bellabloom

Hey all!
I wanted to post and update my progress and share my journey for newcomers.
I’m three years out of VSG surgery, start weight 240 lbs at 5’6.
 
My lowest weight after surgery was 114. Scary scary thin. After my surgery I could barely eat for an entire year and had malnutrition and many mental and physical barriers to overcome before I began eating again. It took a year to get my stomach straightened out to where I could eat solid food, and another two years to get my mind straightened out to where I was eating enough food.
Surgery like this is a big deal, easier for some, harder for others. Because we are a population that struggles with disordered eating behavior and many of us eating disorders, it’s hard to predict how it might affect you. For me, it leveled my life for awhile- but intimately put me into a better place.
My life before surgery consisted of constant dieting and deprivation with periods of intense binging on thousands and thousands of calories when I failed on the numerous diets I tried. Surgery was for me a last resort that I believed would stop this cycle and make me effortlessly thin forever or really just take away my ability to eat, because eating was a huge source of emotional pain.
Here I am at my lowest weight.

That’s some scary ****! I went through some very dark times after surgery that forced me to get super real about what I needed to be happy and healthy.
This past year I’ve been consistently rebuilding my health. I began doing this by saying no to dieting and calorie control. No counting, no obsessing, no weighing myself. My life now three years out consists of taking care of my health in a more holistic way. I eat in abundance, and I’ve recently began to be super inspired towards fitness and weight training. My calories average around 2500 per day although I don’t know exactly as I don’t count them. I’ve been able to go a lot of time without reading a food label or thinking too much about what I eat.
For me at this point weight has become something that I fight to be at peace with. I try to keep my mind off numbers and I’m focused on just feeling great and strong in my skin. I no longer believe being super thin is the path to happiness. Being able to eat and enjoy food, socialize without worry about food, and be in a healthy body is more important to me. My weight will always be secondary to those things.
I’m posting this to give you an idea of what’s possible long term. Surgery is a great tool in some ways but it comes at a high cost. It’s taken me years to rebuild my health and I’m still trying to get my metabolism and muscle mass back to wear it should be. But even without surgery I would have faced a hard road and surgery gave me the push I needed.
These days I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time and also I think, healthier.
 
Best wishes on your journey! And remember- you are beautiful right now. Weight doesn’t determine a persons beauty or worth!!!

I don't mind. Ask me anything you want. It took about 9 months for me to hit 118. I believe I lost 2-3 lbs a week steady.

Here are some of mine
I went from 240 ish to 128ish now. Not really sure what I weigh exactly cause I stopped caring. I'm 5'6 and I wear a size 0-4 depending...
I can run about five miles without getting tired. That's the best thing to me.
  

Thanks.

No i don’t. I’m done making progress and just in maintenance now.

Anthropologists, Bebe, banana republic, tj max, special
Boutiques in town, urban outfitters is my fav

Ever think some people left because a lot of you were really mean to them? I've had many many people message me privately about this. Sorry but it's true. Not gonna name names.

I found these on my computer today. I don’t have a lot of before pictures. These really made me go- wow.

Proud of myself.
I’m 3 years out.

I love it!! Super hot

My blood work is perfect. I eat enough actual food now that I don’t need Vitamins. I’m definitely not malnourished. I eat a wide variety of foods in abundance. Not taking my vitamins in the beginning was definitely bad and I wouldn’t advise it!! I didn’t take them because I was going through multiple surgeries and frankly I couldn’t tolerate them, they made me sick and I was exhausted by trying. My body became very malnourished. So yeah, take your vitamins people. Sorry I shouldn’t have said that like it was okay to do. But I also understand why taking them can be really hard for those of you struggling.
In regards to food- I suppose I should say that yes, I do have a different experience than most people. I lost too much weight for one thing... I also entirely gave up the restricting a diet mindset a couple years ago and accepted that I could definitely gain weight back. I’m okay with regaining weight if it means being happy. So yes, I gave up all the rules in order to be happy and free.
Rules- when I had wls I had been following rules my whole life. Don’t eat this. Don’t eat that. Diet diet diet starve starve starve. Living in constant hunger or Constant shame and guilt. One failed diet after another.
After I had wls my brain just kind of hit a wall and said f**k THE RULES. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I internally rebelled to any more control over my life from the dieting industry. I was so emotionally exhausted by years of dieting and starving and hating myself that after wls I found myself thin but more miserable than ever. I could accept or follow even the simplest rule, it felt wrong to me to keep down that path. My mind refused. I went through a lot of depression and really had to look at other options.
I like to promote my way of eating vs continued dieting because I am all about encouraging people to stop trying to be thin and start trying to be healthy. I mean healthy, mentally. Give up dieting and be free.
I promote intuitive eating which has been absolutely wonderful for me. I should have prefaced my post with that. I’m offering an alternative to weight loss and maintenance.
Honestly these boards break my heart. So many sad people. People struggling. People going crazy when they can’t lose enough weight or start to regain, when they fall off the rule wagon. So much pain. I know, I was there once. Every other post is about struggling to get to goal weight or stay there.
Wls works for some people I guess, people who can handle following a diet for the rest of their life. People who get lucky and have a lot of restriction for years. But for many many people it’s just another step in a failed Quest to starve themselves thin. I’m offering an alternative.
There are so many people out there struggling because of dieting and living less than complete lives. We need to explore a balance between wanting to be healthy and honoring the way our bodies are biologically meant to be. No one can live their whole life following a bunch of rules all the time. It is not reality.
Look how many people have wls and go off the tracks super quick. Look how many people never reach goal weight. So many posts on here about why the “rules” aren’t working. Why aren’t they working?
This post caught my attention because “rules” have always made me the most miserable when it comes to food. I feel a ton of anger and resentment at the rules forced upon me from when I was a child. Any wls surgeon who thinks a person with an eating disorder is gonna be able to follow diet rules for the rest of their life is truly failing their patients.

I didn’t have a whole host of health problems after my sleeve- i had a host of health problems BECAUSE of my bariatric surgery and concurrent surgeries and stricture. So let’s gets that straight. Nothing that i went through was because i wasn’t a rule follower- My story is more complicated than simply saying - oh she didn’t take her Vitamins so she got sick. Not only could I not take vitamins- I could not EAT for a long time. And I mean- anything. For months. I had multiple surgeries and was in the hospital again and again for months. Taking Vitamins was basically impossible for me during the complications I went through. I would vomit profusely every time I tried because I had basically zero food in my stomach. I ended up with a pic line feeding me for months. I did end up using patch Vitamins but I only really Improved once I was able to start eating.
This whole thread to me shows that people have to do things the way that works for them. Of course it’s always better to take care of your health and follow the rules. But let’s be real- most of us obese individuals aren’t too great at self care to begin with. And living by rules- that’s really tough long term. Even short term, it’s hard.
I personally applaud those of you who are able to follow the doctors orders perfectly. Good for you. Do your best. But it’s realistic to also say- find what works for you and explore your options. Know that good self care isn’t easy and the surgery is a great time to get some therapy to help with that. I wish I had much earlier then I did.
The surgery isn’t a magic solution that’s gonna make you be able to live on a diet for the rest of your life. Those that think that are bound to fail. But it will give you a chance to explore what works for you, break the diet cycle and get to a healthier place with some help. With the right attitude and support it can be done, even if the way you do it isn’t “perfect”.
Throwing around a patronizing attitude of “well you didn’t follow the rules but I will” just shows a lack of knowledge of living with wls long term and an unrealistic idea of what to expect in terms of challenges down the line. Most of the vets get it, some are better than others at - of I don’t know, never eating carbs again or whatever. But the majority- and I’ve met many many people who have had wls know, the majority have to find something more flexible or they do regain.

Some regain is normal. I gained 15 lbs back from my lowest. Guess what? I don't care. This journey taught me there are more important things to worry about than weight. There is so much more to life. I hope anyone who has regained will be kind to themselves. Ones worth is not determined by ones waistline. Maybe some people leave because they just don't need to focus on weight any more.... like me. I let it go. Now I'm back to help others if I can. Let's keep this a positive place like julie said. Support. Always support. No judgement.

I left for a long time because I got tired of the drama and needed to focus on myself. I'm back now with a healthier perspective and happy to give my two cents to anyone needing support.

I found these on my computer today. I don’t have a lot of before pictures. These really made me go- wow.

Proud of myself.
I’m 3 years out.

I agree with those above. What works for one won’t work for all. We find different ways of managing our lives and bodies. Success is defined differently by everyone. It’s not black and white, this is a complicated long term commitment.

A lot of doctors have changed their protocols and one surgeons strategy doesn’t always match up with another’s.

Vets are qualified to give advice- because they have been through it.

I found these on my computer today. I don’t have a lot of before pictures. These really made me go- wow.

Proud of myself.
I’m 3 years out.

Omg you are breathtaking. Love your eyes

I love it!! Super hot

I found these on my computer today. I don’t have a lot of before pictures. These really made me go- wow.

Proud of myself.
I’m 3 years out.

I found these on my computer today. I don’t have a lot of before pictures. These really made me go- wow.

Proud of myself.
I’m 3 years out.

I found these on my computer today. I don’t have a lot of before pictures. These really made me go- wow.

Proud of myself.
I’m 3 years out.

I think this is great question for this board. And I’m sure that you want to hear people’s stories, but I believe the key here is - you are asking this of yourself.

Did you try hard enough to lose weight without surgery?
And what you are really asking is “do I deserve surgery?”

The answer is yes. Yes yes yes. You deserve to make any decisions you feel is right for your health.

There isnt anything that says “this is when you have tried hard enough” and now you get surgery. Would you have a heart attack and make yourself run and eat well instead of taking a medication to control your blood pressure? No. You wouldn’t pass up on an excellent medical invention that could help your disease and save your life.

This post could be a mile long for me. Dieting in itself has been shown to fail. And it fails for many many reasons. Weight loss is extremely complex. Statistically speaking, this surgery works for most people. Wayyyyy more than dieting.

Take it. You deserve it.

If it was that easy no one on here would be heavy. If we could change our mind like a switch, don’t you think we allWould??? It’s not as easy as willpower, not even close. Even having the stomach removed isn’t enough for some people.
And now to the op- your body lost a ton of weight from a fast starvation type diet (weight loss surgery is just a forced state of starvation) then you got pregnant with a wrecked metabolism and a starved body- and your body sent your cravings through the roof and slowed your metabolism to a crawl to grow your baby, and heal the damage. When we diet our bodies believe that we are in a famine. And they are smarter than us and built to survive- that is how weight gain from dieting happens.
My advice is to take the opportunity to explore other ways of losing weight /weight maintenance other than surgery. Consider eating disorder therapy and a dietician that specializes in eating therapy to help you rebuild your metabolism.
Being thin isn’t everything. It really isn’t anything. Youre a new mom, you need food and you need health and you need to free your mind from feeling like a failure so you can focus on your baby. You are not a failure in any way and you are beautiful whether you are bigger or smaller. Therapy can really help with these negative self image issues we all have. You are not a criminal for wanting to eat fast food.
There are many ways to be healthy. Eating wholesome food to satisfy yourself, getting exercise every day, treating yourself to a new haircut, new clothes, figuring out what you really enjoy eating without guilt or shame, and loving your body the way it is. That’s health. Self care and self love is health. If you want to be healthy on the outside, you have to get healthy on the inside. Rebuild the trust in yourself.
I highly recommend Intuitive Eating to you as an option.

If it was that easy no one on here would be heavy. If we could change our mind like a switch, don’t you think we allWould??? It’s not as easy as willpower, not even close. Even having the stomach removed isn’t enough for some people.
And now to the op- your body lost a ton of weight from a fast starvation type diet (weight loss surgery is just a forced state of starvation) then you got pregnant with a wrecked metabolism and a starved body- and your body sent your cravings through the roof and slowed your metabolism to a crawl to grow your baby, and heal the damage. When we diet our bodies believe that we are in a famine. And they are smarter than us and built to survive- that is how weight gain from dieting happens.
My advice is to take the opportunity to explore other ways of losing weight /weight maintenance other than surgery. Consider eating disorder therapy and a dietician that specializes in eating therapy to help you rebuild your metabolism.
Being thin isn’t everything. It really isn’t anything. Youre a new mom, you need food and you need health and you need to free your mind from feeling like a failure so you can focus on your baby. You are not a failure in any way and you are beautiful whether you are bigger or smaller. Therapy can really help with these negative self image issues we all have. You are not a criminal for wanting to eat fast food.
There are many ways to be healthy. Eating wholesome food to satisfy yourself, getting exercise every day, treating yourself to a new haircut, new clothes, figuring out what you really enjoy eating without guilt or shame, and loving your body the way it is. That’s health. Self care and self love is health. If you want to be healthy on the outside, you have to get healthy on the inside. Rebuild the trust in yourself.
I highly recommend Intuitive Eating to you as an option.

Today was pretty difficult for me.
As much as my life post bariatric surgery has changed for the better, in many ways wls is still a struggle for me. Sometimes I worry it will always be this way. Feeling “normal” again- maybe I’ll never feel that again. In 20 years I will still be the same as I am now and what are the long term repercussions on my health?
I really struggle with food. Protein is a constant challenge. I find it very very difficult to eat dense protein. It gets stuck so easily, even if I take care to chew the f**k out of it. chicken and I- not friends. Fish is very challenging. Steak is easier but still, it can go badly. I can’t count the number of times I’ve puked up dense protein.
You know that rule, eat your protein first? If I did this I would still be anorexically thin. Once I take a couple bites of protein my restriction is so high I can possibly eat any more. Three bites and done. That’s about it.
Lately everything I eat gives me horrid gas. I’m constantly constipated. I try to get enough Water but drinking between meals, when I need to eat at least six meals a day to get enough calories, is incredibly difficult. When I drink with my meals it’s a gamble as to wether I will dump or throw up, so I try not to. But in my busy busy life I find it so hard to drink outside of my 6 meals, to grab that bottle of water and get it down when my stomach still only takes sips even after so many years out. I get incredibly thirsty when I eat as well. It’s exhausting.
I’m hungry so often. Not physically hungry, although that happens too. But more of a mental hunger or a deep physical anatomical hunger that just feels like I can never really get enough food. I can never, or very very rarely, get quite enough that my body feels truly fed. I’m always in this limbo of not quite satisfied. My stomach prevents me from eating even if my body wants and needs more. I watch other people eat and I envy them. I miss the feeling of true satisfaction and resent the feeling of restriction, especially when I know my body really needs more food!!
Sugar and I- we have a very mixed relationship. I love sugar and I don’t fear it will make me gain weight. Carbs are easier for me to digest than protein and so I rely on the a lot to get the calories I need to not become skeletal again. But carbs can often give me dumping syndrome. I’m constantly playing a game of Russian roulette. Will I dump after this meal? Tonight I dumped horrible after a meal of a turkey sandwich and raspberries. I assume it was the raspberries. It’s a constant condition, one that I go through really hard times over and while sometimes I want to just say- ok! No more carbs- see above issues with protein.
Following the “rules” doesn’t provide a solution to me. Protein is too hard to get down. Water is so hard to get in. My calorie needs are high. I’m having jaw problems now from the stress on my jaw from so much chewing. I’ve seen my surgeon- he says no sugar.
So what’s left for me to eat safely! Protein Shakes? That’s not realistic. And I can barely keep weight on as it is.
What can I swallow and know 100% it won’t get stuck and I won’t dump.
So many people on these forums painting the perfect picture of life after wls. And those feeling like failures when they don’t lose weight.
Well I’m a “success story”. I’m thin.
And I struggle Every. Single. Day.
I wish people would talk more openly and honestly about the long term effects of wls and what it’s like to live with it. What’s it like in an imperfect world for an imperfect person.
My best friend had wls and we talk all the time about these things. It’s nice that I have someone who gets it. When people are considering wls they only want to see the positives but they don’t understand the choice they are making.
Would I make this choice again? Would I trade my health and freedom with food for a day in the body I have now? Probably.
But I’m not sure what that says about me.
Will you do the same? Think about it.
I’m not saying don’t have surgery. I’m not saying I would go back into my old body. That body had lots of problems too. My mind, my body, my life.. I’ll take it now. But wls isn’t for everyone. I’ve had a few friends chose not to do it, and at the time I didn’t understand their decision. In the honeymoon stage you’re on a weight loss high. I rode that high for a long long time. But now.. years out I’m beginning to understand.
Today was a rough day. I have better ones. It would be nice to have a place to get some support for the hard things we go through. Most other people in my life, they can’t understand. For me, having wls is living in a body with chronic digestive illness.

Becoming obese is not as simple as having a lack of willpower and being a glutton. I know plenty of obese people with rock hard wills and incredible self control when it comes to other aspects of their lives- just not food.

You are over simplifying an issue that is biological and psychological and extremely complex. Insinuating that over weight people are just irresponsible, don’t care about their health and weak is offensive and wrong.

This isn’t about being PC. I’m the last person to care about being pc. It’s not about not hurting someone feelings or babying someone. It’s about bringing awareness to the FACT that obesity is creating by numerous underlying issues in our society and eating patterns and cultural mindset that go far being one individuals liking of cheesecake.

We are dealing with a population of people with extremely disordered eating behavior brought upon them by a lifetime of misguided messages about how to eat, what to eat, how much to eat, and most importantly- what to look like.

What we are not dealing with is hundreds of thousand of people who just can’t resist the delicious crunch of their double decker. Because I promise you, if being thin came down to willpower alone, I wouldn’t have had to remove 90% of my stomach organ to get there.