Cindi_Augustine

Body dysmorphia is about as common as rain in my beautiful city of Vancouver, BC. LOL It can often take the brain a long time to accept and interpret what the eyes see in a more honest way. The best way to approach it is to battle it head on.
Try on clothes that actually fit and flatter you, and don't dismiss it when people compliment you. Look in the mirror - REALLY look in the mirror. Don't look away. Make friends with yourself. Rephrase the automatic negative thoughts that enter your head. Our inner voice has a major influence on our perception. If we repeat the negative, bullying, things we've heard from others we'll believe them even more. Don't allow yourself to bully yourself, shut that garbage down as soon as you catch yourself doing it. In time, and with mindful self-care your brain will re-program itself.
Trust me, we've all been there. There IS a way out.

I do the Protein smoothie popsicles. vanilla protein mixed with almond milk and blended with fruit. It's not ice-cream but it IS refreshing, filling, and helps me win the TV night snack battle.

I lost a few more lbs after this but this was the dream photo I'd been dying to have.

I lost a few more lbs after this but this was the dream photo I'd been dying to have.

I lost a few more lbs after this but this was the dream photo I'd been dying to have.

I've been sick about twice since my surgery - surgery was about 4 years ago - and it was painful. It was a good lesson and I'm far more careful now. Like some of the others it was more about what I ate and how fast. Some foods just don't fill up the sleeve quite as fast as others. I had 3 bites of chicken breast and broccoli last night and handed it over to my hubby. My sleeve just said: Nope, not one more bite, or else! ::sigh:: But, on a treat day when I make popcorn I could go on eating and eating, like I never had surgery. Dangerous!
Post-op will be much easier with your partner doing it too, that's fantastic! Best of luck to you two, and your mom.

Here's my answer to that: Who am I cheating? Who's hosting the competition? Who wrote the rules? What's the prize?
Seriously, it's a ridiculous flawed concept. I refuse to even legitimize it.

I lost a few more lbs after this but this was the dream photo I'd been dying to have.

I lost a few more lbs after this but this was the dream photo I'd been dying to have.

What are you struggling with?

I relate to this, a lot. I was always a people pleaser, never stood up for myself because I felt it was the only way to get people to like the fat me. It's taken a while but I have learned to be assertive, and not to undermine my own happiness by giving in to others. I am far from mean, but I am not the apologetic, submissive person who was always hiding her light and letting others shine. Counselling is a great option if the transition gets rocky. Best of luck!

I relate to this, a lot. I was always a people pleaser, never stood up for myself because I felt it was the only way to get people to like the fat me. It's taken a while but I have learned to be assertive, and not to undermine my own happiness by giving in to others. I am far from mean, but I am not the apologetic, submissive person who was always hiding her light and letting others shine. Counselling is a great option if the transition gets rocky. Best of luck!

I relate to this, a lot. I was always a people pleaser, never stood up for myself because I felt it was the only way to get people to like the fat me. It's taken a while but I have learned to be assertive, and not to undermine my own happiness by giving in to others. I am far from mean, but I am not the apologetic, submissive person who was always hiding her light and letting others shine. Counselling is a great option if the transition gets rocky. Best of luck!

I'm in agreement, even though I'm a Starbucks fan. Perhaps they feel they must compete with McDonald's and all the other places that offer ice-cream style drinks, but really all these food companies are enablers. Sure, they can say they don't force you to buy them, and that's true, but it shows a lack of compassion for the obesity crisis, for sure.
Even their regular frappes contain almost a third of my allowed calories for a day, that's one meal with no nutritional benefits. Yikes!!!

Starbucks debuted its Unicorn Frappuccino amidst much fanfare. The chain advertises its drink as a way of bringing the mythical animal from its hiding places in enchanted forests to real life as customers enjoy the imaginative blend. It is a drink that starts out purple with blue swirls, and changes to pink as you swirl it.


Unicorns are symbols of healing and peaceful strength, but what kind of magic do you get from a Unicorn Frappuccino? It is not the magic you want as a weight loss surgery patient. Here is the truth about the drink that is less magical than it is terrifying. To set the stage, let us tell you that an actual health department warned consumers about the drink on its Facebook page!
Does This Drink Make My Butt Look Big?
Well, yeah, kinda. The standard 16-oz Grande Frappuccino with whole milk and whipped cream has 410 calories. That may be a third or more of your daily goal, and those calories are not from filling nutrients. Most of them are from simple sugars that spike your blood sugar levels and lead to hunger within an hour or two. Cave into your craving for the 24-oz Venti blend, and you are looking at 500 calories. they are not the filling kind.
Sugar for a Day…or Week
The real problem here is the sugar. The exceedingly high sugar content is no surprise when you consider that sugar is an ingredient in the drink’s combination of Frappuccino Syrup, mango syrup, blue drizzle, and classic syrup. The default Grande with whole milk has 59 grams of sugar. To put this into perspective, that is about twice the maximum amount of added sugars you should have in a day according to experts including the World Health Organization and the American Heart Association.
Sugar has empty calories without essential nutrients; it bumps up your blood sugar and is linked to diabetes, and it makes weight loss even harder because it leads to more sugar and carb cravings. The lowest sugar version is an improvement, but still nothing to brag about. A tall 12-oz Unicorn Frappuccino made with almond milk has 33 grams of sugar, still more than your daily maximum goal.
Where Is the Protein?
As a weight loss surgery patient, you are probably aiming for at least 65 grams of filling protein per day. A simple rule of thumb when choosing your healthy foods and beverages is to make sure you get at least 2 grams of protein for every gram of sugar. A Unicorn Frappuccino is not going to help much! When you get a Grande, you are getting only 5 grams of protein – so you should limit sugar to 2.5 grams, not the 59 grams of sugar that are actually in the drink! You would really need some unicorn magic to help you justify that kind of choice
Beware Dumping Syndrome
Unicorn horns are reputed to be powerful antidotes to toxins, but this drink might put you in search of some magical healing powers! If you are prone to dumping syndrome, especially after gastric sleeve or gastric bypass surgery, beware the Unicorn Frappuccino. Besides weight loss and cravings, there is another reason your surgeon and nutritionist suggest limiting sugar intake: dumping syndrome. If you are prone, you might want to take your Frappuccino back home before you start drinking it, because you may want to be pretty close to a bathroom!
Delicious and Nutritious Alternatives
Weight loss-wise, you can do way better than a Unicorn Frappuccino without feeling deprived. If you want the taste of mango, try an Aloha Mango Smoothie. Blue Raspberry Protein Drink may do the trick if you want sweet and tart. Vanilla Cappuccino can give you the sweet, creamy flavor that can take you to a fantasy land. Each of these choices has 15 grams of protein and no more than 4 grams of protein. Now that is magic!

I'm not saying this is the same thing as what you are experiencing at all, but this is my experience. As I am losing weight there are a good many people who would say that I have changed for the worse because I no longer tolerate the way they treat me. I will not allow people to marginalize me or make me feel a certain kind of way because they have bad attitudes. I have mouth shut for many years about rude things that people have said to me or implied because I "didn't want to rock the boat". With those people...I have changed into a total monster.
With all the others, quite the opposite. I'm more outgoing. I've always been friendly, but I'm not as apprehensive about asking them about their lives and experiences. I'm less shy and I am always up for a fun time.
I am different, but I like this different.

Have you had your labs checked lately? You could have Vitamin deficiencies. Go to your doctor right away to figure this out.

I lost a few more lbs after this but this was the dream photo I'd been dying to have.

I lost a few more lbs after this but this was the dream photo I'd been dying to have.

Here's my answer to that: Who am I cheating? Who's hosting the competition? Who wrote the rules? What's the prize?
Seriously, it's a ridiculous flawed concept. I refuse to even legitimize it.

I still feel chubby, and while no one else may notice the muffin top, I do.
I think partly it takes time. For so long, we've seen our bodies and our selves as the same thing, and our bodies change faster than our conception of self.
I don't have advice, except to be charitable and patient with yourself. Do things or wear things you never would have before. Force yourself out of your comfort zone.
If you haven't yet, consider a support group or professional counseling.

Very often people become obese from eating their feelings...depression, anxiety, anger...and when food is not a drug to self-medicate those feelings have to come out. It's a shame she didn't get therapy while losing the weight, but do not believe for one minute that the anger wasn't there before...she was likely burying (eating) it.
You can't force her to get therapy, but you can seek out support for yourself, to deal with hers, and to reassure yourself that you won't be overwhelmed during recovery. If you can get her into family therapy with you, so much the better.
I hope things get better. Best of luck.

Here's my answer to that: Who am I cheating? Who's hosting the competition? Who wrote the rules? What's the prize?
Seriously, it's a ridiculous flawed concept. I refuse to even legitimize it.

I found the book The End Of Overeating really useful. Dr. K. points out that it's not 100% willpower, and those who try to depend on willpower alone likely fail at getting control of their eating. Sugar salt, and fats affect us neurologically, and are as addictive as tobacco, alcohol and other drugs. I write a bit about it on my blog but this is the link to Amazon. I did search and find it at my library, as an ebook, as well.
We can't do it alone and asking for help is the intelligent thing to do!
Hang in there!!

There's a few obvious strategies, of course, like not having the problem foods in the house if possible. But that's not always something we can control. It really is about the proven neurological effect sugar, salt, and fat has on our brains. Once I understood that, through books and documentaries, I had better coping strategies, because, let's be honest, willpower never works alone.
Some people go cold turkey off those things, others wean themselves off, and some learn how to portion them in a way that doesn't trigger cravings.
Add that to counselling, and you have the psychological tools to go with the physical one of WLS.
Keep posting here, and keep moving forward. You can do it.