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dsdesigna

Duodenal Switch Patients
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Blog Entries posted by dsdesigna

  1. dsdesigna
    I am now 96 days post op and I've now lost 64lbs. I haven't decided if that is a great number or not. People are more likely to comment now that they can see that I've lost a big amount of weight. I'm not even half way to my goal but I'm getting close.
     
    First of all I want to reassure newbies that although the journey is not easy, it does get better. I'm only 3 months out and I'm really able to eat just about anything. I don't push it with bread or vegetables but so far I haven't had many issues with any foods. I can no longer tolerate protein shakes but I'm getting my protein from real foods now so I don't worry about it.
     
    Some days I wish I could just not eat that day. For us it's just not an option. Ensuring I have plenty of fat included in each meal seems to help with my skin texture and preventing constipation. I even made biscuits and gravy this morning. I found these tiny tubes of biscuits in the store, I found the butter kind, and there are 5 small biscuits in each tube. Of course I can't even eat that many at one time, but making the bigger biscuits would be just wasteful. So I bake them till they are a little overdone cause I like them crunchy. Then I baked 4 slices of bacon, 2 for me and 2 for the roommate, and used all of the bacon grease to make a rather small amount of gravy, I used about 2 tbsp of flour and even a small pat of butter to add a little more fat to those carbs. It was heavenly. The protein was in the bacon and I lightly fried an egg in butter, leaving the yolk runny, to add even more protein to the meal. And topped the whole thing off with a glass of whole milk. I love my DS!
  2. dsdesigna
    What a ride I have been on for the past 5 days. I flew from Lubbock to Dallas on Monday afternoon. I met up with my parents there and we stayed the night in a hotel. I checked in the next morning at 6:45am, and it took til nearly 11:30am for them to get me into surgery.
     
    Let me tell you the staff at Doctor's Hospital in Dallas Texas is world class. They were very attentive and encouraging. They were friendly but stern when I needed it.
     
    From the ready room to my final hospital room I remember nothing. Nothing of the surgery at all. My anesthesiologist is a miracle worker. I had told him before the surgery of my last experience where I had woken up still intubated, and he did better than that. He made is so I wouldn't remember any of that or anything following that either. I woke up in my room where I spent the next few days recovering. With as much pain as I was in when I first woke up, I can honestly say the whole experience was wonderful. I felt constantly supported, I never felt alone. Of course my parents where there who were amazing cheerleaders as well. My dad had the sleeve last year so he had all kinds of helpful advise and tips. My mom was there to help me when I walked, and just to walk with me which was nice.
     
    I'm 3 days post op and feeling great. My incisions are really the only pain, occasionally I feel a gas bubble that's stuck but walking helps alleviate that.
     
    I managed to get about half a cup of strained french onion soup in without any nausea. My system is still ridding itself of gas, and I seem to be manufacturing gas a little more than I recall. the empty digestive tract is helping that I'm sure.
     
    I know not everyone has this experience but I sure wish they could.
     
    If you go into this adventure focused on when you'll get to eat real food then you should rethink your decision. This is a lifestyle change, not a get out of jail free card. If your liquid diet is oh so tough on you now and you keep cheating cause you just can't stand it, then you should rethink your decision. This is no easy task. A good majority of the people I encountered along this journey has had WLS in one way or another, and none of them deserve selfish, self serving people coming across their paths.
     
    I look forward to the future. This will be fun!
  3. dsdesigna
    So it's day 5 of the liquid diet, surgery is Tuesday morning. If you read everything there is to read on this site for everyone that has gone through this process you'll learn one undisputable fact, this is different for each person, although somethings are universally true. I'm learning about one of them right now.
     
    Expect to have issues in the bathroom. Just keep it in mind, stock up on toilet paper. It's not gonna kill you but I can guarantee it's going to annoy the crap out of you, no pun intended. Urination is the biggest annoyance. I sincerely cannot pass by a bathroom without needing to use it. I went to town with my friend the other day, I was out there for less than 3 hours and was in the restroom 3 separate times. It seems to be hourly but sometimes it's just half an hour between visits.
     
    I'm struggling with bouts of unexplained nausea and a lingering headache that I can only assume is the start of serious sugar withdrawl but I can't be certain. I'm also on my period so it might be the start of some shifts in hormone levels. Only time will tell. For some reason I feel short of breath on occasion, I'm assuming that might be a bit psychological and perhaps I'm a little more anxious about this process than my mind is ready to admit. We will take this one day at a time, one moment at a time. I think my stomach acid levels are little warped, I suppose grabbing some antiacids might be a good thing to do some time soon since this is extremely uncomfortable.
     
    I'll be boarding a flight for Dallas TX tomorrow afternoon. I'll meet up with my parents and head to the hotel for the evening. I suppose we will probably grab something for dinner, I hope the soup is edible. Then up early tuesday morning to be checked in at the hospital by 8:30am. I'm already emotional, I'm can only imagine how I'll be then. But I trust that God has big things planned for my life, I feel his hand guiding me through this whole process. I need only be ready for the journey that will come.
     
    If you are reading this and are a believer please say a quick prayer for me, for my parents, for my family.
     
    Thank you and God Bless!
  5. dsdesigna
    so it's 10 days away... the count down has begun. Tuesday starts the liquid diet for real, although I have been testing things out this last week to see if I like any sugar free, fat free stuff. I'm pumped and terrified!
     
    So most of you reading this are on this journey with me, so you've been standing in front of the protein aisle at any number of stores staring at protein levels and prices and flavors and the bars etc. I started to twitch in KMart, although it didn't have much in the way of variety. Then I decided perhaps GNC would be better. Some of those tubs you could fit a small child in. Who eats this stuff on such a regular basis that they need a 6 month supply at a time?
     
    In the vitamin aisle I nearly had a nervous breakdown. How many kinds of chewable vitamins do we need? Really?
     
    I'm happy and proud to say that I'm all stocked up for at least a month or more. I looked at a number of web sites that specialize in bariatric stuff and it just seems like such a racket. The prices seemed so over inflated. I know they need to make a profit but aren't we already going through enough learning how to work our new digestive tracks? Should we also go broke trying to maintain it?
  6. dsdesigna

    Justification

    By dsdesigna,

    Hey there welcome to my blog. I'm so happy that you have chosen to read a few thoughts that I have about the world. I pray you find this entertaining, enlightening, and encouraging.
     
    A little about me. I am 40, just turned the big 40... I don't know how I feel about that quite yet. It seems to have snuck up on me. I am a California native living in West Texas where they could seriously use a mountain or two, if only in the distance.
     
    I have always been heavy for as long as I can remember. I've been the chubby child who grew up into the plus sized teen, and then to become the obese woman I am today. I don't know any other life. But I will very soon, in less than 2 weeks to be exact. But I'll get into that more later, that's not what I'm here to discuss with this intro blog.
     
    I am a Christian, I know for many of you it has been Christians that have been the most condemning of you for where ever you are in your life. Christians seem to be the harshest critics in most things. I'm not saying all of them, but it's tough to find one that will just accept you where you are. In fact it took people outside a church building to show me what unconditional really meant. And I still fail at it, daily. I fail at it most of all with myself, but certainly others. I've learned to be prejudiced about so many things, and it's a difficult habit to break. I'm gonna confess something right here that I've not told any one;I can't help myself from judging someone I see that is obese, whether they appear larger or smaller than me. I am guilty of having those same judgmental thoughts in regards to how lazy they must be, or how they shouldn't be eating or doing whatever they are eating or doing at that moment.
     
    Who am I to judge those people? I don't know them. I haven't a clue where their life has lead them, what health conditions they are plagued with or what mean, awful things they tell themselves that are so much more harsh than what anyone else says to them.
     
    Truth is I do know them... I am them. I am everyone of them. I am the person at the donut drive through picking up a dozen for myself or the one in the drive through pick up a double decker bacon cheese burger with a diet coke of course. I am the non exercising, every excuse not to do something or go somewhere just because it might make me sweat. I am the one that avoids sitting in a chair that looks sketchy cause I have broken several in my day. I'm the one that hates flying because the seats are PHYSICALLY painful and the judgmental stares from other passengers can't even compare to the humiliation of having to ask for a seat belt extender or being handed one without asking.
     
    I'm not judging them and their behavior, I'm judging myself and those things that remind me of my own short comings.
     
    I'm also a judge for those that are considerably thinner. I judge them because I just know the thoughts they have in their head about me. I know they see me as ugly, gross, unworthy of acknowledgment, lazy... scum of the earth. I'm much more harsh on men than women. Although I have had the company and attention of some incredibly handsome guys, but they would never show me off. I was never their arm candy. I wasn't paraded in front of their friends and family. So I judge them all with the darkness in my heart that scares me. I'm not a naturally hateful person.
     
    I am no different than anyone else. You may argue that you don't do these things, but we are all carved from the same piece of wood. Your slice may look different, it may have different rings, but in the end, deep down, we all are searching for meaning, purpose and most of all validation that we are important. I feel sorry for younger generations as they grow up in a very visually stimulating, instant gratification, money centric society. They don't know the joy of hanging out on the street with friends just enjoying the day. Bravo to the parents who get their kids to play outside. I digress...
     
    Bottom line, I am an evil awful person, who would want to be my friend? I have the most disturbing thoughts about strangers, and even harsher thoughts about people that I call friends. The ironic thing is that the people who know me the best would tell you I am the sweetest, kindest, most generous person they have met... that I am willing to go that extra mile for others, that I'm full of rare wisdom and way too much knowledge.
     
    I'm sharing this with you because if you are going to read my blog, then you should know me deep down as I don't want you to waste your time with false ideas about who I am or what I am about. I'm not here to impress anyone, but I hope by sharing my story that I can encourage others that they are not alone, and compared to me they just might be sane!
  7. dsdesigna
    I am 4 weeks post op, for 3 of those weeks I was off work. And being one of those people that live paycheck to paycheck never seeming to be able to save anything I've found myself basically out of cash. This wouldn't be such a big deal if I weren't still dealing with learning how to eat again, and my body's slow progression in handling less food and losing weight. All of these things lead me to having a panic attack Friday morning, heart beating what felt like out of my chest and of course I'm a weepy mess. I also had a dear friend and mentor pass away, but I think I've mentioned that in previous entries, it's an on going thing.
     
    My surgeon's office, Barker Bariatric, has been very helpful. They gave me many protein samples, although none of them have wowed me to be honest. But they are to help make sure that I can at least make it through to the 22nd when I get my first paycheck.
     
    The emotional stress of this whole process cannot be overstated. If you have a tendency or even diagnosis of depression, anxiety, or any mood disorders you will need to keep in close contact with your mental health provider. I never felt like hurting myself, but certainly the guilt of putting myself in this situation was and continues to be overwhelming.
     
    When you have your psychiatrist consultations be honest with them about who and how you are. MO people are fantastic at pushing things under the rug, and down playing the severity of situations. Perhaps you will be denied surgery, but consider that you being alive with extra weight on might be better than you going down a dark road of depression and possible suicide. Counseling might be a great way to getting help as well.
     
    I have a huge support network of family, friends, and other WLS patients who have been vital to my survival through this initial phase. I pray you find the same, Face Book has several WLS support groups, of course there are some here, your own town should have a face to face support group. Even if you don't feel like you have supportive family and current friends the WLS community is full of helpful people and you'll find a few that can help.
     
    If you are a paycheck to paycheck kind of person like me, expect that at the end of your leave of absence at work that you will probably be hurting for money, and might just freak out if your cupboards start to get bare and you run out of milk to mix with your protein shakes.
  8. dsdesigna
    Today I am 17 days post op, physically feeling great but recently had a situation that honestly I still am baffled about.
     
    I am a friendly, helpful person. Typically I like the people I meet and show a genuine interest in their lives because I truly am interested. I love meeting people from all over the world, but I hold a special affection for people who know about my home town. This affection seems to have backfired.
     
    4 days post op I came on this site and as usual chatted with a number of people, but one in particular seemed to think, at least for a while, that I might be the one. I knew this wasn't going to be the case for many reasons, but tried to be amicable and helpful in his process to have WLS. Everything was on the up and up until for whatever reason now he won't talk to me. It's irritating for me to put in my time and energy into being concerned about someone only to find out that they are immature and can't deal with whatever conflict that percolated through his skull. This is a WLS support website not a dating site.
     
    I don't understand men. This seems to be a typical scenario for online interactions with men for me. I'm very easy to like, I'm intelligent, I show genuine interest but there is no way in hell that I would fall in love with someone that I have never met face to face. I'm not insane. Besides that at the moment I am going through the toughest, most emotional transformation in my 40 years and building a romantic relationship is way down on the list of priorities. My top priority is Hydration... with a side of increasing Protein levels.
     
    I hate fake people. I don't think it's fair to have unreasonable expectations from anyone on this site, especially new post ops. I'm more upset at the fact that its made me hesitant to come back on to chat. I love the friendships I have built here and seeing him come online now is just disturbing. To go from being extremely friendly and jovial to making snide comments for no apparent reason is pure insanity.
     
    I'm not gonna let it deter me though. If you are going through something similar or perhaps in your personal life you have people pressuring you into a relationship when you aren't interested I hope that you can find comfort in the fact that you are the normal one in that situation.
     
    I have a very particular taste in men, none of which have anything to do with his waist size. I make no apologies for it. I'm hoping to find that perfect one and feel like this transformation is a tribute to what my devotion will be to him.
     
    Just thought I'd vent for a moment. Please share your thoughts and stories.
  9. dsdesigna

    Baby Steps

    By dsdesigna,

    I am 12 days post op, but it feels like it was a month ago or more. I've been very tough on myself and my progress so far. The doc says I'm right on track, but I feel defeated and anxious about the future. The Duodenal Switch is hardcore, it requires lots of attention and diligence. Learn from my mistake and realize all these special substances you will need at first, the chewable vitamins to the protein shakes, add up quickly in the cost department.
     
    I can only say I am totally looking forward to next Tuesday when I get to have pureed/soft foods. All liquids gets old and I feel for those who have to do that for long periods of time.
     
    I've had some shortness of breath, but all tests came back normal, so most likely associated with anxiety. I'm so good at ignoring things that are really bothering me. This whole process is enough to make someone nervous, but I had a death on Monday of a dear friend and mentor that I can only deal with in small moments. Although she had battled Ovarian Cancer for many years, and had fought the good fight, it's still not an easy thing to accept.
     
    I'm sure there will be many more things that I encounter along the way. The important thing is to remain moving forward, deal with what I can and take my time with the rest. I'm living my life, my life isn't living me.
     
    It feels like ages ago, but just 12 days ago I woke up from major surgery. I wish I could give myself a cookie!
  10. dsdesigna
    Hello fellow travelers. Thank you for reading this. I'm gonna apologize now that some of its content maybe not only hard to hear but may in fact be inflammatory.
     
    Lets get down to business. For those of you who are pre op, presurgery, pre everything... for those of you who are thinking about this journey this is not a joke. You won't, following surgery, beable to continue to eat the way you do right now and expect to not have consequences. You may still lose weight but you will be putting your very life at risk. Whatever diet the insurance or doctor has you do, if you find yourself breaking the rules then you should seriously consider declining to have surgery and save yourself from potential disaster.
     
    Post surgical complications can for a majority of cases be traced back to the patient who chooses to not follow the most basic post op instructions. The clear liquid phase, full liquid phase, pureed phase, and subsequent phases are all designed to allow your new stomach and intestines to HEAL. You may still feel hungry, and you will be tempted because your mouth hasn't changed one bit. You'll be tempted to pick up some random peice of food and try to chew it real well just 2 or 3 weeks out from surgery and find that you feel miserable or if you are lucky you will vomit but for the unlucky folks it will cause incision leakage which requires more surgery and is a long recovery.
     
    This is not a joke, this is not the easy way out. This is not going to fix you. You are the only one that can make a change. I know many of you who are reading this have convinced yourself that you won't let the above happen to you. But then you struggle and cheat on your pre op diet. You cannot do that. Stick with the program, listen to sound advice. Countless WLS vets exist on this site, use their wisdom, their expertise as a guide.
     
    Let me tell you what we don't need around here, whiners. We don't need people to be whining about how hard their pre op diet is. We that are post op already know. It's not that we don't want to be supportive, but you are complaining about the wrong thing. The pre op diet is about allowing your head to change it's ideas about food. You won't be able to comfort yourself with food anymore. The pre op diet gives you an opportunity to find other coping methods. Go see a psychologist if you need to but don't whine on the forum about how you are struggling or even worse how you've cheated.
     
    We also don't need scale watchers around here. Nothing is more irritating than that competitive nagging that comes with someone complaining that it's been a week since their scale dropped. Even more frustrating is hearing that they fixed it by following the program... lets stop abusing the forums. Stick with the program, period. You will have all the tools you need.
     
    If you have a serious concern about your health, pain, or complications you need to be talking to your doctor about it. No one on this site is a doctor and even if they are they aren't in a position to give you any real medical advise. In fact medical advise given by a professional on this site that you follow and it causes complications can put them at risk for being sued for malpractice. It's not fair to put others in that position. That's why you pay your doctor.
     
    Here's what we need to hear around here, tells us how you are succeeding. Tell us what you have found that helps, that works or that didn't work. This should be a positive place. And here's the even more important thing... you need to listen to that sound advice.
     
    I can verify that following surgery you are not going to want to get out of bed because the gas pain is really awful. Write yourself a poster and have it by your bedside to remind you to WALK. You have to get out of pain, you need to work through it because they can't give you pain meds for the gas. Pain meds don't work on that kind of pain. You have to walk it out. Belch, burp, cough, allow yourself to vomit up that air. The nausea you feel when you first wake up is just trapped air, go ahead and allow yourself to throw up. It will not hurt you. Actually its not like normal vomiting anyway. But it will relieve huge pockets of air. Walk, Walk, Walk, Walk, Walk... then when you get home you'll need to continue to walk. I have a small courtyard in front of my apartment that I do laps around. My neighbors look at me strange but I don't care about them. I'm in pain relieving mode. Did I happen to mention that you should WALK???
     
    So far I'm lucky to have had a fantastic experience with this journey. I look forward to the future although it seems so much more foreign now that it did pre op because the scale is really moving. I think somewhere in my head I thought perhaps I'll be the one that won't lose weight this way. I'm pleased to report that is not the case.
     
    I'm happy to be on this journey with you and even tolerate some pre op jitters. Thank you for reading. I hope I didn't completely offend you. This culture is amazing, the people here are amazingly supportive and apparently have tolerated a ton of nonsense for a long time. Bless them for doing so. Perhaps we can change things a little.
  11. dsdesigna
    4th day of all liquids and so far so good. I've had hunger on occasion and just drank more liquid to curb the desire to cheat and eat something solid. I'm looking forward to eating normal food again but I've learned that this is a great training time of how it's gonna be after surgery. Not that I'll be drinking liquids forever but for a time it will be a good go to.
     
    I have to thank my new friends I've made here on this site for being a huge encourgment to me. Their stories of success and struggle help paint a more accurate picture of post op life. You can read dozens of blogs and forums but until you've made a few vets your friends you'll be missing out on that special indepth knowledge that only experience can afford.
     
    I want to put my whole experience out there, warning to guys this is about to become about ladies stuff. Namely menstruation.
     
    So I was worried that I'd start my period just a day or two before surgery and have risk of bleeding out while on the table or worse (ok bleeding out is worse but it's all in how you look at it) them post poning the surgery. Luckily it started early but it's strange. I'm guessing because of the drastic eating change it's affecting my entire system but I'm not sure. The good thing it so far it's the lightest, least painful period I've had in a long time.
     
    I have one more day at work before I go on this adventure. I'm blessed to have encredible support from family, friends, a church congregation, and online support friends. I'm grateful to be an inspiration and to be inspired by those around me.
  12. dsdesigna
    Met with the PCP today to get my pre op labs done. I had no idea they were needing all of my blood!?! Some 12 vials of blood later and I'm still here, so I guess I'll be fine.
     
    I guess this is a good time to mention about my surgery, I'd hinted about it in the first post but this seems a more likely place to include it.
     
    Several years ago, maybe even more than a decade ago but I've slept since then so I may be way off, my daddy's sister, Sandy, had the Roux n Y surgery. It was new to all of us back then, I think to most people. I didn't live around her so I don't know exactly what she went through after surgery. I know she lost a bunch of weight, yo-yo'd a little after my grandmother died in 2002. It was after my granny's passing that two other of my dad's sisters had the same surgery and just a couple years ago my dad's brother. Then as if that wasn't enough, my uncle's son and his wife had WLS, I don't know if they all had the same one, I'm pretty sure they did. And finally, if you are still with me, my own father bit the WLS bullet June of 2013. He is doing fabulously well.
     
    Can I be completely honest? I'm mad at them. I'm mad at them because we were a fat, jolly family that loved to eat and have a good time. And now it's all about getting smaller. I'm excited for my own transformation but I find I have a bit of anger towards them. If they hadn't gone through this I certainly never would have. I know they all did it for health reasons certainly not due to vanity. It's just different at family gatherings now. I'll see them all in October, some 4 months following my own surgery. I want to blow them away!! And I want to shed the anger I've held onto for so long.
     
    When I heard about my dad going through with his VSG I had a few tears of grief. My daddy has always been a big fluffy guy. I couldn't fit my arms around him when I gave him a hug and that's just the way things were. I'm gonna see him in a just under 2 weeks for the first time since he had the surgery and although I've seen pictures, it's gonna be difficult to choke back the tears of missing that big guy that I'd always known. Now I'll have to get to know him as this skinny guy, a stranger really. I know I'm sure I'm being more dramatic about it than I need to be, but darn it it's frustrating.
     
    Oh so back to me, I am scheduled to have the Duodenal Switch on July 8th in Dallas. I've been thinking about this seriously for a year, and started with docs and prep work in March. It's been a bit of a whirl wind, but that's better for me. Less time to stress about insignificant things.
     
    I mentioned before that I have never been thin, I doubt I'm alone in that. I don't know if there is any way to really prepare myself for how I'm going to react emotionally to the change. I already think I'm beautiful. There are so many things I like about my physical self none of which will change with weight loss. My eyes and my hair are my favorite things. I understand I should expect some hair loss after surgery, but I already have Hashimoto's so I'm used to losing a bit of hair.
     
    I'm looking forward to shopping in the normal sized clothing section, although to be honest I'm 5'10"... normal is not really achievable. I think I might start wearing dresses. The whole idea is exciting.
     
    Well I think that's it for now, I'm exhausted from them draining me of all my blood. Can't wait to hear back from the lab about how many deficiencies I have and the steps to improve that I'll have to go through. Thanks again for reading!

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