bellabloom

I think it’s really important for us to stay up with each other. A lot of you gave me a ton of great advice these past three years and I really appreciate that. My struggles happen still although they are different. I’m in the rather unique position of fighting to keep weight on me rather than off me. I have some pretty bad long term health issues from my surgery. I really think the new people need the advice of us long term peeps. We all have something unique to share in this journey. I mean cmon. Wls- what a ride. What a life change. Man. Just the head stuff. They physical changes. It’s been really intense for me. So much. I stick around and check in cause I want to help. Share my story. Bring awareness. Ask people to think. Share my message of body love and positive self worth. Share my ideas about maintenance which has been SO hard for me. That’s why I’m here, anyway. What I do know about this forum is if you breathe a word bad about wls you’re gonna get witch hunted. I get it. People before surgery are so hopeful. That was me too. I banked everything on this. I wanted to be thin SO BADLY. I would have done anything. I probably would have cut off an arm to be skinny back then. But we have a responsibility to paint a realistic view of wls and what it is like long term. What’s it like after the honeymoon phase wears off. How do you stay happy, stay healthy, how do you move forward in your life???? So many things. We owe it to them. And we owe it to each other to support each other. I don’t know about you guys but I still really need support!!

If this keeps up it could be a stricture. Keep up with your doctor. I didn’t realize I had one and it went on for 9 months, no solids. Bad plan!!

It is never to late to make a change in your life. Even challenging your beliefs about weight loss and what that means to you could help you. Weight loss and wls is a lot of pressure. It’s hard to just be kind to ourselves. It’s so difficult to go through alone and failing at weight loss is NOT the same as being a failure. We are human. Our bodies fight hard to stay at certain weights. There is a ton about weight loss we don’t understand. I hope you can find someone to counsel you about eating disorders. I think it would really help.

It doesn’t really ever go away either, in my opinion. It’s hard for the body to eat less calories.

If you think you have one, you probably do. Take heart, they are pretty simple to fix.

It takes awhile for the brain to catch up

It’s hard to predict how much you will Lose but rest assured it will grow back.

I did those for a bit, I had to. But I was told they don’t actually work very well.

Seeds are fine for me too

I think it’s better not to overthink it. Choose a goal that seems realistic to you. It’s hard to predict what your body will do. Many people surpass their goal because they simply can’t eat more. You may find that to be the case. Or your body may resist and want to stay at a higher weight than you wanted. I think the important thing is to take it one day at a time and realize that while you can do your best some of it is just up to your body. A lot of people regain some weight or all their weight but a lot of people don’t. Try not to worry.

I wish I had known- being three years out now, that I would live with long term consequences. I would trade being obese for living with chronic digestive issues, never being able to eat freely or normally again and that meals would always be a struggle. I’m not saying it would have changed my mind. It probably wouldn’t have. Being thinner and healthy is amazing and wonderful. But you have to know, it’s likely you will trade one thing for another.

So beautifully said. Perfectly said. It’s a part of weight loss that isn’t much talked about and integral to losing the fear of regain. I have mirrored your journey. But I have also decided to completely move beyond valuing myself based on a number. I found that in order to be truly happy I had to accept that all “me” was a valid loveable person. The bigger me, the me now. My worth isn’t determined by my weight. This allowed me to let go of the fear of regain and also let go of any dieting behavior. I now eat freely and intuitively and it’s been such a wonderful transition. I’ve embraced my body weighing whatever it needs to to be healthy. That’s when I was really able to find happiness. My weight gain came about from self hatred and shame, feeling like a failure for not being model thin. If I kept holding myself to that standard I would have put myself right back where i started. Thank you for your post, it’s a really important thing to talk about.

My blood work is perfect. I eat enough actual food now that I don’t need vitamins. I’m definitely not malnourished. I eat a wide variety of foods in abundance. Not taking my vitamins in the beginning was definitely bad and I wouldn’t advise it!! I didn’t take them because I was going through multiple surgeries and frankly I couldn’t tolerate them, they made me sick and I was exhausted by trying. My body became very malnourished. So yeah, take your vitamins people. Sorry I shouldn’t have said that like it was okay to do. But I also understand why taking them can be really hard for those of you struggling. In regards to food- I suppose I should say that yes, I do have a different experience than most people. I lost too much weight for one thing... I also entirely gave up the restricting a diet mindset a couple years ago and accepted that I could definitely gain weight back. I’m okay with regaining weight if it means being happy. So yes, I gave up all the rules in order to be happy and free. Rules- when I had wls I had been following rules my whole life. Don’t eat this. Don’t eat that. Diet diet diet starve starve starve. Living in constant hunger or Constant shame and guilt. One failed diet after another. After I had wls my brain just kind of hit a wall and said f**k THE RULES. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I internally rebelled to any more control over my life from the dieting industry. I was so emotionally exhausted by years of dieting and starving and hating myself that after wls I found myself thin but more miserable than ever. I could accept or follow even the simplest rule, it felt wrong to me to keep down that path. My mind refused. I went through a lot of depression and really had to look at other options. I like to promote my way of eating vs continued dieting because I am all about encouraging people to stop trying to be thin and start trying to be healthy. I mean healthy, mentally. Give up dieting and be free. I promote intuitive eating which has been absolutely wonderful for me. I should have prefaced my post with that. I’m offering an alternative to weight loss and maintenance. Honestly these boards break my heart. So many sad people. People struggling. People going crazy when they can’t lose enough weight or start to regain, when they fall off the rule wagon. So much pain. I know, I was there once. Every other post is about struggling to get to goal weight or stay there. Wls works for some people I guess, people who can handle following a diet for the rest of their life. People who get lucky and have a lot of restriction for years. But for many many people it’s just another step in a failed quest to starve themselves thin. I’m offering an alternative. There are so many people out there struggling because of dieting and living less than complete lives. We need to explore a balance between wanting to be healthy and honoring the way our bodies are biologically meant to be. No one can live their whole life following a bunch of rules all the time. It is not reality. Look how many people have wls and go off the tracks super quick. Look how many people never reach goal weight. So many posts on here about why the “rules” aren’t working. Why aren’t they working? This post caught my attention because “rules” have always made me the most miserable when it comes to food. I feel a ton of anger and resentment at the rules forced upon me from when I was a child. Any wls surgeon who thinks a person with an eating disorder is gonna be able to follow diet rules for the rest of their life is truly failing their patients.

Sometimes I tell people and sometimes I don’t. It depends on who it is. My close friends and people I trust know. Strangers I don’t usually tell. It’s been 4 years now so people have stopped asking. You’ll see soon it won’t matter as much how you lost weight and people will forget you were ever heavy at all.

This is an issue you don’t hear about a lot, people don’t like to talk about it but it is common. Eating can be very difficult after the surgery. I’m four years out and I still have a hard time eating. I get sick about 75% of the Times I eat. It is u comfortable, can be painful, I dump and throw up. I had to shelve all of the dietary advice I was given and I now eat whatever I can handle in order to just get food in. I would definitely recommend seeing your surgeon, adding in high calorie shakes, making a meal plan where you eat at least 6 times a day, and seeing an eating disorder therapist. ASAP.

Wow! I don’t meet too many people struggling with this as I do. Good for you! Yes you look way better I agree. For me it’s really a challenge to keep weight on, both mentally and physically to eat enough. I was 114 at my lowest and looked really sickly. I definitely don’t want to ever weight that little again! You look great. What was your start weight?

Mine is a little different. I’ve actually put weight on in the last year, I think about 10 lbs? Not sure but I’ve gained weight because I’ve eaten more and the weight gain has really improved my appearance and health. I didn’t try to gain weight by stuffing myself or anything I just have allowed my body to weight whatever it wants to. I stoped trying to control it.

I pretty much break all of them. I barely took my vitamins... once I could eat I drank and ate together a ton, still do. I eat sugar and junk food and fried food etc. I drink sodas and red bulls and coffee... tons of bread and candy. I eat bagels every day for breakfast. I eat donuts in the super market standing in line. I don’t count my calories and I don’t weigh myself either. I don’t work out regularly although I do stay active at work. Nothing too active though. I drink carbonated beverages daily. I use straws lol. (Didn’t even know that was a rule) I eat whenever I am hungry. I have no plan whatsoever. I eat pie. I drink mixed drinks and wine and eat tons of super calorie high cheeses and oils. I snack and graze at times. I really pay no attention to what or how I eat. My only rule is : I eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m satisfied. And other than the occasional dumping and stuff getting stuck I am happier than ever. I maintain at what I guess is my “goal” although sometimes I’m a little under it and sometimes a little over it but usually I’m trying to keep weight on me, not off of me. I’m too thin if anything.

You definitely need to get checked out by a doctor. A general one first and then refer to a gastro. You could have an ulcer etc. our bodies really change from surgery. Get looked at asap.

Get into counseling and see an eating disorder therapist. It’s unfair to ask yourself to go through this without the support you need.

It’s fine if you past the early stages of surgery. But take care because laxatives will bind you up worse. After wls constipation can be a really bad issue. Try some milk of magnesia and fiber pills and plenty of water. Get on a good bowel regime and talk to your doctor.

That’s probably gonna be a normal thing. I still get sick a lot 4 years later. You will learn what does it, but it’s just a consequence of the surgery.

Why do you feel you need to lose more? You look great

Yes. It’s harder to understand post op. It takes being at a certain place to relate I think. o hope you are doing great!

It’s amazing how much animosity there exists on bariatric pal these days. Whatever happened to just being chill? [emoji4] anyway. Just wanted to update, I am still doing really well. My weight is holding steady although my body composition has changed due to plastic surgery. This year I’ve had a lot and it’s getting used to a whole new me. My waist is tiny, my butt is big, my boobs are little... lol. Hello. So I’m buying different clothes and trying to get used to the changes now that I’m finally on the mend. It’s interesting because once I finished the plastic surgeries I found that I felt basically the same but not that into caring about my looks like I did before. I’m content but not obsessed. I used to try a lot harder to stand out where now.. I just am focused on other things. I’ve been able to turn my attention away from my size and shape and back to things like my job and family. And that is a relief. There is definitely a time after wls where the whole world revolves around the physical changes one is going through. These days I have a really nice boyfriend who is super supportive of me. He is helping me overcome some obstacles around my eating behavior that I still struggle with because of my surgery. I have some long lasting physical effects and we are working to see if I can get past those. He’s very supportive about my weight and never lets me slide into negative self talk. I know that the hardest thing for me in all of this has been dealing with my self image and my value system. I have days where I feel a lot of anxiety and I feel enormous again. I have to remind myself, “fat” is not a feelings. Just because I may feel a certain way doesn’t correlate to how I look. I struggle with body dysmophia still. To this day I am shocked when I see a picture of me and I’m thin. It’s hard to get your mind to catch up with your body. And then there is the notion that - does it matter? Is weight an item by which a person can be judged? No it isn’t. Is losing weight worthwhile? For me it was. But not for everyone. Just because we may want to lose weight doesn’t mean everyone over weight should or needs to. I have to remember not to judge myself by my looks. It’s a lifetime of habitual self judgement to undo. My eating patterns remain the same. I try really hard not to skip back into dieting. I believe in intuitive eating and I love the health and freedom it has given me. Sometimes I miss dieting though. Not because I want to e thinner but because I miss the illusion of control and the patterns of restriction I was raised with. That belief of “my weight controls my happiness” and “dieting is what we should do as women” is really hard to overcome. I have moments where I get triggered and I fight those. I haven’t weighed my self in a very long time. I feel like I look different but in a positive way. My clothes still fit, I wear a size 2. I know I’m at a healthy weight and no one makes comments that I am too thin anymore so that’s a relief. I did several plastic surgery procedures this year which I am at the end of. I haven’t been working out at all because of this but now I am going back and look forward to rebuilding my muscular strength. I love to run and lift weights. My meals are just the same as they were.. I usually skip breakfast or sometimes eat some toast a bagel or an omelet. I eat a big lunch, usually at a restaurant or a sandwich with a avocado and lots of cheese. I eat a light dinner.. I kinda suck at dinner. So usually a snack then. And right before bed I eat a big meal.. dinner left overs or a burrito or microwave meal and sometimes desert. Sometimes I eat in the middle of the night too but not as much lately. I pay pretty little attention to what I eat. One thing though lately is I have been struggling with a lot of gas pain. I’ve seemed to become intolerant to garlic and beans and some other foods. I’m trying to figure out what that’s about. Anyhow! Feel free to pm me anytime. I’m happy to discuss intuitive eating. [emoji4] Here are some recent pictures. Day of my surgery 12/2014 Couple weeks ago