Comfy_Blue

Ugh, the dreaded pre-opt diet. I was assigned to do it for 7 days, but ended up doing it for 10 because I wanted to start on a Saturday instead of a Monday.
A lot of people said it gets easier, but for me, I felt hungry the entire time. I guess the only thing was somewhat easier is I got "used" to a gnawing, growling hunger. Like I'd feel it deep in my gut and it sucked, but I'd just say to myself, "You can have broth or a Protein shake. You are NOT going to eat meatballs/Chipotle/burgers".
At first my tummy would keep "crying" and rumbling that it didn't want those things, but I kept telling myself over and over "Protein Shake or broth. Otherwise, shut up stomach". My stomach still protested, but the cravings got easier to fight.
When I got home from work everyday, I would have a headache and feel drained, so I'd lay in bed, but be unable to get into a deep sleep. It was weird because here I'd be dog tired and hungry, but my body would go into a really, really light sleep where the slightest sound would jar me awake. Not very restful.
While this is probably not the best thing to do, what motivated me to keep going is I would periodically check the scale (again NOT endorsing this, it's just what worked for me).
At first my weight stayed the same, then I began to lose a pound here and there. The day of my surgery I had gone from 240lbs to 226lbs which felt good.
You CAN do this. I know it's not easy, but it'll be so worth it.

I'm still rather new to the game (it'll be 1 month in 3 days) and while I've had no regrets, there are a few things I miss about my pre-opt body and struggle with.
Disclaimer: Please do not let my experience sway anyone from this procedure. Whatever lifestyle you choose, even if it's eating whatever, whenever and as much as you want (which was me pre-opt) it's going to have downfalls and challenges.
I think of myself as like a recovering addict -- happy to be clean (which for me is losing weight and eating healthier and making better life style choices), but sometimes I miss the "high" that came from my pre-opt lifestyle.
1. Being able to drink and eat at the same time. Waiting 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after to drink is really difficult for me. I've cheated a couple times, like a few minutes ago. I had a low sugar, high Protein bar that was REALLY REALLY sweet to the point I could only eat half. I wanted some Water or milk to neutralize the sickly sweetness, but alas that 30 minute rule. I waited about 10 minutes, then I took a sip of milk because it felt like my throat was sticking together.
2. Not being able to comfort myself with food anymore. In my community, "food is love". So when my granddad died, everyone was bringing all sorts of yummy food to grandma's house, from traditional dishes, to other favorites like KFC chicken, Cookies, cake, sodas, juice, etc. Everyone was sitting around with plates of comfort. I tried to have a little bit of everything and it was VERY uncomfortable. For me, when I eat too much and/or too fast, the food feels stuck in my chest and like it's right at the back of my throat. It burns and I get a sensation like I need to vomit, but nothing comes up. This feeling lasts 30 - 45 minutes. So when I felt overwhelmingly sad bout Granddad, I had to ride the wave of pain, instead of shoving some chicken in my mouth and having it go away instantly.
3. Throwing away food (My grandparents lived through the Depression and my parents were Baby Boomers. So I was brought up not to waste food. With my tiny banana tummy, I am not able to eat nearly as much as I used to, but I still cook the same quantity of food. It is really hard for me to throw away half a pot of chili, or 6 chicken thighs, etc because of how I was raised, plus I think about people who don't have food in the world. To combat this, I purchased freezer bags, so whenever I cook, I freeze half and leave the other half for husband and I to eat during the week.
I also have started taking food to my parents house which they appreciate because it's healthy, home cooked, free and means Mom doesn't have to bother with prepping food for her and Dad)
4. Holiday Parties/Family Gatherings (I got sleeved on the 23rd which means I was on Clear liquids during three holiday parties and the early Christmas celebration my family held. That was REALLY hard because holidays are normally a time we gorge ourselves, then everyone lays around in a food induced haze laughing and talking.)
5. Not being able to guzzle Water anymore. I struggle to get in 64 oz of water because I no longer drink when I eat and I'm unable to drink as much in one sitting. When I was pre-opt, I used to down 20 - 30oz of water in one sitting. By lunch, I'd normally have gotten my daily intake. Now, I feel like I am sipping all day, and I'm still not meeting the 64oz mark.

THANK YOU so much ladies because I know my doctor said that I should wait to start trying two years from now, but I'm already 30. I don't want to WAIT until 32 because I know most people don't get pregnant right away. Plus my mother had fertility issues and she was 32 when she had me so...yeah.

THANK YOU so much ladies because I know my doctor said that I should wait to start trying two years from now, but I'm already 30. I don't want to WAIT until 32 because I know most people don't get pregnant right away. Plus my mother had fertility issues and she was 32 when she had me so...yeah.

Thanks LSP. I'm not planning to get pregnant yet, but sometimes things happen. I'm not using birth control because I don't like the side effects and I can't help but wonder what would happen if I get pregnant earlier than expected, especially if it's before the 18 month mark my surgeon gave me.
I want to have children but don't want to gain all my weight back. Thank you for making that possiblity a lot less scary.
If anyone else has an opinion/experience please chime in!

I've always loved the same kind of clothes, but when my body was bigger, they didn't fit/look right on me, so I never could dress the way I wanted. Bigger Me wore jeans and t-shirts with an occasional elastic waist-banded skirt thrown in.
Smaller Me wears cutsie mini dresses, colorful shorts that came above my knees, maxi dresses that cinch at the waist, skinny jeans, Bohemian tank tops, etc.
Some clothes still don't work for me (ie: my chest is a lot smaller now, so sometimes outfits will fit my wide bottom but be too loose on the top) but I can wear A LOT more stuff now than I can back then.
My absolute favorite thing is how easy it is for me to find stuff to wear when I need to dress up. I used to dread formal events because I knew it would take all day to find a dress that fit me and didn't look too matronly. Now, I can be in and out of any clothing store in 10 - 15 minutes with a wider selection of dresses. :-D

I've always loved the same kind of clothes, but when my body was bigger, they didn't fit/look right on me, so I never could dress the way I wanted. Bigger Me wore jeans and t-shirts with an occasional elastic waist-banded skirt thrown in.
Smaller Me wears cutsie mini dresses, colorful shorts that came above my knees, maxi dresses that cinch at the waist, skinny jeans, Bohemian tank tops, etc.
Some clothes still don't work for me (ie: my chest is a lot smaller now, so sometimes outfits will fit my wide bottom but be too loose on the top) but I can wear A LOT more stuff now than I can back then.
My absolute favorite thing is how easy it is for me to find stuff to wear when I need to dress up. I used to dread formal events because I knew it would take all day to find a dress that fit me and didn't look too matronly. Now, I can be in and out of any clothing store in 10 - 15 minutes with a wider selection of dresses. :-D

I'm 32 years old and was sleeved a couple years ago. It's completely changed my life for the better.
My husband is two years younger than me. When we met three years ago I was 250lbs and he weighed about 285lbs.
Now I weigh 145lbs and he's about 340 - 350ish. He has severe obstructive sleep apnea, has trouble walking up and down stairs, gets winded when sitting still, complains of joint pain, sweats profusely with minimal activity, has trouble breathing, and we almost never have sex anymore because its difficult since his stomach is very large and gets in the way no matter what position we try.
Earlier this week he went to bend down and grab something and his pants ripped leaving a huge gaping hole that can't be repaired.
When he eats, he moans after each bite and opens his mouth as wide as he can pushing in as much food as possible. I get worried when he drives because his stomach is almost touching the wheel which doesn't seem safe. :-(
Over the last few months he has broken a kitchen chair, one of the seats in my mom's car, my cousins bed and last night while we were talking in bed one of tue wooden slats on his side broke.
Our bed is practically brand new (we bought it in January along with the mattress), king size and not cheap. Because of his weight, my dad reinforced our bed when they put it together by adding 7 extra wooden slats (the bed came with 3) underneath.
My husband said it wasn't him, the wood was just weak. Later he tried to get into bed again and there was another loud crack and another slat broke. So he ended up sleeping on the couch and said he's going to order some steel bed slats from the Internet and then it'll be fine.
Despite all these things, he continues to refuse to have surgery. He says he can do it with weight watchers. He goes to meetings and loses .4 lbs, then gains 2lbs, then loses .8 lbs, then maybe another .2 lbs, then gains another 1.5 lbs and so on. It's not much progress and honestly I don't believe he can do it on his own because he doesn't track his points or exercise.
I talked to his parents about my concerns during Christmas. He got upset when they confronted him about it, then he stopped eating red meat for awhile and now he's right back at it.
I don't know what to do anymore. I love him but I'm so disgusted with how he's living his life. I try to be loving and supportive but I don't want my husband to die or get diabetes/have a heart attack/stroke etc. I've told him that and still he refuses the surgery.
I've cried, yelled, kept quiet, begged, demanded and so forth. I've talked about how my health and life have improved. I reminded him diabetes runs on both the matermal and paternal side of his family. His dad's diabetes have even led to kidney failure.
Nothing works. He just keeps saying he's making changes and is going to lose 200 lbs in three years.
Has anyone been through this or have advice?

I'm 32 years old and was sleeved a couple years ago. It's completely changed my life for the better.
My husband is two years younger than me. When we met three years ago I was 250lbs and he weighed about 285lbs.
Now I weigh 145lbs and he's about 340 - 350ish. He has severe obstructive sleep apnea, has trouble walking up and down stairs, gets winded when sitting still, complains of joint pain, sweats profusely with minimal activity, has trouble breathing, and we almost never have sex anymore because its difficult since his stomach is very large and gets in the way no matter what position we try.
Earlier this week he went to bend down and grab something and his pants ripped leaving a huge gaping hole that can't be repaired.
When he eats, he moans after each bite and opens his mouth as wide as he can pushing in as much food as possible. I get worried when he drives because his stomach is almost touching the wheel which doesn't seem safe. :-(
Over the last few months he has broken a kitchen chair, one of the seats in my mom's car, my cousins bed and last night while we were talking in bed one of tue wooden slats on his side broke.
Our bed is practically brand new (we bought it in January along with the mattress), king size and not cheap. Because of his weight, my dad reinforced our bed when they put it together by adding 7 extra wooden slats (the bed came with 3) underneath.
My husband said it wasn't him, the wood was just weak. Later he tried to get into bed again and there was another loud crack and another slat broke. So he ended up sleeping on the couch and said he's going to order some steel bed slats from the Internet and then it'll be fine.
Despite all these things, he continues to refuse to have surgery. He says he can do it with weight watchers. He goes to meetings and loses .4 lbs, then gains 2lbs, then loses .8 lbs, then maybe another .2 lbs, then gains another 1.5 lbs and so on. It's not much progress and honestly I don't believe he can do it on his own because he doesn't track his points or exercise.
I talked to his parents about my concerns during Christmas. He got upset when they confronted him about it, then he stopped eating red meat for awhile and now he's right back at it.
I don't know what to do anymore. I love him but I'm so disgusted with how he's living his life. I try to be loving and supportive but I don't want my husband to die or get diabetes/have a heart attack/stroke etc. I've told him that and still he refuses the surgery.
I've cried, yelled, kept quiet, begged, demanded and so forth. I've talked about how my health and life have improved. I reminded him diabetes runs on both the matermal and paternal side of his family. His dad's diabetes have even led to kidney failure.
Nothing works. He just keeps saying he's making changes and is going to lose 200 lbs in three years.
Has anyone been through this or have advice?

I do the exact same thing. Sometimes I just have to take a little drink, especially when I go to restaurants. It's really hard because the servers bring out drinks first and I never know how long the food will take.
So there're been times I will chug an entire glass of Water then 5 minutes later our food arrives and I can't eat any.
Other times (like last night) I didn't touch my glass of Water for fear the food would arrive any second and it ended up being about 45 minutes after placing the order.
I was pissed because I could've drunk for 10 minutes easily, then had enough time to wait.
So now I try to either drink on my way to the restaurant or take a few tiny sips of water if I'm feeling very thirsty the moment I get to the restaurant.

I choose "You are afraid of complications or side effects from weight loss surgery" because at the time, I didn't know anyone personally who had had the procedure. So, all I knew about WLS was what I saw on television and had heard second hand from others.
All I heard was negative stuff, like about losing your hair, dumping syndrome, people being lefts with 20+ lbs pounds of excess skin, people losing their teeth and getting brittle bones from malnutrition, slippage and eroding (lap band patients), people dying, people going through WLS and then gaining all their weight back.
I also saw a story about a woman who had WLS (can't remember which one anymore) but she kept losing and losing, and wasn't able to stop. She looked really sickly and I was afraid that might happen to me.
I also choose, "You do not know if it will help you lose weight" because I had tried EVERYTHING it seemed (phentermine, starving myself, Dexatrim, exercising 2 - 3 hours a day, Medifast, Slim Fast, Atkins Diet, Weightwatchers, Veganism, gluten-free diet, eating small meals/snacks every 1 - 2 hours, working with a nutritionist, getting a personal trainer, etc) and I would either lose weight and quickly put it back on, remain the same, or sometimes gain weight.
I feared that I would do something so extreme as WLS and alter my body and it wouldn't work leaving me forever "broken". I mean if WLS didn't work, I would have no other options outside of liposuction (which REALLY scares me)

When I started my journey almost two years ago, I remember being told during my psych eval that it is very common for us sleevers to develop other addictions post-opt. Made sense to me, since food was my drug of choice and this "treatment" would severely limit my "habit" (ha ha).
However, I never thought I would develop a post-opt addiction because I'm against drinking (alcoholism runs in my family), smoking (my grandma died of lung cancer), gambling (brother is an addict) and excessive shopping (I love clothes, but I'm also very cheap) or a lot of the other common vices I saw around me.
I thought I was fine. Then, slowly and without me realizing it, I started becoming addicted to my job.
I have a special alert set on my phone just for work emails. It doesn't matter if I'm at church, in bed half asleep, having dinner with friends, on vacation, at the doctor's office, at a traffic light, whatever. If I hear that special alert, I'm clamoring for my phone. Almost all my lunches are working lunches. On the weekend, I will sit down at my computer for "a minute" to do something quick for work, and not realize several hours have gone by until I get hungry and/or need to pee.
My job also dominates most of my conversations. I've noticed it myself and find that when I try NOT to talk about work, it agitates me. So I take turns talking off different people's ear about my job. I get excited when someone I don't talk to regularly contacts me because I know that means I can talk about my job for a long time and not feel guilty because it's not like they have to listen to me everyday.
When I watch TV, I'm half paying attention because I'm either reading a work email, responding to a work email or making a document for my job.
Even though my Mom (who I'm extremely close with) has said several times that I seem consumed with my job, I didn't realize it was true until I had two panic attacks (one this morning, one last month). As I was driving home today sorting through my feelings, I remember my pre-opt psych eval. Now that I don't/can't binge eat, work is my new "comfort food". But like I used to do with food, I'm overdoing it.
All my self-esteem and sense of self worth has also become tied up into my job. When I do a great job at work, then I'm walking on sunshine. When things don't go as planned, then I'm miserable and feel worthless. If I find out I've been excluded from something social (ie: maybe some coworkers go to a happy hour) I feel devastated even though I have a good number of close friends and family I spend time with outside of work. I constantly compare myself to other more senior staff members and tell myself I'm a loser who didn't deserve my promotion. Even though I've worked at my current job with the same staff and boss for almost 7 years, every day I go in like I have something to prove. Most mornings, I'm there before my boss and even though I leave before the boss, I go home and work another 3 - 4 hours.
I plan to talk to my therapist, but I just thought I'd share. If anyone has thoughts and/or has been through something similar, would love to hear.
Thanks for reading/listening.

The neck thing was definitely exciting! Prior to have WLS, my neck was a Mama June (Honey Boo Boo's mom) in the making. What used to annoy me is that I would see people (friends, family and strangers) who were much larger than me yet their necks were smooth. It got to the point that i started wearing scarves and turtle necks in an attempt to hide my neck.
Now I show it off with dainty necklaces, statement pieces and whatever else.

The neck thing was definitely exciting! Prior to have WLS, my neck was a Mama June (Honey Boo Boo's mom) in the making. What used to annoy me is that I would see people (friends, family and strangers) who were much larger than me yet their necks were smooth. It got to the point that i started wearing scarves and turtle necks in an attempt to hide my neck.
Now I show it off with dainty necklaces, statement pieces and whatever else.

The neck thing was definitely exciting! Prior to have WLS, my neck was a Mama June (Honey Boo Boo's mom) in the making. What used to annoy me is that I would see people (friends, family and strangers) who were much larger than me yet their necks were smooth. It got to the point that i started wearing scarves and turtle necks in an attempt to hide my neck.
Now I show it off with dainty necklaces, statement pieces and whatever else.

I would say yes, instead of shopping from older woman's type clothes in the big section I can now go into any store and find clothing so I tend to wear age appropriate but more trendy

There's some thinking out there that that WLS is a catalyst. It strengthens relationships that were already strong, but tends to be very hard on marriages/relationships that are already struggling. Not surprised, with as many of us that are on the forum, that we are in different places with our SOs.

I would think that if one is unhappy in his/her marriage and knows that in order to be happy she/he needs to escape it, it would be best to leave that relationship first before pursuing another.
My husband and I have an "open relationship". Either one of us is welcome to, at any time, find happiness with someone else as long as we are upfront and honest about it and we divorce first. I want him to be happy and if that's with another woman, so be it. It had just better be AFTER I get my 50+%. He feels the same about me.

I will not make a call for you if you are asking is it OK to compromise your wedding vows. If you need companionship there are other ways to achieve that.
Perhaps you should seek to find a remedy within your relationship rather than outside it, if you want the relationship you have.

The realself.com website is a great resource to see people's before/after plastic surgery photos. You can even post your own photos and have plastic surgeons comment on what they would recommend!

I've always loved the same kind of clothes, but when my body was bigger, they didn't fit/look right on me, so I never could dress the way I wanted. Bigger Me wore jeans and t-shirts with an occasional elastic waist-banded skirt thrown in.
Smaller Me wears cutsie mini dresses, colorful shorts that came above my knees, maxi dresses that cinch at the waist, skinny jeans, Bohemian tank tops, etc.
Some clothes still don't work for me (ie: my chest is a lot smaller now, so sometimes outfits will fit my wide bottom but be too loose on the top) but I can wear A LOT more stuff now than I can back then.
My absolute favorite thing is how easy it is for me to find stuff to wear when I need to dress up. I used to dread formal events because I knew it would take all day to find a dress that fit me and didn't look too matronly. Now, I can be in and out of any clothing store in 10 - 15 minutes with a wider selection of dresses. :-D

I've always loved the same kind of clothes, but when my body was bigger, they didn't fit/look right on me, so I never could dress the way I wanted. Bigger Me wore jeans and t-shirts with an occasional elastic waist-banded skirt thrown in.
Smaller Me wears cutsie mini dresses, colorful shorts that came above my knees, maxi dresses that cinch at the waist, skinny jeans, Bohemian tank tops, etc.
Some clothes still don't work for me (ie: my chest is a lot smaller now, so sometimes outfits will fit my wide bottom but be too loose on the top) but I can wear A LOT more stuff now than I can back then.
My absolute favorite thing is how easy it is for me to find stuff to wear when I need to dress up. I used to dread formal events because I knew it would take all day to find a dress that fit me and didn't look too matronly. Now, I can be in and out of any clothing store in 10 - 15 minutes with a wider selection of dresses. :-D

I've always loved the same kind of clothes, but when my body was bigger, they didn't fit/look right on me, so I never could dress the way I wanted. Bigger Me wore jeans and t-shirts with an occasional elastic waist-banded skirt thrown in.
Smaller Me wears cutsie mini dresses, colorful shorts that came above my knees, maxi dresses that cinch at the waist, skinny jeans, Bohemian tank tops, etc.
Some clothes still don't work for me (ie: my chest is a lot smaller now, so sometimes outfits will fit my wide bottom but be too loose on the top) but I can wear A LOT more stuff now than I can back then.
My absolute favorite thing is how easy it is for me to find stuff to wear when I need to dress up. I used to dread formal events because I knew it would take all day to find a dress that fit me and didn't look too matronly. Now, I can be in and out of any clothing store in 10 - 15 minutes with a wider selection of dresses. :-D

After my wedding to an abusive man was cancelled three days before it was set to happen, I spent the next five years desperate for love. I tried meeting guys in person, plus I did speed dating,Yahoo Personals, EHarmony, and Match.com (twice). I met my husband on Match two years ago.
My experience with online dating is yes, full of rejection. Of all the sites, eHarmony was the worse because there were 5 phases you had to go through before you could do open communication (email back and forth freely) and I used to get to phase 3,4 and sometimes 5 with a guy, then I'd never hear from the guy again or he'd close communication without an explanation.
I was 190lbs at the time (not skinny, but not fat either) but it made me feel so ugly and unwanted. I got really sad and stopped using the site.
It was the same with Match that first time, but think my lack of success there was because eHarmony gave me a complex and i was bitter. I can't remember what all it said, but I was pretty bitter, sarcastic and EXTREMELY specific of the guy I wanted and not open minded. My heart was broken from my last break up and being rejected from eHarmony.
I gave up online dating for two years, during which time i got in a relationship with a nice enough guy (but not the right guy), tried to get back with my ex, broke up with nice enough guy, and speed dated and went to bars with my single, bitter friend.
Then I decided to give Match one more try. I went in not expecting to meet anyone special, but to get more practice interacting with men since I'm so shy.
I think because I went into Match the second time with a positive attitude and not much expectation to meet "the One" I had a lot more success. My profile was short and light hearted and even though I was between 220 - 225lbs, i got a lot of winks and maybe 5 - 7 messages a week.
There were still quite a few duds and about 3 weeks in, I got a message from a guy who kind of pissed me off because i had stated in my criteria that I was looking for a man between the ages of 27 - 40 and this guy was only 25 (i was 28 and didn't want an immature young guy or some guy to think because I was older than him I should be Godly thankful for his time and be his sugar mama)
The old me would've written him off, but i decided to at least look at his profile. I liked what I saw, so I messaged him back.
He said he was turning 26 in a month, which, still felt too young, but he was interesting to talk to, so we kept chatting.
That guy became my best friend and then husband.
EDIT: maybe we can start a single and looking section on here. Even though i love my husband, if we weren't together i think i would have liked to date another WLS guy because they'd be Ble to understand what i'm going through.

After my wedding to an abusive man was cancelled three days before it was set to happen, I spent the next five years desperate for love. I tried meeting guys in person, plus I did speed dating,Yahoo Personals, EHarmony, and Match.com (twice). I met my husband on Match two years ago.
My experience with online dating is yes, full of rejection. Of all the sites, eHarmony was the worse because there were 5 phases you had to go through before you could do open communication (email back and forth freely) and I used to get to phase 3,4 and sometimes 5 with a guy, then I'd never hear from the guy again or he'd close communication without an explanation.
I was 190lbs at the time (not skinny, but not fat either) but it made me feel so ugly and unwanted. I got really sad and stopped using the site.
It was the same with Match that first time, but think my lack of success there was because eHarmony gave me a complex and i was bitter. I can't remember what all it said, but I was pretty bitter, sarcastic and EXTREMELY specific of the guy I wanted and not open minded. My heart was broken from my last break up and being rejected from eHarmony.
I gave up online dating for two years, during which time i got in a relationship with a nice enough guy (but not the right guy), tried to get back with my ex, broke up with nice enough guy, and speed dated and went to bars with my single, bitter friend.
Then I decided to give Match one more try. I went in not expecting to meet anyone special, but to get more practice interacting with men since I'm so shy.
I think because I went into Match the second time with a positive attitude and not much expectation to meet "the One" I had a lot more success. My profile was short and light hearted and even though I was between 220 - 225lbs, i got a lot of winks and maybe 5 - 7 messages a week.
There were still quite a few duds and about 3 weeks in, I got a message from a guy who kind of pissed me off because i had stated in my criteria that I was looking for a man between the ages of 27 - 40 and this guy was only 25 (i was 28 and didn't want an immature young guy or some guy to think because I was older than him I should be Godly thankful for his time and be his sugar mama)
The old me would've written him off, but i decided to at least look at his profile. I liked what I saw, so I messaged him back.
He said he was turning 26 in a month, which, still felt too young, but he was interesting to talk to, so we kept chatting.
That guy became my best friend and then husband.
EDIT: maybe we can start a single and looking section on here. Even though i love my husband, if we weren't together i think i would have liked to date another WLS guy because they'd be Ble to understand what i'm going through.