ajoneen

Im coming to a place I've seen before- I am within view of 200(currently 212). This seems to be one of my biggest hurdles. I've been working really hard at the gym since last Feb, when I started a 3 day a week "Team WeightlossTraining" which includes a half hour of nutrition a week. Last week I completed another Triathlon. Right now activity isn't a problem.
I sucked it up, made an appoingment and dragged a very supportive friend to the band Dr. in Feburary and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had thought it would be. I've been back twice since(2 fills) and have had a barium swallow to make sure the band/pouch was in good shape. The band is holding up its end of the bargin.
 
Im scared shitless that something will come along and derail me again.
 
Im glad I had the courage to write this blog in the first place, rereading some of the old entries was hard but I've also learned alot about myself.
 
Peace
A

The fat girl inside me is SCREAMING to be fed junk food. I've all sorts of thoughts running through my head. I've thought that today was going to be a day to indulge in some sweet and chocolaty goodies. I was first going to go to a local bakery and get a couple things. Then I shifted to baking a recipe I found on Pintrest. I even pulled up that recipe and gawked at the pictures. Oh, that website is the devil!!!
 
This mental stuff is the worst. In my 34 years of living, it's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. And I've dealt with some pretty hard ish. As have we all, right?
 
I'm sure I'll make it through the day w/o caving.
 
I just ate a banana with peanut butter. More than 2 tbsp, but eating it is a 1000% better than what I REALLY wanted to eat, so I'm not going to stress myself.
 
I really do look forward to the day when food doesn't consume most of the space in my mind.

No one ever said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it.
 
Words to live by.