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patrice1

Gastric Sleeve Patients
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  1. Like
    patrice1 reacted to PRINCESSM in Dating after Weight Loss Surgery   
    Frank that's terrible, I hope she can see how wrong that is! Easy for me to say because I just like men... Not picky Enough! The shallowness of judging based just on appearance just makes me sad
  2. Like
    patrice1 reacted to jjinWA in Dating after Weight Loss Surgery   
    I have heard of similar instances such as you expressed here Frank. Not being an expert on this topic or anything close to it I cannot express this in professional terms, but instead wonder myself if this is her way of trying to hold on to what seems secure to her. As you lose weight you become more confident, etc. and she fears you may become more attractive to other women. She loves you and does not want to lose you. You being 360 lbs makes her feel more secure then you bring 220 lbs. be sure to make her feel special no matter what you weigh and let her know she is the only one for you. Nth at may help.
  3. Like
    patrice1 reacted to jjinWA in Dating after Weight Loss Surgery   
    I love your word "softer" much better then mine ( fat or overweight). I will always refer to myself now as a kinder "softer" person. Really that is a terrific way to reference ourselves when we weigh a bit more then Twiggy! Thank you for that!
  4. Like
    patrice1 reacted to planningband07 in Dating after Weight Loss Surgery   
    Not all men are the way you describe. I have mostly dated men from other countries or racial backgrounds than mine because every other country or race in the world, except the typical white american or European men, like their women softer
  5. Like
    patrice1 reacted to jjinWA in Dating after Weight Loss Surgery   
    Trying to find a soul mate when you are overweight is open to multiple pitfalls. Honestly I find online dating to be similar to a "kid in a candy store." Most guys check in to try a sweet treat and nothing more. They really only want the "perfect" piece with a great wrapper! Never mind the fact that he might be a stale piece of old Jerky himself. Ha! Saddest thing of all is the fact that really great, kind, loving, caring, intelligent, gorgeous women are never looked at or considered to be asked out on a date simply because they are overweight. A girl can be a complete "B", be in debt up to her arse, have no education, have 10 kids, been divorced 5 times, and be unemployed and she will be seen as a better choice over a girl who has none of those concerns (let alone all of them).... And instead will be shunned simply because she is overweight. The guy will not even look her way and will never know what he missed! I am not saying any one of those traits I mentioned here are cause to look down on a person..... BUT, being overweight is always the first eliminator! I could simply say to the guy " I may be fat, but you are stupid.... And I can lose weight." But let's face it, the whole dating process for an overweight woman is hurtful, painful, and even lonely at times. Yes, there are a few princes out there, but the warts you get from every frog you meet does put an extreme overload on the self worth, and self confidence that we struggle so hard to maintain. This might be partially true for some overweight men, but I firmly believe that more women are willing to look past such imperfections then there are men who can make claim to that virtue. For me.... Well I am lucky... Been married for 40 years. Yup, he is a prince in every sense of the word. But I gotta ask myself.... I was very young and very petite when I met him. I was 19 and he was 24.... Wonder if he would have even looked my way had I weighed 225 lbs, as I do today. He may have never gotten the chance to get to know me and to share all these wonderful 40 years together simply because being fat did not warrant a second look. Just thinking that I might have missed out on meeting my true soulmate simply because my weight might have stopped him from walking across the room to meet me truly breaks my heat.....Because I know that happens all too often in real life. I see if first hand with my daughters, who are also too heavy to warrant a second look.
  6. Like
    patrice1 reacted to JeanZ_RN in Dating after Weight Loss Surgery   
    I'm 60 years old, have been divorced for many years, and after a few going-nowhere relationships I just quit trying to date. Being at my heaviest during that time was either the chicken or the egg - I don't know which.
    A couple of months ago I signed up for LoveAfterWLS.com, but as it happens there aren't any men in Texas signed up there. Yesterday I checked in at that site again, and there still aren't any. So, having heard of PlentyOfFish on this site, I signed up there. I found several interesting profiles within 75 miles of my home, and I messaged back and forth with 3 of the guys. I've already had a telephone conversation with the most interesting one, and we're going to meet later this week. Woot Woot!
    For CowgirlJane: My bet is that you intimidate men by being so very good looking. Seriously!
  7. Like
    patrice1 reacted to Ginger Snaps in Dating after Weight Loss Surgery   
    OK -- so this thread inspired me so I signed up on Plenty of Fish... If nothing else, I'm enjoying reading through profiles and looking at pics.
    I got 1-2 hits by email and actually ended up meeting a guy Saturday night at a local micro-brewery (probably not the best choice for me because I don't like beer). It was intimidating as all heck but I did it -- put myself out there and had a pretty nice time. Not a love match but pleasant enough to spend an evening with.
    Probably will be more fun when I'm down to goal weight and the self confidence is through the roof!
    lol
    Ginger
  8. Like
    patrice1 reacted to erp in Dating after Weight Loss Surgery   
    Lots of frogs to go through
  9. Like
    patrice1 reacted to RNBSN786 in Dating after Weight Loss Surgery   
    I was in a 3.5 yr relationship which ended last year before I started to see my surgeon and unfortunately my ex could not get over me being over weight. He was some what ok with it but knew his family would have an issue with it. He knew I was going through WLS at some point but didn't want to wait cause to him it was all about pleasing his family. Unfortunately Indian culture is all about how the person looks and what the family thinks. We broke up and he got married 2 months later (arrange marriage with a $100k dowry)...and he lives 2 blocks from me. I have not ran I to and don't plan on it but it hurt a lot. Now that I am on the right track to lose the weight, I don't care for him much but care for myself more than anything in this world. I do want to start dating again but I think I will be ready 6 months down the road. Also I am starting a new job as a director which will take up a lot of my time and I will be working out which is my priority over anyone or anything. Once I am ready I will join some local organizations and websites to meet people.
  10. Like
    patrice1 reacted to Ginger Snaps in Dating after Weight Loss Surgery   
    I hear ya' Cowgirl... it's harder when it seems like everyone you know is married and all their friends are married... very different scene from 20's or early 30's when there are still a lot of single people around. And I think some of the guys in the 50's area want younger trophy types anyway.
    I think it's funny how many guys on the online sites post pictures of their cars or fish they caught or motorcycles... things that other guys would be interested in. Just who are they trying to attract anyway??? lol
  11. Like
    patrice1 reacted to piercedqt78 in Dating after Weight Loss Surgery   
    I met my husband at a bowling alley. I was there with friends, and he was there with co-workers. I told one of my male friends not to sit next to me, I didn't want the good looking guy to think I was taken. LOL Turns out my guy friend had worked with the guys I pointed to, and walked over to talk to them. I wanted to crawl under the table, as my bff has no brain to mouth filter (why we are besties) and I had no clue what he was saying. He pointed my direction, and I lifted the drink menu over my face like I was soooooo interested in the beer specials. What he was actually doing was showing them where were were sitting. When they finished their "team building exercise" several of them joined us on our lane for the next few hours of bowling, drinking and just a general good time. 3 of those guys asked for my number, only one was interested the other 2 were planning on telling him I had asked them to pass the # on to him. He called me a few days later and we started seeing each other for odd dates, I worked nights and he did daytime retail management, so time was limited. This was in Feb of 2000, I got hurt at work in late April, and he very kindly offered to come and sleep on the sofa and help take care of me. When I returned to work 6 weeks later, I asked if he was leaving or if he wanted a key. He took the key, and a few weeks later told me that we needed to talk. I thought for sure he was moving out and breaking up with me. He told me that he had never seen me wear jewelry so he didn't know my taste, he got down on one knee and proposed. We were married that Oct, in a bowling Alley (where else?) and have been together for 14 years this year. He's not a knight in shining armor, but he's also not a retard in a tin foil hat either. He is the father of my only child, my best friend, and the one person that I never have to doubt when it comes to having my back. Like Forest Gump says "we are like peas and carrots" he has always dated bigger girls, so I was a little worried when I started getting thinner. Just a few weeks ago he told me that I look amazing, and he is proud of my weight loss, and the fact that I did this to get healthy for myself, and our family.
    I said all of that to say this, I had planned to get a few beers and bowl a few games with my friends that night and met my future husband. I wasn't looking for anyone and he just dropped into my life. Sometimes the dating sites, looking too hard makes you walk past the one that you should have seen. Best of luck to those getting back into the dating scene.
  12. Like
    patrice1 reacted to piercedqt78 in Dating after Weight Loss Surgery   
    sometimes it's not the body changes that attracts people, but the confidence, pride, and self worth that makes you stand out.
  13. Like
    patrice1 reacted to terry1118 in Dating after Weight Loss Surgery   
    You will find someone who loves you for you. When the right one comes along it won't matter where you are in your journey. When it's right, it's right. Be patient. And in the meantime you'll get to figure out who you REALLY are inside! Many of us are hiding behind our weight. We find new confidence, self assurance, and self discovery! When you love yourself others see you differently and will love you too. Each pound lost allows a little more of that special person to shine through... :-)
  14. Like
    patrice1 got a reaction from skinnygirlwithin in What will you (or did you) most look forward to in your life after WLS?   
    Skinny Girl - SO exciting! I can't wait. I can so relate to everything you said! Your results sound fabulous, and I can't wait to get my life back too.
  15. Like
    patrice1 got a reaction from betty_s in What will you (or did you) most look forward to in your life after WLS?   
    SO many great responses! Thank you all! Love them. If you think of others, post again. This is really inspiring for me. It makes me cry but in a good way. I can relate to about everything said here, for sure. I think we all can. And... I can't wait for my clothes to be baggy! It's been a LONG time since that happened.
  16. Like
    patrice1 reacted to skinnygirlwithin in What will you (or did you) most look forward to in your life after WLS?   
    WOW! what a great post! where to start - I mean besides mostly everything that has been said in the above posts...
    I no longer liked who i was... how i felt... I was so ashamed... I no longer wanted to do anything... besides going to work; I declined invites to do really anything...
    I too was a hot sweaty mess, legs rubbing together, and just feeling uncomfortable within my own skin.
    When i would have to use the bathrooms at work, i would pray that the handicap stall would be open... and lets NOT even discuss the whole "trying to wipe my hiney" syndrome!!!
    Now 5 ½ months later – down 80lbs and I feel better now than I did when I use to be thin… I think this is the BEST I have ever felt!! I am starting to run… (WAIT WHAT?? - ME RUN??? OMG its true!!!) I am healthier, I feel great….. Love being able to shop in any store... I am wearing clothes that haven fit in 10 years!
    I just can’t believe I got my life back!!!
  17. Like
    patrice1 got a reaction from betty_s in What will you (or did you) most look forward to in your life after WLS?   
    SO many great responses! Thank you all! Love them. If you think of others, post again. This is really inspiring for me. It makes me cry but in a good way. I can relate to about everything said here, for sure. I think we all can. And... I can't wait for my clothes to be baggy! It's been a LONG time since that happened.
  18. Like
    patrice1 reacted to pink dahlia in What will you (or did you) most look forward to in your life after WLS?   
    I read the above posts , and to those who are having their surgery soon, just hang in there ! - All I did was follow my Drs rules 95% of the time, and the weight started falling off ! I averaged 1 - 1.5 lbs a week, sometimes less, but I kept a daily log of food and weight and I could see a pattern at the end of every month. I dont live and die by the scale, I just use it as a guideline to help me make good daily choices. When your clothes start getting baggy, because you're exercising and eating better, you' ll be sooooo glad you did this ! ( Honey, I have to go shopping at Goodwill for smaller clothes again ! ) Good luck ! ♡♡♡♡♡!
  19. Like
    patrice1 reacted to BigGirlPanties in What will you (or did you) most look forward to in your life after WLS?   
    I'd say "ditto" on almost all of the above
    I have RA, so losing weight was a MUST for relief in my legs .... I also had to lose weight to get my knees replaced, but since I could barely move, I just kept gaining...
    This surgery has been a god-send to me (as to may others, I'm sure)... I may not be at the goal I set for myself (yet)...but I'm maintaining and I'm moving and I'm becoming happier with who I am and not "what" I am
  20. Like
    patrice1 reacted to Ginger Snaps in What will you (or did you) most look forward to in your life after WLS?   
    I want to go into one of those touristy boutique clothing shops and find clothes that fit... Smalls, mediums or larges. I hate being limited to a couple of plus sized chain shops.
    And I want to look at myself sideways in a mirror and not have my eyes immediately go to my belly and think how much I hate how I look.
  21. Like
    patrice1 reacted to Sparklingbeauty53 in What will you (or did you) most look forward to in your life after WLS?   
    I had RNY in March and I made a journal of these type of thoughts, feelings, pictures of outfits I looked forward to, thoughts and reflections, etc. It is fun to go to whenever I need it or want.
    Big for me was I want to not be an obstacle people move around.
    I want to express my classic style in clothes that fit-not what is available in my size.
    I want to feel good in my own skin.
    Hope.
    Now that I am 39 pounds lighter I do feel HOPE and it is amazing! I cleaned out my closet and clothes were too big and lots fit, and looked great. HOPE! It is amazing. HOPEFUL FOR THE FUTURE!
    No meds for diabetes! HOPE!
    I now want to be in pictures! Imagine that!
  22. Like
    patrice1 reacted to nerms in What will you (or did you) most look forward to in your life after WLS?   
    I can't wait to look incredible on my 21st birthday and have a great time!
    I'm usually the most miserable person at my own party and can't wait for everyone to leave.
  23. Like
    patrice1 reacted to MRhynard11 in What will you (or did you) most look forward to in your life after WLS?   
    -I look forward to having pride in my yard again. I would love a garden or flower beds but I get too tired just pulling a few weeds.
    -I look forward to "shopping" in my closet- I have so many clothes in different sizes and some I haven't seen or been able to wear in 10 years.This time, I swear I'm donating my big clothes.
    -I can't wait to take pictures of myself!
    -I'm excited to walk my dogs. Believe me, they are too! My ankles start hurting almost right away so we turn back. Each evening after dinner, I watch the couples in my neighborhood walking their dogs after dinner. I want my husband and I to be them! That looks like so much more fun than laying on the couch because I ate too much and have no energy.
    - I don't want my son to be embarrassed of me.
    - I'm excited to not have my day revolve around planning meals.
    - I want to wear my polka-dot one piece bathing suit. I bought it when I lost some weight years ago. It's the first bathing suit in at least 10 years that doesn't have a skirt. AND, I want to be able to wear it without chafing!!
    - I want to get off of all of my asthma medication!
    - I want to become more of an extrovert. I'm so shy that I have trouble looking people in the eye and can't make small talk. I think a lot of that is because I'm embarrassed of myself.
    I feel like I could go on and on. This is such a good topic. I'd like to go back months from now after my surgery and re-read my responses if I'm feeling low or craving something I shouldn't eat. My new life begins on June 24th and I absolutely can't wait!!
  24. Like
    patrice1 reacted to ☠carolinagirl☠ in What will you (or did you) most look forward to in your life after WLS?   
    i wanted/needed to have surgery to (walk) as i was having trouble walking any distance and also because wiping my hiney was getting hard to do...short arms only reach so far.......and my son told me i was going to be a grandmother..i needed to get (healthy) for her....and 2 yrs later....i am healthier..and that is what WLS is all about........
    that and me wearing my 6 inch wedges again♥
  25. Like
    patrice1 reacted to nerms in What will you (or did you) most look forward to in your life after WLS?   
    I look forward to be able to go shopping for clothes and leave satisfied and looking good instead of having anxiety attacks and blasting out of the shop crying because nothing fits!
    I look forward to not having my day ruined because I saw my own reflection in a window!
    I look forward to living a happier and healthier life, enjoying activities with my friends and family!

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