Inner Surfer Girl

You aren't a failure. I am not a failure. Our bodies needs are just not compatible with the modern food-abundant society. We evolved to survive times of famine. Unfortunately (or fortunately) most of us in developed countries will never have to experience true famine. Our bodies are not aware of this.

I understand. I have been too large for most hospital equipment for several years and learned to check ahead. I have had to educate so many people in healthcare. For instance my old HMO would send me for tests, I would ask that they check on weight limits, etc, they would assure me that I would fit, I would arrive for the test, and sure enough would be over the weight limit, and then have to start over.
It is a pain.
Sometimes, it is not even the equipment but in the training of the staff.
As people's weights in this country increase, this is an issue that will become more critical.

Do you have a counselor or therapist?
This is a big change physically, mentally, and emotionally.
If you have been used to managing your feelings and moods, depression and anxiety with food you have got to learn some new, healthy ways to cope.
Please find a counselor or therapist to talk to.
See if you can find a bariatric support group and/or 12-step recovery group like OA (OA.org).
Follow your program.
In the meantime, try taking a walk and getting some sunshine.
I also recommend that you read a book like Eat it Up! by Connie Stapleton or When food is Love by Geneen Roth.
You will get through this, and it is ok to cry.
Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

I made a decision at my first post-op follow-up appointment not to share numbers with people. I told my family that I wouldn't be sharing that information so they now know not to even ask that question.
They can see my progress and I am pretty open and frank about every thing else. The number on the scale is no one else's business, and really isn't even mine.

I definitely agree that both pre-and post-op, the stall is discouraging.
I certainly remember many times hearing my doctors and weight watcher people questioning why I wasn't losing weight when I was following the plan. That is definitely when I would give up and say, if restricting my food and enduring this deprivation doesn't work, why even try.
Thankfully, now, for me, giving up isn't an option.
Now that I have learned so much more about how my body works I have more patience. It makes me so much more willing and able to see a stall as an important and necessary part of the process. Not something to be feared or avoided. Plus, I don't weigh often enough to actually observe many stalls.
On retrospect, if I knew this 30-40 years ago, I MAY have saved myself from decades of yo-yo dieting and super morbid obesity.

https://medium.com/@thefatshadow/on-tough-love-and-your-fat-friend-s-health-bec20b13af78#.1q5kwgvpu
This is an excellent and moving essay.

I have struggled with eating issues my whole life. I truly believe that the work I have done (therapy, OA, etc.) up to now is why I have had such a positive experience with my surgery and recovery.
I have observed that many of the people who have the most difficulty are those who have not done any psychological work related to food issues: whether due to addiction, eating disorders, or just dealing with stress and life.
WLS is a major change and is extremely stressful. Without healthy coping skills and support, it is even more so.

Good luck!
I try to keep my WLS life separate from my Facebook/social media life.

I was sleeved April 20, 2015 by Dr. Weiss at Georgetown. I live in Danville. Welcome!

My year has been great. Miracles do happen. I am getting my mobility and my life back.

It isn't quite panera, but ProtiDiet Tomato basil Soup (and ProtiDiet creamy chicken) really helped me get through the liquid phases.

It seems that at least 50% of the posts on BariatriPal are bemoaning a stall. Daily, and sometimes hourly, I am reading about how someone ONLY lost x number of pounds and now the scale hasn't moved in ___ [fill in the blank] days/months, etc. Oh no, they write, I am a failure/unique/my surgery didn't work/life is not fair, ... Why am I in a stall?
I know I am exaggerating but I think you get the idea.
Guess what? STALLS are a NORMAL part of the PROCESS of losing weight. If you want to lose weight, you will stall. Not just once, but over and over. And, guess what? A stall is where your body actually does the hard work of becoming smaller. It takes a lot of work and energy to dismantle a structure that has been holding up, in some cases, hundreds of pounds.
For those who think they have to DO something to somehow "break a stall" (in my opinion, you do not break a stall, you just ride them out), here is my response:
What can you do to "break" a stall?
1) STAY OFF THE SCALE
Relax and stay off the scale if it bothers you so much. Weigh no more than once a week, or even less often. Weighing only at your doctor's appointments early in the process is a good strategy if your mood and self-worth are dictated by the numbers on the scale.
2) PICK UP A TAPE MEASURE
In addition to using the numbers on the scale to measure your progress, take your measurements. Inches lost are also a great way to see physical progress when the scale isn't moving. Most people see the biggest physical changes in their body when the scale seems stuck.
3) TRACK YOUR Protein AND Water AND MEET OR EXCEED YOUR PROTEIN AND WATER GOAL EVERY DAY
As long as you are getting in all your protein and water and following your NUT and surgeon's instructions, you are doing what you are supposed to do.
If you aren't getting in all your protein and water, then increasing your protein and water is something you can do (and should be doing anyway whether or not you are in a stall).
4) EXERCISE
If you aren't exercising, then you can exercise (and should be whether or not you are in a stall). You can start slowly by walking or even moving more around the house. Exercising will help you feel better, tone your skin and build fat-burning muscle.
5) MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOUR NUT
If you are unsure or unclear about what you are supposed to be, or should not be eating, then make an appointment with your NUT (which you should be doing whether or not you are in a stall).
6) REASSESS AND REEVALUATE
About the only good result I see that comes from complaining about a stall is when you take an honest look at what you are doing and realign with the program recommended by your NUT and surgeon. Have you started eating more outside of your plan? Are you restricting calories? Are you eating enough carbs and protein for your exercise? Are you taking your Vitamins? Are you eating often enough? Are you eating slowly with protein first? Sometimes, all you need to DO is go back to basics.
7) JOURNAL
One of the biggest things I have noticed from the various posts is how anxious and out-of-control some people feel when they notice a stall. Journaling can help you gain some perspective and deal with some of the emotional turmoil.
-- Write about how you are feeling about the stall and your weight loss, and surgery in general.
-- Write about why you had the surgery in the first place.
-- Write about what life was like before surgery.
-- Write about what you hope and dream about accomplishing in the future.
-- Write about your fears.
-- Write about your NSVs.
-- Make a gratitude list.
-- Make a bucket list.
-- Write a letter to your old self; write a letter to your new self.
Just write.
8) SEEK HELP
Stalls are when too many people seem to revert to old, counterproductive dieting behaviors (restricting calories, over exercising, bingeing, etc.). If this is you, then another thing you can DO is to talk to a counselor or therapist or consider joining a bariatric support group or a twelve-step group like Overeater's Anonymous.
The discomfort of being in a stall can also drive people to develop new, unhealthy coping habits or even transfer addictions. This is where you want to marshall all the resources you have available to you and use them.
The last, and most important thing you can DO is:
9) EMBRACE THE STALL
Stalls are a normal and natural part of the process.
Our bodies are complex systems and not simple machines.
Stalls go hand-in-hand with weight loss.
If you had Weight Loss Surgery, then you probably want to lose a significant amount of weight. So, get ready to embrace the many stalls you will experience as your body is transformed. It will be worth it.

It seems that at least 50% of the posts on BariatriPal are bemoaning a stall. Daily, and sometimes hourly, I am reading about how someone ONLY lost x number of pounds and now the scale hasn't moved in ___ [fill in the blank] days/months, etc. Oh no, they write, I am a failure/unique/my surgery didn't work/life is not fair, ... Why am I in a stall?
I know I am exaggerating but I think you get the idea.
Guess what? STALLS are a NORMAL part of the PROCESS of losing weight. If you want to lose weight, you will stall. Not just once, but over and over. And, guess what? A stall is where your body actually does the hard work of becoming smaller. It takes a lot of work and energy to dismantle a structure that has been holding up, in some cases, hundreds of pounds.
For those who think they have to DO something to somehow "break a stall" (in my opinion, you do not break a stall, you just ride them out), here is my response:
What can you do to "break" a stall?
1) STAY OFF THE SCALE
Relax and stay off the scale if it bothers you so much. Weigh no more than once a week, or even less often. Weighing only at your doctor's appointments early in the process is a good strategy if your mood and self-worth are dictated by the numbers on the scale.
2) PICK UP A TAPE MEASURE
In addition to using the numbers on the scale to measure your progress, take your measurements. Inches lost are also a great way to see physical progress when the scale isn't moving. Most people see the biggest physical changes in their body when the scale seems stuck.
3) TRACK YOUR Protein AND Water AND MEET OR EXCEED YOUR PROTEIN AND WATER GOAL EVERY DAY
As long as you are getting in all your protein and water and following your NUT and surgeon's instructions, you are doing what you are supposed to do.
If you aren't getting in all your protein and water, then increasing your protein and water is something you can do (and should be doing anyway whether or not you are in a stall).
4) EXERCISE
If you aren't exercising, then you can exercise (and should be whether or not you are in a stall). You can start slowly by walking or even moving more around the house. Exercising will help you feel better, tone your skin and build fat-burning muscle.
5) MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOUR NUT
If you are unsure or unclear about what you are supposed to be, or should not be eating, then make an appointment with your NUT (which you should be doing whether or not you are in a stall).
6) REASSESS AND REEVALUATE
About the only good result I see that comes from complaining about a stall is when you take an honest look at what you are doing and realign with the program recommended by your NUT and surgeon. Have you started eating more outside of your plan? Are you restricting calories? Are you eating enough carbs and protein for your exercise? Are you taking your Vitamins? Are you eating often enough? Are you eating slowly with protein first? Sometimes, all you need to DO is go back to basics.
7) JOURNAL
One of the biggest things I have noticed from the various posts is how anxious and out-of-control some people feel when they notice a stall. Journaling can help you gain some perspective and deal with some of the emotional turmoil.
-- Write about how you are feeling about the stall and your weight loss, and surgery in general.
-- Write about why you had the surgery in the first place.
-- Write about what life was like before surgery.
-- Write about what you hope and dream about accomplishing in the future.
-- Write about your fears.
-- Write about your NSVs.
-- Make a gratitude list.
-- Make a bucket list.
-- Write a letter to your old self; write a letter to your new self.
Just write.
8) SEEK HELP
Stalls are when too many people seem to revert to old, counterproductive dieting behaviors (restricting calories, over exercising, bingeing, etc.). If this is you, then another thing you can DO is to talk to a counselor or therapist or consider joining a bariatric support group or a twelve-step group like Overeater's Anonymous.
The discomfort of being in a stall can also drive people to develop new, unhealthy coping habits or even transfer addictions. This is where you want to marshall all the resources you have available to you and use them.
The last, and most important thing you can DO is:
9) EMBRACE THE STALL
Stalls are a normal and natural part of the process.
Our bodies are complex systems and not simple machines.
Stalls go hand-in-hand with weight loss.
If you had Weight Loss Surgery, then you probably want to lose a significant amount of weight. So, get ready to embrace the many stalls you will experience as your body is transformed. It will be worth it.

I hope you find someone and that you are able to keep an open mind, too.
I just think going into this expecting to go against your surgeon's orders and wanting someone who will enable you in that doesn't sound like a very wise strategy in my opinion.
Best of luck in your journey. Keep posting your questions, concerns, and issues. There is a wealth of experience, knowledge, and encouragement to be found on this site.
I would highly recommend you see if you can find a counselor or therapist to work with who is familiar with bariatric patients if at all possible.

I am single, live alone, and have a very small kitchen.
I do cook more now than I did pre-op but still live on a lot of easy things like yogurt, cottage cheese, turkey, tuna, etc.
I have started grilling more vegetables in my toaster oven. Add a Protein to some grilled vegetables and it's a feast!

@@Kindle, I forgive you!
I know it gets aggravating to keep repeating the same thing over and over (I think someone called my response "canned" one time). But, it's hard to remember what it was like when we were new. I hope that whether this is the first post you ever read or the 5,000th, you can find something helpful, even if it's just a reminder of how far you have come or a smile of recognition.
By the way, if you are a newby reading this for the first time, @@Kindle has quite a success story with lots of great advice and experience.

I agree with @Babbs. Also, are you getting in all of your Protein and fluids. Eating enough Protein will keep you satisfied longer and we often mistake thirst for hunger.
If you are hungry, try drinking more Water. If you are still hungry, have a small, protein rich snack.< /p>
Be sure and avoid starches and sugar which will make you crave starches and sugar.

Here is a good article about differences in men am women's communication styles and the importance of asking questions (and listening to the answers I presume).
http://qz.com/628724/the-gendered-way-weve-learned-to-ask-questions-is-terrible-for-both-men-and-women/?utm_source=atlfb

Welcome! And congratulations on deciding to take such a big step. You are in for quite an adventure!

As you may have noticed, I respond to a lot of posts with Embrace the Stall!
http://BariatricPal.com/index.php?/topic/351046-Embrace-the-Stall
I got tired of responding to the same posts multiple times a day and so wrote one long post with the information I have gathered and what works for me and others as it relates to stalls.
I don't see the need for educating people about stalls to lessen anytime soon, but I would like to hear from YOU some of the good things that happened while you were in a stall.
I'll start.
I am grateful that during my last stall, I: dropped a bathing suit size; increased my lap swimming to 1 hour, several times a week and have gotten faster and stronger; am able to get in and out of my car more easily; and no longer need a seatbelt extender.
How about you?

I know for a fact the Coca-Cola company is no longer benefitting from me.

I was at a local restaurant today and apparently, they had one chocolate cookie left (I hadn't noticed). They offered me the cookie and my first response was "no thank you". No thought, no desire, no regret...before WLS that would NEVER have happened.