SkinnyDown

Congratulations.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and advice. I'm still hanging in there determined to follow this liquid diet and not let the temptations of food deter me from getting WLS.
@@Dub Yep I can have Healthwise oatmeal until Wednesday then I have to stop it 7 days before my surgery. I will definitely give the flavored Water a try. Thanks!
@@Lori222 Good luck with your surgery. Yeah the ups and downs are real and I'm glad I'm not the only one having doubts about the surgery.
@@SkinnyDown Omg you sound so much like me. I always had to hide what I eat and was ashamed to eat in front of people. I remember going to Mc Donald's and ordering two double quarter pounders with cheese or going to Chick-Fil-A and ordering three sandwiches and just not to sound like a pig I would be like "Oh she wants one without pickles" but all that food was just for me. Food addiction is real and I've been also talking to my therapist about it. I've been trying to channel my addictive behavior into something more positive. Well I don't know if its positive but lately its been more along the lines of online window shopping and watching beauty tutorials on youtube. I really want to channel the addictive behavior into something even better like exercising and getting in shape.
@@catwoman7 That's why I'm really looking forward to the surgery. Get rid of this hunger for all things unhealthy and control how much I eat. Really looking forward to that diminishing.

I'm so sorry you had to hear that from a friend who you supported in the same situation.
Luckily so far, the few friends I have shared that I had surgery with, have been very supportive. I have a lot of friends I went to college with, that have no clue, as I did not tell them, and they live all over the country. I don't plan on the big reveal, until I have met goal, and had the plastics my insurance will cover. Then I'll let the world know.
Honestly the harshest and most hurtful comments have come from my 2 younger sisters. I now hear things like...
"What are you going to do with all the wrinkles that will appear on your face, when you lose?" (although I don't see any more wrinkles now than I did 145 lbs ago) and "what are you going to do with that big deflated skin flap where your double chin was." (that one was true, it's there. I do exercises to try to help strengthen muscles in the area, it's about all I can do) They both know my insurance won't pay for that kind of cosmetic surgery, and I can't afford face surgery on my own.
Why they would even say those things to me, is mean in my opinion. At first they were supportive and the more I lose, the more biting the remarks get. One sister is average sized, and always has been, and the other fluctuates, and is big right now. She cuts me off everytime I want to talk about my progress. I guess it's just a reminder to her that she's ate her way back to almost bigger than me at this point. I can't help that, but I was hoping for more support.
We just have to keep doing what we are doing, and know envy and jealousy are things you will come across.
My thought would be if you confront her, is remind her how supportive you were of her and her surgery.
Yet again, this supports my argument, they just don't give enough help with food addiction issues in these bariatric programs.

I wanted to say it here. Over 30 years ago I graduated from High School. I weighed 199lbs. That was the last time I saw the 100's.
Until today. I stepped on the scale and there it was....199 lbs.
I cried....tears of happiness, and relief, because that damn scale messed with me for days at 200lbs. and some odd ounces. LOL
I just really wanted to share this with everyone. Even if nobody responds. I'm so amazed at what I have done, so far.
My progress pictures are in my gallery.
146 lbs gone.
49 to go!

I wanted to say it here. Over 30 years ago I graduated from High School. I weighed 199lbs. That was the last time I saw the 100's.
Until today. I stepped on the scale and there it was....199 lbs.
I cried....tears of happiness, and relief, because that damn scale messed with me for days at 200lbs. and some odd ounces. LOL
I just really wanted to share this with everyone. Even if nobody responds. I'm so amazed at what I have done, so far.
My progress pictures are in my gallery.
146 lbs gone.
49 to go!

I wanted to say it here. Over 30 years ago I graduated from High School. I weighed 199lbs. That was the last time I saw the 100's.
Until today. I stepped on the scale and there it was....199 lbs.
I cried....tears of happiness, and relief, because that damn scale messed with me for days at 200lbs. and some odd ounces. LOL
I just really wanted to share this with everyone. Even if nobody responds. I'm so amazed at what I have done, so far.
My progress pictures are in my gallery.
146 lbs gone.
49 to go!

I'm currently in a similar situation. I'm also 25 years old and my best friend of 8 years doesn't support my decision to get the sleeve and has tried to discourage me and has even went as far as trying to sabotage my journey by using my food addiction. She's overweight as well, which makes sense as to why she's going to such great lengths and can't be fully happy for me.
My mom, who has been post op for 3 years, gave me some really good advice. Firstly, you're going to change because right now, you're not your best self. Secondly, this surgery can be an eye - opener. The friends you have at 300 lbs. may not be the friends you have at 140 lbs. It depends on what your friendship is built on. Most of my friendships are built around my food addiction and I didn't realize that until I started my journey. I didn't realize I was the "fat friend" or the "plus sized" friend people used to masquerade their insecurities or used to boost their self esteem. You're going to have to find a way to deal with the fact that your weight may be her security blanket. Thirdly, you don't need this stress before having surgery. Having elective surgery is stressful enough. You have made a life altering decision to have elective surgery, which isn't an easy decision. As I am learning, true friends are supportive even when they don't necessarily agree with your decisions. Maybe this is the perfect time to reevaluate your friendship and ask yourself "Is this a healthy friendship?" Your life is about to change for the better. You're taking steps to become your best self and you deserve to be around people that will Celebrate these things with you and will truly be happy for you. I hope I was able to help! Many blessings on your weight loss journey!
Love,
Gigi
Sent from my SM-N900T using the BariatricPal App

I'm so sorry you had to hear that from a friend who you supported in the same situation.
Luckily so far, the few friends I have shared that I had surgery with, have been very supportive. I have a lot of friends I went to college with, that have no clue, as I did not tell them, and they live all over the country. I don't plan on the big reveal, until I have met goal, and had the plastics my insurance will cover. Then I'll let the world know.
Honestly the harshest and most hurtful comments have come from my 2 younger sisters. I now hear things like...
"What are you going to do with all the wrinkles that will appear on your face, when you lose?" (although I don't see any more wrinkles now than I did 145 lbs ago) and "what are you going to do with that big deflated skin flap where your double chin was." (that one was true, it's there. I do exercises to try to help strengthen muscles in the area, it's about all I can do) They both know my insurance won't pay for that kind of cosmetic surgery, and I can't afford face surgery on my own.
Why they would even say those things to me, is mean in my opinion. At first they were supportive and the more I lose, the more biting the remarks get. One sister is average sized, and always has been, and the other fluctuates, and is big right now. She cuts me off everytime I want to talk about my progress. I guess it's just a reminder to her that she's ate her way back to almost bigger than me at this point. I can't help that, but I was hoping for more support.
We just have to keep doing what we are doing, and know envy and jealousy are things you will come across.
My thought would be if you confront her, is remind her how supportive you were of her and her surgery.
Yet again, this supports my argument, they just don't give enough help with food addiction issues in these bariatric programs.

I never really got excited. It's kind of like going to the dentist, you know it will be good for you, but there will be some discomfort along the way. Over the last 17 months post-op though, I have learned a lot about myself and the one thing I found to be key to my success in this process is a Positive Mental Attitude (PMA). Every day isn't rainbows and unicorns, and some days are 2 steps forward and one step back, but you have to still count the step forward. There were weeks when I busted my butt to follow the rules with little or no success and there were weeks that I was sure I wouldn't have lost an ounce and I was down 3 lbs. What matters is that you dont let those bad times remain in your mind too long. Listen to the people in charge of your care, ask questions, and follow the rules and you will succeed. Please keep us posted!

Wow! That is an awesome start and really shows your dedication to the process!

I wanted to say it here. Over 30 years ago I graduated from High School. I weighed 199lbs. That was the last time I saw the 100's.
Until today. I stepped on the scale and there it was....199 lbs.
I cried....tears of happiness, and relief, because that damn scale messed with me for days at 200lbs. and some odd ounces. LOL
I just really wanted to share this with everyone. Even if nobody responds. I'm so amazed at what I have done, so far.
My progress pictures are in my gallery.
146 lbs gone.
49 to go!

I was wondering how you feel closing in on your date? I am sorta blah heading into this week. I'm not sure if the nerves are counter acting the excitement or what.

I have lost close to 50lbs when they only asked me to lose 15lbs pre surgery. I am mentally ready for this. I understand there will be easy and hard times. I'm not worried about that either. I was just wondering if others were kinda blah and not too pumped up prior to the procedure.

Thanks! I have been eating clean, using a small plate, and drinking a gallon a day or close to it. I am dedicated and ready for this next chapter for sure.

It's only day 4 and I'm trying my hardest to hang in there. I remember someone else posting about head hunger and I tried to give him encouragement saying what I would do if I was in his shoes but I realize its waaaay more complicated than that. I get it now, I understand man. I'm not used to being long term hungry whatsoever and my mind and my body cannot stand this feeling. I have tried to cheat it, I eat several packets of my oatmeal and broth at a time, I've been sleeping a lot more to ignore it and keep myself busy.
I don't think it's mental, I feel my tummy actually yearning for food. I try to drink more fluids but I don't crave liquid at all (which is odd because I'm a soda addict and was chugging up to 8 cans or more a day ) I have to force myself to drink a single bottle of Water in a day. I know this is not good because when I have the surgery I'll need to try to get down 64oz of water daily. I've even started to crave the metal spoon I eat my oatmeal with and got an appetite for it, I've started thinking about eating my own fingers (which I won't but been chewing on them lol) but this is crazy!
I've been second guessing whether or not I'm ready for this surgery, thinking about how "happy" and fulfilled food made me feel and all the pleasure I take in eating. I know I need to have this surgery, I have too many problems not to. My life will not get any better if I don't. I really want a better quality of life which is why I want to do this. I'm sure this is only the first battle I just hope I can hang.

Oatmeal is allowed on pre-op liquid phase ?
That is a lot different than mine was. I was pretty much allowed 3-4 Premier (3 other approved varieties) shakes a day with a ton of Water or non-calorie drink.
I gutted it out but I did kill the diet sodas & Water.
This phase certainly sucks.....no ifs ands or buts about it.....sucks outright.
It passes quickly and then you are impressed with the weight loss you experienced during this phase and then onto the other side after surgery. Ironically, the same diet, when experienced on the other side, seems like a breeze. You can't believe you are there.....done.....so relieved to there.
Gut check time is now. You are amping up your weight loss efforts and will see great results during this.....and roll into surgery already on a great rate of loss.
Get yourself some water flavoring and make peace with drinking water. The Dasani grape flavored water is something I found that was really good.....give some of these flavored versions a try.
It sucks. It seems to be necessary. It'll lead towards a safer surgery.
You've got this.

I think it's good you are questioning if you are ready for surgery. I say that, because I think some people go into this unprepared.
I see it all the time here, head hunger. I can safely assure you even though many don't admit it, if we're to the point of having surgery. We have food addiction issues.
I took a year, before surgery and got into intensive therapy. Because I am a food addict. That's how I got to 345lbs. I weighed more than that in my life too. I am just like any other addict. (I am disabled, so I don't drive, and rely on others to take me shopping) I hid my consumption from others, even the food I was buying in my cart. I lied to people about what I was eating. Or that I was making food for others, and it was really all for me. Whole batches of cupcakes and pans of Enchiladas or enough donuts, chips and Snacks to kill an elephant loaded in my cart, was explained away as food for an upcoming party. I started panicking when I was getting low on my favorite foods. I, an out of control diabetic, was eating extremely carb heavy meals, topped off with 3 cupcakes and big glass of milk, and would sit on the sofa....and start nodding out like a heroin addict. I'd sleep for hours, wake, repeat. That was my life. Trust me, I am so aware I could fall off that wagon at any time. Emotional upsets tend to set me off...but, with the help of my therapist who I still see, twice a month, helped me find other things to replace that good feeling I got from nodding out on the sofa. Now, that I am 50 lbs away from my goal...I am so determined, and have said goodbye to not only 145lbs, but all those huge clothes that used to hang in my closet. Along with all those bad eating habits I had. Gone, but not forgotten. I kept the outfit I wore the day of my surgery, as a remembrance of where I came from.
My surgeon told me, I shouldn't experience physical hunger, and for the past 10 months he's been right. I have not had physical hunger since my surgery. He did his job.
I did my job too, because I have not had head hunger either. That was because I worked through the what's and why's. What happened in my life that made me want to eat my emotions? What was missing in me that made me want to fill it up with food? Why couldn't I stop on my own? I had a LOT to face. More than most of these bariatric programs ever even attempt to cover with their psych evaluations. Sorry, 1 test, and an hour with a Psychologist is NOT enough.
So, yes, ask yourself if you are ready, because the head hunger, that's probably not going to go away. In my opinion, you really need to get that in check. I'm not being mean or harsh, just real with you.
I wish you luck with everything.
If you really want this....it's yours.

I think it's good you are questioning if you are ready for surgery. I say that, because I think some people go into this unprepared.
I see it all the time here, head hunger. I can safely assure you even though many don't admit it, if we're to the point of having surgery. We have food addiction issues.
I took a year, before surgery and got into intensive therapy. Because I am a food addict. That's how I got to 345lbs. I weighed more than that in my life too. I am just like any other addict. (I am disabled, so I don't drive, and rely on others to take me shopping) I hid my consumption from others, even the food I was buying in my cart. I lied to people about what I was eating. Or that I was making food for others, and it was really all for me. Whole batches of cupcakes and pans of Enchiladas or enough donuts, chips and Snacks to kill an elephant loaded in my cart, was explained away as food for an upcoming party. I started panicking when I was getting low on my favorite foods. I, an out of control diabetic, was eating extremely carb heavy meals, topped off with 3 cupcakes and big glass of milk, and would sit on the sofa....and start nodding out like a heroin addict. I'd sleep for hours, wake, repeat. That was my life. Trust me, I am so aware I could fall off that wagon at any time. Emotional upsets tend to set me off...but, with the help of my therapist who I still see, twice a month, helped me find other things to replace that good feeling I got from nodding out on the sofa. Now, that I am 50 lbs away from my goal...I am so determined, and have said goodbye to not only 145lbs, but all those huge clothes that used to hang in my closet. Along with all those bad eating habits I had. Gone, but not forgotten. I kept the outfit I wore the day of my surgery, as a remembrance of where I came from.
My surgeon told me, I shouldn't experience physical hunger, and for the past 10 months he's been right. I have not had physical hunger since my surgery. He did his job.
I did my job too, because I have not had head hunger either. That was because I worked through the what's and why's. What happened in my life that made me want to eat my emotions? What was missing in me that made me want to fill it up with food? Why couldn't I stop on my own? I had a LOT to face. More than most of these bariatric programs ever even attempt to cover with their psych evaluations. Sorry, 1 test, and an hour with a Psychologist is NOT enough.
So, yes, ask yourself if you are ready, because the head hunger, that's probably not going to go away. In my opinion, you really need to get that in check. I'm not being mean or harsh, just real with you.
I wish you luck with everything.
If you really want this....it's yours.

I think it's good you are questioning if you are ready for surgery. I say that, because I think some people go into this unprepared.
I see it all the time here, head hunger. I can safely assure you even though many don't admit it, if we're to the point of having surgery. We have food addiction issues.
I took a year, before surgery and got into intensive therapy. Because I am a food addict. That's how I got to 345lbs. I weighed more than that in my life too. I am just like any other addict. (I am disabled, so I don't drive, and rely on others to take me shopping) I hid my consumption from others, even the food I was buying in my cart. I lied to people about what I was eating. Or that I was making food for others, and it was really all for me. Whole batches of cupcakes and pans of Enchiladas or enough donuts, chips and Snacks to kill an elephant loaded in my cart, was explained away as food for an upcoming party. I started panicking when I was getting low on my favorite foods. I, an out of control diabetic, was eating extremely carb heavy meals, topped off with 3 cupcakes and big glass of milk, and would sit on the sofa....and start nodding out like a heroin addict. I'd sleep for hours, wake, repeat. That was my life. Trust me, I am so aware I could fall off that wagon at any time. Emotional upsets tend to set me off...but, with the help of my therapist who I still see, twice a month, helped me find other things to replace that good feeling I got from nodding out on the sofa. Now, that I am 50 lbs away from my goal...I am so determined, and have said goodbye to not only 145lbs, but all those huge clothes that used to hang in my closet. Along with all those bad eating habits I had. Gone, but not forgotten. I kept the outfit I wore the day of my surgery, as a remembrance of where I came from.
My surgeon told me, I shouldn't experience physical hunger, and for the past 10 months he's been right. I have not had physical hunger since my surgery. He did his job.
I did my job too, because I have not had head hunger either. That was because I worked through the what's and why's. What happened in my life that made me want to eat my emotions? What was missing in me that made me want to fill it up with food? Why couldn't I stop on my own? I had a LOT to face. More than most of these bariatric programs ever even attempt to cover with their psych evaluations. Sorry, 1 test, and an hour with a Psychologist is NOT enough.
So, yes, ask yourself if you are ready, because the head hunger, that's probably not going to go away. In my opinion, you really need to get that in check. I'm not being mean or harsh, just real with you.
I wish you luck with everything.
If you really want this....it's yours.

If a person has certain desires and their partner is unable or unwilling to meet those desires, it can be a big blow to the ego of that person, especially if it is something that people consider common like oral sex, and their partner refuses to do it. /r/deadbedroom offers a lot of insight into this, you can read about what sexual incompatibility does to relationships and people from both perspectives.
So your husband probably has a lot of resentment over his needs not being met and he is being an ass and going out of his way to make you jealous as payback.
As other people have said, you have to cut off contact with him. I can't imagine how hard that is to do after all these years, but if you can go a few weeks with no contact with him, it will do you both a lot of good.

Basic questions: Why would you love someone who treats you that way?
Why are you still communicating with him? (unless exchange of children is involved).
The best thing you can do is walk away and don't look back. You have so much potential for happiness and peace of mind ahead of you.
One excuse is as good as another when you don't want to do something. It could have been because you burned the toast or he doesn't like for you to wear the color blue.......who knows. He does not want to be there, so kick him to the curb, already.
Don't let him suck away your joy. He is a joy-sucker. And by the way, forcing someone to perform sexual acts that they don't want to, is a crime.

Basic questions: Why would you love someone who treats you that way?
Why are you still communicating with him? (unless exchange of children is involved).
The best thing you can do is walk away and don't look back. You have so much potential for happiness and peace of mind ahead of you.
One excuse is as good as another when you don't want to do something. It could have been because you burned the toast or he doesn't like for you to wear the color blue.......who knows. He does not want to be there, so kick him to the curb, already.
Don't let him suck away your joy. He is a joy-sucker. And by the way, forcing someone to perform sexual acts that they don't want to, is a crime.

One of my long term relationships ended over sexual incompatibility. I agree that he probably should have brought it up much sooner. Sex is a pretty important component of most romantic relationships, so if it's not working and can't be fixed, I think it's perfectly justifiable to move on. I'm sorry you are having a rough time cutting ties with him, though. I can understand that you have probably shared almost everything for 12 years and suddenly not having that person to talk to can be a real challenge. I have been there too. I hope you can work through it and past it with time. You can find other friends and outlets for your emotions. And even if you continue to stay in touch (I do with all of my exes), it can be a more disconnected way that allows you both to freely move on with your separate lives.

I'm from Wisconsin, we love our cheese here!
My favorites tend to be the sharper cheeses. I love it as sharp as I can get it.
I don't think I could add to any of the lists here, but I didn't see anyone say Cottage cheese. I love it. There are so many foods I used to love, that I can't stand now after surgery, but I'm so glad I can still tolerate cottage cheese, with a little fresh dill or chives chopped in, perfection! High in Protein and so yummy.
Emmentaler and Gruyere are perfect for fondue, too! Dip veggies instead of bread, and oh my, what a treat! It's something on my list of things to do in the future. It's been quite some time since I have had fondue. I wouldn't be able to eat much, but it would be tasty!

I'm from Wisconsin, we love our cheese here!
My favorites tend to be the sharper cheeses. I love it as sharp as I can get it.
I don't think I could add to any of the lists here, but I didn't see anyone say Cottage cheese. I love it. There are so many foods I used to love, that I can't stand now after surgery, but I'm so glad I can still tolerate cottage cheese, with a little fresh dill or chives chopped in, perfection! High in Protein and so yummy.
Emmentaler and Gruyere are perfect for fondue, too! Dip veggies instead of bread, and oh my, what a treat! It's something on my list of things to do in the future. It's been quite some time since I have had fondue. I wouldn't be able to eat much, but it would be tasty!

I'm from Wisconsin, we love our cheese here!
My favorites tend to be the sharper cheeses. I love it as sharp as I can get it.
I don't think I could add to any of the lists here, but I didn't see anyone say Cottage cheese. I love it. There are so many foods I used to love, that I can't stand now after surgery, but I'm so glad I can still tolerate cottage cheese, with a little fresh dill or chives chopped in, perfection! High in Protein and so yummy.
Emmentaler and Gruyere are perfect for fondue, too! Dip veggies instead of bread, and oh my, what a treat! It's something on my list of things to do in the future. It's been quite some time since I have had fondue. I wouldn't be able to eat much, but it would be tasty!