bellabloom

I saw someone online who's had 4 wls surgery's and was seeing if there was anything else she could do as she couldn't control her eating so she wanted another surgery...just think If she used that money for counselling maybe two surgeries ago she would have been successful. So heavy on the surgery being the cure. Our minds are in control. We need to nurture it. Help it grow as we all make mistakes.dont run away from underlying issues. Face them.

If it was that easy no one on here would be heavy. If we could change our mind like a switch, don’t you think we all

Would??? It’s not as easy as willpower, not even close. Even having the stomach removed isn’t enough for some people.

And now to the op- your body lost a ton of weight from a fast starvation type diet (weight loss surgery is just a forced state of starvation) then you got pregnant with a wrecked metabolism and a starved body- and your body sent your cravings through the roof and slowed your metabolism to a crawl to grow your baby, and heal the damage. When we diet our bodies believe that we are in a famine. And they are smarter than us and built to survive- that is how weight gain from dieting happens.

My advice is to take the opportunity to explore other ways of losing weight /weight maintenance other than surgery. Consider eating disorder therapy and a dietician that specializes in eating therapy to help you rebuild your metabolism.

Being thin isn’t everything. It really isn’t anything. Youre a new mom, you need food and you need health and you need to free your mind from feeling like a failure so you can focus on your baby. You are not a failure in any way and you are beautiful whether you are bigger or smaller. Therapy can really help with these negative self image issues we all have. You are not a criminal for wanting to eat fast food.

There are many ways to be healthy. Eating wholesome food to satisfy yourself, getting exercise every day, treating yourself to a new haircut, new clothes, figuring out what you really enjoy eating without guilt or shame, and loving your body the way it is. That’s health. Self care and self love is health. If you want to be healthy on the outside, you have to get healthy on the inside. Rebuild the trust in yourself.

I highly recommend Intuitive Eating to you as an option.

Glad you are not scarey thin. In a perfect bariatric world. I envisioned no longer needing to log food and just maintain and live life. I can get more food in at three years. I have to monitor it. I still have to work at this to maintain my weight.

I think that’s pretty realistic for most people. It’s easy to regain. Maybe I’m lucky and just have a fast metabolism or maybe I consume less than I think.. but intuitive eating has worked well for me. I still think healing the metabolism and feeding the body well is a key to stepping away from dieting. Have you ever considered it?

I’m 8 days from surgery and I️ worry about my future life. I️ wish I️ had a better understanding of the percentage of patients that struggle every day like you describe. Sounds so exhausting...

I wish I could tell you I knew you wouldn’t. It’s different for everyone. Just make sure it’s worth it to you. I’m still happy with the results from my surgery. I would do it again. Take heart, maybe it will be easier for you!

It's my understanding that these long term complications are less than 10%. (Which means over 90 people out of a hundred DON'T have a problem).

The most common issues:

Acid reflux happens regularly in sleevers

Vitamin deficiencies happen to almost everyone at some point.

About 10% of patients need to have their gallbladders out, but that is an acute issue that can be solved (and possibly prevented with Actigall).

It's good to know what you could be signing up for. Surgery definitely has risks, but fortunately the most dire of them happen only rarely (maybe 5%).

That is just not true.

Yes less than 10% have dire consequences. But it’s crazy to think there aren’t consequences.

YOU REMOVE MOST OF YOUR STOMACH.

If you think food will ever be the same to you, think again. It won’t. Eating will never be the same. And many many people don’t even lose all their weight and many regain. And they still have to live with the physical changes.

I’m not trying to be negative, just being real. Go into this with your eyes open. It’s a choice your making and a risk your taking. Are you willing to struggle with food for the rest of your life and to be different than how others can eat in return for weightloss?

For me the answer was yes. And I would do it again I think. It’s been three years. In three more years I may have changed my mind. It’s getting harder for me to live this way.

This surgery is a big commitment. There isn’t any going back. It’s gonna change things forever. Many many people struggle with dumping, food getting stuck, acid reflux, Constipation, vitamin issues, and just the process of eating being difficult when it takes you two hours to eat what everyone else can eat in five minutes. When it is a stressful thing just to figure out what you can eat in a situation that won’t make you sick. It’s reality for many many many.

Let’s be real.

2 years 7 months after gastric bypass. From 258 down to 125 and size 24 down to size 3.

Omg you are breathtaking. Love your eyes

Ok, Im about to either get roasted for posting this pic, or my inbox bout to blow the eff up by all you gals, and some men..lol :-)

Sorry but Im 43 years old, Father of 2, and was 300lbs of hot mess just 6 months ago, so Im proud of this ****! And I want to share it.

Im gonna have a 6 pack by summer of 2018! My new goal, UNDERWEAR MODEL!! LOL

I love it!! Super hot

I'm sorry if my post came across as harsh. I really just meant that it boils down to calories. Bella can use more calories than some of us, but if her appetite increases above caloric needs, then regain could happen to her too.

Preop, "satisfied" ALWAYS came too late for me.

I agree it possible some gain could happen to me down the line.. but the essential thing is I’m leaving that up to my body. I won’t diet again because I’ve decided to allow my body to regulate my weight and not try and interfere. Dieting was making me terminally unhappy no matter how thin I became.

I have accepted I may gain weight but I know I will love myself regardless and still be healthy because the weight gain won’t be from binging, dieting, or food obsession. It won’t be from eating things I don’t want or don’t make me feel good. It won’t be from eating things only because I feel like I shouldn’t eat them. If I gain weight I will embrace my new body and love myself.

your post was fine. Thanks for the thoughts.

If an average, sedentary, female eats 2500 calories every day, she'll gain weight.
I'm only 8 months postop and could easily consume 1800 calories a day (eating real, whole food..not even junk!). I may not gain much, but I sure wouldn't lose. In another year I'd be able to eat 2500, and then I'd be seeing regain like gangbusters.
Yup. I'll have to follow rules to keep my calories where they'll need to be. (How many calories? I'll find out when I check my metabolic rate when I get to goal... I'll get a dexa scan or something like that).

Here the thing though. I don’t agree with this anymore. I was raised by a dieter, dieting. I was taught calories in calories out. Calories = weight gain. That’s what got me fat!! Trying to restrict my calories, failing, Binging, gaining more than before the diet, screwing my metabolism. There is no way I could be happy on less calories than my body is hungry for.

When I went to eating disorder treatment I was taught that more calories doesn’t equal weight gain if you are eating for your respective metabolism, which is what I do. If you had told me I could maintain my weight averaging 2500 calories I would have said you were crazy. But now I believe differently because I’m living it.

I don’t know exactly how many calories I eat a day because I don’t track, and yes I am active. I don’t work out but i do stay on the move. But I do tally my calories up once in awhile and I believe I average around 2500. I gained weight from my lowest and then it stopped. I maintain where I am easily now- except when I don’t make sure and eat enough (which can be hard sometimes given my physical restrictions from surgery), and then I lose weight, which i do not want.

My belief is that my metabolism is restored and my body is able to handle the calories. If I had eaten this much when I was dieting back in the day, I would have gained weight because weight gain is the result of a poorly functioning metabolism due to dieting cycles.

For women 2500 calories is a reasonable amount of food that is a full and satisfied life. It may not mean super thin but it can equal a nice maintainable set point weight.

I know this isn’t for everyone and I’m challenging a lot of beliefs here. I’m sharing my knowledge of what works for me.

I want to add that skinny is not the only form of beauty!!!! Beauty comes in ALL SHAPES AND SIZES. beauty comes from self love and worth and respect. Respect your body. If you feel like it’s where it feels healthy and good, than wonderful!! Of course not all people are meant to look like what we see on the media.

You look beautiful to me. The important thing is that you are taking good care of yourself both inside and out.

Thanks everyone. Things have been a bit harder for me lately. I’m struggling with my digestion... I’m not sure if maybe my stricture has come back? And dumping has been worse. I don’t know. I’m making some adjustments to meal size and frequency so we shall see.

I’m still happy I found Intuitive Eating and would never go back to dieting ever but it’s hard to mesh it in with the physical changes I have due to surgery. I just don’t have a normal stomach and never will again.

You look amazing. I am sorry that you have had such a rough go of it, but I am happy that you have learned how to use your tool. I am having surgery on Friday, 11/17. I too get very busy and don’t eat sometimes. I have noticed that on my clear liquid preop diet I am still letting that happen. This is definitely making me weaker. If I am in a meeting for hours, it is tough to get something in, especially liquids. Have you developed any strategies for combatting this tendency? I bring food to work, but I still do it. I would love any advice you can offer for the long haul.

Skipping meals is something I REALLY struggle with when I get busy. I have to start the day off right with Breakfast. That helps. If I wait to long to eat my hunger signals don’t ever really get rolling. Staying up with meals requires preparation by having Snacks on hand and making a point of trying to eat at least 5-6 small meals a day. It can be really tough. If it’s a problem for you before surgery it may be a real challenge later. But you can do it!

Why do you keep repeating this over and over? Are you looking for affirmation and sympathy from new people who haven’t heard your “story” ad nauseum?

Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Lol. [emoji8] hang in there. I know dieting sucks.

I was reading, just today, about re-feeding anorexics. Basically, for them to gain weight, a typical 2000 calorie diet isn't enough to make significant changes to their weight. They need to eat 3500 and 4000 calories to make much headway. This is because the first 2000 calories are used just to continue living.. the extra is needed to make repairs and gain weight. Bella, even eating whatever she wants, is still restricted by the size of her stomach and her rule of stopping when satisfied. She isn't eating over 3000 calories a day, therefore can't gain a ton of weight... yet. I believe that once her body has healed the starvation damage, (may take years with limited calories), then she'll gain weight like the rest of us. Assuming "satisfied" comes a smidge too late [emoji6]

As for what "most bariatric patients" do or don't do with rules.. you are probably right, summerset.. I just know that at some point, in order for us to be morbidly obese, we couldn't have been following rules. Whether burnout, or lack of attention, or a rebellious attitude.. whatever reasoning was behind it.. doesn't really matter... cuz here we are!

The key to long term success is going to look different for each of us. But ultimately, we all are working with the same fundamentals. If we eat too many calories, we will put on weight. (how many is "too many" will vary wildly between us). If we find we are eating too many and the scale goes up, then we have to change something so we aren't eating too many any more.

Much easier when we've gained 10lbs, then 100.

I’m not anorexic nor am I being refed. I eat about 1500-2500 calories a day depending. But you are correct anorexics do eat more to gain weight. I’ve never taken that approach, even when I was in treatment for anorexia as my stomach could not possible hold that much food.

I just eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full. I don’t over eat and have no desire to do so. That’s what keeps my weight at maintainence. Following the post bariatric rules wasn’t working for me for numerous reasons. Getting into discussions on how metabolism and intuitive eating works wasn’t the point of my post.

What I’m saying is that long term these rules became unbearable for me. Am I alone? I doubt it.

Follow the rules if you can. Many can’t. It’s not black and white anyway. Lots of people find what works for them in different ways. I do break rules and sometimes I pay for that. Have I gained weight? No. Do I believe you need to follow the rules to avoid weight regain? NO.

But if you go back to how you were eating before surgery yes you could definitely regain. I don’t eat the way I did before surgery, not at all. I eat in a very sustainable moderate way. That’s the point of my post. I don’t follow diet rules because I’ve found another way to maintain.

I think what bella bloom said about rules carries a lot of truth for a lot of WLS patients. Of course there might be the "f*ck rules" people that were always like this, however, I think what most WLS patients experience is a severe "dieting burnout" where you're simply no longer able to follow any rules because you're so burnt out from years and decades of "following the dieting rules" that it seems to be virtually impossible. The surgery usually gives a ton of motivation but that doesn't last and the burnout kicks in again, maybe harder than before.
And that's very different from "eff it, I'm not gonna live with rules".

That’s exactly how I felt and how I still feel. Total burnout with dieting, to the point that I was more miserable dieting than I was overweight.

Not everyone feels this way of course. Luckily I’ve found a way to keep my weight off and not diet. I don’t know if Intuitive Eating will work for everyone but it’s working for me.

It was a long long process for me to be able to say “f the rules”. I still don’t say that. I still have to figure out what works and what doesn’t. I break the rules and sometimes I pay for it. But what it comes down to is my overall happiness being more important than my scale number.

Surgery is not for everyone. Each of us have stories with our experience with weight loss. Some positive some negative. We see people on this site struggling. Most of the new people are still in the high of the honeymoon phase and will give "follow the rules" advice This may not apply to vet's. This site doesn't have many vets.
Sorry to hear you're struggling tolerating and eating enough food. I'm sure you have tried many food options. My hope is your Dr. can work with you to figure out what's going on with your chronic digestive illness.
It's been some time since we have talked. I recently came back to the site. I'm also three years out. I know that it's never a one size fits all instruction (especially after goal) it seems to be trial and error to dial in what your body needs to be healthy years out.
People need to see the positives and negatives before surgery.
We talked about anorexia, behaviors around exercise and people that binge eat. Some of these issues may have been prior to peoples surgery and some come after surgery. I appreciated your honesty bringing this issue up.
Thinking about how you are doing today,
Jenn

Thank Jenn-
It’s nice to hear from you. How are you doing? It’s so interesting the different perspectives from vets isn’t it.

I had my surgery dec 2014. So three years.

There are definitely foods I can eat.. I’m not scary thin anymore. My post was more just about the long term difficulty in getting food down as you continue to move away from surgery and just try and live like a normal person. You can’t ever go back to it being easy.

I eat a lot of cheese, that gets me by.

I agree with those above. What works for one won’t work for all. We find different ways of managing our lives and bodies. Success is defined differently by everyone. It’s not black and white, this is a complicated long term commitment.

A lot of doctors have changed their protocols and one surgeons strategy doesn’t always match up with another’s.

Vets are qualified to give advice- because they have been through it.

It’s a lot to go through hun.

For one, your body is in a caloric deficit. Our bodies don’t like that. They see it as a famine. It’s natural for them to depress in this kind of situation. Just try and get your food in as best you can.

There is a huge emotional reliance of food for most overweight people. It’s a coping mechanism for many of us. And we’ve also dieted a lot and followed that by a rebound binge. Well, you can’t now. So the pattern is broken and your realizing your coping mechanism is gone.

It’s really important to focus on getting some new ones that are not food related. What other things do you have in your life that can get you some comfort?

Get some exercise. Your body needs endorphins. Post surgery our bodies go through a slump. Go out and take a walk in the fresh air. Go for a jog. Get your heart rate up. It will really help. The best cure for depression is endorphins.

Hang in there. This too shall pass.

3 years out, I feel ill in one way or another about 80% of the Times I eat.

That’s reality for many people.

YOURE not a failure. Your a wonderful beautiful human being. Losing or gaining weight is not a reflection of your worth. You are worthy no matter what.

Wls and weight loss is really hard!! You can hit stalls and it can get scary. My advice is to just stick to the plan you’ve been given as best as you can and focus on doing the things that will give you the best restriction. Weight loss can be slow for some people and that’s okay. If you eat off plan, don’t beat yourself up!! It’s not an all or nothing thing. You have restriction and your body may just need some time to begin losing again.

Work on your self worth. You are so much more than your weight. Even if you never lose another pound, you are NOT a failure. You are great no matter what you weigh. It’s good that you are trying to import a your health but your health and weight does not give you value. You have value no matter what.

I went through 4 months of in and out of the hospital after my surgery and 6 stomach surgeries in all. It was hard!! Very hard.

But I’m 4 years out now and doing well, not perfect but definitely happy. You will get through all of this. Hang in there!!

[mention=122684]CowgirlJane[/mention] - I tried OH as well, but that platform is just awful. Very difficult to navigate and then Guy's section was literally a weekly weigh in. This place of course has a more traditional forum layout.
It seems like the majority of vets that have stuck around or pop in from time to time are either not active, failing or struggling and trying to get back on track, or batshit crazy and looking for attention. Me personally I am a creature of habit and check all my forums in the morning. This place is like that car accident in the lane next to you. You can't help but look.

Pretty sure I’m batshit crazy haha but I was like that before surgery 🤨[emoji6]

I think it’s really important for us to stay up with each other. A lot of you gave me a ton of great advice these past three years and I really appreciate that.

My struggles happen still although they are different. I’m in the rather unique position of fighting to keep weight on me rather than off me. I have some pretty bad long term health issues from my surgery.

I really think the new people need the advice of us long term peeps. We all have something unique to share in this journey.

I mean cmon. Wls- what a ride. What a life change. Man. Just the head stuff. They physical changes. It’s been really intense for me. So much.

I stick around and check in cause I want to help. Share my story. Bring awareness. Ask people to think. Share my message of body love and positive self worth. Share my ideas about maintenance which has been SO hard for me. That’s why I’m here, anyway.

What I do know about this forum is if you breathe a word bad about wls you’re gonna get witch hunted. I get it. People before surgery are so hopeful. That was me too. I banked everything on this. I wanted to be thin SO BADLY. I would have done anything. I probably would have cut off an arm to be skinny back then.

But we have a responsibility to paint a realistic view of wls and what it is like long term. What’s it like after the honeymoon phase wears off. How do you stay happy, stay healthy, how do you move forward in your life???? So many things. We owe it to them.

And we owe it to each other to support each other. I don’t know about you guys but I still really need support!!

If this keeps up it could be a stricture. Keep up with your doctor. I didn’t realize I had one and it went on for 9 months, no solids. Bad plan!!

It is never to late to make a change in your life. Even challenging your beliefs about weight loss and what that means to you could help you.

Weight loss and wls is a lot of pressure. It’s hard to just be kind to ourselves. It’s so difficult to go through alone and failing at weight loss is NOT the same as being a failure. We are human. Our bodies fight hard to stay at certain weights. There is a ton about weight loss we don’t understand.

I hope you can find someone to counsel you about eating disorders. I think it would really help.