The Candidate

Congrats on an incredible milestone!

You have every reason to be excited. Congrats! ????

Hummus is great. I eat it on carrots as well.

Every day should bring a small amount of improvement, although it might not be readily apparent to you right now. But before you know it you'll begin feeling more like yourself. You're going to be tired for quite awhile though.
Follow your post op instructions, get plenty of rest, and you'll be fine. Good luck!

I was very lucky in that I was totally supported by my family and close friends. But I also made the decision early on that I was only going to share my plans with select people, personally and professionally. It's a decision I haven't once regretted.

That kind of news is a wonderful way to start the week! Being nervous is perfectly normal. But in the long run you're doing what you have to do in order to be there for your kids long term. Congrats!
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For myself, I'm actually much more happy that I now "think" about what I should eat or should not eat before I make my final choice for a meal. Before, there were no limits: if I wanted it I ate it. If it wasn't in the house I had it delivered. If it meant getting up and driving to a grocery store at all hours of the day I never thought twice.
Before surgery my food choices were unlimited. Now I consider the ultimate ramifications of bad food choices. I ask myself: is it really worth it? And invariably it isn't. I never did this before. I realize (for myself and my life) that going out to eat might be a potential trigger so I limit it to very special occasions. I never truly appreciated before just how much of social get togethers revolve around food.
Everything in life boils down to personal choices, and what's right for one isn't always right for another. In my case, I steer away from going out to eat. The same way I no longer add salt or sugar to my food, or eat bread , sweets, and Pasta. It works for me. And WLS is what made it happen. For the record, I never feel like I'm "missing out on something" either. I much prefer my life now to the way it was before.

This is the perfect time to pamper and remind yourself that you are worth this! Great idea!

I am definitely a different person since surgery. And I have also experienced a better understanding of patience. It wasn't achieved just after surgery though, because it began to build over the entire year of the approval qualification for the surgery. WLS didn't just change my outward appearance, it also awakened and expanded my sense of self worth, allowing me, for the first time, to turn that compassion inward. What I was able to let go of was my own internal critic.
It also showed me that I wasn't alone. Being the only fat person in my immediate family caused a very isolated lifelong pain that I was never able to adequately explain to my thin family. And It wasn't until I began my research on WLS that I finally realized how many other people out there were going through the exact same thing. It was an immediate raw and palpable connection.
I would say that I've always been, or I've certainly have strived to be, compassionate. The biggest difference is that now I'm working on spreading that compassion to include everyone in my life who has ever bullied or ridiculed me about my weight, from childhood to adulthood. As well as the ones that now treat me kinder based entirely on my outer appearance. As much as I endeavored to lose the weight I also want to rewrite these bitter memories, but this time with my own ending.
As much as you shrink on the outside, you rise on the inside, which makes for an incredibly positive life changing experience.

I am definitely a different person since surgery. And I have also experienced a better understanding of patience. It wasn't achieved just after surgery though, because it began to build over the entire year of the approval qualification for the surgery. WLS didn't just change my outward appearance, it also awakened and expanded my sense of self worth, allowing me, for the first time, to turn that compassion inward. What I was able to let go of was my own internal critic.
It also showed me that I wasn't alone. Being the only fat person in my immediate family caused a very isolated lifelong pain that I was never able to adequately explain to my thin family. And It wasn't until I began my research on WLS that I finally realized how many other people out there were going through the exact same thing. It was an immediate raw and palpable connection.
I would say that I've always been, or I've certainly have strived to be, compassionate. The biggest difference is that now I'm working on spreading that compassion to include everyone in my life who has ever bullied or ridiculed me about my weight, from childhood to adulthood. As well as the ones that now treat me kinder based entirely on my outer appearance. As much as I endeavored to lose the weight I also want to rewrite these bitter memories, but this time with my own ending.
As much as you shrink on the outside, you rise on the inside, which makes for an incredibly positive life changing experience.

Try and get a good night's sleep! Congrats!

Super nervous! Surgery is tomorrow morning 8a. Got everything for the post op diet. Got all of my prescriptions filled and house is clean! My best friend is here for 4 days to help me! Anxious and nervous all in one!
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Congrats! Those first months are wonderfully magical. You will have many more celebration days coming your way. WLS is for me, the closest thing out there to the fountain of youth. You expect to feel better, but you're completely overwhelmed by how it will positivity affect so many other aspects of your life: your mobility, stamina, confidence, belief in yourself and so many others.
WLS isn't just a cold sterile procedure. It's your life 2.0 reboot and a second chance to get it right this time around.
It's just going to get better and better!

I gave my surgeons hardworking coordinator a gift. I told him that out of his awesome team, she was the one person who always had answers for me and my husband, called people when they would not call me back, and that out of the entire processes that she and he were the greatest. She was the low end of the totem pole but I will never forget her always being available. I also sent her a thank you card. Our surgeon might get some chocolate Peterbrooke popcorn soon!

@@AvaFern
I think I have a common sense crush on you !

I think a small token gift would be great. But don't forget to put into words what a difference your surgeon and staff have made in your life. When I think of what my life is now compared to how it was, thanks to this person's skills, it brings tears to my eyes.
I've received many many small gifts over the years and I've had to start putting the person's initials and date on the bottom to remember who gave me what and when. But a handwritten signed sentiment will always be remembered. It really personalizes the moment.

I think that when there is an extremely negative reaction toward someone who is new to the process when they ask a question about if they "can" eat something as opposed to if they "should", this really helps no one. When the question is "can" I have a taco when the person is first on solids, the correct answer is that yes, you can with certain modifications (I suggested skipping the hard taco shell, enjoying low fat turkey, and going easy on the fatty stuff). Should you? Probably not, but medically, yes, you can. If the question is "can" I have a drink or two a weeks after surgery or the week before, medically the answer is that, yes, they can. I tend to reply a lot to the "can I eat this" threads because I think that it is important for people to understand the difference between "can" and "should" because when we tell people they CANNOT do something, when in reality, medically they absolutely can, we just perpetuate misinformation. You can eat PB&J in the soft phase- this will not hurt your new stomach. It's not going to help you lose weight, and it would have made me feel crummy, but nothing physically is going to break in your stomach if you eat that. On the other hand, "can I eat almonds and sharp, hard crackers" 3 days after surgery is a "h*ll NO" that is going to mess up your stomach.
As examples outside of surgery...can you eat that entire box of brownies? Yes. You can. You are not going to immediately die from it. Should you? No, of course not, but the long-term health consequences are your concern and you have the right to do what you want to do. If you eat a box of brownies once a year and you are a healthy weight, then good for you! It's not my business! This to me is comparable to...can I eat cake on the soft foods stage? Sure you can! You're not going to lose weight, but that piece of cake is not going to be the single thing that kills you because it somehow caused your stomach to rip open and if you can learn to eat junk food in very moderate amounts at an early stage and this is what works for you, then who am I to judge the way in which you get healthy?
Comparably, can you smoke cigarettes while you are on oxygen? Yes, physically you can, but you are likely going to burn your face off, thus causing an immediately bad result. This to me is like, "I am 2-days post-op, can I eat a jar of peanuts?". Sure you can, but you have a really good chance of jacking up you stomach, so medically no, do not eat that.
When people are asking if they can eat something, my impression is that the vast majority of the time they are seeking clarification as to whether they are physically going to hurt their stomach or themselves in the immediate short term. Whether they happen to die of a heart attack in 10 years because they kept eating junk is not the question, but rather the question is if they are going to rip open their new stomach and die from a leak. As such, it is important to differentiate between the "should" and the "can" and flipping out on people because they ask if they can have a few bites of junk food when it is entirely safe for them to do so accomplishes nothing.
I have had junk food as part of my diet since the first point it was safe to do so. My first "soft" meal was a chicken taco salad. I ate the chicken, the Tomato, and some of the sour cream. I ate about 5 bites of it and was no longer hungry. I used to regularly eat 1/4 a panini from Panera when I was losing- it was my lunch and calorie wise it fit into the plan. I have been at goal now for over 18 months and I am almost at 2 years of being within 5 pounds of goal and there are plenty of times now and when I was losing that I did not follow the rules. Sometimes I eat sweets, sometimes I drink alcohol, sometimes I eat other gross things and because I have been allowed to have them in very small amounts since the start of having the sleeve, they are not some banned substance that I crave and feel like I am being denied. This is what works for me and what may work for someone else.
So yes, you CAN eat the vast majority of things people ask questions about, whether you SHOULD or not is the issue and frankly, I have no interest in telling an adult what they should be doing with their diet when I am hardly a 100% compliant patient and I ended up just fine. I see no value in telling an adult that they should not eat cake, judging them for their choices and their questions, and acting like I am better than them because I lost weight and they are still fat. They have a mirror, they have a scale, and they likely have a basic level of education about nutrition. The question is CAN not SHOULD and I am a little over the holier than thou comments that treat people like they are a complete moron for wondering if they are going to hurt their stomach by eating something they SHOULD not be eating when every single one of us has at some point eaten something we SHOULD not be eating, but which, medically, we absolutely CAN, in moderation, enjoy.
I am now going to go drink my sugar free Red Bull and eat my carb-laden, protein-lacking, sugary Cereal for Breakfast. Yum.

Congratulations that is awesome keep it up
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I weighed in today and I am down 102 lbs! I can't describe the feeling of losing that much for the first time in my life! I love this tool so much. It's helped with so many personal and medical problems I once had to face! Everyday is a learning experience and I can't wait to see what awaits me on this life changing journey!!!

@@valerie1982
my hearing isn't as good as it used to be
did you say you lost 102 lbs???
thats wonderful
Woo Hoo
i knew you could do it!!!! I just knew it!!!!
i love your great attitude
health issues - gone or improved!
new personal issues better now too!!
enjoy, remember all your NSV's
think happy thoughts about your future
you MUST continue with your healthy eating habits etc for the rest of your life!!!
but you are a smartie - you already knew that
keep up the good work
kathy
congrats

Never underestimate the appreciation of a note and a nice review on doctor review sites that have a growing consumer audience. Also you may want to copy the head of surgery on your letter to emphasize the importance of your team to you!

You have a wonderful and heartbreaking story to tell. Thank you for sharing it with us. I was 54 when I had the surgery and I am 55 now. I struggled with my weight my entire life. WLS is definitely the best thing I ever did for myself. I know you're going to feel the same way.
It's never too late to change your life for the better, and you are living proof of that. I am sad to hear of your many sorrows, and equally happy to hear how you were able to move past it.
You are a role model and an inspiration!

I agree. Also, don't forget that it was a team that made your surgery a success both in and out of the operating room.
I used to work for lawyers and there was nothing worse than seeing them get all the rewards/recognition when we knew who actually did all the work.

That's a nice thought, but I think a handwritten note alone can express it all and would be greatly appreciated. A gift wouldn't be inappropriate if that's what feels right to you. If you take that route, something for the baby would be good -- acknowledging a wonderful event and not too personal.
People who do good things for us in behind-the-scenes ways, e.g., doctors, lawyers, rarely know how we fare down the road. A note means a lot to their human sides. About a year ago I had occasion to call a lawyer whose name was unusual enough that I asked if he were related to an ER doctor who took care of me several years earlier (not bariatric related). It occurred to me when all was said and done that the doctor, because his only contact with patients was in the ER, never knew what happened later and might like to know about some people. I called the hospital to get a mailing address for the MD and learned that he'd moved on. Now here was his lawyer brother on the phone. I told him how his brother's medical recommendation had made a major, positive, long-term change in my life. He was thrilled to be able to pass the word on the the brother because he wondered about his own past clients from time to time..

Was wondering if its appropriate to give my surgeon a gift. He did my sleeve as well as my gallbladder and was wonderful throughout the entire process. I don't really know how to say how appreciative I am to him in person so I would rather write something with a gift. He's actually leaving the practice and moving away so it would be a thank you/moving gift. He just had a baby so I was thinking maybe a baby gift? Has anyone else given their surgeon a thank you gift?
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