of-control eating, I wailed, “The worst part is, I’m letting myself down!”
“I’m letting myself down.” I could not back away from this statement.
I called my therapist to discuss the grief/eating cycle. She let me off the hook, saying, “Sometimes you just have to be in survival mode.” I got off the phone and thought about that a lot and realized even though I had been given permission to eat badly, eating badly no longer felt like my authentic self. For the first time, I knew that I had truly changed.
The old me believed that self care meant whatever felt good. The new me knows that self care can never equate to self destruction. The next day, all the junk food left the house.
I’m still sad. But I am empowered. I am not a victim, even of myself.
If you've hung in there through this long post I hope you'll leave me feedback and share your own story. In posting this, I sort of feel like I'm running down the street naked!
Soon, I plan to post on some of the logistical things I've found to work for me since my surgery. More practical! Less emotional!!

People are killing police officers. Police officers are scared and some are trigger fast. Terrorists are gunning down people in nightclubs and running families down with trucks. College campuses are under attack, high schools are using metal detectors.
Innocent people are losing their lives around the world because of senseless hate.
Yet here we are, on this forum, worried about who is eating crap, drinking and smoking four days post op? People are fighting about straws, about carbonation, about f'ing popcorn? People are pointing fingers, cyber stalking, name calling, accusing, getting defensive, cursing at, reporting, conspiring against... All because they don't "like" someone they never met?
I'm not crying innocent, I'm certainly no angel, but I am tired. In light of all that is happening in this world, is a post that can easily be skipped, or a poster who can be ignored, really worth all this nonsense?
Personally, I'm done. Have at it, folks. Do what you want to do. Live your life, eat what you want, ask for advice and love it or hate it, take it or leave it. It's your choice.
While you're doing all that? Hug your kids, call your mother, text your best friend, smile at a stranger, give a homeless guy a gift card for a meal, take Cookies to a neighbor, pay the toll of the lady behind you...
Tell your loved ones how much you care about them and take a minute to care about a stranger, too.
Spread a little love. Please.

Looking at my journey over the past decade-plus, I can see the fallout from my terrible mentality of weight loss at any cost. But, really, at what cost? At the cost of my sanity? At the cost of my self-esteem? At the cost of my health?

People say you have nothing if you don’t have your health, and as I get older, that truth can no longer be ignored.


When I had my roux-n-y gastric bypass surgery in 2005, my goal was to lose weight. Specifically, I wanted to lose 225 pounds.

At just over five feet tall and 343 pounds, I was super morbidly obese. Those are the facts, but what is also true is that my weight has been the bane of my existence for my entire life. Or, at least, since I was about three years old, when I first realized that my weight fell on the less socially “acceptable” end of the spectrum.

So, yes, weight loss was the goal I set for myself, but what I see now is that all I really wanted was to slip into the spectrum of acceptability enjoyed by women who wear single digit jeans. It was about fitting in. It was about not standing out. It was about being “normal.”

At no point was it ever really about being healthy.

In the two years after my surgery, I dedicated my days to working out and eating as little as possible. Ultimately, I lost 201 pounds. It wasn’t the hoped for 225, but I was a size eight - victory, right?

Not exactly. Even at a size eight, I struggled with body acceptance. I still felt like a fish out of Water and worse, I couldn’t seem to sync up with the woman in the mirror. I had a new body, but I didn’t feel like “me” anymore.

And worse still, I didn’t feel healthy. Sure, I’d lost 200 pounds. By all the usual measures (and certainly by societal expectations), I was “cured,” but I felt sick. My energy was low, my sleep was all over the place, and I was incredibly frustrated by a diet that seemed barely sustainable for any length of time.

That diet piece was my fault, of course. So determined to lose the weight, I worked hard to hit my daily Protein goal, even if that meant I consumed hard boiled eggs three times a day and literally nothing else. For much of the past 11 years since my surgery, I’ve been riding a roller coaster. I’ve lost and gained weight over and over, the pendulum swinging back and forth and my emotions following. I have suffered serious Vitamin deficiencies and still struggle to disconnect guilt from the simple act of eating. In this state of mind, it’s been easy for me to sacrifice overall well being for short-term gain, or in my case, loss.

Despite the fact that I didn’t really feel that great, it still took a while to realize why. When weight loss was the goal, I needed only to focus on the aspects of my new life that supported it: protein, calorie counting, and obsessive exercise.

Health has been the missing piece all along.

Focusing on my health has required a total turnabout. It means that I’ve had to reevaluate my goals. I’d lived so much of my life with oversimplified ideals: thin equals good, fat equals bad. The reality is more complex, as it so often is.

Looking at my journey over the past decade-plus, I can see the fallout from my terrible mentality of weight loss at any cost. But, at what cost really? At the cost of my sanity? At the cost of my self-esteem? At the cost of my health?

People say you have nothing if you don’t have your health, and as I get older, that truth can no longer be ignored.

Today, I am 89 pounds heavier than my lowest post-op weight. Typing those words makes the old me cringe… I feel waves of embarrassment, shame, anger, frustration, and the ever useless guilt.

The new part of me, the one I am working to healthfully feed mind, body, and soul, feels hope. I feel hope because I remember the young woman that weighed 138 pounds, and I know that I was less healthy standing on that scale back then than I am today in my double digit jeans. This new woman I see in the mirror still wants to lose weight, but as a byproduct of a healthy life.

Health has become my personal mission. I wasted a lot of time hating myself to obesity and then hating myself thin. My plan now is to love myself healthy. To do all that I do in the pursuit of weight loss and health with kindness to the woman in the mirror, no matter how she looks.

If any of what I’ve written resonates, I hope you too can break free. My wish for you is that as you walk your own path, you keep your eyes trained on your health goals and not simply on the scale.

Weight loss surgery is supposed to be the final answer to obesity. Ideally, you use your sleeve, band or pouch as a tool to help you lose weight, and that tool continues to keep you in check as you maintain goal weight.
But that’s not always the case. Many Weight Loss Surgery patients find that losing weight is easier than maintaining weight loss. You may already have some hint of that if you were a long-time yo-yo dieter before surgery.


So why is it so hard to keep the weight off, and what can you do about it? It can be harder to keep the weight off than lose it in the first place because:
You might gradually be less strict with your food choices as the occasional treat becomes more frequent and bigger.
Your restriction may not feel as, well, restrictive as it did right after surgery.
Your metabolism is slower and you don’t need as many calories as you did before.
You don’t have the motivation that comes from seeing the scale go down as a reward for your good eating habits.

But a little challenge doesn’t have to get you down! After all, you’re a WLS patient, and you’re in it for the long haul! Here are some things to think about as you are losing weight, approaching goal weight, or even working on maintaining your goal weight. This is just Part 1 of the two-part series, so stay tuned for Part 2!
I Hate Counting Calories!
Yes, logging your food can be tedious. Some people even find that counting calories makes them anxious or causes them to fixate on food. Maybe immediately post-op you could skip the calorie counting and still lose weight because you had so much restriction. Maybe, in the beginning, you forced yourself to log foods for a few weeks or months.
What if, when you’re at or near goal weight, you can’t face the thought of counting calories? You still have a few options that can work.
Go back to the meal plan you got from your surgeon or nutritionist and stick to it. If it says ½ cup of oatmeal, it doesn’t matter whether you know how many calories that half-cup contains. You can be certain that if you follow the plan, your total daily calories will add up to the amount in the plan.
Log once a week. This can help you stay on track as you make sure your portion sizes are still working out for you and you are choosing the low-calorie, high-protein foods you think you are.
Focus on another nutrient, such as Protein. If you hit your target grams of protein, stick to small portions, and make sure all of your protein and other foods are the nutritious ones you’re supposed to be eating – think lean Proteins, vegetables, and healthy fats, for starters – you have a good start towards eating the way you should.

Carbs Are the Devil!
Maybe it’s carbs, maybe it’s sugar, maybe it’s pizza, or tacos, or ice cream that you avoid in your weight loss efforts. Whatever it is, there’s a good chance you’re trying to avoid it as you lose weight. Weight loss surgery patients can be tempted to go low-carb, paleo, or sugar-free. That’s fine, as long as you can keep it up long-term.
If you can’t, you’re setting yourself up for a rough time. What happens when you hit goal weight and you flip a mental switch in your head? What if you go from low-carb to letting Cookies, bread, and Pasta back into your diet? What if you go off paleo and find all sorts of processed foods that are delicious and convenient? What happens next time you come face to face with an order of chicken wings and dipping sauce for the table?
You may be better off planning for a diet that will work long term. While you are still losing weight or while you are early in the maintenance phase, take inventory of your feelings. Be honest about what you can and cannot live without, and develop a plan to address it. Then practice!
These are some possible ways to approach your food fears.
Think “healthy, portion-controlled carb” instead of “low-carb.” Aim to get in healthy carbs such as oatmeal, lentils, fruit, sweet potatoes, and yogurt rather than avoiding all carbs.
Consider the good and bad of the paleo diet. While the guidelines to avoid processed foods and refined sugars can’t hurt, it really necessary to avoid nutrient powerhouses such as Beans (think: protein, Fiber, and potassium)? And is it really possible to avoid all processed foods for the rest of your life? What happens if you run short on time? A good strategy may be to get in the habit of reading labels so you develop your ability to choose healthy (or at least, “healthier”) packaged meal helpers.
Make up your mind about trigger foods. Are you the type who can be satisfied with one potato chip when you get a craving? Or are you best off avoiding the chips altogether? Is there a similar substitute, such as kale chips, that can work for you? If you’re not sure, experiment so you know how best to handle cravings.

Maintenance has its share of challenges, but you can overcome them to be able to experience all the joys of hitting that goal weight you dreamed about for so long. Just like you did when you were getting ready for weight loss surgery and losing weight, you can take a carefully planned approach to maintenance that considers your own preferences. Stay tuned to Part 2 of the two-part series!

I went through the process by myself. Here are some of the things that I did:
- Prior to surgery I exercised on a daily basis to get in the best physical condition that I could.
- I looked at what foods I would be eating for the first few weeks after surgery (the RD provided a list of foods) and I bought enough food for about a month.
- I got rid of food that would not be appropriate after surgery - refined carbs, fried foods, etc.
- Arranged for a ride to and from the hospital.
- Arranged for some one to walk my large dog for a few days after surgery.
- Attend WLS support group meetings sponsored by my doctor/hospital.
- Hang out on this forum.
- Log all food in My Fitness Pal.
- Exercise daily.
You can do it.

I'm post-op from the Richmond Bariatric program, and had my sleeve done several years ago. I lost most of my excess weight the first year, and the next 2 - 3 years were relatively easy to stay on-track. Last fall, I began to get cocky and started letting the bad habits return. Slowly at first - a bit of bread here, some chocolate there, and sure, why not some chips while watching TV? I felt a bit invincible, as I was pretty sure I was staying under 1,500 calories everyday. Maintenance numbers, right?
Nope.
Luckily, I've never stopped weighing myself a few times a week and slowly found the scale moving up. It was only 8 lbs, but I'm 4'10! 8 lbs is closer to 14 on my frame. I laughed it off and began lowering my cals to 1,200. I figured the lbs would just melt back off.
Again, nope.
Over the last 6 months I've driven myself crazy trying to get back to my low weight. I lost 5 lbs eventually, but have discovered that 1,000 - 1,200 seems to be my maintenance. It leaves no room for error if I want to eat enough to feel healthy but not gain.
My point is that getting cocky and thinking I'd permanently won the battle was a learning lesson. I won't do it again.
I thought I didn't need post weight loss support. I was wrong. I'm considering getting involved in a local support group but not sure that any exists anymore. I'm a life coach, however, and would be happy to start one.
Just wanted to share and jump back in here. This forum has always been amazing.

I picked this up at my band surgeon's office yesterday. Thought I'd share:
Plastic Surgery - Surgery performed by a Plastic Surgeon to modify and change the appearance of an individual. The emphasis is on the change of one's appearance and no actual plastic is used for most of the operations.
Brachioplasty - This operation is performed to improve the appearance of one's upper arms. Excess arm skin is removed after weight loss. This operation is usually performed after all the weight loss has been obtained and is done under general anesthesia on an out-patient basis. This procedure is considered cosmetic in nature and is not covered by insurance plans.
Mastopexy - This operation is performed to improve the appearance of the breasts. This is an operation that lifts the breasts, changes the size and location of the nipple and aureola, and gives a firmer and more youthful breast. This operation is performed after weight loss has been obtained and is done under general anesthesia on an out-patient basis. This procedure is considered cosmetic in nature and is not covered by insurance plans.
Breast Reduction - This operation is performed to reduce the size and weight of one's breasts and to improve the shape of the breasts as well. In this operation there is a reduction both of breast tissue and skin of the breasts. This operation is performed under general anesthesia on an out-patient basis. This procedure is covered by many insurance plans but does have a minimum amount of breast tissue that must be removed. For this reason, one may have this operation performed before all of the weight loss to assure qualification for insurance coverage. Consult a plastic surgeon about this operation if needed soon after weight loss surgery.
Abdominoplasty - This operation, also referred to as a tummy tuck, is performed to remove excess skin and fat from one's abdomen. This operation is performed under general anesthesia on an out-patient basis. This operation is considered cosmetic in nature and is not covered by insurance companies. This operation would be considered after your weight loss is complete.
Panniculectomy - This operation is performed to remove the excess skin one has on their abdomen that hangs over one's pubis after significant weight loss. This is a medically indicated operation to improve the health of the skin on the abdomen that is frequently infected under the skin. This operation is performed under general anesthesia on an out-patient basis in most circumstances. This is a medically indicated operation and is covered by most insurance plans. This operation would be considered after your weight loss is complete.

This is going to be long so if you don’t care about the story part, skip to the bottom for the numbers.
I never thought I would be here, post-op from WLS surgery, especially a surgery that removed most of my stomach but here I am, and I am thrilled to be here.
I grew up in a healthy, athletic family, really athletic, at the Professional level. We had healthy food and some not so healthy comfort food, but always real food in the house. I was always athletic, but slightly overweight growing up. Then in college, I started to yo-yo. My weight would change between 20 and 40 pounds. Then I had a baby, BOOM. I gained 70 pounds with the pregnancy and never lost it. I started working with Tech Startups in the dot com era and we had all the perks. Free food, free alcohol, all day every day. I moved up the ladder and with all the five star hotels came high calorie free meals. Extensive business travel meant eating out 5-6 days a week 3 times a day. On the days at home the eating out continued because I was so exhausted from the work week.
I was healthy with low to normal blood pressure and not diabetic most of this time. I was a healthy fat person for a long time until I wasn’t. I was active. I exercised, I could walk circles around even my thin friends in a mall. Then 10 years ago, diabetes. It was easily managed with pills and diet, so it didn’t create drastic changes. I never took it very seriously because I was never really extreme in my high sugars. Then about 4 years ago it seemed like things took a turn, I could never lose more than 20 or 30 pounds. My ability to exercise and be active seemed to diminish. Carrying all that weight was finally catching up to me and my body was breaking down and suffering. Then last year, high blood pressure came. After taking high blood pressure meds for 2 weeks that made me sleepy and made it almost impossible to run my business. I decided to have WLS.
I had researched and looked at WLS for years. I read WLS forums and talked to people, but always talked myself out of it. I finally decided that even if I died on the table that was better than dying slowly. So I knew I was ready. I went through the process very quickly. Almost not trusting myself to drag it out and I felt a real necessity to get the weight off quickly. I went from my first visit with the surgeon to surgery in 8 weeks. BCBSIL was wonderful and the whole process was fast and easy for insurance approval.
Another deciding factor that WLS would work for me, was because the post-op diet was something I was already familiar with. Low carbing? Sign me up. I had been an avid low carber off and on with varying levels of success for years. I realize now that the reason I was never successful was I gave up in stalls, but with the sleeve there is no giving up during a stall. I have always enjoyed low carbing because for me it makes my mind sharper, it is like doing coke or Adderall (no, I have never done either but I have been told the experience in great detail multiple times from multiple people). I have never viewed it as a punishment but a perk.
My issue prior to surgery has always been Portion Control. I skipped meals, focused on work and then would be ravenously hungry, and consume a whole days plus worth of calories all at once, or maybe in 2 meals. Even low carbing and eating healthy I would eat huge amounts. A 12 to 16 ounce ribeye is 900-1300 calories.
I was lucky to have an uneventful, rapid and easy recovery. I had very little pain, went back to work as soon as I came home (I work for myself), and stopped taking the pain meds within 36 hours of surgery. I met my Protein goals after the 2nd day. I eat all of the foods I enjoy, just in small quantities. I was lucky in the sense I never ate or liked a lot of the things that people have issues with giving up post-op. So I don’t have issues with avoiding them. I gave up sugar years ago to try and control my diabetes. I gave up alcohol for the same reason. I was already years out from either of these things when I had surgery so I didn’t have to give them up post-op.
Okay that is by backstory and how I got to the point surgery and why I felt it would work for me. This is where I am now.
Numbers
The weight I have on here is the weight when I first went to the Dr. It is not my actual highest weight.
HW 377
SW 358
CW 231
Total weight lost 146, 134 since first surgeon visit, and 127 since surgery.
Inches lost
Measurements in Inches
Bust (fullest part of bust):
20
Pecs (just above the bust line):
15
Ribs (top of rib cage just below the bust) :
21
Waist:
25.5
Abdomen:
22
Hips:
17
Right Upper Thigh:
8.5
Right Lower Thigh:
9.5
Left Upper Thigh:
8
Left Lower Thigh:
10.5
Right Calf:
2
Left Calf:
2.25
Right Upper Arm:
6
Left Upper Arm:
5.5
Total 172.75
I wore a tight size US Womens size 28 plus and a comfortable size US Womens size 30 plus. Now I wear a Misses 14/16 I am almost to a 12.
I have boundless energy to match my personality. I am so active in my everyday life in big and small ways. I don’t hurt all over anymore at the end of the day like I did before. I thought that was natural, because I had been so heavy for so long, I didn’t think there was a different way to feel, I thought that was norm. Now I know the difference. I feel like I have taken 20 years off my age.
So that is my story, if you read it all, thanks. I hope it can help someone. Obviously I am still not done. I need to lose at least another 50 pounds and once I get there I am going to evaluate and see if I want to lose another 20 or 30. I never thought that would be an option, to get my weight that low, but I think now it is a possibility.

What a difference! I am still a long ways from goal, but can now get in 5,000 steps a day, walk a mile without stopping, get through a day without sweating, look at myself in the mirror without flinching, and generally enjoy life, even though I have about 160 left to lose!

I agree!!! I am still about 10 pounds from my goal. I know if I worked a little harder I could make it. However, a few weeks ago I decided to "live like I was a goal",and to focus on non weight related goals. It has been wonderful. This Thursday night I am going to a Pole Dance fitness class- something that I would never have done before. Also this weekend will be my first ever camping trip and kayaking. I still want to zip line and go to a Water park this summer and then all my short term goals will be met and I can make new ones. Chasing after the perfect number on a scale isn't near as much fun as chasing after a fun filled life!!! Good topic.

The weight loss surgery journey is easier for some than for others. That’s true not only mentally, but physically as well. Some patients are confident as they get the surgery, follow their prescribed diets, and lose weight until they approach their goal weights.
But most have doubts at some point. Those doubts can be strong especially in the first few weeks after surgery.


I see this lack of confidence time and time again in the forums. Weeks or a month after surgery, gastric sleeve, gastric bypass, lap-band, and other Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) patients start to wonder whether Weight Loss Surgery was the right choice. Most often, they are disappointing in the number of pounds they have lost, and they wonder, “Am I going to be the Weight Loss Surgery patient who fails?”
I can say this with confidence: If you follow the Weight Loss Surgery diet, you’ll lose weight.
“I’m Not Losing Weight Fast Enough!”
That’s a common post on BariatricPal. The poster is usually a week or a few weeks post-op, and worries their weight loss isn’t fast enough. They think their “slow” rate of weight loss means Weight Loss Surgery didn’t “work” for them. They think they will never be able to lose significant amounts of weight, since WLS was a last-ditch effort to lose weight and get healthy after years of dieting didn’t work.
But in most cases, these fears just aren’t true. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying these fears are unreasonable. I understand them perfectly. I, and probably every Weight Loss Surgery patient, wondered whether it would work for me. And the answer for me, and for everyone who followed their Weight Loss Surgery diet, was “YES!”
The Perfect Storm for Frustration
So why the panic? I like to think of the first few weeks or even months after weight loss surgery as a perfect storm for generating doubts. It’s a time when the following are true.
You realize you have made a decision that led to a change to your body that is irreversible (in the case of sleeve gastrectomy) or meant to be permanent (in the case of the gastric bypass), or
You realize a lifetime commitment to changing your eating habits and lifestyle is a pretty big deal.
You have not eaten solid foods for weeks, or even more if you had a liquid diet for long before surgery, and it’s getting you down.
You are struggling in your daily life as you try to make time for exercise or you find your family members continue to eat junk food in front of you.

All that is enough to get anyone down before you even start thinking about the reason you got the surgery in the first place – to lose weight! If you doubt you’re losing weight “fast enough”, you might start wondering if you made the wrong decision when you got Weight Loss Surgery – and that’s a depressing thought.
Crunching the Numbers
Almost without fail, the BariatricPal member who posts about disappointing early weight loss is losing weight quite quickly. The only person who is disappointed in this number, typically, is the member him or herself. I’ve seen members post with concerns about losing “only” 20 pounds in the first month, or “only” 10 pounds in the first week. Guess what. That’s great!
Think about it. A general round number for great first-year weight loss after Weight Loss Surgery is 100 pounds. That’s an average of 2 pounds a week, or 8 pounds a month. If you lost 20 lbs in your first month, you’re doing fantastic! To hit 100 pounds in your first year, you won’t even lose a pound every three days! So don’t worry if the scale doesn’t plummet every single day. If you’re eating right, you’ll lose weight.
Try to keep yourself motivated by keeping it all in perspective. Another motivating thought is to consider how long it took you to gain the extra weight. 5 years? 10 years? Your whole life? And now you have a chance to lose it within 1 or 2 or 5 years? That’s a pretty good bargain, right?
Recovery Now for Weight Loss Later
Now, I know you’ve prepared for Weight Loss Surgery for a long time, and you’re eager to lose weight. But really, you’re not quite ready to focus on weight loss if you’re still recovering from surgery. It’s far more important to heal properly. That’ll help you lose weight faster later and avoid complications that’ll set you back, not to mention cause possibly serious health problems.
So, no matter how frustrated you are, stay positive, and focus on following your surgeon and nutritionist’s instructions to the letter. Continue to eat a liquid diet and then pureed foods without cheating and sneaking in solid foods. Use this time to establish a pattern for your long-term success. Learn to measure your food, and to set aside time for food prep and for exercise.
Weight loss surgery is a lifetime adventure, and that realization can really hit hard in the early days and weeks post-op. You can get through this tough period by focusing on one day at a time and not worrying about your rate of weight loss. Measure your success not by the scale number, but by how well you stick to your plan.

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Hey BariatricPal Members!
We’re heading into the longest days of the year, so it’s a great time to take advantage with some morning or evening walks and healthy barbecues. I hope this newsletter finds you making progress in your WLS journey, thinking about your summer goals, and maybe planning a little summer vacation! Here’s what you’ll find in this newsletter.

The Weight Loss Surgery Journey: A Test of Patience Member Spotlight: Meet RogofUlm! Strawberry Recipes
Enjoy the newsletter, then share your own recipes and whatever else is on your mind at BariatricPal. Thanks for sharing your summer with us!

Sincerely,
Alex Brecher
Founder, BariatricPal

The Weight Loss Surgery Journey: A Test of Patience
You’ve worked hard to get to this point. You’ve researched your options for surgery, chosen a surgeon, figured out your finances, completed the pre-op tests and diet, and gotten surgery. You’ve done a lot…and you’re only just beginning.

You’ve followed 1 or 100 diets before, but weight loss surgery is different. It’s not a month-long commitment. It’s a lifestyle. That’s what makes it so challenging. WLS patients who are just starting to realize this can easily get discouraged, but that’s normal. The solution is to be patient, whether it’s with the scale or with your diet.

Yes, You’re Losing Weight Fast Enough!
A lot of WLS patients secretly hope the pounds will melt off and they’ll be skinny in a month. It doesn’t happen like that, but if you’re following your diet to a “T,” you’re losing weight fast enough. You may be losing 5 pounds a week, or 1 pound a week, and it’s good enough. It may take a year or more to hit goal weight, but so what? As long as you’re eating right, you’ll be stronger and healthier every day.

Don’t Jump Ahead in the Diet Plan
Feeling good about your diet? Have you been able to get through the first days or weeks following the liquid and pureed foods stages of your WLS diet without much pain or discomfort? Are you wondering if it’s okay to jump ahead in the diet progression, maybe add in semi-solid (soft) foods or a greater variety of foods a little bit ahead of schedule?

We say…don’t do it! That’s great you’re feeling so good, but don’t take it for granted. Keep doing what you’re doing so you can keep feeling good. If you jump the gun, you risk:

Developing intolerances unnecessarily. Developing complications, such as delaying recovery from surgery. Slowing weight loss later if you develop a complication.
Of course, ask your surgeon or nutritionist all of your questions, and let the experts have the final say.

Member Spotlight: Meet RogofUlm!
This month’s spotlight is on RogofUlm from Germantown, Maryland. This gastric sleeve patient lost nearly half of his body weight, and is now a svelte 143 pounds with a BMI of 23.1. Rog agreed to be in our member spotlight and was willing to write up his own feature, which follows. This is the shortened version, but you can find the complete version in the Share Your Story forum.

I went on my first diet at the age of 7, and sometimes feel like I've started a new diet every Monday morning for the last 48 years. I've done 'em all – from a 40-day hospital stay in 1974, to Weight Watchers (3 times), Diet Center (2 times), Jenny Craig, Nutri-System, Atkins, South Beach, Cambridge, Slim Fast, Fen-Phen, grapefruit and egg, and even self-starvation. I've probably lost close to 1,000 pounds throughout my life, including three or four nearly 100-pound losses. And after all that, at the age of 55, I still found myself 110 pounds overweight; with diabetes, apnea, asthma, arthritis, high cholesterol, and borderline blood pressure. With a wonderful wife and 10-year-old child at home, I was a heart attack or stroke just waiting to happen.

So why was I able to lose weight so effectively at times, but never keep it off? Same as most people, I guess. When fully committed, I could “flick the switch” in my brain and resist anything… for a while. I'd lose a bunch of weight and start looking and feeling better, and then I'd be at a party with lots of goodies and think, "What the heck. I've done so well, so I’ll treat myself just this once and get right back on my diet." Hello, slippery slope! And then the cycle would begin again. That “switch” doesn’t always stay flicked, you know?

Then, 20 years ago, I lost a bunch of weight and maintained it for quite a while. But then I had some surgery and even quit smoking in the process. Great, right? Yeah, but after that the weight started coming back on, and eventually I gained about 50 pounds. So then I bounced around between 60 and 100 pounds overweight until I got married and we had a baby. Of course, during the pregnancy I gained 40 more pounds of "baby weight". But unlike my wife, I never delivered mine!

So that brings me to the more recent past, when all those years of being overweight finally caught up with me and I began getting all the "fat diseases”. Before my surgery, I was taking daily injections plus pills for diabetes, sleeping with a CPAP machine for apnea, and taking fistfuls of pills every day to manage the other co-morbidities.

And that brings us to last year. In addition to all the diseases, I was exhausted and achy all the time, and had trouble dragging myself out of the recliner to play with my kid like I should. I'd take naps after stuffing myself at lunchtime, and exercise as little as possible. We all know the drill, right? And gradually, I got more and more disgusted with myself.

During that time, two of my co-workers had weight loss surgery: one bypass and one sleeve. Every day for about a year, I watched them get smaller and smaller. They didn’t keep their surgeries a secret, so when I asked about their experience, they graciously shared all the details with me – the good, and the bad. And gradually I got to the point where I said, “I WANT THAT!”

Once I decided to get sleeved, I went all-in. I followed all my doctor’s post-op rules to a tee (with the exception of coffee – my one remaining vice). But this time something was different from all those past diets. Because of the restriction in my stomach, instead of losing momentum and giving in to temptation, my new “tool” gave me the strength I needed to consistently make the right choices. I lost 110 pounds and made it to goal in 8 months. And in the two months after that, I lost another 10 pounds to give myself a comfortable buffer. I’m off all diabetes, apnea, blood pressure, and asthma meds, and after my next doctor’s appointment, I should be off the cholesterol meds too. So now that I’ve reached my final goal weight, I’m exactly where I want to be for the first time in my adult life; which, quite frankly, is a totally mind-blowing thought!

My big secret? Just follow the danged rules – all of them! (And mind you, I’ve been a rule breaker all my life.) If you do exactly what your doctor or nutrition program recommends, the weight will come off. After a month or two of making good (but difficult) choices, the cravings for the foods that got you to your pre-surgery weight will start to fade away, and the pride in your accomplishment will have a stronger pull than the food. That’s when you really get on a roll!

My philosophy has been that there’s plenty of time to learn how to eat for maintenance once I get to my goal weight. That way, if I add something back into my food plan and it causes me to gain a few pounds; I only need to re-lose those few pounds. I don’t need to lose them PLUS all the rest that haven’t come off yet. I also believe that we get a 9–12 month “honeymoon period” (when the weight comes off more easily and the hunger is more manageable), to get our heads in the right place for the long haul. I firmly believe that people who take maximum advantage of their honeymoon period are far more likely to get all the way to goal weight; and hopefully, to keep it off.

And now my theory will be put to the test...

Over the next few weeks and months, I’ll need to start experimenting with what works and what doesn’t. I’ll need to add back some foods that will stop the weight loss, without causing a gain, and without putting me back on the slippery slope. But what are those foods? My doctor suggests that if you want to increase your carb intake, to add only foods that you would eat cooked as part of a meal (like brown rice, whole wheat Pasta, sweet potatoes, barley, quinoa, oatmeal, and green peas). No white bread, pasta, rice, or potatoes, no refined sugar, no fruit juice, soda, or ice cream – and nothing that would tempt you to go to the fridge or pantry for a handful or bowlful as a snack. That sounds reasonable, so that’s what I’m going to try.

So how do I feel about my weight loss journey so far? Believe it or not… it’s been a total blast! And see, that’s another reason to follow all the rules and lose the weight quickly – the compliments, your reflection in the mirror, clothes that fit and look good, the extra energy for family and friends, and most of all, your new-found health, are a thousand times more fun and motivating than anything that could ever go into your mouth!

And here’s one final thought… Several months ago I ran into a woman I hadn’t seen for a while. She’d been thinking about weight loss surgery, but was afraid to take the first step. But when she saw the “new me”, she said the exact same words I had said a year ago, “I WANT THAT!” Well, a few weeks ago she got sleeved and she’s doing great! And that’s how this wonderful story continues…

I wish all of you great success, and a healthy, exciting, and fun journey to good health!!!

Thank you, Rog, for being in our newsletter and for writing such an inspirational and engaging bio! Congratulations on your success – you look fantastic! Don’t forget to check out Rog’s full story!

Let us know if you want to be in our Member Spotlight or if you want to nominate a member. Post your nomination in the Member Spotlight Forum or send Alex Brecher a private message (PM). You can be at any point of your WLS journey – you don’t need to be at or near goal weight. And, you don’t need to be a frequent poster on BariatricPal. We want to hear from all members!

For Dessert…Fresh Strawberries!
Strawberries are in season in late spring and early summer. If you get the chance, go strawberry picking at a local farm. It’s worth the effort. You can spend quality time with your friends or family, burn a few calories while picking berries in the sunshine, and get some of the sweetest and best strawberries you’ll ever taste.

Strawberries: The Good and the Bad
Then what? Strawberries are high-fiber, low-calorie, and naturally sweet. A cup of sliced berries has 53 calories, no fat, and more than 3 grams of Fiber. But don’t turn your strawberries into a high-calorie, sugary disaster. Here’s what not to make with your berries.

Strawberry shortcake, with 600 or more calories and 50 or more grams of sugar. Strawberry pie, with 350 calories per slice, before adding ice cream. Strawberry jam or Syrup, with 60 calories per tablespoon.
The Best Recipes
Need some healthier choices? Try one of these.

Plain strawberries. Yep, they’re actually really good! Think of them as one of nature’s fast foods. Sliced strawberries in your oatmeal or with fat-free cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, or ricotta. Strawberry pie with alternating layers of sliced strawberries, sugar-free strawberry Gelatin, and low-calorie vanilla yogurt. Top with non-fat or sugar-free whipped topping, optional. Strawberry Protein smoothie with strawberries, plain or no sugar added vanilla or strawberry Greek yogurt, skim milk, and a scoop of vanilla Protein Powder.< /span>
Strawberry Substitutes
Not able to eat strawberries? Maybe the seeds are a little much for where you are after weight loss surgery, or they’re too acidic for you? There are plenty of other fruits to try. Apples – fresh or cooked if you need them soft – are available year-round, and other summer fruits are coming in. Try peaches, nectarines, apricots, and the season’s first melons.

Of course, frozen fruit works fine, too. Just be sure to choose unsweetened varieties so you don’t get extra sugar without realizing it.

Be Patient
Enjoy the summer fruit if you’re able to tolerate it. If you’re not quite there yet, don’t rush it. Since fruit does have sugar, it can cause dumping syndrome, especially in gastric sleeve and gastric bypass patients. If your WLS was recent, you need to be careful to avoid peels and seeds – like those in strawberries – until you’re sure you’re completely healed. In the meantime, if you can tolerate it, enjoy peeled, soft fruit like ripe honeydew and watermelon.

Have a wonderful start to the summer. Good luck setting and working towards your summer WLS goals!

I just had my gastric sleeve done on 4/20/15 and it took 1 1/2 hours.

Sometimes I need to say it out loud (type it out loud?) to jostle myself into reality -- i.e., if I'm not losing weight could it possibly be the tub of buttered popcorn I was eating weekly? Hmm?
That said, IMO it's a choice. I don't think in terms of cheating. I'm only cheating myself by staying in denial.
As time has gone on since my WLS, I'm finding that I can make changes and stick to them, but incrementally. For example, pre op I stopped TV eating and have never gone back to it. Then recently I gave up the buckets of popcorn that were doing me no good. Last week I joined a gym. Doesn't sound like much, but each of these changes was a big hurdle and I had to be really ready for them. Once I was ready to make a certain change, I committed to it.
So no, not cheating. Every day, every action is a choice.

Every day I see new posts from people who feel guilty about "cheating". Some are coming clean about it or are embarrassed about it and amazingly enough, some seem to be bragging or feel empowered by it.
But is it really cheating?
I assume that most all of us are adults here. I also assume that most of us have had, are about to have or are researching WLS. We should know the dietary plan at this point (or there would be no "cheat"), and we should also know the risks associated with eating off plan pre or post op, yet every day people ask if what they are doing is OK and/or look for justification for their actions.

What in the world? It truly makes me scratch my head.
To me (and this is just MY opinion), there is no CHEAT. It's a CHOICE. I chose to have this surgery. I chose my surgeon because I trusted his skills and his knowledge. I chose to have sleeve over bypass or band. I chose to limit the amount that I can eat and drink by drastically altering my body. I chose to eat right 100% of the time on my pre-op (yup! not lying!) and I chose to eat right 90% of the time post op until my doctor said I was free to do otherwise.
I think it's FINE to ask your surgeon/NP/NUT questions if you think you are ready to do anything other than prescribed. I think it's OK to question their answers. I do NOT think it's OK to ask a bunch of strangers on an internet forum to justify choices that aren't good ones-- especially internet strangers who are or were in the same boat as you.
If you want to eat and drink at the same time, more power to you. If you want chocolate and bread and shakes and fries, have at it! If you lick a dorito or chew it up and spit it out, good for you (not really, but...)
I love the "coming clean", I love asking for support, I love asking for coping ideas. I just ask that you take a moment to ask yourself if you are truly cheating or if you are making a CHOICE to do something you should not.

Hello BariBrothers, BariSisters, BariFamilies, and general lovers of healthy, good food. My name is Smye and I live on a small farm in the Pacific Northwest.
During both pre and post op appointments with my nutritionist, I was horrified by the suggested things I could eat once I was back to 'regular foods.' The suggestions I was given were flavorless, full of preservatives & junk, and/or otherwise reminiscent of the american 'instafoods' that are, in my opinion, a huge part of the original problems. That said, I wanted to share some of the real, whole foods I've been enjoying lately without hurting my sleeve or deviating from the dietary guidelines provided to me by my NUT. I'm down 86 lb since I started this journey on Jan 22, 2015, and loving every meal as much as, or more than, pre-op.

I've spent the last 7 years accommodating good food to meet my partner's corn, dairy, and gluten allergies without losing any of the flavor or texture with 80% of all ingredients sourced from my own small farm, so it wasn't too big of a jump to make these recipes low carb, high Protein and delicious.

Over the next few weeks I'll be posting recipes like:

Bariatric BibimBop
Pho
Pastrami Sandwich
Madras curry with fried tofu
chicken tenders with sauce
Sushi - Philadelphia rolls in particular
Personal Pizzas
Smoked cherry-glazed chicken
Barbeque-smoked chicken
Ham and cheese omlette
Pickled duck eggs
Quiche
Ham, egg & cheese sandwiches
Bari-bread
Guacamole Cheeseburgers
And many more

There's no need for food to be tasteless, uninteresting, or questionable in it's contents. If there's something you'd like to see that's not here, please PM me and I'll do my best - I also make sure to try everything myself and feed it to my executive chef neighbor before I post it to ensure it's excellent!

The morning of surgery was the hardest part for me. As my wife drove me to the hospital I kept thinking, "I've lost as much as 130lbs the old fashion way before, and I can just say no to this surgery at any time. Why am I doing this?" Then I reminded myself that I had lost and regained for the last 20 years of my life (I'm 52), that there aren't that many elderly people that are morbidly obese, and that I want to be there 30 year from now ..."
I'm almost four weeks post-op and, at least for me, that drive to the hospital was the toughest part; maybe the first two days post-op. IT HAS BEEN WORTH IT! Four weeks out I feel AWESOME! Like so many others, you will be fine too! Just keep reminding yourself about all the benefits that will come from losing the weight.

(Re-printed from my Surgeon's website)
1. Your co-worker heard a strange noise and doesn’t bat an eye…knowing it was your stomach.
Patients often ask me why their new pouch makes odd gurgling noises. It could be too big of bites or eating too quickly. It could also just be your stomach moving around and making noises for all to hear
2. You have a space heater under your desk in the middle of July.
It may be in part to losing some “insulation” but many postop wls patients are colder than they’ve ever been using more blankets at night and space heaters to keep warm.
3. Your alarm just went off for the third time today to remember your next Vitamin.< /b>
While bariatric Vitamins have become much more simpler in recent years, it still takes reminders to get in your vitamins. Your family might even hear the alarm and hand you your calcium!
4. Protein is always first on your mind at your meals – it might as well be plastered inside your forehead.
Protein…protein..where’s the protein? Protein is what fills you up and keeps you full! You get the most out of your surgery when you focus on lean and solid protein sources.
5. Your waitress keeps asking if the food is okay. And if you’re sure you don’t want a drink.
When you can only eat an ounce or so, the wait staff may think something is wrong with the food. And what do you mean you don’t want anything to drink??
6. Your pants are barely holding on but you’re still holding off to go shopping.
Just make sure you don’t carry a heavy object and walk up a flight of stairs. At least not around anyone
7. Speaking of shopping, you still go to the plus sized section first out of habit.
It’s hard to wrap your mind around your new body. Leave plenty of time and stay patient with yourself as you find out what size your body is. Take a good friend to be your “runner” and someone to talk it out with.
8. You get overjoyed at the release of a new Protein Bar flavor…or a sale on your favorite Protein Bars.< /strong>
Quest® has a new flavor?!?!??! Ahhhhh!!!!!!
9. You rejoice at the small things like crossing your legs or getting a pair of boots that zip up your calves.
Some things you’ll never take for granted again. It may seem like nothing to others, but to you it’s something big.
10. You use lingo like “wls”…”bariatric friendly”…”pouch”…”vsg”…
You gotta know the lingo to be in the club!
11. You smile as you think of how far you’ve come and get excited to think of where you’ll be soon.
Patients wonder why they didn’t have their surgery sooner.

Are you looking for him to approve you? You have to do what is right for you. The family insurance that he has is also your insurance. If you need to have your gallbladder out would he have to approve that? You can tell him you are having the surgery and you would appreciate his support. Integrity is admitting that you need more help than exercise alone. Honesty is letting him know your plans. Respect is a 2-way street. You should ask him how can you respect someone who does not respect you. I think maybe you guys need some family counseling. Does he have a EAP program with his insurance? You can call them and get some help with counseling. Be brave stop crying and take charge of your life. If/when you have the surgery there is still a lot of work involved that you will need strength and determination for it to work. Maybe you could have him go to one of the pre-surgery informative meetings.

Sounds to me like your husband is getting off on putting you down. You need to get a job and become more independent..get your own insurance and do it anyway. I am almost 4 weeks post-op and there is no way this is the easy way out.

I just had my consultation with my surgeon yesterday, Doctor Crooms of Tallahassee, FL, and he stated to me that the normal weight loss from the Gastric Sleeve surgery is about 1-2 pounds per week. So you are right on track! Keep up the Great work!!!

From The Beck Diet Solution website for today.
March 19, 2015 - Think Thin Thursday --
If you think, “I can’t say no when [my friend] offers me food because I’ll disappoint her,” remind yourself that if you had a peanut allergy and she offered you something with nuts in it, you would never consider giving in. Losing weight/being healthier is just as legitimate a reason to say no!

It sounds like we're in a similar boat – 9 months out, down over 100 pounds, and feeling the hunger returning. So far I've been able to keep the beast at bay using two techniques. I hope they help you too.
Don't back down on the fluids! I keep my sleeve full with 120+ ounces every day by building the fluids into my schedule. It's harder to keep to the schedule on weekends, and that's when it gets harder. So it takes even more effort to get the fluids in, but it's worth it. All of my "cheat" Snacks are protein-based – Jerky, nuts, cheese, yogurt, sausage, etc. I don't worry about fat content or calories, just that there are no sugar/carbs. I know it's going to get harder, but I'm going to try and keep these habits going. Good luck! You know how to do this and you've already been wonderfully successful – so do it!

Have you ever caught yourself watching TV at night and feeling lonely, bored or sad? Your partner may be sitting next to you or in their favorite chair, but you get up anyway; making the routine trip to the freezer to fix a bowl of ice cream, which will provide the comfort you are craving. It may not be ice cream; your comfort food may be a bag of Doritos, a pizza delivery, or a can of coke and leftovers from dinner. You aren’t really hungry, you may feel miserable, but the effort it would require to hug your partner, or become intimate with them isn’t as easy or comforting as food. People who struggle with weight often times struggle with intimacy as well. This struggle extends beyond their family, and affects their personal friendships as well. Eating for comfort may lead to more isolation. The more weight people gain, the less they want to mingle and the more they worry about what others will think or say.
Have we become a society of people medicating with food in order to feel better? Have we stopped turning to loved ones for support and comfort in lieu of food? Yes and no. Although overeating has always been a problem, the stress of technology speeding up our lives and forcing us to bring home more work, or never leaving work at work, we are all working more and more, and feeling less and less connected with those we love most. We return home feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Rewarding ourselves with food is a lot easier than becoming vulnerable and open to criticism from our partner or friends. There are other reasons more people are turning to food for emotional comfort rather than a relationship.

You don’t have to leave your home to get comfort. Food delivery is available within blocks of our homes.
Food is easy; you don’t need to invest any effort or time.
You don’t have to get dressed to enjoy comfort food.
You don’t have to look handsome, desirable or pretty for food.
Food doesn’t judge you, leave you, or criticize you.
Eating a delicious dinner is longer and more enjoyable for many people than sex (the average length of lovemaking is less than ten minutes).
Food doesn’t cheat on you.
Food is available anywhere, anytime, and for any reason.
Food may be tied to memories of love and childhood which makes you feel loved.
Food doesn’t require a partner.

So is it a bad thing if we prefer gourmet truffle macaroni and cheese along with a filet mignon and a fresh garden salad with gobs of ranch dressing? Is it bad to add chocolate mousse if you’ve had an especially rough day and need an additional reward? It’s not a judgment call of right or wrong, but it can be adding to your unhappiness and health. Intimacy with another is important. When you are intimate with someone they want you to be healthy; choosing food for comfort rather than reaching out to them would be hurtful or a sign of rejection. There are other reasons you need to find comfort in one another rather than food. Below are a few.
Intimacy shared with another gives you a deeper connection.
Intimacy doesn’t leave you with guilt, feeling disgusted, or body hate.
Intimacy helps you lose weight, not gain.
Intimacy lowers your heart rate.
Intimacy lowers your blood pressure.
Intimacy won’t cause diabetes.
Intimacy is good for your heart.
Intimacy improves your thinking.
Intimacy is exercise and exercise is good.
Intimacy won’t leave you feeling isolated.
Intimacy doesn’t take your mobility away.
Intimacy doesn’t cost anything.
Intimacy doesn’t make your hips, knees or ankles hurt.
Intimacy makes your brain work better.

Everyone understands the feeling of working and having a bag of chips or a package of Cookies nearby only to realize at the end of their task the bag or package is completely gone. They were eating them mindlessly. Eating to calm anxiety is more and more common. The primary reason for relationships growing apart is due to couples choosing other vices to fill the void they feel. Becoming aware of your behavior and what you are eating, as well as writing down what you eat (we forget) is a good way to begin eating less and becoming more in touch with the emotions you are repressing with food. A simple practice of not eating past 7 or 8 pm can help you lose weight, and communicate more with your partner, family or friends. Breaking the habit of turning to food is not easy, but with practice it does work. Intimacy and sex are better for you than food!
–Mary Jo Rapini

Well then I suggest you go right back to your surgeon and have them immediately re attach the portion of your stomach that was removed!
See what I did there? What's done is done. How about making the best of it? Get yourself happy and healthy. Both physically and emotionally. You've been given a great opportunity to do just that!
I suggest some therapy to deal with your issues with food. Please also pick up the book (on Kindle too) The Emotional First Aid Kit by Cynthia Alexander. One if the biggest fallacies out there is that WLS is "the easy" way out. There is nothing easy about it. The weight is not going to just fall off. Your weight loss will slow down and you will stall many times along the way. Your issues with food aren't going to magically just go away. If you put the work in, it will work for you. It will get easier as you keep adjusting to the new lifestyle. I promise!