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NancyintheNorth

LAP-BAND Patients
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  1. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from charliecharms for a blog entry, not another fill - YET   
    Hello!!
     
    As I said in my last blog post, my stall is now over. How did I break it? By doing a few things that are working for me (that means they may, but may not work for you!!)
     
    I limit myself to no more than 1400 calories a day. That might seem really high, but I also REALLLLY exercise and my body seems to be handling that well because I'm losing weight. I feel good.
     
    I found a diet - really just a great eating plan that works for me, although I modify it for myself. I focus on how food feels inside my body and while I'm exercising I focus on repeating several mantras. There are some things I don't eat - tofu is one of them and I don't handle beef well now that my band is in place. I eat chicken and fish and I have veggies and fruits. I was never a good salad eater and I'm still not, but I insert veggies into omelet's, into stir fry, into anything. I also can't handle bread, but I can eat crackers and I love my Wasa crackers.
     
    I'm using less and less in the way of shakes because I'm aware that they don't keep me full for a lengthy period of time. Shakes and liquids pass through the bad relatively quickly, whereas 'real' food has to process through the band, through the stomach.
     
    So I had only my 2nd fill scheduled for this Tuesday, but I'm also in this groove, and I don't want to play with that at all. After speaking to the nursing team at the clinic where I had surgery, they agreed. I'm pushing out on having another fill in another three weeks. I can move that up if I need to.
     
    After reading a lot, I decided that it was a possibility that I wasn't eating enough, and for me, that turned out to be true. I felt there was little harm in experimenting. Just like not that long ago I discovered that I can push my body with exercise. Believe me when I say that I barter with myself constantly. "Maybe I'll only do 20 minutes", "maybe I don't have to exercise today", "maybe it's too hot/cold/windy/early/late to exercise", "maybe I can eat that entire box of cookies"...UGH! It goes on and on and I ignore it all. I feel so good when I have promised myself that I'll eat well and exercise that day and I actually do that. Upon occasion I allow myself some treat. I feel like I could go on a bender at any time and I try to keep vigilant.
     
    All is good right now, and I know that can change, but I have my band to help me and an outstanding medical team at my disposal.
     
    I wish everyone success!
     
    Nancy
     

  2. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from charliecharms for a blog entry, not another fill - YET   
    Hello!!
     
    As I said in my last blog post, my stall is now over. How did I break it? By doing a few things that are working for me (that means they may, but may not work for you!!)
     
    I limit myself to no more than 1400 calories a day. That might seem really high, but I also REALLLLY exercise and my body seems to be handling that well because I'm losing weight. I feel good.
     
    I found a diet - really just a great eating plan that works for me, although I modify it for myself. I focus on how food feels inside my body and while I'm exercising I focus on repeating several mantras. There are some things I don't eat - tofu is one of them and I don't handle beef well now that my band is in place. I eat chicken and fish and I have veggies and fruits. I was never a good salad eater and I'm still not, but I insert veggies into omelet's, into stir fry, into anything. I also can't handle bread, but I can eat crackers and I love my Wasa crackers.
     
    I'm using less and less in the way of shakes because I'm aware that they don't keep me full for a lengthy period of time. Shakes and liquids pass through the bad relatively quickly, whereas 'real' food has to process through the band, through the stomach.
     
    So I had only my 2nd fill scheduled for this Tuesday, but I'm also in this groove, and I don't want to play with that at all. After speaking to the nursing team at the clinic where I had surgery, they agreed. I'm pushing out on having another fill in another three weeks. I can move that up if I need to.
     
    After reading a lot, I decided that it was a possibility that I wasn't eating enough, and for me, that turned out to be true. I felt there was little harm in experimenting. Just like not that long ago I discovered that I can push my body with exercise. Believe me when I say that I barter with myself constantly. "Maybe I'll only do 20 minutes", "maybe I don't have to exercise today", "maybe it's too hot/cold/windy/early/late to exercise", "maybe I can eat that entire box of cookies"...UGH! It goes on and on and I ignore it all. I feel so good when I have promised myself that I'll eat well and exercise that day and I actually do that. Upon occasion I allow myself some treat. I feel like I could go on a bender at any time and I try to keep vigilant.
     
    All is good right now, and I know that can change, but I have my band to help me and an outstanding medical team at my disposal.
     
    I wish everyone success!
     
    Nancy
     

  3. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from luckyknickers57 for a blog entry, stall over!   
    yesss finally that stall is over. I'm losing so painfully slowly but it's still losing. The best news is that I feel great, I'm learning every day about what I can and can't eat, how my body tolerates change and when and if I'm hungry or bored, or thirsty. It's struck me how out of touch with my own body I've been.
     
    I am obsessing about how much food I need for me. For my body type, how much protein, how much carbohydrate, etc. I'm looking for help with that issue. My sister in law is a nutritionist, and while I don't need help with what to eat, just how much. I have a theory that one reason my stall was so long is that I wasn't eating enough.
     
    I've been on a roll, eating properly, exercising, devoting part of every day to health.
     
    Best wishes
     
    Nancy

  4. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from luckyknickers57 for a blog entry, a gps instead?   
    Hello everyone
     
    I'm a fit bit user and I've just signed up for my first 5k walk happening near the end of this month. yesterday I decided that it would be good if I tried to walk further. I've gone just over 10,000 steps only one time.
     
    I had to drop my car at the shop and I thought that rather than taking the shuttle, that I'd walk home. I mapped things out using something called "google pedometer". I have zero idea if it's accurate. But after fiddling with this I decided on a route that I thought I knew.
     
    Turns out I didn't know, and I got lost, and I ended up walking for an hour and 44 minutes before I finally found my way home.
     
    Later yesterday I found a 4 week course upcoming on Power Walking (different from Race Walking) that started last night. It was pouring here with rain, and I figured I go as it being the first course was likely just going to be examples or videos or diagrams...noooooooooooo
     
    Out we went into the driving rain. An hour and 1/2 later all totaled, I'd walked over 22,000 steps. And I lived which inspires me because it tells me that I can do much more than I think I can, that I work against rather than with my brain at times.
     
    Now today I'm taking it easy. Despite an epsom salt soak, I'm still sore. I did take the doggie out for her walk, but we didn't hurry.
     
    Power Walking is about walking quickly but with precision so that you are efficient. Race walking requires a gait that I'm not comfy with at all. I'm excited for this class as I want to improve my form, my distance, and my time.
     
    Push yourself. What can you do that you think you can't?
     
    Nancy
     

  5. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from luckyknickers57 for a blog entry, a gps instead?   
    Hello everyone
     
    I'm a fit bit user and I've just signed up for my first 5k walk happening near the end of this month. yesterday I decided that it would be good if I tried to walk further. I've gone just over 10,000 steps only one time.
     
    I had to drop my car at the shop and I thought that rather than taking the shuttle, that I'd walk home. I mapped things out using something called "google pedometer". I have zero idea if it's accurate. But after fiddling with this I decided on a route that I thought I knew.
     
    Turns out I didn't know, and I got lost, and I ended up walking for an hour and 44 minutes before I finally found my way home.
     
    Later yesterday I found a 4 week course upcoming on Power Walking (different from Race Walking) that started last night. It was pouring here with rain, and I figured I go as it being the first course was likely just going to be examples or videos or diagrams...noooooooooooo
     
    Out we went into the driving rain. An hour and 1/2 later all totaled, I'd walked over 22,000 steps. And I lived which inspires me because it tells me that I can do much more than I think I can, that I work against rather than with my brain at times.
     
    Now today I'm taking it easy. Despite an epsom salt soak, I'm still sore. I did take the doggie out for her walk, but we didn't hurry.
     
    Power Walking is about walking quickly but with precision so that you are efficient. Race walking requires a gait that I'm not comfy with at all. I'm excited for this class as I want to improve my form, my distance, and my time.
     
    Push yourself. What can you do that you think you can't?
     
    Nancy
     

  6. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from luckyknickers57 for a blog entry, old habits die hard   
    *sigh*
     
    Not a good day yesterday. I had been invited to a lunch thing with girlfriends and went. I had checked out the menu online in advance and discovered that there was very very little in the way of healthy foods. It turns out it's not a buffet, but you choose food from the menu and for one price they bring as much as you can eat.
     
    Suffice to say, I ate. And not well. I ate a piece of beef that threatened to stick but fortunately didn't. I was able to eat a stunning amount of food. To make matters worse, I decided I needed a dessert on the way home. And in my attempt to gobble it down, I had pain like nothing I've felt before in my life.
     
    I'm upset because, EVEN AFTER PAIN, I still wanted that 'treat'. Even after feeling sick from eating so much, even after so much pain, I WANTED it and I kept the remainder and ate it very slowly late last night. I'm glad it's gone. Today I am very sore, really sore and need to return to a liquid diet today.
     
    How can that be - to want something so bad, that has no nutrition, that I'm willing to hurt myself to eat crap. What does that say about my self esteem? I was banded only two weeks and two days ago. It's disgusting.and I'm hell bent on getting to the reason why that was acceptable previous to surgery and still is.
     
    I'm pleased that I'm at least aware of this, and I know that this is an issue, but I swear, until I figure out how to unravel it all, it will continue to be a problem for me.
     
    More than anything - I'm disappointed. I'd love to say that my upcoming first fill will take care of this, but that's bull*hit*. That doesn't address the why, and that I'm likely to still find a way to eat around the band.
     
    I wish myself peace and kindness to myself today.
  7. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from Leepers for a blog entry, 2 weeks out - better and stronger   
    Today I'm two weeks out from surgery. I feel so much better even from a week ago. Today I had to go back to the clinic to have a nurse examine the incision sites and get a date for my first fill. All of that went well and the nurse was pleased with my progress. I am too!
     
    I'm struggling a bit with hunger and apparently that's normal. I eat approximately every two hours or so, though my caloric intake is good and I track everything on myfitnesspal. I track even a dash of pepper or salt. All of it.
     
    I have upped my protein level. According to the literature I received from my clinic, about 65 grams is good, but that doesn't keep me sated at all. I hover near 90 grams a day. I'm still very low fat, very low carbs, very low sodium.
     
    I exercise, but truthfully - not everyday. I'd say I'm at 5 of 7 days and it's all been walking.
     
    I'm still going to a therapist who I adore and yesterday we spoke about body image and the pain that causes me to this day. Shame, guilt, frustration. Coupled with my weight is that I'm very tall and you stand out when you are obese, let alone tall. I want so much to figure out how to reconcile all of this because I'm convinced it's one of many keys to my weight loss.
     
    As a child, I wasn't given the freedom to discuss my feelings. If you were angry - you couldn't express it, if you were unhappy for any reason, you just didn't say it. Those feelings must be dealt with and it's unnatural to not express them. My anger formed my depression.
     
    I'm so grateful I'm on my way to learning about why I do what I do, and how to better care for myself. I may sound down, but I promise, I'm not, I'm pleased I'm working away on me.
     
    Nancy
     

  8. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from Leepers for a blog entry, 2 weeks out - better and stronger   
    Today I'm two weeks out from surgery. I feel so much better even from a week ago. Today I had to go back to the clinic to have a nurse examine the incision sites and get a date for my first fill. All of that went well and the nurse was pleased with my progress. I am too!
     
    I'm struggling a bit with hunger and apparently that's normal. I eat approximately every two hours or so, though my caloric intake is good and I track everything on myfitnesspal. I track even a dash of pepper or salt. All of it.
     
    I have upped my protein level. According to the literature I received from my clinic, about 65 grams is good, but that doesn't keep me sated at all. I hover near 90 grams a day. I'm still very low fat, very low carbs, very low sodium.
     
    I exercise, but truthfully - not everyday. I'd say I'm at 5 of 7 days and it's all been walking.
     
    I'm still going to a therapist who I adore and yesterday we spoke about body image and the pain that causes me to this day. Shame, guilt, frustration. Coupled with my weight is that I'm very tall and you stand out when you are obese, let alone tall. I want so much to figure out how to reconcile all of this because I'm convinced it's one of many keys to my weight loss.
     
    As a child, I wasn't given the freedom to discuss my feelings. If you were angry - you couldn't express it, if you were unhappy for any reason, you just didn't say it. Those feelings must be dealt with and it's unnatural to not express them. My anger formed my depression.
     
    I'm so grateful I'm on my way to learning about why I do what I do, and how to better care for myself. I may sound down, but I promise, I'm not, I'm pleased I'm working away on me.
     
    Nancy
     

  9. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from Leepers for a blog entry, 1 Week Post Op and VICTORY   
    Hello there,
     
    Ugh, it's SNOWING AGAIN here in Ontario Canada. Oh well, I can't fix that.
     
    Today is my one week surgiversary and I'm pleased to say that I've lost 5 more pounds this past week. I'm very pleased with that.
     
    The day before yesterday I started taking lessTylenol for pain - and being lazy I hadn't gotten any more after I ran out.
     
    Yesterday I walked the longest yet - too long in fact for being 6 days out. Over an hour and almost four miles. I staggered home and was exhausted by bed time yesterday. I woke up around 2am in a lot of pain, and at last the pharmacy has just opened and I've returned from buying the tylenol and taking my double dose.
     
    During the night I tried taking 2 tylenol pills. That was pretty awful, and while they didn't come up, I'm not certain they ever went down. I'm really sore today. I'll stay with the children tylenol double dose for as long as needed and today I'll take it easier, though I can still use the treadmill downstairs for a short stint.
     
    I like the walking, and was so pleased I found out how far I could go, although next time outside walking, I doubt I'll try for an hour or more. I have a tendency to overdoing it, to pushing myself, and it's one way that I'm not nice to myself. All things in good time Nancy is what I think.
     
    Tomorrow I get to move to more 'foods'. I cannot wait as I'm truly sick of shakes.
     
    Thanks to all of you for your support!
     
    Nancy
     

  10. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from Leepers for a blog entry, Drugs and Walking   
    So as it turned out the prescription drugs I was prescribed for pain were absolutely useless. I didn't sleep for nearly 48 hours and had tons of anxiety and quite a bit of pain. After talking to the Doctor and the nurse I went to liquid children's tylenol. I had reservations about this working, but in face, it does. I doubled the dose as told to and it works. I'm now trying to take less of it. I have since spoken to others who have had the same problem. Once I started the tylenol I was able to sleep with ease.
     
    I'm now able to spend a least a small portion of time on my sides which I couldn't tolerate at first.
     
    Yesterday I was out and decided to push myself to walk the full 30 minutes. I was so pleased with myself when I finished and really it wasn't all that bad. Today I'll repeat that. I have a dog that loves to walk, and this week I'm dog sitting another dog.
     
    I'm trying to up my protein by continuing with the shakes and chicken broth.
     
    Rhodywoman sent me information on a book called "The Binge Eating and Compulsive Overeating Workbook" I recommend the book too. I'm interested in discovering the psychology of binge eating and compulsive overeating and why I have lived with those for so long.
     
    It's a beautiful bright sunny cold day here in Ontario. I wish you all happiness today.
     

  11. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from Leepers for a blog entry, Drugs and Walking   
    So as it turned out the prescription drugs I was prescribed for pain were absolutely useless. I didn't sleep for nearly 48 hours and had tons of anxiety and quite a bit of pain. After talking to the Doctor and the nurse I went to liquid children's tylenol. I had reservations about this working, but in face, it does. I doubled the dose as told to and it works. I'm now trying to take less of it. I have since spoken to others who have had the same problem. Once I started the tylenol I was able to sleep with ease.
     
    I'm now able to spend a least a small portion of time on my sides which I couldn't tolerate at first.
     
    Yesterday I was out and decided to push myself to walk the full 30 minutes. I was so pleased with myself when I finished and really it wasn't all that bad. Today I'll repeat that. I have a dog that loves to walk, and this week I'm dog sitting another dog.
     
    I'm trying to up my protein by continuing with the shakes and chicken broth.
     
    Rhodywoman sent me information on a book called "The Binge Eating and Compulsive Overeating Workbook" I recommend the book too. I'm interested in discovering the psychology of binge eating and compulsive overeating and why I have lived with those for so long.
     
    It's a beautiful bright sunny cold day here in Ontario. I wish you all happiness today.
     

  12. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from Leepers for a blog entry, The day of surgery   
    Yesterday I had my lap band put in.
     
    But before all of that, I want to back up and tell you about the last days of the pre-op diet. I have to say that I battled head hunger and maybe real hunger the entire time. I actually looked forward to SlimTime. Some days were very tough, and others seemed to sail by and that was great. I weighed myself at home using my scale because I won't always be weighing myself on their scale and I'm so pleased to say that I lost 15 pounds on the SlimTime, I was ecstatic. In any case - onto surgery
     
    I had my surgery at Smart Shape or otherwise known as the Surgical Weight loss center in Mississauga, ON on March 5th.
     
    I was in a tiny panic as traffic was absolutely awful, and I thought I'd built in travel time, but as it turns out - no. I was 10 minutes late, and the team was thankfully very gracious about it. I still waited probably 1/2 an hour. The staff there are the best, so caring, thorough and wonderful. I was taken into a room that had a heated comforter for me to be under, and I changed into the gown. I met with the nurse, we went over my medications, took my blood pressure and weight. Then I met the dietician and my care coordinator, both who are inspirational and very kind.
     
    Dr. Cobourn came in and we shared a laugh or two, and then the anesthesiologist came in, and we went through allergies and I told him how much I hate needles. He had a look at my veins and was hoping to put the iv in my hand. I told him that in previous surgeries that had been tried with no success he asked to try it anyway and I said yes.
     
    I was then led into the surgery room, and really, I never ever look around the room, I never ask questions, I just closed my eyes and spoke only when I had to speak.
     
    After trying my hand he gave up and used my arm. He gave me a relaxant of some type, and then told me it was time to go to sleep. He asked me to take two deep breaths after putting the mask on me, and next thing I knew I was awake in recovery.
     
    I had no nausea - YAYYYY and everything went as planned. I could hear the nurse talking on the phone to my beloved. I was eventually sat up in the bed, then asked to dangle my feet over the side, and then asked to get dressed. They had a hard time finding someone to go down with me to find hubby as the nurse couldn't leave as another patient was in the recovery room.
     
    I don't really remember the ride home. I slept most of yesterday but did get up and watched tv last night with hubby. I had a hard time sleeping last night. Maybe because I'd slept all day.
     
    Today I'm okay. I've walked a bit and will walk more. I want to feel better quicker and I know for me that as soon as I get out of a chair and moving a bit that that will help.
     
    I wish I could call all of you and thank you individually for all of the support I've received on this website. I'm truly grateful. I had a far better idea of how I would feel, of what to expect because of you!
     
    Nancy
     

  13. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from catnapper for a blog entry, Day 5 pre-op   
    So yesterday was stressful
     
    Contractor chaos at home along with my poor dog who is nervous around ladders and paint rollers.
     
    I took her to her doggy day care as this wears her out.
     
    I'd planned on breakfast and lunch as I had meetings to attend. I drank breakfast on the way to the morning meeting. I ordered tea only but was sort of wistfully sad when a colleague ordered my favourite breakfast sandwich and sat next to me. I focused on ignoring her until she was done. As I was at a restaurant and because I had time to kill until a much later appointment I went outside to get my iPad and "lunch". When I picked up the bag and had already gotten it inside I realized that the shake had opened and had spilled its contents onto my SmartShape paperwork and onto my chargers. I got a load of napkins and pulled stuff out of the bag. I'm sue I looked ridiculous as it's colour - due to me adding a packet of crystal light to the vanilla shake looked a bit like blood. I caught MANY looks and a manager came over after asking if he could help me. Once I told him what had happened he laughed his head off.
     
    The manager left and then I had to hunt an electrical outlet because of course my iPad was out of juice - typical. I knew that some seating areas had outlets but I had a hard time discerning which ones because the baseboards are painted black as are the outlets. I asked a waitress for help but she was just unsure of which tables had the outlets.
     
    Now I'm not tiny. I'm 5'11" and I weigh 250 lbs. bending over to try to see is a challenge. I decided that because I HAD to get some of this work done that I'd have to get down on my hands and knees to see if I could see the &$(!?$$ outlet. I crawled underneath the table and finally was able to see it. So picture this - my full (REALLY full) moon was in the air and because I'm so tall I keep knocking my but and my head on the table threatening to overturn it. I look up and can see the shins of others passing by and two women who are sitting across from my table say "where's the wacko with the bloody bag". I emerged from under the table and smiled at them and said "right here"
     
    As I left the restaurant I stopped and bought hubby a treat ignoring my most favourite cookie.
     
    What a day. I'm admitting to hunger on occasion, but I haven't eaten anything I'm not allowed.
     
    Having seemingly non stop chaos at home leaves me tired. By tomorrow the painters will be in the basement and I should be able to mostly working from home.
     
    No access to pictures. Feels odd to end this without a picture. Tomorrow I'll post two to make up!
  14. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from Leepers for a blog entry, Days 6 & 7   
    I sort of thought that as time went on, this liquid pre-op would get easier. In some ways it does and in other ways it bites.
     
    I'm tired of just liquid and vegetables. Ah, I'll soldier on. I keep reminding myself that once I hear what I've lost during this pre-op phase that I'll be happy with myself.
     
    I do far better earlier in the day, as the day wanes on from about 4pm onwards I'm out of energy and interest. I'm working on making that a positive. I find myself pretty reflective as I work through emotional issues. If I don't work through some of those issues I don't feel I'll be successful because we all do this to ourselves for some reason.
     
    On Tuesday when I left my therapist I wanted donuts. In a former life I'd stop, go in the drive through, and buy two donuts and eat them in a huge hurry because I was on my way home. But after leaving her office, I wondered why I wanted them. Sure, there is their great taste, but I know it's beyond just how they taste. I think part of it sugar addiction. I've often wondered if Skippy dog food had a sugar variety if I'd eat that too.
     
    I wanted to feel full. I could finally name that. I wanted to feel full. Full of what? Warmth spreading from within me when I eat, enveloped in sugar love. So I really examined that, really thought about it and of course, didn't buy the donuts, which not long after I got home I'd forgotten about them anyway.
     
    Can food be love? You can surely love food, but isn't there something 'right' or correct about loving what well balanced food can do for you as a tool. Making you feel better, making your body work for you (me), filling it with nutrition. I can love food, and do but I think an important distinction is that I abuse food. I eat unhealthy food, I consume it in great quantities, I use it maybe to remind myself that I'm not all that great, not all that loved. **** that's awful.
     
    Just free thinking here.
     
    6 days until surgery
     

  15. Like
    NancyintheNorth reacted to rhodywoman for a blog entry, Origins of Overeating   
    Many of you can probably relate to the seemingly never ending yo-yo dieting of a fat person. As I sit here and get pretty retrospective as I await my first introductory meeting at the surgeons I can't help but thinking about the journey before this journey. The many attempts at losing weight over the years and I've learned a few things about myself in the process.
     
    From when I was twelve years old I have a memory that I won't likely forget. I was putting on a little weight and I had to go to the doctor for my annual physical. After they weighed me and took my vitals I had to bring my physical paper and chart to the next room. On it was 148 lbs and the notation "grossly overweight."
     
    Grossly overweight. It was bad enough that gross was already a term with negative connotation having it used in the 80's made it worse. Gross was a Valley Girl slang term that was as overused as "twerk" and "YOLO" are overused today. When I saw it my heart hit the floor. I had to hand this paper to a doctor and he will also know my totally gross status. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I didn't crawl into a hole and I didn't die. I did, however, crawl into a bag of cookies and gorged. That moment may just be the very first time I took a negative situation that gave me a bad feeling and numbed it out with cookies. It wouldn't be the last.
     
    Using food as a coping strategy only made matters worse when the general population likes to celebrate with food. So now food is great if I'm happy, sad, angry, mad, or any other emotion. So then food became not a fuel source but an anchor. An anchor that has weighed me down -- literally -- for 30 years.
     
    I know that I'm not going to be successful with any form of weight loss until I change my attitude toward food and last year I purchased a book titled: The Binge Eating and Compulsive Overeating Workbook - An Integrative Approach to Overcoming Disordered Eating. I started to read it and answer the questions and then I put it down. I probably told myself I was too busy (I wasn't) but honestly I didn't enjoy uncovering all the emotion behind WHY I eat. I put it on a shelf for several months.
     
    Picking it up again when I decided that I was going to look into surgery it really hit me that my problem is more that I tend not to feel my feelings because I fear I may be ruled by them so instead I tend to swallow them... usually chased with ice cream. Like I said earlier until I understand my eating and the emotions from my eating this will be another trip on the yo-yo train and I'm not going to have a major surgery, redesign my insides, and then go back to my old habits. It's time. I'm not twelve anymore but I am truly grossly overweight and I'm sick of it. It's time to do the work.
     
    QUESTION: Do you eat your feelings? If you did would exploring it further have helped you on this journey after surgery?
  16. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from luckyknickers57 for a blog entry, Day 3 Pre-Op   
    I'm tired, really tired and pretty weak. On the other hand, I'm soooooooooo glad to be on this pre-op because it's helping me so much in gaining control.
     
    Yesterday it dawned on me that the Unjury Chicken Soup wasn't discussed in any of the handouts I have. I checked with the dietician and she says it's off limits during this phase, so yesterday, it was just Slim Time for me. I tried the chocolate during lunch and used the chocolate and put in a fair amount of peppermint extract. Made me imagine that I was eating Girl Scout Thin Mints. Any trick will work for me.
     
    Other than being tired I feel fine, hungry at times but I just continue to swamp myself with water. I'm glad that I drank a lot of water before I started this (it's maybe the ONE good thing I've done for a long long time), otherwise I'd struggle to get it all in.
     
    Along with surgery, I'm also spending time with a therapist who specializes in obesity and family issues. I've long been convinced that my eating difficulties are related to 'stuffing' emotional issues. I can see now how I had few outlets for my emotions and that translated into me eating to sooth myself. I have to learn new behaviours.
     
    I'm glad I'm doing therapy at the same time. I think my odds of relapsing will be lessened if I could just get a handle on why I do what I do (binge eating, overeating, etc.) and how to stop doing what I've always done.
     
    It's not to say that I think I wouldn't relapse - god that scares me SO much. My parents were alcoholic and they never relapsed but they talked about how easy it is, and I equate this to something like alcoholism - an addiction. Once I start with the carbohydrates and the sweet stuff I am lost and reigning myself in is very very difficult.
     
    I'm blessed that I can have this surgery and for now, I'm grateful for the pre-op diet.
     

  17. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from kurusz for a blog entry, Day 2 Pre-op   
    I'm just about to go on my walk and then have lunch afterwards. Last night I was so tired and I think it's the shock of the diet, plus yesterday they took a ton of blood from me for pre-surgery testing, plus my walk. A slight headache today.
     
    I've been using the Vanilla Slim Time and have added a packet of raspberry crystal light. DELISH
     
    As a snack I've been using Unjury chicken soup...also well worth the money.
     

  18. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from luckyknickers57 for a blog entry, On the downlow   
    So I've decided after 'testing' my news about a lap band, that I won't be sharing the information with everyone.
     
    I'm lucky in that I have great girlfriends who are usually open minded about most things. Apparently though that stops at weight loss surgery. I mentioned that I was considering lap bad surgery and what an uproar that caused. No, no, just eat right and exercise (like I haven't tried that a bazillion times. Oh why would you do any such surgery like that - have another cookie. Do you know what the failure rate is?
     
    BLAH BLAH BLAH
     
    I try to be an independent gal. I like to do research, I like to investigate and I really like to decide for myself no matter who says what. And I did a lot of research and I question a lot. I've read posts here on this site and on other sites too. Sometimes people 'failed' for reasons beyond their control. But often it seems that people don't do well because they don't want to work. This will be work! But I welcome that type of work and remain positive that if I comply and follow the rules, the band will work for me.
     
    I've decided to not share my upcoming surgery plans for now. I don't want negative energy, I don't want those that love 'hovering' and watching every move, or calling constantly to try to 'help' me. I want to remain in the sunny side focusing on my health and what is right for me in my circumstances.
     
    In the world we need more support and those that see what isn't right for them may just be the right thing for others.
     

  19. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from luckyknickers57 for a blog entry, On the downlow   
    So I've decided after 'testing' my news about a lap band, that I won't be sharing the information with everyone.
     
    I'm lucky in that I have great girlfriends who are usually open minded about most things. Apparently though that stops at weight loss surgery. I mentioned that I was considering lap bad surgery and what an uproar that caused. No, no, just eat right and exercise (like I haven't tried that a bazillion times. Oh why would you do any such surgery like that - have another cookie. Do you know what the failure rate is?
     
    BLAH BLAH BLAH
     
    I try to be an independent gal. I like to do research, I like to investigate and I really like to decide for myself no matter who says what. And I did a lot of research and I question a lot. I've read posts here on this site and on other sites too. Sometimes people 'failed' for reasons beyond their control. But often it seems that people don't do well because they don't want to work. This will be work! But I welcome that type of work and remain positive that if I comply and follow the rules, the band will work for me.
     
    I've decided to not share my upcoming surgery plans for now. I don't want negative energy, I don't want those that love 'hovering' and watching every move, or calling constantly to try to 'help' me. I want to remain in the sunny side focusing on my health and what is right for me in my circumstances.
     
    In the world we need more support and those that see what isn't right for them may just be the right thing for others.
     

  20. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from Leepers for a blog entry, Just wondering   
    My surgery date is March 12th. So grateful to have the date and in many ways I wish it was sooner and yet I'm glad for preparation time.
     
    I know people that have had bariatric surgery of one sort or another and I seen their - well - their lack of success. Both have gained back all of their weight. One person is working to restore her health, the other isn't.
     
    In this past year I've examined obesity. What keeps people obese? Why is losing weight so hard? Why is keeping it off harder? I'm closer to some of those answers but not totally clear on all of it yet - if I ever will be.
     
    A part of my decision making on have a lap-band put in is that I want to better understand the psychological reasons for why I do what I do? And I decided that for me, the connection I must make is with a therapist, a doctor, and as I progress with both of those - surgery.
     
    Interestingly enough - the people that I do know that have eaten around their surgery had limited support. Both people had their surgery away from their homes and struggled to find outside support. I know I have to take full advantage of the support I have at home and with my team.
     
    Do you think support groups and some sort of team support has helped you?
  21. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from dylanmiles23 for a blog entry, An Introduction   
    Hello there, I'm your Lardy Duchess and I'm wanting to write about my weight loss journey.
     
    I was a skinny child, really skinny, and was sometimes called "boney". I haven't been called that in many years and really, I'm not aiming for that ever again. In my late teens I began to gain weight.
     
    Somewhere in the 1980's I lost all that excess weight, and promptly put it all back on. I think at the time I just thought that simply because I lost it once, I was good for a lifetime. Since then I've been on every diet known to mankind. I don't want to name them all here, but I can't think of one well known or notoriously horrid 'diet' I haven't been on. I've tried deprivation, excessive exercise and now, now that I'm in my mid 50's, I'm announcing right here, right now, I'm done with all of that. It's destructive and harsh and horrible.
     
    For those that say - well now come on Duchess - you can do it. Just control yourself and exercise, I say yep, that is great, everyone should do that. I can do that - until I can't do that. Until I can't stop myself. This is like an addiction - on the wagon - off the wagon. Dieting/not dieting. It never ever ends. I come from a family with addiction and abuse issues. That's not an excuse - it's merely a reality. And I feel addicted to food. Unhealthy food in unlimited portions, in scary sizes. It dominates me, dominates my thoughts, controls me. If you've ever been there, you get it. If you've never been there, I suspect you won't understand.
     
    Then again this blog isn't for you either probably. Many things have contributed to this weight loss blog and I'll be writing about some of those issues, but I also value my privacy and may elect to not be public about everything. It feels like if I write it all down, and tell those that can relate on some level, that somehow, someway I'll mend myself - a selfish endeavor maybe, but it's my truth.
  22. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from Leepers for a blog entry, Just wondering   
    My surgery date is March 12th. So grateful to have the date and in many ways I wish it was sooner and yet I'm glad for preparation time.
     
    I know people that have had bariatric surgery of one sort or another and I seen their - well - their lack of success. Both have gained back all of their weight. One person is working to restore her health, the other isn't.
     
    In this past year I've examined obesity. What keeps people obese? Why is losing weight so hard? Why is keeping it off harder? I'm closer to some of those answers but not totally clear on all of it yet - if I ever will be.
     
    A part of my decision making on have a lap-band put in is that I want to better understand the psychological reasons for why I do what I do? And I decided that for me, the connection I must make is with a therapist, a doctor, and as I progress with both of those - surgery.
     
    Interestingly enough - the people that I do know that have eaten around their surgery had limited support. Both people had their surgery away from their homes and struggled to find outside support. I know I have to take full advantage of the support I have at home and with my team.
     
    Do you think support groups and some sort of team support has helped you?
  23. Like
    NancyintheNorth got a reaction from dylanmiles23 for a blog entry, An Introduction   
    Hello there, I'm your Lardy Duchess and I'm wanting to write about my weight loss journey.
     
    I was a skinny child, really skinny, and was sometimes called "boney". I haven't been called that in many years and really, I'm not aiming for that ever again. In my late teens I began to gain weight.
     
    Somewhere in the 1980's I lost all that excess weight, and promptly put it all back on. I think at the time I just thought that simply because I lost it once, I was good for a lifetime. Since then I've been on every diet known to mankind. I don't want to name them all here, but I can't think of one well known or notoriously horrid 'diet' I haven't been on. I've tried deprivation, excessive exercise and now, now that I'm in my mid 50's, I'm announcing right here, right now, I'm done with all of that. It's destructive and harsh and horrible.
     
    For those that say - well now come on Duchess - you can do it. Just control yourself and exercise, I say yep, that is great, everyone should do that. I can do that - until I can't do that. Until I can't stop myself. This is like an addiction - on the wagon - off the wagon. Dieting/not dieting. It never ever ends. I come from a family with addiction and abuse issues. That's not an excuse - it's merely a reality. And I feel addicted to food. Unhealthy food in unlimited portions, in scary sizes. It dominates me, dominates my thoughts, controls me. If you've ever been there, you get it. If you've never been there, I suspect you won't understand.
     
    Then again this blog isn't for you either probably. Many things have contributed to this weight loss blog and I'll be writing about some of those issues, but I also value my privacy and may elect to not be public about everything. It feels like if I write it all down, and tell those that can relate on some level, that somehow, someway I'll mend myself - a selfish endeavor maybe, but it's my truth.

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