Vtsoutherngal

Awesome!!!

imma post this again. it seems sometimes people get so focused on what others are doing, they lose sight of why they actually come to bariatric pal in the first place.
this is probably the worst analogy to use for us, but, here it goes.... when you go to a buffet and there is a dish there you dont like, do you get angry and rage at the chef for making and offering you something you dont like? do you feel offended and take it personally? do you feel like the chef's choice was made specifically as a way to hurt you? do you feel so hurt you tell the chef you can only eat the other food if he/she stops making all the food you dont care for? probably not.
most likely what you do is say, "oh what is that over there that i do like?" and you move on to choose the dishes you do like. you dont let those dishes you dont like ruin your meal or wreck the enjoyment of the food you do like.
online forums are exactly the same way. people will offer you all kinds of things. you get to pick and choose what you want to take in. you need not get angry, enraged, offended, take it personal, or allow it to wreck your experience here at bariatric pal. take what you want, leave the rest. of course its your choice. but ultimately, your experience here is your responsibility, no one else's..... only you can choose your attitude.

For JustWatchMe,
The magic is in you, not the band. It's a tool, like a hammer. A hammer doesn't make a beautiful table. A carpenter does. You are the carpenter. You have the free will to make gorgeous furniture or smash your thumb! Make beautiful furniture with your tool.

Prior to Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) I had never considered that my relationship with food was unloving to my body and my spirit. I just knew I had impulses deep within me for comfort that food seemed to sooth and that I couldn't seem to "control" and I knew my body was unhealthy because of them. I would start the day at 7:00am when the alarm sounded and with my first semi-conscious thought I'd think, "Today's the day I change it all!" That thought would be followed within moments by the dreadful thought, "I wonder how long I'll make it today before I screw it all up? 9:30 a.m.? 10:30 a.m.?"


Because, without exception, the thought always came that I was destined to screw it up. It was only a matter of time. So I was unloving toward myself with this thought too. Then, when at whatever hour I did "screw up," the thoughts came about being a failure; a fat, out-of-control, slovenly failure! After WLS this continued and was often worse, since the pressure was "on" to lose and not regain. Everyone knew I'd had surgery and would know I was a failure on a whole new level if I didn't lose or regained. How's that for unloving thinking?
WLS surgery may prevent, for a while, the eating of large meals but it does not remove from us the need to break unhealthy patterns of thought or behavior with food and create healthy loving patterns in their place. When this work is not done a new kind of hellish relationship with food can begin and along with it continue all those unloving thoughts, which actually get worse much of the time.
On Message Boards and on Facebook I'm reading posts from people who have recently received surgery and are surprised to discover how much of the work they must still do, rather than the surgery doing the work. There are also the posts from people who received surgery months, even years in the past, who are struggling with unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. Often, these are new behaviors that came into existence when the path to the pre-surgery behavior is blocked by the anatomical changes of surgery.
When an RNY patient post-op tries to eat a plate of french fries and reports being drawn to fried foods, even more than before surgery although there is physical pain each time, that is a new unloving, unhealthy behavior. When a LapBand patient considers "productive burping" or PBing a positive way to enjoy food and then vomit it without digesting and absorbing calories or nutrients that is a new unloving, unhealthy behavior. When a WLS patient stops exercising and stops eating Protein and vegetables first and foremost, relying on liquid forms of caffeine and sugar for energy, that is a new unhealthy behavior.
I know this experience firsthand. When I was newly "banded" in 2003 I would enjoy eating 2 shrimp and know that eating the third shrimp, which I of course ate, would bring-on pain and vomiting. Every meal ended at the railing of my deck with me vomiting into my backyard and I actually thought that was a good thing! I got to enjoy the shrimp and then...it was gone! Within 2 years I was living on liquids, with tight LapBand adjustments so that a sip of coffee sat uncomfortably in my stoma for many minutes before dribbling down. Eventually I ate large meals anyway so my esophagus became distended and stretched and is now capable of storing a large meal above the LapBand.
These surgeries are not cure-alls, as we are all warned before we receive them. I am shocked by how much we, me included, don't heed the warnings and find ourselves wandering down new, dangerous paths. If this is happening to you it is vitally important to work with someone who can help you with your thought patterns and behaviors. You can do this with a therapist, a nutritionist, a Certified Life Coach specializing in Bariatrics or a great support group. It is vital to create a place where it is safe for you to get help early with any unhealthy new behaviors that arise before they do real damage to the body and become entrenched in your mind.
Being morbidly obese is just an outward manifestation of behavior and beliefs that are unloving to us. Without addressing specifically those beliefs it will be difficult for most to experience an end to unloving, even violent, acts against the body and spirit as well as develop a healthy relationship with food long-term.

Men!

Hang in there. It took me 10 -14 days to feel normal again. The weight loss is amazing though. Keep exercising and you will feel better everyday.

Wow so grateful I made a choice to start a thread on here! Thanks everyone for your support! I've been eating lots of chips and chocolate! I know both are bad and I have not been keeping up with my Water intake! I'm an emotional eater and some days I just can't seem to get it together! I haven't been exercising daily like I should but I have exercised and that's more than what I did before which was nothing! I have a special needs son who is 9 and he takes up a lot of my time! Just need to stop making excuses and find time for me!

Good Post Mikee57 !
And TMF....WOW! This pretty much sums it ALL up. "Success with the band is an integration of just the right restriction for each of us, knowledge of what constitutes healthy foods that stimulate satiety, Great aftercare, satiety signal awareness, eating and chewing etiquette, nutrition knowledge(carbs, calories, slider foods, liquids), and as someone said yesterday, the willingness to be a different person(foodwise) than before surgery."

I was banded on 1/16/14 and have lost 42 lbs...and I was so upset with myself that it wasn't more...but then just the other day 6/17/14 I finally learned something that made me realize ignorance can really be a hiccup in this WL Journey. I have read on here so many folks that didn't get much of an education about what they were getting into and although I thought I was on the right track before/after my surgery...I learned there is still so much to learn. We all know our journey's are so individualized and that not everyone will be the same as everyone else. So my first lesson was to realize...that I wasn't going to lose weight the same way and Jane or John Doe was going to lose their weight...so I needed to get that out of my head fast (but it took me 5 months to realize that)! Secondly, I need to get away from those scales at home and trust the ones when I go to the fill clinic. Thirdly, that although sometimes we judge ourselves harshly...we need to be prepared to meet those consequences.
I am doing all the right things...I am eating right portions, eating slowly-chewing and exercising...however, it all is about that band!!! It helps us to manage weight lose, but we have to be at the Green Zone in order for it to work correctly. So for the last few months...I have been doing the right things expecting a BIG CHANGE to occur and it hasn't and therefore gotten totally off track and out of sight as to what this is all about!!! The band is merely an instrument that assists us in our weight loss...but until we get to the GREEN zone, we still need to be the ones in control of our day to day weight loss goals...that means maybe we call it a diet until then...monitor our eating habits and make adjustments to at least lose a little at each time we go in for our fills-when we reach our Green Zone we will start losing accordingly.
I got my fill Tuesday and learned first of all I wasn't at where I thought I was with the cc's, but I got to talk with an Educator (who is also a Lap-Band patient-8 yrs) and told me to stop beating myself up and move forward. Everyone's weight loss is different from everyone else's, but I was doing great...not everyone averages 8 lbs a month (even though that is not what I've lost between fills-only average of my lose by the months since I've been banded). I will get to where I need to be, but I really worry about folks on here that don't get to speak to Educators or Nutritionist and seem to run into those hiccups along the way.
So if I have any advice to give to those that are newbies (by the way-she told me I'm still a Newbie-LOL) find someone you can talk with...actually have they show you what portion sizes are, talk to them about exercises that your body will allow you to do at each step of your progress and be proud of what you have achieved so far. We all are going to experience hiccup in our WL Journey...it just helps to know there are folks out here willing to take the time to set us straight and pick us up when we fall down.
Thanks all of you who have posted positive things on this posts and those of you who have posted the negatives ones as well-for they have made me learn that this journey is a lifetime one and it took me years to get where I am now and will take me a while to get to where I want to be!!! You all are my blessings...Thank You for scaring those hiccups away!!!

I had my surgery January 29 of 2014 almost 5 month ago and i lost 60 pounds. This is the best decision i made in my whole life . I still have 25 to go but I will get there one day. Never give up ????

Just read a post by Bama53......I started to reply and my reply started to get long (go figure) so instead I started my own post...but this is in responce to Bama53, that got me motivated.....
When I had my last fill I encountered difficulties.....,.......I immediatley started to blame the band, thinking I may be too tight...even called my Dr. after a few weeks....fortunately he talked me out of getting Fluid taking out, , but instead explained to me the band will CHANGE my life...and that a lifetime of eating the wrong foods the wrong way are now showing itself...exposed to the light!
I learned I could not possibly be successful with the band and still hang onto some (many) of the old ways...the ways that made me fat and almost killed me....
That was over 3 years ago....and everyday it just keeps getting better, and healthier...because now, since the band limits what and how much I eat within a given day, thanks to the restriction, I have become a real food junkie..making the best of what I can eat....always looking for the best, natural, nutritious foods out there...giving up things that now disgust me to even think about, like cheeseburgers and pizza. I sit and stare at TV commercials and can't believe what they are shoveling to us...where is the nutritional value??? No wonder there is an obesity epidemic...
And don't even get me started on eating out in restaurants....all I can think about is John Lennon's song....Little Piggies...."Have you seen the little piggies with their Piggy wives, clutching forks and knives....."
I read posts here every day about people with the band getting a fill, only to get an un-fill because they are getting stuck - sliming - regurgitating......., then struggle with food and hunger and come here to seek advice..,......so they go and get another fill, then are unhappy again and get it taken out...it is an endless cycle.....unhappy they are not loosing weight...the band is a failure...I'm a failure....
They fail to realize there are other factors involved...
Whenever I go to my Bariatric center, the PA there always has funny stories for me...as an example, she would tell me about people making appointments, asking for fluid to be taken out, the staff thinking their must be a serious problem....only to earn they want it so they can enjoy their upcoming vacation, a Family Wedding, holiday, you name it!
We laugh...not at the patients, we pity them, and it is sad....but at the absurdity of it all....do you want to loose weight or not? You did have surgery just for that reason, right?
They started teaching me and telling me to follow the "Rules" long before I even had my surgery....just for this very reason. I was told that there will come a day, that will be the only way I will get by when the band is properly adjusted....
Of course I can always get a little fluid taken out, start to eat and enjoy the foods I want (or think I want) then I can go sign up for Jenny Craig, or Weight watchers again, and be just like all the others....and come back here a year later asking for advice...
Like someone else said, it is a Choice!
Sorry, just wanted to get it off my chest...and I am in no means telling other people what is a truth...for that you have to find on your own....it is just my experience....no one else s....

I got first fill at 6 week. I was very nervous. I'm not afraid of shots but I had visions of it being terrible.
I can't even begin to tell you what a non issue it was. He had the needle in and was talking to me before I even knew what happened. Didn't even feel it.
Second fill was a little different but only slightly. This time when the needle went in, I felt a pretty big pinch. Nothing painful but it did wake me up a bit. When he pulled the needle out, I bled a lot. Blood actually dropped to the floor on my shoes. And by the next day I had a pretty large bruise that lasted about 2 weeks. I'm probably making it sound more dramatic than it actually was. While it certainly wasn't as easy as the first one, it was still no big deal.
So far, for me, the fills are super easy and I realize now I wasted a lot of time worrying about them. I'm in and out of his office in less than 20 minutes. And 15 of those 20 minutes are spent waiting for the doctor.
Good luck! Everyone is different of course but I hope your future fills are as easy as mine have been so far.

4 weeks post op got my first fill.. appt once a week now for 4 weeks

Guess who lost 20 lbs at her first post-op appointment? THIS GIRL!!!! Those of you like me who are new to this (surgery 5/28/14) and have had a few freak outs! Keep Calm and Lose Weight!

you wanted this surgery, so do what you have to make it work..
you just have major surgery sweetheart.....taking that one bite could harm your insides
one moments food gasm is not worth any injury
you went through alot to have this WLS
you wanted to lose weight and get healthy
WLS is not a cure alln and believe it or not, its not easy..
you have to make an effort to eat better, exercise and live life
first off, any WLS can and does have a chance of complications but doesnt mean you will
second and finally not least, you are mentally stronger than you know..you think you cant do this
and if you keep thinking that, you will not ever lose weight...i could hardly walk at time of my surgery
because i was super morbid obese....i could hardly wipe my ass...so i been there and done that
enough pity party.....woman up (as my ole man told me once on a pre op day whining) and make
yourself well.......your doctor gave you a excellent tool to help you....follow their instructions for
best results
ps, i spent the first 10 or 11 months w/no exercise and just eating as advised and lost a lot...hint hint]
pps YOU can DO this......yes you CAN
and if i didnt think you could i would not have answered this post..
CG

The whole point of Clear Liquids is to give your stomach time to heal. Your stomach when it has food in it has to work, move, push the food down. The only thing I can tell you is stay out of the kitchen when everyone else is eating until you can do it without taking from their plate. It's not about depriving you its about giving your stomach time to heal. A little here and a little there will end up right back in the same old habits. Just stop doing it.

First congratulations on your new journey. Now STOP eating !!!! Your stomach had major surgery , it is swollen and healing. Follow your doctors rules and his rules only. You can do this and you have to.
I love my band. Next month is 2 years for me. I never ever did before or after eating that was not on my list. I was afraid of what could or would happen.
Just remember you didn't gain over night and you won't lose over night. Be patient.
You can do this.
Arlene

just go and have a great time
eat smart, eat as clean as you can
def overthinking.....if you do the best you can with food/drink choices,
its all you can do......enjoy yourself GF

I love Edy's sf Popsicles that have real fruit like strawberry kiwi and 2 others. They are the best out there.
Also for bad taste I was told the listerine breath strips. I still use them.

Not to be a downer, but everybody should loose with a post op diet of liquids, then mushies, etc....
The challenge becomes when you are released to start eating normal solid foods again....I gained all that weight back....because my band was not yet adjusted....and I was the same as before I had the surgery.....
It took months to get things on track with the band, and it was not very enjoyable...but down right frustrating and difficult....the hardest time with this surgery was that phase....
So yes, enjoy...just be forewarned...but not to worry...many here have gone through this and there is a end to it, eventually.

I was excited to find out how my one week apt, would go. Best case scenario lost 20lbs worst case scenario gained 5 - 10lbs. Well the envelope says .............. Down 18.7lbs in one week. OMG who is excited????? BUT to all you newbies this is not the norm. And I know this will not last loosing this much in one week but I had to share! Yes get my oatmeal that I have been wanting the last few days.

With weight loss and exercise Sometimes the fat turns to muscle and you may not lose pounds per say. But the weight moves around. Thus one can lose inches rather than pounds

I was at a stall with 25 lbs lost at 4 week post op. I had my first fill yesterday. I can tell I am going to start losing again. The NSWs during the stall... were lost inches. I can tell it in my clothes. I also am sleeping better and not getting up in the middle of the night to snack. I can tell my joints already feel better. I don't get as exhausted and tired from doing my gardening work. Everyone is correct... it is normal to stall and as a wise one told me... the time between surgery and your first fill is a "healing period" and you shouldn't be worried about losing the weight.. just do what your doctor told you to do and all will be well. Again, I had the same thoughts and feelings you are going through right now.

I was at a stall with 25 lbs lost at 4 week post op. I had my first fill yesterday. I can tell I am going to start losing again. The NSWs during the stall... were lost inches. I can tell it in my clothes. I also am sleeping better and not getting up in the middle of the night to snack. I can tell my joints already feel better. I don't get as exhausted and tired from doing my gardening work. Everyone is correct... it is normal to stall and as a wise one told me... the time between surgery and your first fill is a "healing period" and you shouldn't be worried about losing the weight.. just do what your doctor told you to do and all will be well. Again, I had the same thoughts and feelings you are going through right now.

The standard answer is "this is a time for healing not losing weight". If you do lose some fat it's icing on the cake. The point of getting the band is so it can help you eat less food. That won't happen till it's adjusted. Btw 25 lbs is much More than most.