teacherlady2133

Today I can say I was very proud! Wore a size 12 dress today and bought a size 10 pants yesterday.. Had a coworker tell me what size of panty hose I need just by looking at me... Weight is still coming off even though I am not following things very well lately... Down to 187... 12 more pounds and I have lost 1/2 of my old self.. Wow!!!

Married 16 years... My husband has been Very supportive, but there has been issues.. One comes from others... He gets very upset when others say I bet he is so excited and happy, or what does your husband think... He takes them questioning that he loved me heavy.. Or that now he loves me more since I am thinner..
Something else I think has happened is how to handle my new interest or new experiences I want to have.. Sometimes the tension of doing things together where I want to try things and he wants to watch is there...
The emotions of all the physical changes can also causes tension.. My own tears still over clothes fitting right. He is kind and tries to understand I have good days and bad days no matter my size...
He tells me everyday I am his world and anything that will keep me here longer was worth everything we go through...we did this for my health... And it has gotten so much better...

Be prepared for it to change... You will change, your outlook on things will change, and how you allow others to treat you will change...I have had only one friend that I lost.. But I think it was a combination of things going on... Her own issues of fitting in and proving herself as good enough... She has taken up working out and eating different and changing her life which I am glad, but I am not competing with anyone anymore... I am too old for that high school stuff... My family has been very supportive even when they can not relate to my issues... They try... I have one friend that supports the changes in me... Tells me all the time she likes the new me.. How I am more out going and voice my stuff more...
This is more than just a physical change... I wish I knew before surgery more how my thoughts and feelings would have to adjust...

Was am to stand and wash all the Thanksgiving dishes by hand for 44 people without getting my belly soaked from the Water and sink..

Got to love children.... I was told can't believe how flexible you are now mom. You can crawl into a ball in chairs. I hadn't noticed but I like sitting with my legs up tight to my chest.. Big change to have my knees to my chest...

I love reading young adult books. I am a middle school teacher and in college I was talking to a professor about my love for reading stopping or slowing down as I became an adult. She informed me to go back to reading young adult books and see what happens.
Recent reads: One Crazy Summer, Walton's go to Birmingham, Walk two moons, Night, The presidents has been shot, Outcast United

Just finished reading Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell. I loved it and can understand why it is a NY Times Bestseller. It is a young adult novel and is a romance story. This book took me back to high school. I am so happy that this genre exists for my children as it addresses issues and situations teens face. So instead of growing up on my dad's finished adult books like I did, my kids have fabulous quality literature during the times they need it most. Now onto reading another YA book!
Btw, YA books (books written for 12-18year olds) make for a refreshing break from adult novels. The chapters are short (cuz teen attention spans are short) so you can easily finish the books within a couple of days

I recently finished "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks." It is in print and Kindle versions.
Description from Amazon: This title is an international bestseller. Her name was Henrietta Lacks, but scientists know her as HeLa. She was a poor Southern tobacco farmer whose cancer cells - taken without her knowledge - became one of the most important tools in medicine. The first 'immortal' human tissue grown in culture, HeLa cells were vital for developing the polio vaccine; uncovered secrets of cancer, viruses, and the effects of the atom bomb; helped lead to important advances like in vitro fertilization, cloning, and gene mapping; and, have been bought and sold by the billions. Yet Henrietta herself remains virtually unknown, buried in an unmarked grave.

"I'm so tired of talking about MY weight. Let's talk about YOURS instead." Said with a smile...

I got a reality check this weekend.. I was trying on clothing and wasn't happy about the fit and started complaining to my 14 year old daughter and she was "like really mom! You're not going to become like oh I am so fat! Stop complaining you're a size 12/14... You are smaller than a lot of woman." Then I look at my 14 year old daughter who is sitting there a 6ft tall, a size 18 thought how upsetting..to hear me complain about size when she has such a hard time fitting in... Oh worst mom moment ever!!!
Going to find contentment, so I can model contentment and self love...

Ok I took everyone's advice and started looking at photos.. Thought I would share...my heaviest 350... Surgery day 4/28/14 305 and current 197.

Ok I took everyone's advice and started looking at photos.. Thought I would share...my heaviest 350... Surgery day 4/28/14 305 and current 197.

I got a reality check this weekend.. I was trying on clothing and wasn't happy about the fit and started complaining to my 14 year old daughter and she was "like really mom! You're not going to become like oh I am so fat! Stop complaining you're a size 12/14... You are smaller than a lot of woman." Then I look at my 14 year old daughter who is sitting there a 6ft tall, a size 18 thought how upsetting..to hear me complain about size when she has such a hard time fitting in... Oh worst mom moment ever!!!
Going to find contentment, so I can model contentment and self love...

Married 16 years... My husband has been Very supportive, but there has been issues.. One comes from others... He gets very upset when others say I bet he is so excited and happy, or what does your husband think... He takes them questioning that he loved me heavy.. Or that now he loves me more since I am thinner..
Something else I think has happened is how to handle my new interest or new experiences I want to have.. Sometimes the tension of doing things together where I want to try things and he wants to watch is there...
The emotions of all the physical changes can also causes tension.. My own tears still over clothes fitting right. He is kind and tries to understand I have good days and bad days no matter my size...
He tells me everyday I am his world and anything that will keep me here longer was worth everything we go through...we did this for my health... And it has gotten so much better...

Ok I took everyone's advice and started looking at photos.. Thought I would share...my heaviest 350... Surgery day 4/28/14 305 and current 197.

I got a reality check this weekend.. I was trying on clothing and wasn't happy about the fit and started complaining to my 14 year old daughter and she was "like really mom! You're not going to become like oh I am so fat! Stop complaining you're a size 12/14... You are smaller than a lot of woman." Then I look at my 14 year old daughter who is sitting there a 6ft tall, a size 18 thought how upsetting..to hear me complain about size when she has such a hard time fitting in... Oh worst mom moment ever!!!
Going to find contentment, so I can model contentment and self love...

Ok, here I am down from 350 to 197 over 150 gone.. Sizes are amazing when looking at numbers size 12/14 from a 30/32 and medium from a 4x..Off all medication, except vitamins... Why can't I see it? I see just a shrunk up me.. I see rolls lots of them.. I love spanx..if I could I would sleep in them.. Not just for the look but the feel of my body being tight..
My goal weight was 180, I think my bones are made of steel! I am 5'8, turning 38, with 3 c-sections and over weight since I was 12...I am 9 months post-op from WLS.
I keep thinking loving myself the way I did at 350 has really messed up my body vision..what and how should I feel about myself now.. Do I learn to love me how I am, or should I be judging myself hard, so I keep pushing to make more and more changes...but the question is change into what? I mean the damage being over weight created on my body just isn't going away and now I am a super model...I think that is my problem... I want something to compare too and everyone is so different and has different background stories..
I am driving my family nuts when I ask if I am so and so size, or am I as small as her? Does this go away?

When your skinny jealous sister in law spends more time in the gym after seeing you lol!

When you can properly lay Tefillin.
(My arm was too big for my set!)

When you walk past a mirror and don't realize what you just saw was yourself!!

So much room in the bath tub..
I also do the handicap dressing room and go to the women sizes first. Size 30 to a 12 is a shocker..4x to a medium.
Passing people in the halls in the school building afraid I am in the way..
Sitting next to people in meetings.. Instead of on the outside so I don't take up too much table space..
Not having to ask people to stand up so I can get in around them. I still say excuses me and I am sorry and I am not even close to them.
sleeping next to my husband in bed.. Without having to have hundreds of pillows to be comfortable.. Never thought a king bed would feel too big!!

I got a reality check this weekend.. I was trying on clothing and wasn't happy about the fit and started complaining to my 14 year old daughter and she was "like really mom! You're not going to become like oh I am so fat! Stop complaining you're a size 12/14... You are smaller than a lot of woman." Then I look at my 14 year old daughter who is sitting there a 6ft tall, a size 18 thought how upsetting..to hear me complain about size when she has such a hard time fitting in... Oh worst mom moment ever!!!
Going to find contentment, so I can model contentment and self love...

Ok I took everyone's advice and started looking at photos.. Thought I would share...my heaviest 350... Surgery day 4/28/14 305 and current 197.

Ok I took everyone's advice and started looking at photos.. Thought I would share...my heaviest 350... Surgery day 4/28/14 305 and current 197.

I constantly ask my husband if I am hurting him sitting so close or leaning on him. That was my fear before and still is.. He laughs...Said never hurt before and now "Why would I even think that"